Davina Palik Ep Banner image

Davina Palik

Davina Palik completed the Mentorship program last year and she shares with us her journey of healing, stepping into her medicine, and moving with her family from Quebec, Canada to Samara, Costa Rica, where she and her partner Daniel guide people through transformative breathwork sessions.

Connect with Davina:
Website davinapalik.com
Instagram: @davinakudish


 

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind-Body Free Podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss, and today I am here with a friend who I’ve gotten to know from two different worlds, both photography and now healing too. So I’m with Davina Palik today, and she is a Breathwork facilitator, a journaling coach, and a retired destination wedding photographer. She’s the proud author of exactly one child’s book holder of a Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism, a mindful mama writer, share and path feminist, humanist, humanist.

Abby (00:00:33) Ask the recovering, perfectionist, creative, and storyteller. She shares her journey, which has included everything from journaling to breathwork to plant medicines, to show others that they can heal. She values vulnerability and authenticity and is called to hold a safe space to create and isn’t constantly expanding her toolbox to do this. Davina lives in Costa Rica with her partner Daniel, her son Max, and her daughter, Charlie. Welcome, Divina. Thank you for being here. Thank you.

Davina (00:01:05) Very excited to be here.

Abby (00:01:07) Yes. And this is so cool because we used to know each other in the world of wanting photography, like for so long ago. It seems like now. Yeah. Like another lifetime. And now you are living in another part of the world. Now you are doing this beautiful, healing work with your partner, Daniel. Tell us a little bit about your journey. What brought you here from where you were before?

Davina (00:01:41) My goodness, what a question.

Abby (00:01:45) All little questions today. Yeah.

Davina (00:01:48) Oh, my. I don’t even know where to begin. So many things. I mean, I had I kind of grew up with this big wound that needed healing. I think it was I was the I was sexually abused as a young girl. And I think I just. It’s my whole life. Part of my mission was to heal from that, and I think I just didn’t know it or didn’t consciously realize that. But so much of what? Presented itself in my life or was a result of these wounds. And yeah, I. I did a lot of healing without even consciously realizing it, but. Eventually through. Other things, I guess in life I realized I got into healing more intentionally, I guess.

Davina (00:02:43) As things came up and I was seeking something. Something more, something deeper. And I had struggled with depression for a long time. And I was looking for. More than just being on medication and that kind of found spirituality and ayahuasca through that and then eventually breathwork and that journaling was a big tool for me. So I used a lot of that and just kind of picked up all these tools along the way and eventually moved to Costa Rica, which was unexpected, but kind of I felt very called to this place and ended up here.

Davina (00:03:24) So the journey continues. We’re in a place now where people say that the town where we live called Samarra is a place where people come to heal. And again, I didn’t move here knowing that, but I see it in the people that I meet, people who are on similar journeys, the types of offerings that other people have intuitive folks who are meeting here who are helping me heal as well. And so yeah, that’s the overview, I guess. Yeah.

Abby (00:03:59) Yeah. Oh, man. And, and it’s wild because we were chatting a bit before and I was mentioning how last time we met like this online, just the two of us, it was like just before the mentorship started.

Davina (00:04:16) And it must have been about a year ago.

Abby (00:04:17) You’re still.

Davina (00:04:18) Doing.

Abby (00:04:19) About a year ago. Yeah. Yeah. And now you’re. You move from Montreal to Samarra. I didn’t know that. It’s a place people come to heal. That’s beautiful. It’s like, almost. Go ahead.

Davina (00:04:33) No, it’s something one of my friends who’s been here for ten years told me. She says there’s kind of like this energy here and that people come to feel.

Abby (00:04:46) Do you think that there’s like a calling for that right now in the world?

Davina (00:04:51) Yeah. I think I’m proof of that. I think. I didn’t think through the mentorship with you. One of the big lessons I received was that from my higher self essentially was that I had medicine to offer. And I remember having so much resistance to that being like, What do you mean? I don’t have any medicine to offer. I’m not special in any way. And then I got comfortable sharing more and more, and I use Instagram to share my experiences have been. And I’ve shared my healing journey from the sexual trauma on my website. And the more I share, the more people reach out to me with their own stories or just looking for someone to connect with.

Davina (00:05:44) And it’s almost every day that I have a message in my inbox from somebody who’s like, just relates to something that I’ve shared who just wants to connect or wants to share their own thing or wants to run something by me sometimes, you know, just it’s incredible. And I think I see it from these people who reach out to being and how much healing is a collective thing that we are searching for healing. And there are so many beautiful ways to do that. It doesn’t have to be just one road. And hopefully, I can show people that there are different tools and you don’t have to go to the Amazon and drink Ayahuasca either. So that is a marvelous tool. So yeah, it’s I see that there is indeed a need and I’m encouraged by how much people are seeking their healing and taking it into their own hands. And I think it’s something that we need.

Abby (00:06:43) Yeah. Did you feel? Like. As you mentioned, you’ve been sharing a lot of your journey and your healing path. And I remember, you know, not that long ago and still, sometimes it’s almost like there can be this feeling of taboo around not being like fully feeling fully perfect all the time. And I don’t know a single person that does this like shame around the concept of mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Did you find that it took courage for you to share, or is that something you were always comfortable with?

