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26- Announcing Season 2: Reclaim Your Magic

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MIND BODY FREE PODCAST

WELCOME TO SEASON 2: RECLAIM YOUR MAGIC

Season 2: Reclaim Your Magic

Welcome to Season 2: Reclaim Your Magic! After much inner work, season 2 celebrates a new clarity and expansion into how I’m here to serve you. Join me in a frequency that is all about remembering the depth of who you truly are.

Connect with Abigail:
Join the Facebook group: Heart Space Healing for Spiritual Seekers
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Full Show Transcript

00:00:00 – 00:00:30

Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I’m a shaman. I’m here to awaken the healers to not simply teach you, but to bring you home to your own divinity, nature and spirit, so that you may remember the depths of your own being, power and purpose, and embody your original medicine in all that you do.

00:00:31 – 00:00:46

This work is not for the faint of heart, but for the driven seeker will not quit until they find what calls them. This is for those who are ready to step into their power, even though it fucking terrifies them.

00:00:47 – 00:01:31

This is for the medicine women, the lightworkers and the weary souls who’ve lived countless lifetimes. This is a path to mend your deepest of wounds, to remember the innocence of your nature. This is a way of embodiment, integrity and awakening. It is a portal back to your soul and a bridge between worlds. This is where we reclaim our magic, our birthright, and our true being. A magic that was hidden for centuries by religion, madness and fear.

00:01:32 – 00:02:05

It is a power that stirs in our wombs. And a knowing whispered by our ancestors is a song sung by the universe. It is our birthright, our divinity and our being. We are here to remember it. Embody it. To return it to the world from which it was hidden. Welcome. This is season two. Reclaim your Magic.

00:02:11 – 00:03:14

Welcome. Welcome. This is the first episode of season two, and I wanted to create a new season to. Capture a new essence. Reclaim Your Magic is about exactly that. I’m going to be focusing on helping healers and light workers and coaches, highly sensitive people, empaths, everyone who feels a calling to something more. And here to hold the frequency with you. I’m here to be a witness of your divinity. I’m here to stand in my integrity and my authenticity with you. And I’m here to do it imperfectly. To continue showing up. But to come back again and again because. It is my purpose and my calling. And I’m here to stand for yours.

00:03:15 – 00:04:01

I’m here to stand for Mother Earth and all her inhabitants. Because when each of us wakes up to our own true divinity and our true nature and our purpose. We’re helping not just ourselves, but all of the lives we touch. And that is everyone here. All that we do creates a ripple that moves out into the world and to the collective consciousness and to the energetic field. And those ripples affect our thoughts and our feelings and our actions. And it’s felt by Mother Earth and all her inhabitants. So we’re all in it together. And I’m in it with you.

00:04:03 – 00:04:40

In this episode, I’m going to be sharing a bit about what is inspired me for this new season. And some of the journey that I’ve been going through, my inner journey of transformation. And a lot of it has been catalyzed by physical health issues. And this is not uncommon for growth to be activated through the portal of suffering. And it’s not that we need suffering to grow as a belief that if you have, I highly encourage letting go of.

00:04:41 – 00:05:49

But it is been how it’s often done, because otherwise we get distracted and we get caught up in the dogma, in the popular memes, in the things that we’re told to strive for. But when something is painful or feels wrong, that causes us to dig deeper, to go into those uncomfortable or dark places. And from those places alkalis that pain into strength and. Acts as a deeper depth of ourselves. So for me, I’ve been dealing with health issues in my body for the last few years, and as I work through them, I’ve been doing a lot of physical healing, emotional and spiritual healing. And they are all connected. You can’t have one that doesn’t affect the other. Your physical body is inside of your emotional body, which is inside of your spiritual body. They are all interconnected.

00:05:51 – 00:06:54

So you address one, the other stuff’s going to come up to. And as I’ve been working on the physical healing. I’ve reached plateaus many times, and each time it was because I needed to unwind an emotional, energetic, not a past karma or belief and release that from my body, my energetic field, and from my spirit. And part of my practice lately has been going to yin and restorative hot yoga. Something that I’m releasing is chronic fatigue. So I’ve been doing more gentle exercise. But when I go and drop into hot yoga, the restorative, the yin, the lying down relaxing kind, when I drop into there, I go into that dark room. I hear that music, I smell the essential oils. I lie down on my mat and I drop quickly into a visionary journey.

00:06:55 – 00:07:58

And as I’m in this space where I feel held, opening my body, I’m brought into these spiritual, visionary shamanic journeys through past lifetimes, through learning and healing aspects of myself from other lifetimes. I’m dropping into these journeys of uniting these different parts of my being into one of healing all of these traumas that I’ve been through and reconnecting what has been severed. When I drop into these places, there is no past or present. It’s all happening and existing at once. And I know that time is part of the physical world, space and time. It’s how we navigate this physical world. But it is not part of the world of spirit.

00:07:59 – 00:08:32

When I drop into that world, I’m realizing that as I’m going back to connect with and heal and learn from and part of me in another lifetime. I’m realizing that they’re doing the work to connect with me from what is their future? A lifetime. Realizing that it’s all happening at once, that my soul is breast through all of these different lives. And as I’m going back and forward through what could be perceived as time.

00:08:32 – 00:09:50

It’s like I am weaving my spirit back together and as I do this, I’m meeting so many incredible guides and healers and being some are other versions of me and some are entirely different beings. And one of the last images I had, it was reminded me of a scene from Avatar. We were coming together and we were all sitting around a giant, magnificent tree made with light. With branches and roots that curl all around us and roots that go into the earth and connected all of me into one single being. And it was a great healing and wise tree. And it makes me think of Brazil, the tree that Odin sacrificed himself to, to create the runes, to bring knowledge and wisdom into the world is a tree that I see as a portal where souls come through. And is a tree that unifies me and my being my soul. And I don’t know its role beyond that, but I know my experience with it.

00:09:51 – 00:11:02

As I drop into these journeys, they are profound and emotional and illuminating. I go to other times and places. I went to one where I was an asetic devoted to grace, and I chose suffering intentionally as my entry point to that place. Choosing to raise my arm up and keep it up. I lived by a beautiful river under a tree. And I would bathe in that river and look up at the sun. And feel the earth around me. And the trees and the grass. And the other devotees that live nearby and held the frequency with me. And I would feel such a grace, just a presence of love and devotion for existence and for being. There are no words to express this feeling. But what I can say is I’m incredibly grateful to experience it both then and again now through the great tree that I’m going to call it.

00:11:02 – 00:11:51

So through my intention, through my shamanic work for the support of other practitioners who brought me to this moment of remembering myself as a soul in this lifetime, remembering myself as a soul through many lifetimes. And I’ve been forward and back very, very far. Remember my first wound to my spirit on earth when I realized the pain I was inflicting on another by taking their life, even though that life was an animal and my food. It was a moment of heartbreak and empathy. And I followed my life, followed my soul throughout many lifetimes forward and the many hard lessons learned over that time.

00:11:52 – 00:12:46

And while I still forget wisdom and things I’ve learned in this life. Coming back to that, knowing that richness and remembering. Something I am endlessly grateful for. For. I’m here now. I have been and I will be. It is my soul experiencing life, and I believe that it is that for each of us and our own way and our own path. And yet we forget the depths of our own being As we are here. We forget our interconnectedness of everything. And this holds a veil of illusion and confusion over our eyes and causes us to feel alone and scared and separate.

00:12:46 – 00:13:32

I’m here to hold a candle to your own wisdom and truth. I’m here to practice holding the frequency of truth and magic and love and the willingness to do it imperfectly. I’m here for the seekers who are searching. Find an answer to that calling in their soul that begs them to not give up until they find what it is they’re looking for. I’m here for the sensitive souls who feel so much, who feel so deeply. You feel beaten down and overwhelmed and heartbroken by life. By the harshness of this world.

00:13:32 – 00:14:29

I’m here to let you know that. You’re not alone. You’re not weak and you’re not broken. You are a gift. You have within you an innate ability to feel deeply. What is feel and sense? The subtle. This makes you an innately gifted healer, leader and creative. And I’m here to share a voice that I’ve neglected for some time, and that’s my authentic voice. You see, when we get caught up in confusion and comparison. You’d be hard to even know what that voice sounds like and not realize when you’re not sharing it. Until you step back into and connection with your deeper self.

00:14:29 – 00:15:13

So this is my authentic voice. My dear, that I am grateful to share energy with you, that I am humbled by the divinity within you, that I am at peace with all that is in this moment. It is nothing that will happen once one thing is achieved. It is here and now, in this moment. It is a state of being. I connectedness. And while I will move about my day and drop into other states and that are more of the mind, I will be here now with my candle lit next to me. Feeling this energy running through my body and my heart.