Davina (00:07:24) It’s a good question and I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on it now. I kind I think in a way I’ve always been comfortable sharing. Especially when it came to what happened to me as a child. It was some of the other things, maybe. Ways that I still struggle with things or that stuff that I. Feel is harder or has been harder to share. I put in my bio that I’m a recovering perfectionist and it’s something I struggle with a lot is like, what if I’m not seen as perfect? And I feel like the sexual trauma was always like, apart from me, in a way, separate from me. Like it was something that had happened to me, but that I didn’t feel like.

Davina (00:08:17) You know, I, I felt comfortable sharing it for that reason, I guess, whereas like the workings of my, into my inner mind and the ways maybe that it affected me, I would have been a little bit more hesitant to share because of how they might reflect on me, you know? Yeah. And even today, I have moments where I’m like Am I being in mine? Am I trying to protect some part of myself by not sharing this? And is it worth exploring that? And is it worth opening up to the world about this? Because someone could relate. And I feel like that is my medicine is being like, here I am and you’re welcome in this space, too. And if you relate to this, you’re not alone. Yeah.

Abby (00:09:04) That’s beautiful. And it’s. I’m sorry. Go ahead.

Davina (00:09:07) No, I was just thinking about how you had said one time, like, all of me is welcome here. That was or all of you are welcome here. I feel like this came up in our mentorship. And it’s something I journaled about the other day and it came out, like, quite beautiful. I think I’m getting ready to share that one soon about how I’ll. Yeah, all of me is welcome here. I can face all these parts of me, the ugly parts, the spiritual parts, the parts that I think I’m supposed to be over by now. Surely I know better than this. And guilt. Shame, you know.

Davina (00:09:42) Greediness, like the stuff that’s the stuff that’s harder for me to share because it’s, you know, it’s the. The shadow parts, you know, but are harder to admit to. But the more we do that and in safe spaces and for me even publicly owning that I think there’s a lot of power in that. And they kind of that’s how you shed light on it and also how you connect to others who can relate.

Abby (00:10:13) Yeah, I think so too. I think that’s it’s wise and it’s really brave to do that. And it’s, you know when I think about social media and how it’s like this so often this highlight reel of the best version of ourselves and all of these apps to transform the way we look. And it’s like it feels like the antidote to that. Like just how real can I be in something I like that you mentioned could it help someone relate I like that as a question as like could this help someone relate and what they’re going through to feel less alone or with where they’re at? And was it Brené Brown that said, we all have shame and the less we talk about it, the more we have? And it’s just taking the shadow and bringing it. Yeah, we can bring the shadow into the light then. It may not be as scary as we once thought it was. It just takes some brave people to be the first to do that. And then someone else can say, Hey. Oh, yeah, me too. Oh, I thought that was just me. It wasn’t just.

Davina (00:11:17) Me.

Abby (00:11:19) Yeah. So you mentioned plant medicines. I’m sorry. Go ahead.

Davina (00:11:25) No, sorry.

Abby (00:11:25) We have a bit of a delay.

Davina (00:11:26) It’s probably my Costa Rica Internet.

Abby (00:11:29) Oh, do we? That’s okay. That’s a good trade-off for being an amazing place. You had mentioned plant medicines being part of your healing journey and also how there are other ways to kind of access these healing states. Can you tell me a bit about what plant medicines were like for you and what you found afterward to continue healing?

Davina (00:11:57) Yeah. So for me, it was I who went in with so much fear. So much fear and the experience shed light on how much fear I have had and have around a lot of different things, trying new things, losing control. The list goes on and on. So that was one of the big, big lessons that I got from ayahuasca. I also got to see how far I had come on my healing journey with regards to the sexual abuse in that I got to heal. I had an experience where I witnessed the house where all of this had taken place. I was kind of floating above it and I got to with my love. And at first, it was very scary and it was like tightening around me. The energy felt very scary. And then. I realized that I had the power to release it and to give it love and to. It was in my control, essentially. And so I started giving love to the space and a garden, and I started visualizing this garden, growing over it.

Davina (00:13:13) And it was just beautiful, wild vines. And I just got to watch my masterpiece, what my love and my forgiveness and my intention of setting the space free, what I had been able to do. And that was just like one of the first things I experienced on the first night. One of the other nights, I got to see myself as a young child sitting on the couch with my grandfather while he was abusing me. The scene that I replayed in my head so many times is something that happened many times in my childhood, and I was witness to that. And instead of feeling sorry for my child self, I kind of was like, I know she’s going to be okay. And like, she’s, she’s good. Like, she’s got this. And then I saw him and felt compassion for him.

Davina (00:14:09) And to me that was huge. It just showed me how far I had come through all these other things I’ve done in my life to bring healing. To this event. And. That specific moment showed me that I had. Reached something very difficult to reach, which is to have compassion for the person who hurt you most. So that was a powerful experience. And. A lot of other stuff. I could probably go on for like four or 5 hours about all the things that happened during that week. But when I did that with medicine, when I came back, it was very difficult. Like I will say, I was not prepared for how hard it was. I went through like really tough depression, one of the hardest I’ve ever experienced. And I felt like I was still broken and something was wrong with me.

Davina (00:15:09) And Daniel was like, we had gone together and he was just I’ve never seen him so, like, elated and high on life and attracting all this beautiful energy and connection with people. He was just it was obnoxious to me about how great he seemed compared to how I felt that I was doing. And I was like, Would you please stop smiling all the time, you know? But no, thankfully, he knows how to hold space and was very supportive. But yeah, I just struggled a lot and it was short it was around that time that we came here to Costa Rica and ended up spending three and a half months only to realize that this is where we wanted to call home. And I think since that period, I haven’t this was a year ago now, is that right? Yea, yea, yea. I haven’t experienced the darkness of depression in the way that since then really that that deep darkness. I have a different relationship with it and I think that. The magic that I witnessed with ayahuasca and afterward through different things like breathwork and other things that we’re able to get me to that state, I feel like I can’t.

Davina (00:16:30) Go back to such deep darkness when I’ve seen so much light. Because I know that I’m not made of darkness. And I think that was my fear before. That’s something I kind of believed ever since I was a child. But there was so much darkness in me and to have connected with the light allowed me to balance that out. We can have darkness, we can have a shadow, we can experience it. But it’s not what we are made of. And I feel like now that I know that through my lived experiences, something that nobody could ever take away from me, as much as someone might want to debate me on it, you know, it’s like I just I know what’s true for me. And one of the things we did a lot during the mentorship with you was to connect to that our higher self and go deep within to find what truth is and what truth feels like. And now that I have that tool, I feel like it’s a lot easier to use that voice to guide me versus, you know, all the other archetypes and ego and all these other things that try to get in the way.

Abby (00:17:36) Hmm. That’s so beautiful. There are so many things I want to speak to about what you just said. So with. And with the light in the dark. It’s it’s interesting. So I feel like I mean I was taught in Chinese medicine is the yin yang symbol where there’s the light side and the dark side and there’s the thought of light in the dark. And I thought of dark and the light. And they said, there’s always light with dark and always dark with light. And I think so much of it is just forgetting the light and remembering the light inside of us that we’re made of. I love that you said something that now that you’ve experienced can’t be taken from you. It’s such an interesting thing that to me that sounds like it’s integration. It’s like not a concept in your mind, but it’s something that you experience and knows for yourself.

Davina (00:18:27) No. And I think that very I think that right away after the experience, the ego does try to get in the way and the mind tries to get in the way. Like maybe it was all bullshit. Maybe, you know, yeah, you made that up or it’s just like a dream or like, you know, and then you try to explain it to people and they don’t necessarily understand. So you do try to like it. Find reasons why. Maybe it wasn’t what you thought it was at the moment. And that’s why I think that other practices can be really helpful, like getting back to a place of bliss during breathwork that I’ve experienced with ayahuasca was like, Oh, remember this state, it is true, it exists. And dreams. Dreams are so powerful too. And I’ve spoken to me so much since my ayahuasca experience and all of these things come into to remind me at least, that that it was was real.

Abby (00:19:29) Yeah. I remember that, though, for sure. And it’s and also being in a society where a lot of people are not in that place yet or haven’t known don’t necessarily believe in that world beyond the obvious physical things in front of us. And you mentioned coming back to those states of bliss with Breathwork. So what has that been like for you?

Davina (00:19:57) It’s so cool that Breathwork is such a big part of my life now because I didn’t choose it. And that’s like something I was to it’s ironic. I was seeking to surrender more, which sounds like a bit of an oxymoron. I wanted to be able to surrender more in my life and to let things in. And I didn’t know what that even looked like. What do you mean? Like you don’t make choices and then push towards achieving your goals. It just went against everything I have kind of done up until now in my life. And this just Breathwork was such a powerful practice for me and I have had such great experiences with it. And then I saw just one day I was like, I don’t know, maybe I would like to be facilitated in this. Maybe something I would like to be reading.

Davina (00:20:44) It seems like it could suit me well and something nobody is doing out here in Samara. So I went online to see different things and there was this one class, it was self-paced, which is really what I was looking for because I wanted to take my time. I was feeling very introverted at that moment and I wanted to have something I could work on on my own, kind of like a retreat and work on this thing. And a lot of these other classes were in-person training and stuff, so I thought that would lend itself well to me, and it just seemed like it came into my awareness for a reason. So I signed up. It was a six-month program.

Davina (00:21:23) I finished it in like maybe three months. I was so into it. And then Daniel around the same time did his training, but he did something different. He did a specific method of breathwork, whereas I did a more general training. And then we started to like it was funny because even though we started at different times and worked on them at different times, we both of us got our official certification letter on the same day, which was a total coincidence and interesting.

Abby (00:21:52) Yeah.