00:15:14 – 00:15:58

I’d like to allow some of my guys to speak now. Autumn. Share a message with you. But they want you to know at this time in the world, this is a time of great change, as you know, and see and feel. And these times are calling you to step back into your authenticity, into your true self. They are inviting you to drop the veil. And they’re doing it for suffering. This is the feedback that we are getting as the energy on the planet increases and what we could once do that was out of alignment we can no longer tolerate.

00:16:00 – 00:17:58

And so if we fight this shift, if we fight this increase in energy, in this intensity. It’s just going to create more suffering. What we’re being invited to do. Is. Listen. Listen to our bodies. Listen to our intuition. And listen to Spirit. And if you don’t know how to do that, that’s okay. Simply your intention. Is the first step. It is always with a decision that change happens. It is with a decision, the willingness to feel our body, to breathe deeply, to feel our emotions. To break the patterns and habits that haven’t been serving us to allow ourselves to be uncomfortable with the unfamiliar with the different. So that we may step out of the familiar, painful patterns that have been holding us back. And with this decision, it takes incredible faith because you don’t yet know all the magic that lies ahead for you. But, honey, if you did, you would jump in. In a heartbeat because it is the metamorphosis process. And as we burn away the parts of our past selves, it is fucking uncomfortable. It is at times scary and painful, but with your willingness. With your decision to not give up, you will find yourself.

00:17:58 – 00:18:52

You will find the answer to what calls you. You will embody the medicine that is within you that begs to be set free and serve the world. Thank you for being here with me. I want you to know that no matter where you are in your journey, no matter what you’ve been through, I hold space for you. I feel you. I see you. And I love you. You’re not alone. Even when it feels like you are. The voices that are unkind are not your true voice. You can tell them to fuck right off. Send them into the light and claim your space and your magic and your peace that is your birthright.

00:18:52 – 00:19:55

I’m here to hold the frequency with you, like a muscle. It is practice of coming back to remembering your own truth and holding that frequency. I’m going to do it with the support of my guides who held that frequency for me. My guides who hold the frequency and the initiation of our students. My guides who hold the magic in the ancient wisdom days long, long past. Hold the compassion and the forgiveness that we believe we need. Even though we are innocent. It was with the many light beings. I’m graced to work with and feel and experience their love. That I stand with you here today in service.

00:19:57 – 00:21:04

May we all reclaim our magic and share our medicine with the world. Thank you for listening. I’m Abigail Moss. If you’d like to learn more about me, you can find me at mind Body free on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at you or my Body Free Future episodes. You will find more interviews with healers and leaders and more messages and more channeled messages from me and from my guides. If you have any feedback or questions, reach out to me. Send me a DM. And if you feel the resonance of this, if this frequency is something that you want, support and holding, then check back again next week and I’ll be here. If you know someone who you feel needs to hear and feel this, please share it with them. And if you feel called to leave a review on iTunes to help get this light out more into the world. Thank you for listening from my heart to yours.

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25- Rosa Shetty

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Rosa Shetty, LCSW

In episode 25 of the Mind Body Free Podcast, Rosa Shetty, LCSW shares the science of trauma healing as well as her personal experience with ancestral healing.

Contact Rosa:
Website rosashettylcsw.com
IG @rosashetty
Tiktok @rosashettylcsw

Contact Abigail:
Membership Community for Highly Sensitive People
IG @yourmindbodyfree
Tiktok @yourmindbodyfree


 

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss and today I am with the lovely Rosa Shetty. Rosa is a licensed clinical social worker and mental health therapist from Los Angeles, California. She has over 15 years of clinical experience helping adults heal from childhood trauma and generational and ancestral trauma. Rosa is also the host of the Inner Healing Paths podcast and develops workshops on healing from trauma and generational wounds. In the healing work she offers, Rosa intertwines inner child healing, ancestral reconnection, and spirituality with the latest research-based therapy. Thank you for being here, Rosa. Such an honor and treat.

Rosa (00:00:46) Thank you, Abigail, for inviting me.

Abby (00:00:49) My pleasure. And I love how much experience you have in this and clinical mental health. So can you tell me a bit about what is the differentiation on the clinical side of it? How does that work?

Rosa (00:01:02) So it has to do more with the specific approaches that we use to help folks recover from trauma. We incorporate a lot of brain science understanding and get a better sense of what the brain goes through and what the nervous system goes through. So folks can mean in the session, we provide that information. That’s part of the conversation. It’s part of education. In addition to the processing and the traditional psychotherapy techniques that we use and specifically for trauma, there is a lot of research or evidence-based practices to help folks recover from traumatic events, meaning to help the brain integrate these experiences, these traumas in the story or the sequence of other lives.

Rosa (00:01:57) When it comes to trauma. Trauma, I like to say it’s like a loose page of a book and the traumatic event is like this loose page that is just floating in the book. It represents your life. So our brain doesn’t quite know what to do with especially those events that leave us completely overwhelmed. Our brain doesn’t know how to deal with it or at least certain experiences our brain may not know. So the process of traumatization is like that loose page. So when, when we work through our traumatic memories, when we heal, or when we seek therapy for this, it’s like we’re stitching back this loose page into literally stitching into the sequence.

Rosa (00:02:43) And so you can have more of a cohesive narrative of your life so your brain can make sense of what happened and it can be part of your story. Not, not, not something you constantly triggered. Some people dissociate. Some people just have a really hard time with relationships and it can cause it just affects many areas of your life. So that’s what when we mean in a clinical sense, we’re working through those traumatic memories.

Abby (00:03:16) Love that. Thank you. I love the blend of, like, evidence-based. These works are what we’re going to do. That’s, you know, the proven techniques that work with brain science. Do you? I feel that when someone can explain to me the science of what’s happening in my brain, it opens up this grounded perspective of, oh, okay, so this is normal. And here’s the next step to shifting this.

Rosa (00:03:47) Absolutely

Abby(00:03:48) Yeah. And do you find that like when you were explaining brain science to people, what kind of reactions do you get? Is it like, have people heard of these things before? Because I feel like brain science and trauma are not something that we all know a whole bunch.

Rosa (00:04:05) About, right? Yeah. And when it comes to the psychoeducation part, which is explaining what happens in the brain in very simple terms, because I’m not a neuroscientist. So the way I understand it is also in very simple terms, and that’s how I explain it. So when that explanation is provided, depending on the situation, depending on the context of what we’re discussing, there is their compassion that that is allowed there is a cognitive understanding of what happened. And interestingly enough, in a lot of these therapy modalities, psychoeducation is part of the healing journey and is a component that helps your journey.

Rosa (00:04:56) So learning about this is important. And usually, before I know we’re jumping into this topic, but when we’re starting, when we work through traumatic memories, we don’t start working on any traumatic memories until there is an understanding of what happens in the brain. What happened to you? What must have been like for that five-year-old or six-year-old from a nervous system perspective, what was going on in the brain? So there needs to be that that’s it’s foundational it’s a block foundational block that needs to be that is very much part of the healing journey. Yeah.

Abby (00:05:38) That’s beautiful. I love that. I’m all about giving people foundational blocks. It’s so empowering.

Rosa (00:05:45) Yeah, absolutely.

Abby (00:05:46) And. Yeah. And so do you refer back to that science as you’re going through that journey? Because you mentioned, you know, it’s like this is step one as we learn what’s going on in the brain and the nervous system. And would you mind like I don’t know if it’s possible to do like a high-level view of what happens in our brain, in our nervous system when we go through trauma and as we’re healing? How does that change your time?

Rosa (00:06:16) Yeah. So, you know, trauma by definition is when our nervous system, our brain is completely overwhelmed. So our normal way of functioning is just thrown out. It’s completely out of the frontal part of our brain, which is a part that is in charge of making decisions and is the part that we were when we’re in a place where we feel safe and at ease, that’s active, that’s when we experience trauma. That part goes offline. And what kicks in is the animal, the primitive or animal responses. And I’m sure you’ve heard of the fight or flight response. There’s when it comes to trauma, there’s also fighter flight. And there’s also the submission that there are some animals in the wild.

Rosa (00:07:11) They pretend to be dead. Right? They bring death. That’s a response. So when we go through a traumatic event, those are the responses that kick in. That’s the part of a brain that is active. And depending on the context of the situation, not every situation that we may perceive as traumatic is traumatizing to the brain because it depends on the resources that that person already had in their environment. It depends on the relationships. It depends on how long the extent of the trauma is. Was it a single incident or was it a continuation of incidents over years?

Rosa (00:07:57) So there is a great variation in terms of traumatization. It doesn’t look the same for everyone. So that’s why it’s really difficult when people compare experiences. And I went through that and I’m fine, you know, and then someone else is, is, is not given the same circumstance or even the same family, right? Even just a group of siblings. Right. They may have all experienced the same event and one may be deeply impacted for life. And another one may just channel that in a specific way. And so it’s very so trauma is very, very individual. It’s a very individualized response. But more or less, that is by definition, when we say we were traumatized by an animal, the primitive part of our brain kicks in.

Rosa (00:08:58) And that’s how we know we’re in that mode. So that’s more or less what happens. Then there’s more specifically the amygdala is very much involved in regulating the communication between those parts of our brain, the part of our brain that the primitive responses and the frontal part. So when we’re traumatized, the amygdala completely shuts down the communication with the frontal part of our brain. So over time, when we’re working through trauma, we are working with the amygdala. There is a technique that I practice called davening. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it. It involves touch, right?

Rosa (00:09:45) There are three touches, three specific movements, and I’m doing it right now. There’s that with your palms. And then you rub your arms up and down and then on your face, right? So what that is, is they call it the creators of this approach. They call it the CPR for the amygdala. And these touches, for some reason, help the amygdala communicate with the part of your brain that can help you feel at ease, that can help you feel grounded, and that can help you feel safe. When we are triggered, when we are overwhelmed again, even regardless of how long it’s been since the trauma happened, it could be 20, 30, or 40 years. If we’re triggered, we’re back there.

Rosa (00:10:39) Right. So implementing techniques like davening, especially with the guidance of someone that is trained, can be helpful. To re-provide help and rewire the part of those parts of your brain so there can be that communication. So your primitive brain doesn’t completely hijack you in those moments when it’s not appropriate or you’re 30 years ago something happened and now you’re at work and you have a terrible boss and you can’t deal with this boss. And as a grown-up, because you’re back there. Right, 34 years ago. So this is so when we implement healing or healing or trauma healing techniques, that’s really what we’re doing.

Rosa (00:11:29) We’re rewiring these parts of your brain so they can communicate so that the primitive animal responses like fight or flight or submit don’t take over. And or like I said, some people just completely dissociate. They’re no longer in their body. So that’s more or less what we go through in every situation. As I said, it’s different depending on the age and the complexity of what happened to them. And the age is trauma that occurs pre-verbal. Is it manifested a bit differently for those that the trauma occurred a little bit later when they’re when there is cognitive memory?

Rosa (00:12:16) And then again, some people experience trauma at a point where they can’t remember, but they don’t. The brain blocks certain traumatic events. So it is a very so it’s just a very individualized approach. Yeah. Everyone experiences it very differently. Yeah.

Abby (00:12:37) That’s beautiful. I love that and I love that you mentioned that because it’s such an individualized approach comparison. It doesn’t apply at all because we’re all going through such different things. And the way that I experience an event is so different from the way someone else experiences it. And I love that you touch on what is my support? Do I have the resources, the tools to work through it? Do I have the community to help me through it? How long did it last? There are so many factors that can apply. I think it creates a lot of empathy to say, you know, for me to say I don’t know what they went through.

Abby (00:13:20) I don’t know what it was like for them to go through that. So there’s no way that I could say, Oh, I went through something like that. They should be okay or right, you know, I should be okay by now. There’s no should. This is what happened. This is where we are now. I think it creates a lot of compassion for each other as well as ourselves. Like this is where I’m at and that’s okay.

Rosa (00:13:40) Yeah, absolutely. And you know, it’s also a journey. You know, it’s also very much a journey because I knew that just from my own life, just some of the things that I went through, I was quote-unquote, okay, I was fine for a few years. And then a breakup happened. And then that brought to the surface things that I had not addressed from childhood when I became a mom. You know, two years ago I had a baby. And that brought up more stuff than the surface things that I had not even considered, as you know, that would come up. And they came up and I had to work through that and I’m still working through that. So I feel that sometimes we work through our difficulties as best as we can, depending on our resources and the support.

Rosa (00:14:29)
Rosa: And then and then we’re okay. We’re, you know, we feel great or we feel like, okay, I feel like I got a good handle on my triggers. I feel like I’ve worked through some of my childhood difficulties and then a life event happens, right? A change in a boss. Like I said, for some reason, a lot of folks that I see come in because there’s a lot of it’s a window, right? It’s an entryway to heal. And for some reason, being in the workplace, a difficult boss, being in that power dynamic is so triggering for so many people. And I don’t know, for some reason that’s the doorway. That’s the doorway to work through. And that may not even be the reason. Working under childhood difficulties is not even the reason why they’re coming in.

Rosa (00:15:21) They’re coming in because they are overwhelmed, and stressed with work. They feel like they can’t work. They can’t continue. And it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Right underneath is all of the trauma that they experience. And somehow this person, this boss, is reminding their nervous system of what has happened. Because the body or nervous system doesn’t pick up on it. It’s not a rational process. This is a boss. This is not so-and-so from 20, 30 years ago. Our body just responds to the trigger that feels familiar.

Abby (00:16:03) Yeah. And I love that you call it a doorway. I see it that way, too. It’s like this trigger is an entry point to healing, something that’s very likely been there for a very long time. And in that healing, it’s kind of like a reclamation of a part of yourself. It’s like this is an opportunity to let go of something and become lighter at the moment. It sucks and doesn’t feel that way at all. Right.

Rosa (00:16:27) Right, right.

Abby (00:16:28) But when you do the work with someone like you when you are willing to go into those places of discomfort in a supported way, then it is a place that you can move through and just become so much stronger and happier.

Rosa (00:16:44) Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. And, you know, I think for a lot of folks, a lot of times is bringing in compassion, bringing and understanding for self, for those wounded parts. And that’s when the concept of the inner child is so powerful and becomes very powerful. Because when we use that as a way to connect with those wounded parts because we know when we’re talking about connecting with the wounded parts, that can be scary. Most people do not want to revisit those parts from the past. But when we bring in the element of an inner child, it helps folks conceptualize their trauma in a way that is more gentle and in a more compassionate way.

Rosa (00:17:41) And again, using the doorway analogy, it becomes an entryway also for other healing. And it becomes a very powerful visual to connect with that part within themselves that needs that compassion, that needs that healing and the sense of safety. So sometimes that, that, ah, the parental instinct kicks in and we want to protect and we want to help and we want to and we just naturally a lot, you know, a lot of folks are just naturally compassionate towards a child. Right. And so when we conceptualize that within ourselves, it just makes it so much easier to work through those very, very difficult wounded parts within us.

Abby (00:18:31) Yeah, 100%. I love inner child work and something that my husband and I see in this phenomenal couples therapist and that she says is, you know, the parent is the compassionate one. The inner child is the one that needs the love. But when we stand in our adult self, then compassion comes. And of course, we want to take care of this younger part of us that’s hurting or wants to feel loved or safe or supported in some way. It just becomes natural and being able to put a face to it and engage and interact with that part of ourselves, it’s so freeing. It’s where it gives so much insight and understanding into Why am I just so angry? It’s like, Oh, what’s behind that anger? Oh, maybe there’s, you know, a sad child behind that anger. What does she need or what does she need?

Rosa (00:19:26) Yeah, absolutely. And it’s just amazing. Just when we shift our attention, or I should say, when the intention is to connect with our inner child. And it’s amazing what comes up. And the insight that we immediately receive is almost like we get these downloads because we do hold so much compassion and healing energy within us. So when we can intentionally connect those to the compassion, the healing energy that we have with our inner child, we not just heal, but we also gain an understanding. And we were able to just make sense. And sometimes our brain just takes us to a time in our life we had not even connected a present event with a memory from childhood.

Rosa (00:20:25) And when we set that intention to connect with our inner child, our brain will just take us there. It’s just amazing how that works. And suddenly we’re there and we have a memory of being three or four, whatever, whatever the age and we get it. We’re like, okay, that makes sense. Why is this so hard? So it’s triggering for me now.

Abby (00:20:47) Yeah. So freeing to understand that that’s you know, for me I’ve been in places where I’ve been angry and then angry at myself for being angry because why? Why am I acting this way? I shouldn’t feel this way. And then to be able to go back to that part of my younger self. Just understanding. I feel like compassion comes as the confusion goes away. And then there’s this. Then there’s the opportunity to reclaim that part of herself because it’s like that part of us was kind of trapped at that age when that trauma happened.

Abby (00:21:19) Like in shamanic healing, we call an inner child a form of soul retrieval. It’s like reclaiming a part of ourselves that got splintered off and stuck in time. And when there’s that reunion with that part of ourselves, when that healing happens, it feels like just becoming filled with love, becoming filled up with you again. And it’s such an incredible experience to feel that.

Rosa (00:21:42) Yeah, absolutely. And I feel that just being able to read, it’s almost like you give yourself your past self, you’re a second chance. And it’s almost like a rebirth in a way, right? You’re able to redo what maybe your parents weren’t able to do for you or you’re able to give yourself what you weren’t able to receive back then. So it becomes like a second chance, right, to start over, you know? And it’s just such a beautiful experience. I’ve done shamanic healing for myself and inevitably it always, you know, I tend to go back to just naturally, even when I’m not in the same therapy. Every now I’m doing more of the spiritual healing work for myself in my mind just takes me there, right? And it automatically just, I go to a different time and to be able to, to see yourself in that time.