Davina (00:21:53) And then we started doing these ceremonies together. We’re doing the method that he was trained in, which is called Elemental Rhythm, and I kind of support him. I lead the opening meditations, I do the connecting to the light that you taught us in our mentorship. So get everybody nice and relaxed. And then moving into this, this practice, it’s very active breathwork so you’re doing these heavy, deep breathing, different patterns of it, and we guide along with music and then some breath holds. And then the whole experience, the whole breathing experience lasts only about 30 minutes, but the whole experience is about 2 hours because there’s so there’s a long meditation at the end and some integration time and then we share.

Davina (00:22:46) And it’s just incredible to see the experiences that people can have. It’s just and here in Samara, you know, people are here to heal. We see it a lot through the people who pop into our class. And we have regulars already, even though we’ve only been doing this like several times now, people who come every week and who have a different experience every week, and there’s a lot of people who come out here to experience plant medicine as well. So they might do, Oh, some people facilitate blood flow out here. And so they go to this complete ego, death and reaching, you know, like a near-death experience. And then they come to Breathwork a couple of days later and they’re able to go back to that place just through Breathwork, which is incredible. And I’ve seen people have memories of childhood memories come up, relationships that are being called to be healed, that are coming up, and the memories that they’re being shown related to somebody in their life with who they then feel called to reconnect with or. You name it.

Davina (00:23:49) I feel like we’ve already seen it and we’ve only just begun. So it’s such a beautiful, powerful practice for accessing all kinds of things. And recently my parents came to visit and then my sister and her partner came to visit. And so my dad, who I would have never imagined would be interested, came to one of our classes. And so, yeah, it was incredible to have him like come and do the breathing. And I saw him working hard and it was the first class that I assisted Daniel with, which was cool. And then afterward, like even my mom was like, Wow, he’s so white, he feels like a different person. And I was like, Yeah, transformation comes in all sorts of different ways. He might not have had much to report on in terms of the experience, but something happened because I could feel it. We could all feel it just being around him and yeah, it’s cool to be able to share that now with people in my life as well.

Abby (00:24:46) That’s so beautiful. What a beautiful blend with the breathwork that Daniel is leading them through. And then this extra layer of intention and connection sounds like integration afterward as well that you help guide them through. It’s incredible and so beautiful to be able to offer that to people in your life, especially people who you wouldn’t expect. I find it, you know, it can be so surprising who shows up and is ready to do the work once you start offering it to people?

Davina (00:25:12) Yeah.

Abby (00:25:14) Ha. Yeah, I remember doing I did a hollow Tropic Breathwork class like I attended one a few years ago, and I just did the breathing, the circular breathing process and then all my hands, like, tightened up. And I felt all of this tension in my body and all this tingling. And then I just a lovely facilitator came over and she did this like Reiki tuning sound and like, put her hand on my neck and all this, like, deep, deep wail of a cry just came out for a couple of minutes and I was like, too in it to care to be embarrassed about everybody else in the room hearing it. But afterward, I just felt so much lighter and the whole rest of that week I felt like a different person. And my husband Dave was saying, you, you were better. When you go to that, you should go more. I don’t think they’re offering it here anymore, unfortunately, but it was amazing. It was so transformative. And it was something that was just about breathing and being in my body and moving all the stuff that was held in my body.

Davina (00:26:15) is Pretty incredible. It is like there’s when I’m guiding, I’m often telling people like, see how if you’re facing resistance, see what’s on the other side of that, because it is a safe practice for doing that. And you’re like, Oh, it’s just breathing. But then you do face like so many, your ego’s trying to protect you, right? It’s like, don’t go there. You shouldn’t open that door, you should stop breathing or you should go back to your regular breathing. And all of this comes up. And even to me, what you’re describing, the like the hands and all that being super tight, we see that all the time, these little like lobster claws just because the PH levels change in your body. So it causes that. And I find it like oddly cute when people are like their little tiny hands.

Abby (00:27:03) Lobsters, little.

Davina (00:27:05) Insect arms and yeah, it can be very scary for people, too, which is why it’s helpful to have we always brief people on the kinds of things they can expect. Yeah, it’s incredible. What you can do with just your body and the emotional release that you’re just describing is so common for me. I don’t think I’ve ever done breathwork and not like cried a ton or released some kind of in some kind of emotional way. I’ve also experienced that with ice baths, which is probably one of my least favorite things to do, but also one of the most powerful things that I can do. It’s literally like 5 minutes to release so much. And I also was able to bring my sister and her partner sub to the ice baths that we do here with the community.

Davina (00:27:54) A lot of people come to Breathwork, go to the ice baths as well, and a lot of different great offerings around here. And the ice bath. The first time I did it here, it was. I went in and I was like my whole body. I got the technique from being in that ice bath. My whole body was frozen, you know, couldn’t move at all. And I was just focused on my breathing. It’s like I went into a trance or something. And then when my body finally relaxed, I just burst out in tears. But like a child, like this deep, deep sob. And one thing that’s helpful for me with this stuff and something that I will guide people in Breathwork as well, is that we don’t always need to have a story around these emotions. Sometimes they’re just stored in there. They might not even be ours.

Davina (00:28:39) They just what we have to do, what our job is essentially is to be present with them and let them pass, you know, and breathwork ice baths. All of these types of things are great practices for just releasing that stored energy, those emotions that just show up. They just want to be felt. And yeah, there doesn’t have to be a story around it. Like, Oh, why am I sad? Or Why am I so angry? The last ice bath  I did. I was so mad. I had so much anger. I went in and I was like, I’m mad. I have to do this. I don’t want to be here. And the facilitator who helps us through the ice baths, she’s like, Let it out, let it out. Just be you. And I was just like, wow, like screaming in the ice baths and felt amazing. And then when I got out, I was like a new person. Yeah, that’s amazing.

Abby (00:29:24) Very powerful. It is. It is amazing. It’s like in the work that I’ve done over the years, I felt I feel like. Maybe the number one, one of the key things that contribute to this depression and fatigue and illness, it’s just all of the emotions that didn’t get to be felt that are still held in the body. And if we can find more ways of getting those out, and especially without even needing to attach to the story like that, can just we can look at it and analyze it in a package, but sometimes we just got to heal and we got to get it out. We need to do it as fast as possible so that we can start feeling a lot lighter and a lot freer. And it’s something that I don’t think we talk about a lot in our society.

Abby (00:30:08) And so it can even seem surprising to me, too, or a friend of mine gave me a massage one time and I had like this chronic jaw, like this TMJ tension, and she massages all the stuff out of my jaw and I felt great. And I went to bed that night and I woke up in the middle of the night just furious, like, for no reason, but just so angry. And she worked all this tension out of my jaw, like, down to my heart, where I could feel and process it. There’s no story behind it. It was just like, Oh, this is all the stuff that was sitting in my body. And it’s I think if there are as many avenues as we can find to release that effectively, then that’s so powerful and it’s so healing and it’s so preventative for other possible issues down the road.

Davina (00:30:53) Yeah. All of that gets stuck in the body if it’s not expressed. My friend here is a massage therapist, a yoga teacher, and a lightworker. She’s extremely connected and I’ve had the privilege of being at her table a couple of times. She does like a34 hour massage. It’s incredible. And she works through it. Yeah, she’ll be like, Here’s your grandmother’s anger. You know, she’ll find so much stuff in the body. And it’s like, really, she really reads the body and finds things that are stuck in there, and she’ll work as long as she needs to on certain parts. Yeah, I’ve had this chronic shoulder issue for years now and I’m constantly trying to work with it to be like, What’s in here? What’s stuck in here? I’m still working on it. I still don’t know all the answers. I keep having these like ideas of what it is, and sometimes I’m like, Maybe I don’t need to think about it. I just need to feel through it. And sometimes I’m like, No, I need to break this down. And so it teaches me a lot, this injury, and yeah, always unpacking new layers of it until hopefully it will get healed eventually for good.

Abby (00:32:06) Yeah. I have faith that I will. For you, it’s just part of the journey, right? Continuing to unpack and learn. I find that true. Like I’m learning more and more every day and feeling more and more called to integrate lessons physically into the body.

Davina (00:32:21) Yeah. I believe that if it’s still there, it’s because it still has more to teach me. So I just need to keep. Keep listening and keep paying attention. Keep being with it.

Abby (00:32:31) Exactly. Yeah, it’s a great perspective. I kind of see it similar. I see it as a feedback system of like, okay, my body’s giving me a message or it needs my attention in some way. And whether that be feeling emotion or integrating something with breath or movement or awareness or life path, as you guys went to this whole other part of the world to kind of sounds like answer this sort of calling. I feel like that’s a big part of it too, is just permitting yourself to do what you feel like you’re meant to be doing and where you’re meant to be doing it.

Davina (00:33:04) Yeah. There are so many excuses we can come up with to come up with, to do, or to not do the things that sometimes we’re called to do. This is a huge leap of faith in so many ways. I’ve had so much emotion come up around this move. And, you know, I was attending the mentorship during the move, right when we’re preparing to leave. And when we arrived here, the mentorship kind of fell right in the middle of all of that, which was wonderful for me. It meant I had a lot of support from all the women in the group. But yeah, so much came up, you know, it was, What am I doing? Why I’m imploding my life, you know, why would I step into the unknown like this?

Davina (00:33:43) I still have moments of really, really being homesick, of missing the house that we lived in and grieving the fact that, like, our life will never be in that house again. And all those memories of the kids being Little Charlie are my almost six-year-old. She was brought home to that house and. Yeah. It’s just really there’s a lot of sadness around the passage of time because it’s such a house is such an anchor for those five years of our life, which happened to be the first five years of Charlie’s life, too. And I still grieve a little bit for that house. And there are so many layers around that because I have I recognize the privilege that I had to be able to sell the house. When we did, nobody kicked us out. We weren’t forced out of the house for financial reasons. If anything, we got to sell at the height of the market, probably.