Rosa (00:22:50) And it’s just such a beautiful experience. I know the last opportunity I had to do that, to do this soul retrieval exercise was a couple of years ago. And I forgot what I was working through. But it was for me. What was amazing is that when I did this journey, it took me back to being like in my twenties, in this specific house that I was living in at that time. And there was a part of my soul that was there in that house and journey through that, and seeing that space and seeing every corner of almost even just being able to to take a tour of that house as me now. But seeing myself there was just that in and of itself.

Rosa (00:23:46) And I know the guide was just asking me to just call back that part because I need that part here now. You know, I can’t stay in my twenties in that house. I need it now. And so being able to call back that, that, that part of my early twenties that was stuck in that house was so healing for me. And, and I mean, I know it didn’t take that long. It wasn’t a very long exercise, but it was so powerful. But again, it’s allowing yourself to redo, you know, it’s like giving yourself a second chance and being that companion for yourself in therapy, you know, you have a guide and you know, when you’re doing some shamanic healing, you also have a guide.

Rosa (00:24:34) That is critical to not feel alone because so much of the trauma that we experience happens in isolation. It happens a lot. For a lot of folks, the actual process of traumatization has to do with being completely alone. Whether you feel alone or you’re alone with no way to escape or no chance of getting help in that situation, no choice in the matter because you’re just there alone. So that becomes a huge component of healing, is to feel like your companion for that little one within you or to allow for some for someone else, a healer or a therapist or a shamanic or shaman. Right? That would be the term shaman to guide you, right?

Rosa (00:25:35) To guide, to be with you in a relationship in those moments that you’re revisiting. And so you don’t feel alone. And the beautiful thing about it is that your nervous system responds to that, our body responds to that. And that’s what starts changing these neural pathways in our brain that let us know that we are safe. We are okay. We’re not alone. And we have a choice. Right. So the choice is the second component of trauma. It happens in isolation and then it happens. And we don’t have a choice. We’re stuck. We have to take it for our survival. So, so, so. Being able to have the choice to go back and heal these parts and be in a relationship either within ourselves.

Rosa (00:26:29) Right. As I am the older one now going back and more in that parental role to our inner child or allowing our the guide, the therapist or the healer to guide us through that. These two components are just so, so powerful for our brain, our nervous system, for our spirit.

Abby (00:26:48) Yeah. Absolutely. It’s incredible. And I love that. It’s like we kind of become when we go back as an adult to revisit the inner child, it’s like we become the healer for ourselves. And we realize from a time that we may have felt so helpless that we become so empowered, we realize how strong we are to be able to heal this stuff, especially with the support of a guide. And you had to do work with generational trauma as well. So this stuff that we come into the world with isn’t, doesn’t necessarily start with us.

Rosa (00:27:21) No, it’s yeah, rarely. It rarely does. So one of the things that I learned very, very early on in my career, when I started my career working in I was doing child abuse investigations. I was a social worker for the Department of Children Services, Children Family Services here in California and Southern California. And so I was going out there and doing investigations of neglect, physical, sexual abuse, everything. And I was young. I was in my twenties. As I said, it was a very challenging part of my life. But it was also more of a calling, I felt and I don’t know if it was more of this, the soul, you know, I went off course, I, I think anyone that goes into this field, they go into for a reason, right?

Rosa (00:28:15) So I went through it because I was trying to unconsciously heal a lot of what I had experienced and maybe even from a past life, maybe from my family. But here I was being very young and helping or doing these investigations. But what was frustrating about it is that for a lot of these children that were now being the victims of X, Y, and Z abuse or neglect, their parents were also victims and it was generations. I remember the specific part that we were working through as it’s a small desert community here in California and it’s a very, very small community. And the families were already known to the system. It was like, Oh if you had been in the department long enough, you likely knew the parent or the grandparent, and then you.

Rosa (00:29:11) So it’s like that you get to see like three generations of this. So that’s a very direct way, right? It’s very generational trauma. There are also more subtle ones or there are those that we don’t talk about, those silent memories that we don’t quite know what happened. But especially if you’re intuitive or you’re an impact, you have a sense almost as if you’ve always had a sense of a specific situation, even though you’ve never experienced it. And then when you investigate, when you find out, you realize that your grandma or your grandpa or whoever or your parents went through something like you had experienced.

Rosa (00:29:56) For example, for a long time, especially when I was young, I think it was like during my teen years, I started getting worried about public transportation and I was afraid of getting into a taxicab. I was super scared of any of that. And later, as an adult, like just with like two or three years ago, I found out what happened to two generations of women, meaning I starting from my great grandmother to my grandma, you know, in public transportation, like they’ve all experienced some house, some type of trauma in public transportation, in a taxi, in a bus. So and so it was I had never heard those stories, you know, when I was I but I just started having this fear. And when I was pregnant, again, these irrational fears started coming through for me.

Rosa (00:31:00) And I know, of course, when you’re pregnant, everything is related to the pregnancy and hormones. And I’m sure it was also related to that. But there was also this element of like I’m like my life is in danger. Like my baby’s life is in danger. And I’m, you know, thankfully, thank God I was healthy, baby. Healthy consistently throughout. There were no issues in that regard. It was just an irrational fear that I had. And that prompted me to want to find out more about my grandmother’s pregnancies, my mom’s pregnancies with me, and with my siblings. And and and finding and finding out. Stuff happened to them too. So it was those connections. Sometimes the generational traumas get transferred through silent memories that we experience.

Rosa (00:31:56) And we don’t know what I mean. I am lucky that I’m able to find out, to have the awareness of asking and with that intention of piecing together these, these, these parts of my history. But so many of us just go through life without that awareness. So it’s really important and especially when it comes to irrational fears, when it comes to sudden, especially sudden phobias, too. To find out if you’re if you have parents or grandparents around you to ask those questions. Because you know from just my personal life, I was shocked to find out the direct connection of the fears that I was having.

Abby (00:32:46) Yeah. Yeah, it’s incredible. I love the term silent memories and yeah, what a gift to be able to find out where that was coming from. When you found that out, did it make it easier to work through that fear?

Rosa (00:33:00) Yeah. You know, when I found out about what was going on with my pregnancy and it’s a trauma story that is that didn’t happen to me. You know it was something that I was experiencing or intuiting because I’m an empath and I think you and I have talked about this. So I think I was just intuiting this at that level. And it’s a story that doesn’t belong to me. So out of privacy for that person, I’m I don’t I’m not going to share it. But what I can tell you is that once I found out what happened, it was like it was pretty overwhelming for me. And at that time, I was working as a therapist for myself. I was just continuing my work, my healing journey.

Rosa (00:33:52) And when that happened, I remember that thankfully, I have someone to process this with to make sense of this in the context of my history, my reactions, and traumas. And I was able to, as I said at the beginning of the podcast, stitch those pages back into this, this narrative of my life. And even though it didn’t happen to me, it is part of my history because it’s my lineage, it’s where I come from. And for me, it helped to make sense. But I think it was a good week or two where I was pretty impacted by this. You know, it was almost as if I was working through personal trauma, even though it didn’t happen to me, I was very much responding and integrating this.

Rosa (00:34:49) I think my brain, my nervous system was trying to make sense of this the same way I would if it had happened. So it was a very real, very, very difficult experience. But thankfully, I have had support. It happened in my thirties. I have a lot of resources available to me and I was able to work through them. It did take me a few weeks to come to terms with that. But I feel, again, going back to that analogy, I was able to just integrate that as part of my history. Integrate that page. That was a page of my book.

Abby (00:35:27) Yeah, that’s beautiful. Yeah, it’s almost like the term kind of acknowledgment and honor comes to mind. It’s like, oh, okay, this. I’ve witnessed this.

Rosa (00:35:36) Yeah.

Abby (00:35:37) So, yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. And it makes me think of your know-how. In different cultures and different things, we’ve been through. Like, did my ancestors live through a famine or, you know, a massive recession? I mean, we think about, you know, feelings of money scarcity or food scarcity or just scarcity, period. Like that stuff just goes so far back. And it’s I kind of see it as we heal the stuff inside ourselves, we’re healing the stuff throughout the whole lineage for all those who come after us. And that’s beautiful work that you’re doing for your child. And in doing this in our work yourself.

Rosa (00:36:19) Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I think since becoming a mom, that has been a huge part of my motivation and my intention now for my healing is because, you know, if we don’t work through these difficulties, inevitably, you know, the energy, the legacy of these trauma wounds do get passed on. There’s an energy component to this. And so I intend to heal and to integrate this into my own life experience for the rest of my life. Because really, when they’re starting trauma that you can work through. But there are other things that you mentioned, these other generational or ancestral trauma that may take us a very long time to work through or to even understand. Right.

Rosa (00:37:09) So I know for me, it’s going to be a lifelong journey of just improving myself. Not so, you know, the way I see it is I’m working through these generational wounds and ancestral wounds and just what I went through in my own life. But I see it as an ongoing process of just bettering and just improving myself, my mental health, my physical health, and my spiritual health for me and my daughter, you know, for me and my for my also for my, my, my mom, my sister. You know, since I started this journey of healing, there’s been a lot of healing that has happened naturally without me necessarily or without them sorry, doing anything, or me saying anything to them.

Rosa (00:37:56) I’ve just noticed some shifts in there, in their own individual lives that, that, that, that shows that they’re working through their difficulties, their wounds. And I think that’s a beautiful thing because that’s what happens, right, is we’re all connected. So when one heals or improves, inevitably those close to us will also receive that ripple effect, because we’re all connected, especially with our close family. It’s going to be received. It’s going to be impacted also. Yeah.

Abby (00:38:33). And I love that you mentioned that. I think a lesson for me is, you know, instead of being the one who wants to heal my family, heal my parents, you know, make everything okay, make it all better, take their pain away for them, which I can’t do. I can just duplicate hearing it, but instead, be that step into integrating myself and embodying that. And then naturally people see and it’s an invitation to do their work if they call too. But also in the subtle, I know you mentioned being empathic and working with the energy of it. They feel that too. It’s like it’s a little lighter in that whole generational line, just kind of things.

Rosa (00:39:15) Lighten up. Yeah, absolutely. Or they reconnect with their voice, for example. Or they reconnect with something that they love to do as a child. And somehow that gives them so much joy at this point in there, you know, so, so and so. For example, for my mom, one of the things that started happening a few years ago is that she started connecting with, well, my mom has always loved plants, but what happened a few years ago is that she started using plants to help people around her get better. And then she wrote this little book. It’s not published. It’s just like for us, for the family. She put it all together in writing and she emailed it to all of us. And it’s like 30 pages, I don’t know. Like it’s a lot of pages of all her healing, all her healing and remedies, and herbs that she uses. And she did that all on her own.

Rosa (00:40:13) And I was just so fascinated by that process as she was and I was supporting her and me without telling her. I think this is healing. I think this is going to be I didn’t say any of that. I didn’t say anything about our family and our lineage or generational wisdom. Nothing. And I was just encouraging like, I love this. Thank you for sharing this. And she found so much joy and so much pride in putting this together for all of us. That was healing for her. And that hadn’t. That I had nothing. To do with anything I share. I think she saw there was a period where I was also really into the plant and I was planting things and that kind of prompted her idea. And so you just never know what’s what, how you can inspire those around you, and even beyond that. Right. Because I’m sure some people have benefited from her healing that I don’t even know about, but you just never know how you can just start that process for yourself, most importantly. And then inevitably, because it’s energy all it’s all energy, it’s going to be received by those near and close to us.

Abby (00:41:23) That’s so beautiful. I love that she just took it upon herself to create this. And I see that being healing for her. And also just this transfer of knowledge to what a gift to your family to bring.

Rosa (00:41:37) Yeah. Absolutely. I feel that it was all because my grandma is no longer here. She passed away 15 years ago, but when she passed away, a lot of that knowledge was gone because at that time, no one was not in that mindset, you know, to pass on anything, you know, for her, it was just survival. So there was none of that. And then when my mom was putting together these remedies, she was remembering a lot of her mom’s remedies and what her mom used to do. And, you know, and so I think the way I like to see it is that we go through that process. My grandmother was also being given that healing giving her legacy was. On. So there’s an ambulance outside.

Abby (00:42:36) That’s okay. Life happens around. Yeah.

Rosa (00:42:40) So it was. So through that, we. I feel that you know, a generation before and generations after, you can now have this opportunity to heal and integrate this wisdom. Right. And, yeah.

Abby (00:42:56) That’s beautiful. And it’s something that it’s so good to be aware of, too, because we talk about ancestral trauma, but there’s also ancestral wisdom. And to feel that wisdom of all those that came before us and that used to be really common practice in more indigenous cultures before colonialism. This knowledge we get passed down from generation to generation, and that got interrupted right through the process of colonialism. So to like you said, she remembered and it’s this beautiful remembering. And you know what? From her mother and that was part of her mother’s remembering from her. So it’s beautiful to see. I kind of picture that as like an opening up and this healing that’s able to flow through the line again.

Rosa (00:43:40) Oh, yes.

Abby (00:43:41) Wisdom that wants to come through.

Rosa (00:43:42) Yeah, absolutely. I know where we’re running out of time, but one of the things that it was it was such an amazing time because I honestly feel that my mom, my grandma was wanting this to happen. I feel that she was so happy to see that we were having this intention to reclaim these healings, these herbs, as, as our wisdom, as to reclaim it and to pass it on. One of the things that started happening to me is that during that time that all this was going on, my mom was writing this. I suddenly started getting things from my grandma. So my grandma passed away. Like I said, many, many years ago, I never received anything from her.

Rosa (00:44:36) She passed away. I was in college and it was just I never really thought of obtaining any of her objects. She had a lot of sayings and a lot of religious items and things that later on in life, I was like, Oh, I wish I would have kept something from her. I wish I would have had something but never did. And then what started happening is that my mom came back one day. She was like, Oh, I found this, this, this statue of, of the Guadalupe Virgen Guadalupe. And I was like, Oh my God, this is my grandmother. She’s like, Yeah, it was a little chipped. And I was like, Oh, it’s, it’s beautiful. And she’s like, Yeah, just clean it up. I know you will like it. My mom doesn’t she doesn’t believe in saints or any of that. She’s a born-again Christian.

Rosa (00:45:26) So she very, very doesn’t like any of that stuff. So she’s like, I know. I knew you would like it. So I wanted to give it to her like, Oh, thank you. Where did you find that? And she’s like, Oh, I was laying, you know, just in the garage, blah, blah. Okay. The fort. Like a couple of weeks later, she came back with like two other items that she found. And then I was like, Why are these things coming to me now? It was like a period of like a month where I got all of these different items that I got her my Bible, and I got all these. I was like, Where is this? I was just so perplexed because all of a sudden this started happening and I was talking to a friend of mine and she’s very spiritual. She channels her spirit guides and in her spirit guides share a lot of information with her about others when, when, and when that is welcomed.

Rosa (00:46:18) So she was telling me from her perspective, what her spirit guys were sharing with her is that these are the items that gave your grandmother strength during the worst times of her life. And she sees what you’re doing for her daughters, for her granddaughters. And this is her way of saying, thank you, I’m tearing up. And this is her way of saying thank you. And I was just very touched, but it didn’t stop there. What she says is she wants you to do one more thing. She wants you to visit your grandfather one one time, one more time. And this is not for you’re not going to do anything. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to. My grandfather’s very elderly, but he wasn’t a good man. He was just very, very he was very he didn’t do good things.

Rosa (00:47:19) So I don’t. I didn’t have a relationship with him and I didn’t have a desire to connect with him, even though he’s still alive. And so when this message came through, a girl wanted you to see him one more time. She is well, she has worked through her karmic debt with him. There is nothing that her soul needs from him. They’re done. Their karmic debt has been done. But there is something important with you visiting him that for some somehow it’s at a soul level and that’s all I’m getting. It’s just like there’s a cycle that needs to be completed and this needs to happen. And I was just so torn because I really did not want to see him. And at the same time, I wanted to do this for my grandma. So it took me several months. I think it was like six months or so.

Rosa (00:48:14) But I eventually went out there, I went to visit him and I was back in my grandma’s house. He still lives there and it was a very emotional process. But it was with him, it was fine. There was no it wasn’t as difficult as I thought it was going to be. I was able to just chit-chat with him. He asked me to play two specific songs for him and like I said, he’s very he’s elderly. He doesn’t have conversations now, but he’ll come up with certain things. So he asked me to play these songs from the 1930s. One of them was I Was a Thorn in Your Past. It was a Spanish song, but that’s the name of the title. And he asked me to look it up on YouTube and play it for him. So I looked it up and the music. I don’t know why he asked for this one, but it was a poem of forgiveness, basically saying, I was a thorn in your path. On your path, but I am sorry.

Rosa (00:49:10) So it was a song and he loves the song. And so I took that message. I don’t know, for me from a grandma, I don’t know. But it was there. And then before I left, the person that takes care of him said, Oh, I’ve been keeping this. It’s a set of miniature collections. It’s like I’ve been keeping this miniature collection. It’s like little forest animals and like little things that my grandma kept in a box. It’s like I’ve been keeping this because I thought it was cute. I had it up on a wall, but it doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t have sentimental value to me. So I want you to have it. And I remember that from that my grandma had this little collection of miniature forest animals. And when I took that, the message I got in the moment, it was like, I just thank you. This was her last gift as a thank you.