Davina (00:34:37) I never thought we’d be able to sell the house for what we were able to sell it for, but it was a result of that time. And, you know, all of these things kind of ushered us out of there being like, Oh, do you want me to make it easier for you? Like, here’s a good financial amount for your house and you want me to make it easier for you? It’ll sell in four days. And, you know, here’s a beautiful town that you love. Oh, and the town also has a French school, which was important for you. Like, you know, all of these little things that just lined up and community, my goodness, like I just said, the word community. And I got chills up in my arms because I didn’t know that I was moving here for the community. But like, that is what we got here. Like, it makes me emotional because it’s so special and it’s something I’ve never experienced before. Like, I didn’t know I was missing it until we came here.

Davina (00:35:25) It’s we’ve been here almost seven months now, and I have probably 12 people who I could call if I needed them right now who would show up here for me, you know, like emotionally or physically or picking up our kids because we can’t make it or lending us their car because our car broke down, like or, you know, if I just really needed someone to talk to, it’s just. I feel like we have these beautiful relationships with people here, but I’m so grateful for people from all over the world and people who are born and raised here in Costa Rica I’ve had the pleasure of making all kinds of different friendships. Yeah. It’s something so, so special. And when my family was here visiting, I felt really lucky that they got to witness that.

Davina (00:36:10) And even though it’s something like my parents couldn’t see themselves doing, moving to Costa Rica, they kind of thing we’re crazy to have done this. I think part of them were nuts, but they also told us, like, we get it, I can see you and we see the kids and how you’re thriving here and these beautiful people and your life. And we get it. And that was I didn’t need that, but it was nice to be able to share that with them and to have them see it.

Abby (00:36:35) Yeah. Wow, it is so beautiful. And something, where that came to mind earlier when you were talking about kind of holding that space of what you touched, was real like with adult will come up of like, oh did you make that all up? That was all in your mind. But if you can find community and people who will be in that space with you and share that with you, I find it can be so affirming and nurturing to help grow that part of you and such a beautiful heart connection.

Davina (00:37:09) Yeah. And I feel like I was sharing this with Daniel the other day. I feel like a lot of the people who we’ve met here, they see me and like, I don’t know how to express this. I feel like I like how they see me. I like the reflection of me that I see through them. Hmm. Like there’s a friend I made here. Who? I sat with her. We had this, like, four-hour coffee, and she facilitates Rufo, and she just talked about me, like, the way she sees me. And I was just, like, in awe that I got to receive that from her with such a beautiful gift, you know? She’s like, I see how real you are and how pure your heart is.

Davina (00:37:58) And she shared a lot of things with me that were very difficult for her to share in the past, but she’s like, I feel very open with you and I want to share this with you. And it’s like, I got to see again, like the medicine that I have to give. I got to see it reflected through how she was able to receive it if that makes sense. And I think I’ve been somebody who for a long time I had this idea that I. It was very ordinary and had nothing special to offer. And I was broken and needed so much healing and so much caretaking and all of this. And then being like, No, actually a lot of what I’ve lived is part of what makes me have this medicine.

Davina (00:38:42) And if it’s nothing else but to hold space for people so they can share something that they’ve never shared with anyone before, that is extremely valuable. I don’t have to be some kind of like guru or medicine woman, you know, and it doesn’t have to look a certain way. And I’m finding ways that I just existing and doing continuing to do the work that I’m doing for myself and coming from a very humble place where my ego has a healthy reality check regularly, you know, is allowing me to to get out of my way and to just be of service in the way that I think that I’m probably meant to, you know.

Abby (00:39:26) Yeah. Yeah. That’s such a beautiful journey to go on and kind of realize that you do have these things to share. And I feel like we can get caught in our heads of having to look a certain way or be a certain format. But like when you were talking about just being so open and connecting with people and talking about the struggles you’ve been through and helping them to relate and share their story back to you. That in itself is medicine and there are so many other kinds. It’s just so many ways that you share gifts with the world. It’s beautiful to see.

Davina (00:40:00) Yeah. I think of all the ways that I tried to prevent myself from doing that to, you know, it’s like it kind of makes me laugh because I hosted this journaling group recently. It was a six-week kind of program that came to me very intuitively. I just sat down. I was, like, battling in my mind with it for a long time. It was this idea I had for so long. I feel like I talked about it even during the mentorship, like this idea of like wanting to because journaling has been so powerful for me and I kept getting these like downloads of like, here’s a good topic that you could explore. And I was like, No, no, but I’m not the person to do that. That’s not for me. That’s not for me.

Davina (00:40:36) And then eventually I was like, What if it was for me? What would that look like? And then I just allowed myself to go there. I wrote it all down, I fleshed it out. I, you know, and at the end of it, I was like, this is good. I think I think this could be helpful for people. A lot of the journaling prompts and the themes are helpful to explore and were things that I had done myself and have found helpful. And then I just put it out there to see if anyone was interested. And in 24 hours I had to like close my page down because I had so many people like I wanted to do it.

Davina (00:41:09) And then I did it. But it took me a while to like to announce the dates because there was more fear there. There was more, you know, maybe not. You and my inner saboteur were so loud. You had so many reasons why I shouldn’t do it and I wasn’t the right person to do it, etc., etc. Why? I needed more time, I needed more training, and I needed to read more books. You know, so many reasons. And then I was like, You know what? I can hold space. I know how to hold space. And these prompts are good and they’ve helped me. And these people are here and they, they applied and they want to do this with me, so let’s just do it. And I led the group by explaining how much resistance I had met.