Rosa (00:50:07) This is her little, precious little collection of forest animals. And it was her way of saying thank you to me for doing this. One last thing for her and her husband, my grandpa. So it was a full-circle moment for me. It was a process, like I said, of many, many years. And I was able to feel like at that moment I felt done. And weirdly enough, I have not felt my grandma as often as I used to. I have not received any more items from her. My mom and I, of course, still talk about her, but the way it was during those years, it wasn’t. It’s almost like she’s good now. I don’t know how to describe it. I haven’t talked to my friend that did the reading for me at that time. But I felt like there’s a sense of OC. I like she’s done for now at least with this. Yeah.

Rosa (00:51:06) So I just want to share that little story because I felt I’m such a, for me, spirituality and integrating these ancestral memories and ancestral healing components. For me, it’s just part of what I do. So I wanted to share this experience because it gave me so much healing on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. And it’s something that it wasn’t in one sitting. It’s not like I sat and I talked about this and then I knew it was a process, but the key, I think for folks out there listening, is to be able to have that intention of wanting to reconnect and heal from these wounds or things that have. Passed down the lineage. I think it starts with that intention and the awareness that you do have certain things that you want to work through and they didn’t start with you and that they may no longer be here in person, but as energy is spirit form, that may still be very much involved.

Rosa (00:52:07) And we welcome that. It can be such a huge and powerful source for our ongoing healing. It’s a component of our healing as well. It’s healing. Our trauma from the brain perspective is one component, but there’s also the spirit that we have to tend to. And that’s why I wanted to share this story and I hope it resonates.

Abby (00:52:30) That’s so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I was just feeling so much love around as you’re talking about it. Like around your grandma, your grandfather and and and gratitude, it feels like for you doing that. And how incredible to have that moment with that song to do and to feel and to have that come full circle. Those full circle moments are so heart-expanding and profound. Absolutely beyond words. So.

Rosa (00:53:00) Absolutely, yeah. And my daughter, I took my baby with me. My daughter and my mom were there with me, too. So it was like this generational healing. And we all felt, my mom, mind you, she just didn’t have what I was what I had in mind. Right. My intention was very different. She was just there because she always has a relationship with her father. So she was just visiting him and she was just so happy that I finally agreed to see him. And that sense of giddiness, a sense of joy was felt for my mom. For my mom told me she experienced that for so many days after and same for me so many days after that experience, I still felt that sense of giddiness and joy. It was just so uplifting energetically that we just felt happy for a long time after that, which was also a very, very beautiful reward to experience. Yeah.

Abby (00:53:57) I love that. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here today and doing this work. Your mind, body, and spirit. Yeah. So, Rosa, people want to reach out to you. How can they find you?

Rosa (00:54:07) Yeah. So I’m on Instagram. Of course you can just find me by my name, Rosa Shetty. And I also have a podcast. It’s called Inner Healing Paths. And my podcast is all about just different ways of healing. I interview people. I had you, Abigail. I think you were actually the last episode I uploaded the last one there. Yeah. So I just talk about all things related to healing of the mind, the heart, and the spirit. And I also have a Patreon and we meet once a month and we talk about in a more personal and deeper way about just different healing topics. In June, we’re going to be talking about parenting our inner child, and the patron is for women only. But of course, the podcast is for everybody.

Abby (00:54:53) Yeah, awesome. That’s beautiful. I love it. And we’ll put those all in the show notes as well. Thank you for being here. It has been such a pleasure. So much love to you and all this incredible work that you’re doing in the world.

Rosa (00:55:06)  Thank you. Thank you, Abigail.

 

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24-Imposter Syndrome

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Imposter Syndrome

In episode 24: Imposter Syndrome, I unpack what imposter syndrome is, how to recognize if you have it, and what you can do to overcome it. And if you’re ready for imposter syndrome to stop holding you back and stealing your joy, we are focusing on overcoming imposter syndrome for all of August in the in the Mind Body Free Community. Sign up for your free trial at the link below and join us in saying goodbye to imposter syndrome so you can create and live a life you love!

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Full Show Transcript

00:00:00
Hello and welcome to the mind-body free podcast, where you will find all things healing and awakening, from evocative conversations to guided meditations to incredible insight on how to heal and regulate your nervous system, how to heal your soul and come into wholeness, and how to tap into your limitless potential and follow your purpose in this world. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I am a healer, mentor and coach trainer. I’m here to support the healing and awakening of life on earth by helping you to remember the magic of who you truly are. Thank you for being here. I hope you enjoy the show.

00:01:00
Hello friends, how are you doing today? Personally, I’ve just gotten over COVID, which was an interesting journey, being my first time experiencing that. Fortunately for me and my husband it wasn’t too severe. I still feel like a little bit of recovery on one day. It’s probably going to take a couple more weeks before I get everything out of my lungs. But overall I’m doing ok and happy to have my energy back and really happy to be full of antibodies for the next few months. So go lick some doorknobs, not really, but I could, but I won’t so anyway, I want to talk to you guys today about something that is an affliction that is so widespread and so unnecessary, an I’m talking about impostor syndrome, and impostor syndrome is this feeling, this nagging feeling, this voice in the head, this belief that you are going to get found out as an impostor, as a fraud, as someone who is not deserving of being in this role, this job title being perceived in this way? It’s like underneath. There’s a part of you that’s afraid you’re going to get found out, that your going to be seen and deemed unworthy or not good enough to be doing what you’re doing or even what you want to be doing? 

So impostor syndrome, how it shows up in your life. It could be you are already doing something you want to be doing and that you love, but you don’t feel like you deserve it or like you belong or like you’re going to be able to keep doing it, like you feel like you’re going to be found out. Another way it can show up is preventing you from even stepping into attempting to get that promotion or do that work you really love, or maybe take a training to become someone else, something else. You know it your career to do something that’s more purposeful. It can prevent you from doing that and it can show up as avoidance, as you know, thinking about it, thinking a lot about it, but then just not taking action or getting really close and finally getting that big break that you want. Maybe you’ve been trying to get a certain kind of writing gig and you make a contact and it could make a lot of changes for you. But then you don’t follow-up it’s this sort of self sabotaging behavior that is a symptom of impostor syndrome. 

I hear it talked about quite a bit quite prevalent and it’s talked about in a way that would assume that it’s just an affliction like some sort of incurable disease. I laugh at that because it’s not. It’s incurable and it’s a common thing that so many of us deal with. But you can a 100% absolutely break through it and it doesn’t have to take years to do that. So the reason we have in poster syndrome is quite simply on a subconscious level, beginning very likely from childhood. We don’t believe that we are good enough and not feeling good enough is a very, very common thing. So when we are younger, when we’re little children, we don’t have the ability to rationalize. So we perceive the way others behave as a reflection of our own value. So if we’re little and someone isn’t around, say our parents are busy working or absent or dealing with their own struggles, not there to give us the care and attention that we crave, our minds subconsciously would could deduce that they’re not around. They’re not around because I’m not enough. 

I’m not enough for them or I’m not good enough. I didn’t get chosen for the soccer team because I’m not good enough in that moment. Boom, a subconscious belief is formed. Not good enough, not enough, and that hangs out in the subconscious in the background, where we’re not even consciously thinking about it. It hangs out in our subconscious mind throughout our whole life, until we go and update that belief from when we were very young. So most of us are walking around with beliefs that we formed about our own identity from the time we were four or 56 younger, even babies. It might be worth while to update those beliefs. They could use some improvement, and how we do that is through going into the subconscious. There’s something called hypnosis, which is just becoming very relaxed and very aware. We go into the subconscious and in your subconscious you have stored every experience you’ve ever been through. All of your memories are stored there and all of your core beliefs around your own self-worth your place in the world, about the world at large. 

All of these very, very poor, hugely influential beliefs are stored in your subconscious mind and how we shift those as we go back to the moment of their creation through the subconscious mind. Your mind is able to access those memories safely and easily with proper guidance, and we go back there and we find that part of you that younger you who didn’t feel loved or cared for or wanted, or enough or worthy or good enough. We find that younger and we gave them love and we explain to them that of course they are enough. We all are. Just because no mom or dad was busy at work, didn’t mean that they weren’t enough, didn’t mean that they weren’t loved and wanted, or just because their older brother was really good at sports doesn’t mean that they’re but they’re not also full of incredible gifts in this world that they could create and do and be whoever they want. 

So as the adult we have the compassion and understanding as the inner child. We are in a place where we don’t we can’t rationalize and we often get caught in the past with these beliefs, these painful experiences that form these beliefs. So we go back to that moment of the past as the loving adult and bring healing to the inner child and we remind them that you are enough. Of course you are anyone who has a child or a niece or nephew or you know someone in their life they care for, or even a fresh baby. You would look at their eyes, look into their eyes and you would never see that baby is not good enough. You would never say that baby is an impostor. It’s ridiculous, but yet we hold on to these beliefs from when we’re very young and we allow them to have massive influence in our well being and in our lives. These subconscious beliefs form the thoughts that form the behaviors and emotional responses that cause us the self sabotage that caused us to not go for what we really want in life. 

They cause us to play small and to keep ourselves small, but they don’t have to. It’s not necessary. So in order to overcome an impostor syndrome, we need to access the part of us that doesn’t believe we are enough or that we’re good enough. We need to go back to the inner child, we need to bring them healing, and that is how we step through. That’s how we step into our truth, the truth being that you are, you always have been, and you always will be more than enough, and there’s nothing that can change that. We never look at a tree in the forest and say it’s not good enough. We never look at our, our animal companion or dog or cat or something else and say they’re not good enough. That’s it’s preposterous and it’s equally preposterous to say that about ourselves or each other as human beings. We are all worthy of being here. We are all worthy of following our dreams and our passions, of figuring things out. So if this is something that you have struggled with, this feeling of being an impostor, of feeling afraid, you’re going to get found out and deemed unworthy of self sabotaging behavior, where you don’t take action to get that promotion. Follow that big win, even in a healthy relationship, if you start sabotaging that, if you find your relationship that isn’t loving and nurturing and kind, and these are all symptoms of a subconscious belief, that’s not true. And the good news is you 100% can update those beliefs and I can help you. So that leads me to next month, August, we have a new theme in the mind-body free community. 

It’s a membership community that you can join for 30 days free of charge and get access to four incredible healing classes. So we’re all about overcoming Imposter Syndrome in August, when you come and when you join, you can come and be part of this immersive, incredible healing group experience, where we go back and we heal up part of our younger self and we bring in love. We bring in the truth, knowing that we’re enough and we integrate that part of ourselves back into holiness with the rest of us, and that frees you to then have this incredible confidence and esteem, knowing that you’re enough exactly as you are, and from there you can create and do anything from a place of already feeling worthy.

Because knowing you’re worthy doesn’t make you less effective. It doesn’t take away an edge, I have heard some people say. Not feeling good enough gives me an edge to push more and do more. That’s bullshit. I’m sorry, but it is not feeling good enough stops you from seeing the deeper purpose and path in your own life. It stops you from moving forward on that path. You can end up grinding and grinding away and sabotaging left-right in the centre and then getting more, but still not feeling satisfied with what you’ve worked so hard to create. Because if you don’t feel like you, you are enough inside. Nothing outside of you is going to make you feel like it’s enough. Nothing outside of you is going to be enough period. The only way to feel enough to feel satiated, to feel fulfilled is inside. It’s looking at what’s going on within you and healing those parts of you that don’t feel whole. So that’s something that you would like to do so that you can create a life you live and actually enjoy it. Then come and join us. We are having our next healing transformation session on overcoming impostors syndrome on Thursday, August fourth, and it’s going to be an incredible experience. We have more classes throughout the month, Janet Lee is going to be teaching therapeutic Gong, which is all about healing the body, integrating what we experience and feeling more energy, more strength, more vitality, more clarity that she’s teaching every couple of weeks. And then I’m going to be doing a follow-up class integrating all of this incredible transformation that we go through. 

So I hope to see you there. The community is a place for people who are sensitive, for people who want authentic connection, people who want to grow exponentially, to heal and let go of all of these things that kept them. Being small, community is for you. If that’s what you’re looking for and you can learn more at mine, body free dot com, you can sign up for a free 30 day. Incredibly, you will also find a beautiful, heart centered community there and lots of healing resources. So I encourage you to come check it out, realize that you can do anything you want to do, you can be anyone you want to be, you can create a life. You love and actually enjoy it. We’ve seen lots of people who create abundance and wealth and who are successful, quote on quote, based on the idea of having lots of financial wealth. However, a lot of them, you can tell, are unhappy. They’re always trying to make more. They’re not being kind to other people. It’s all about making more and more and more and more, because they don’t believe inside that they are enough, and so we don’t have to partake in that insanity. We can find freedom from that trap.

00:13:56
And the way you do that is always inside. It starts in you, so I hope to see there. If you have any questions to me, a comment you can send me. You can find me on Ingram and facebook at your mind-body free, and I would love to hear from you. I’d love to hear impostor syndrome shows up in your life and I love you to think about what would be available to me if I didn’t have that. What would letting go impostor syndrome make available to me? How would my life be different? I’d love you to start thinking about that, because that’s going to start opening up a whole new, incredible world for you. Okay, so go to my body free! Dotcom sign up for the 30 day free trial. Mister for the event and if you can’t make it live, that is okay. You can watch the replay within the community, but you have to join the community to access the replay. I can’t wait to see you there. It’s going to be incredible and together, let’s grow, evolve and realize our limitless potential.Learn more about our healing community for highly sensitive people here.

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23- Abundance

Episode 23 Create Abundance
Create Abundance Abby Taylor

Abundance

In episode 23: Create Abundance, I share my journey of releasing my abundance blocks and the incredible changes this created in my life. I also share how I did it, how you can get started, and a FREE event coming up on July 9th!

Join the Mind Body Free Community:
mindbodyfree.com

Connect with Abigail
Instagram @yourmindbodyfree
Facebook @yourmindbodyfree
Tiktok @yourmindbodyfree


 

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Looking for more support?
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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:01) Hello. Welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I help highly sensitive people heal in mind, body, and spirit so they can connect with their purpose and share the gifts that are so needed in this world. And I’m here to talk to you today about abundance, money, wealth, the energy of it, the flow of it, or the lack thereof. Money and abundance are concepts on the other side of scarcity. And it’s such a prevalent thing that I see in the world, and especially in communities, among artists, and healers. It can be this starving artist mindset or starving monk mindset. And I’ve been through that when I grew up. I’ve done a lot of work on this.

Abby (00:00:55) Growing up for me, I inherited all kinds of limiting beliefs around money. Like there’s never enough and just a lot of fear around, I don’t know what to do. We don’t have enough. It’s never going to be enough. Just a lot of feelings of insecurity around that. And so I grew up with that belief and I made just enough for myself. I may have just enough to get by, but never too much or more than enough. And sometimes I felt like not enough, even though they’re always actually enough. And eventually, I was doing some journeying and connecting with my purpose, my future self, and what I wanted to create in the world, the life that I wanted to have. So I had written out this life that I wanted for myself, and as I was looking at it, I realized I’m going to have to make more money to create this life.

Abby (00:01:55) And to make more money, I’m going to have to do some work on this. I’m going to have to do some inner work because the outer world is a reflection of the inner world. And so as I continued doing more training and building out my skills with hypnotherapy and other techniques and tools, something that I focused on to heal within myself was my blocks to abundance, because it got to a point where it was stressful, where I was feeling limited in doing the training that I wanted to do and traveling to places I wanted to go and upgrading my kitchen, living in a part of the city that I felt safe and comfortable in and inspired in.

Abby (00:02:40) I wanted to do all of that, but I felt restricted by money. So I did some work on it. I received some hypnotherapy sessions. I went through this immersive course where I listen to these recordings to clear away abundance blocks, and I listen to these sorts of recordings for about eight months. And I would go to bed and I put the recording on. I would close my eyes and I would just clear and clean and clear so much, so many blocks that I had and my body would shake. Sometimes tears streamed down my cheeks and I was just part of the release, just energetically letting it go from not only my subconscious mind but also from my body. And so when I did that, things started changing, my business started growing, I started having these amazing referrals coming in and it gave me the momentum to then do more work in my business, to then be more visible.

Abby (00:03:43) It just gave me a sense of confidence and esteem that I needed at that time to build my practice. And with that, more and more things started changing and leading to today where I’m teaching people to become healers. I have a coach training program, and I have a membership program where people can come and heal, which I’m excited to speak about later. But a lot has changed. We moved my husband and me and our dogs to a part of the city that is beautiful. That is right next to a huge forest, which is exactly what we wanted to be near nature. And now we can walk into those forests every day. It is right across the street. We live in a home that we love. It’s a beautiful home and I feel inspired every time I wake up in it.

Abby (00:04:32) And I love having friends and family fill it up. So life is very different now and I’m grateful that I did that work to clear away those abundance blocks because on the other side of those blocks is infinite possibility, where anything is possible, where I learned how to create, what I want to manifest, what I want in my life, and to let go of what I don’t want. So I do believe that as we let go of those limiting beliefs and energetic blocks from our mind and body and spirit and open up to receive the abundance around us and realize the abundance that flows within us and through us and from us, then we are able to not only be happier and live a life that feels more aligned with our values and joys. But I feel we’re also able to be of greater service.

Abby (00:05:33) And this one’s important to me because I’m a healer and I want to help a lot of beings in this world while I’m here. And I know that for me, the more that abundance that flows into my life, the more that I can then support and be in service. It enables me access to resources and coaches and education that then allows me to grow my practice and help others in an even bigger way and support even more people. So it’s a really beautiful thing. It’s a flow in and a flow out. Just like everything in life. With every inhale, there is an exhale with every gift that we also receive. And some people are good at giving, and some people are good at receiving, but it needs to go back and forth. It needs to be a flow. And that’s the balance that the harmony that we come into. And abundance is a part of that and money is a part of that, too.