Davina (00:41:51) And so I started it by being very honest. I was like, Here are all the things my inner saboteur had to say before I had to shut that voice down and decide to do it anyway. And it was beautiful. It was so beautiful. I had women from all over the world and it was incredible meeting with them every week and seeing, you know, so much coming out of them and how much they showed up to give it they’re all. It was like, here are masks coming down. Here’s what I’m struggling with. Like, you won’t see this on social media, but this is what’s going on behind the scenes. It was just beautiful. I had chills every week on that, on those calls. I cried every week. It was I wasn’t a perfect leader. I didn’t always know the right thing to say. I often cried at people’s stories. I’m sure if I was like doing life coaching, I would have broken all the rules. But.

Davina (00:42:46) But I was me. And I think that was. I did the best I could. And, and it was a beautiful conversation and everyone got a lot out of it. I had beautiful feedback and then I started hosting them here in Samara as well with a small group of women, same thing, this sisterhood, and supportive circle and allowing the journaling to guide the conversations. And it was incredible. And I was like, I could have just listened to that voice and not done this and why, you know, why would I have done that? So I try to keep that in mind. Now, when things come through, something that I’m inspired to do, it’s where is this coming from? Like, where is this creative idea coming from? And oftentimes it’s a battle too. To make sure that the ego and the saboteur voices are contributing something helpful, you know, because sometimes maybe they do have something helpful to say. Maybe it’s true that I don’t know a lot about that topic.

Davina (00:43:50) Maybe that’s one I should stay away from this time. Or maybe that’s something I’d want to learn more about before I venture down that road. That’s helpful feedback. But being like, Don’t do this. Keep yourself safe. Nobody wants to learn from you or whatever. Those are not helpful voices. So I can better detect now where they’re coming from. And I think humility is a big part of it, too. Like mine. My ego needs to be really, really in check. I’m not doing anything that I do if I think I’m doing it for some kind of, like, fame or fortune. Not that there’s fame or fortune in any of the stuff I’ve been doing, but that’s something I need to pay attention to. Awareness? I think what it is for me.

Abby (00:44:35) Yeah. Yeah, it’s I think that when you mentioned earlier how you opened up this journaling class by saying these are all the things that I came up against, this is all the resistance I had to even do this. It’s like it opens up the floor to say, you can be this real here. It’s okay. We don’t have to pretend. And it just takes one person having that level of courage. And that’s such a beautiful space to hold for people, for them to feel, Oh, it’s okay, we’re all equals and it’s safe to show these parts of me here. And just by the way, I also cry when people share their stories. I don’t know if there’s an official you’re not supposed to cry rule, but I don’t follow that if they’re either. You’re just being real and being a person and connecting from the heart, you know? It’s beautiful.

Davina (00:45:26) I could never be any other way, honestly. I just couldn’t. I’ve always been extremely sensitive and Charlie is a little copy of me when it comes to that. She is super sensitive. We watch a Disney movie and we’ll like sob together, you know, just very empathetic.

Abby (00:45:42) It’s a superpower because it helps you hold space and feel what other people are feeling. And I remember, I think I couldn’t be any other way either or I could try, but I mean, miserable trying. I remember listening to Oprah talk at one point about how she was, like, starting as this news anchor, but she was using all these personal stories and reactions and it was seen as not professional. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t doing it right or doing it well. And then she had this thought like, Well, wait a minute, maybe that is what makes me great. I just pivot it and find a place where she was allowed to be here and made a whole bunch of magic. I feel like it’s just that’s not wrong. It’s just where can I connect in a way that this is a gift?

Davina (00:46:26) Yeah. That’s such a beautiful way of looking at it. Where can I connect? In a place where this is a gift? Yeah. I don’t know if that are the exact words. I tried to repeat it exactly, but. Yeah, it’s really. That’s so beautiful. And that is totally what made Oprah so good. You know, that’s what we love about her. That’s how she was so real. And yeah, I wouldn’t want to be any other way. I mean, it’s that’s how I connect to people too, is I think that’s how they feel like they can share with me because I can hold that space and that I can. I can feel their emotions at least. Yeah.

Abby (00:47:04) Yeah. Help them feel seen. That’s a really powerful thing to be seen in that way and that heart space. So. So are you offering these journaling sessions now? Are you and Daniel doing Breathwork together now? So what’s next for you guys?

Davina (00:47:24) So we are continuing the Breathwork classes or the sessions here. We’re about to leave. We’re leaving for three weeks. At the end of the week, we’re going to the US. We’re doing a little road trip with the kids. They’re off school for a bit, so we figured we’d have a little adventure, which we’re very excited about. And then when we come back, we’ll resume our breathwork sessions. I’m putting it together I’m between journaling classes right now. I just wrapped up my first one, the one online and the one in person. And so I’m kind of figuring out how I want to structure the next ones, but I’m also working on something a little different. I guess it’s another one that I’ve been having a lot of voices getting involved in the process.

Davina (00:48:18) It’s called a return to wholeness, and it’s continuing on the path of healing, on the theme of healing, which is what I think I can I can never get away from, just forever. What I will be doing, I think. But the idea of this return to wholeness is to kind of. Forming a deeper connection to ourselves through different practices. I’ll have recorded Breathwork meditations and sessions. We’ll do like journaling prompts. We’ll do worksheets and different topics to explore and meet. I think I’ll probably do it. That’ll be optional to do it in a self-paced, self-led kind of situation. And also I’ll want to do one with live calls because I enjoy those a lot. And the power of connecting to other people in this container, as I’ve seen firsthand how powerful that is. And so I’ll have that component available.

Davina (00:49:22) And yeah, I’m still kind of like fleshing it out and exploring what that means, trying to spend time with like the most aligned in alignment version of myself so that the ideas are coming from, from that part of me. Yeah. That’s one thing I got to, got to practice through the mentorship was connecting to that part of me and listening to what that part has to say. I think like you kind of touched on this before, but the things I’m trying to create now, I want them to come from like a humble place and from that place of alignment. And it’s more asking myself, like, how is this going to serve others? Versus like me needing to control things to be a certain way or me needing to come off a certain way.

Davina (00:50:15) And that’s I think that’s. I needed to go through a lot of this other stuff to get to that place where I can even be aware of the difference between those voices. Yeah. They’re still there. The voices are still there. But I have a better relationship with them maybe. And I can identify them better. Hmm.

Abby (00:50:39) Beautiful. Yeah. And they, like, they don’t get to run the show anymore, it sounds like.

Davina (00:50:45) Exactly. Yeah.

Abby (00:50:48) So if for the people out there. Who is working through their fear, because you had mentioned that was a big part of the beginning of your healing journey with ayahuasca was moving through this fear this kind of fear of the unknown, this desire to control that, and then stepping into compassion and know so much you’ve been through. So there are people who are on their path and they’re confronting these kinds of things. What would you want them to know?

Davina (00:51:23) I’m. There’s a difference between fear and danger. So, you know, we can look like we think we’re in danger. But remembering that just because it feels scary doesn’t mean it’s something you’re incapable of. It’s a very simple lesson, but ayahuasca repeated to me over and over again, You can do hard things, which is I think there’s a children’s book named that like very basic. But yeah, you can do hard things and sometimes do breathwork I’ll say that to people, just remembering that the boundaries of our comfort zone can be stretched and it can be scary. But it also doesn’t have to be like that. Karate chopping them down. You can stretch them gently and it can be a process. And, you know, there’s a place for conquering fear in a way that’s still it will. It’s scary. Conquering fear is scary, but it can still be done at your own pace. And there’s still a way to do that while respecting what you’re ready for.

Davina (00:52:33) And also that there are a lot of practices to get you comfortable, you know, with fear, which sounds ironic, comfortable with fear, but or to practice that, you know, conquering fear is a practice. And if you’re able to find ways to face fear and to go beyond fear regularly in a way that’s safe and controlled, like ice baths, like Breathwork, those are two very powerful practices we’ve talked about that I personally just really connect to. Then other stuff doesn’t feel as scary anymore. You train yourself to know that you are capable of facing fear and that you’re stronger than you think. Hmm.

Abby (00:53:18) That’s beautiful. Where can people find you, Davina, if they want to learn more about the work you do?

Davina (00:53:25) Yeah. So my website is davinapalik.com constantly a work in progress, but I try to post there and the things that I’m doing and I post some of my journaling entries there and try to continue sharing there on Instagram. I’m @Davinakudish. Could I eventually I will probably change back to there too. But for now, I’m still at Kudish, which is my partner’s last name. And yeah, those are the two, the two places. So. Yeah.

Abby (00:54:04) So. Well, thank you for sharing your journey, and thank you for your openness and authenticity, and integrity in it. And it’s I, I can feel how much it’s reaching out and helping other people and we can’t know how much more that will ripple out now and in the future. So really beautiful work you’re doing.

Davina (00:54:24) Thank you. Thanks for having this conversation with me and also for everything that I’ve gotten from having you as my mentor. It’s been I’m still every day continuing to unpack some of what we explored. And I’m grateful for that.

Abby (00:54:42) I think you it’s so much fun. And you were talking earlier about, like, needing to feel prepared and those things that were coming up. It’s like, I feel like every class is like an adventure. Like, I’ll show something, but I don’t know what’s going to how people are going to respond. And that’s part of what makes it so interesting, is this like dynamic alive thing. And I’m guessing for your what you teach to like you can’t know how people are going to show up or what’s going to come up for them. But that’s part of the adventure. It’s a beautiful thing you get to hold space for.

Davina (00:55:15) And that’s been a huge place for me to face fear. That fear of how am I going to come off and are they going to think I’m terrible at this and being like, no, I trust my intuition. I trust the flow. And yeah, I can only do my best and show up as mine. My most aligned self and give myself grace when it’s not perfect and yeah.

Abby (00:55:59) Absolutely. Thank you. th

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