Abby (00:06:31) Money and energy. It’s a form of energy, and it’s the kind of relationship that we have with it. So if you think about money as a person, what kind of relationship do you have with money? Is it something that you think about? Is it something that you worry about? Is it something that you think is the root of all evil or never around enough? I need to grab, hold onto it and just really try to grasp it. Do you think about money if a person wouldn’t want to hang out with you? You know, if you take it out to dinner, are you cool? Are you needy? Are you standoffish? Are you resentful? What’s that relationship like? If you want to have more of that relationship if you want them to be money, to be more present in your life. We want it to be a happy, beautiful relationship based on understanding and appreciation.

Abby (00:07:29) If your relationship with money is not like that, hey, no judgment I. It wasn’t for me for most of my life. If you have some baggage around it, then I encourage you to look at that, to explore what are the thoughts that come up when I think about money. And you can write them down. Writing down thoughts is a great way to bring them into conscious awareness as well as get them out of your head. Sometimes just becoming aware of it is enough for it to dissolve, but it’s also a great step for beginning to release that. Some thoughts that can, you know, fly around with money is there’s never enough. It’s not available to me. Everyone else can make it, but I can’t. I’m not good enough, not worthy of receiving it. Money is the root of all evil.

Abby (00:08:20) It’s ego. It’s vain. It’s not good to want or care about money or think about money. People who have money are mean and bad. Oh, well, that’s why you think. Why would you ever want to do that? Right. So it’s just some thoughts that can fly around as far as beliefs and limiting beliefs and mindsets around money can be. This is a great space to begin getting awareness, and then we want to question those thoughts. Well, is it true that people that make money or bad can think of some good people to be Melinda Gates, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation? They’re doing some cool stuff. You know, maybe you can think of some other different people. Warren Buffett, incredible philanthropist, and the richest man in the world began to challenge those beliefs.

Abby (00:09:10) Is it true that there’s never enough? I mean, it seems like there’s a lot of money in the world. Hmm. Interesting. Look at those beliefs. Question them, bring them onto paper, bring them into your conscious awareness so that you can then question them. Otherwise, they just hang out in the subconscious mind. And even though we’re not thinking about them or aware of them, they really kind of run the show as far as our behaviors and feelings go. So if we have beliefs like that in the background, in our subconscious mind, they will actually cause us in ways to behave, that can self-sabotage, that cannot take action on the things that we kind of really want. It can cause us to hold ourselves back. And if you ever wonder why, why is it I’m always broke or why is it there’s never enough? Or How did I end up in this situation?

Abby (00:10:05) Again, I’m going to tell you, my friend, it is those subconscious beliefs. And the good news is that you can 100% clear and release them and step into empowering, freeing, expansive, abundant beliefs. I did. Lots of people do. You can do it. And if you would like some support with that, we have an event coming up in the mind-body free community. So I’m going to switch gears for a moment and I’m going to come back to that. So I want to tell you about the mind body free community. So it is a membership community that we have just launched and I’m so excited to share this with you throughout July. You can sign up to receive a free trial for 30 whole days, 30 whole days. That means you’re going to get access to four live events. Normally we do one event a week, but because last weekend was a holiday weekend, we have two back-to-back with me and then Jeanette Lee, who is going to be teaching qigong.

Abby (00:11:11) The mind-body free community is a place for highly sensitive people to come together to heal and mind body, and spirit with each other and discover our limitless potential. It is a beautiful, heart-centered space. We have weekly, live and recorded classes in case you can’t make it live. And there are healing resources there. There’s video exercises and hypnotherapy and shamanic journeys, audio recordings you can listen to, to grow and heal. And there are beautiful people there. If you would like to join, you can go to Mind-Body Free. Dot com. You can learn more about it. You can sign up there. And each month we have a new theme and the classes are going to be based around that theme. So July. Guess what an abundance month is?

Abby (00:12:07) And we’re going to be doing some amazing work on clearing away the limiting beliefs that held you back, stepping into the energy of abundance, the energy of money, transforming that to be a beautiful, liberating relationship so that you can stop feeling held back by money so that you can let go of money. Stress takes up so much bandwidth to be worrying and thinking about and stressing about money. And it’s not necessary. And when you’re thinking stressful, worrisome thoughts, that’s what you’re putting out to the world. That’s what you’re manifesting more of. So when you learn how to let those go, you start putting different things out to them, out into the world, and different things start coming back to you. So our abundance class, the first class, is coming up on Saturday, July 9th, and it’s going to be at 9:30 a.m. Mountain Daylight Time, if you can make it live.

Abby (00:13:03) Amazing. It’s going to be very powerful if you can’t still come to join the community and you can watch the record and you can still get an incredible full immersive experience that way, too. And the next day, because it’s going to be a special double event weekend, Jeanette Lee will be teaching qigong. She teaches a very therapeutic healing form of qigong that’s healing for the body. It helps you regain your energy, your sense of well-being, your sense of strength and wellness. So she teaches every other Sunday at 10:30 a.m. Mountain Time. And again, those classes are recorded. If you come in, you come in live. She’s really great at kind of tailoring things to what people need, so she’ll check in energetically with each student, find out where they’re at, and then she’ll really bring what’s needed most to that class.

Abby (00:13:57) So amazing, amazing value, you guys. And then I’m going to be teaching the following week. It’s going to be an integration call. When we come back, we do some more clearing and sharing about what kind of things came up around abundance. And we do some really beautiful work that will help you connect in the community. I’m so, so excited about this. I’m excited about helping you guys create more abundance in your life and let go of financial stress and worries. And I’m excited for you to be able to join this beautiful, heart centered community of highly sensitive people, of intuitive people, you know. And as highly sensitive people, we are wired differently. 20% of the population in humans and a bunch of other different species are nervous.

Abby (00:14:48) The system is wired differently where we take in more information in our nervous system and we’re more sensitive, which is a blessing. It means we have a heightened sense of awareness and when we learn how to navigate it, it can be a really powerful, beautiful thing. If you are somebody who works with people as a healer or teacher or guide in some way, or if you are a leader or a visionary or a writer, you have this ability to tap into an energetic flow of profound wisdom. And a lot of the only downside is that because we’re sensitive, we also take on more stuff, all the energy and the frenetic energy and chaos in the world, and that can be overwhelming and other people’s emotions and can be a lot.

Abby (00:15:37) So it’s really important as highly sensitive people to learn how to navigate this and release that from our nervous systems so that we can hear that inner wisdom and allow it to come through. So this is a community, guys, for you. It’s a community for highly sensitive people for RSPs to come together and heal and discover our superpowers because the world needs a lot of sensitive people. The world needs more healers, more visionaries, more creatives, because there’s messages and wisdom that wants to come through you at this time in the world where so much is changing and people are looking for guidance and support, abundance is happening all through the month of July. It is going to be amazing and amazingly, you can sign up for free for 30 whole days, only for the month of July.

Abby (00:16:34) So if you want to be a part of it, go to MindBodyFree.com. You can learn more about how it all works. You can click on join and you can sign up for a whole. And I would love to see you in class. I would love to support you and grow with you and have your energy part of our community. So thank you so much for listening. If you have any questions, you can reach out. I’m on Instagram and Facebook at your mind-body free and I would love to see you there. Wishing you endless abundance and infinite possibilities. Thank you so much. Talk next time.

 

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22-Renate Mueller

Episode 22 Renate Sophia Muller How to Launch Your Soulful Podcast
sophia ep 22 podcast banner

Renate Sophia Mueller

Renate Sophia Mueller is a Soulful Podcast Mentor, Energy Healer and Feminine Leadership Coach. She’s helping spiritual and heart centered women find their authentic voice and unleash their message with the world via a podcast, so they can make a massive impact and become a thought leader.

Connect with Renate:
Website: renatesophiamueller.com
Instagram: @renatesophiamueller

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:01) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss, and I’m so excited to have Renate Muller here. She is a soulful podcast mentor, an energy healer, and a feminine leadership coach. She’s helping spiritual and heart-centered women to find their authentic voice and unleash their message with the world via a podcast so they can make a massive impact and become thought leaders. I’m so, so happy to see more women stepping up and to see you empowering women’s voices. I feel like that’s so needed right now with this kind of the divine feminine essence that’s being called to come back and kind of bring the world into greater balance. And I’m just so thrilled to get to speak to you. So thank you so much for being here.

Renate (00:00:47) Rene Thank you so much. Abigail Yeah, I’m excited to be here and I can’t wait for where our conversation will go.

Abby (00:00:57) I know infinite possibilities. We were talking, we just realized. I just realize we went to the same little town in India and Hrishikesh to do our yoga teacher’s training. And you’re in Australia, but you spent some time in Revelstoke and Canada and it’s like, Oh, it’s such a small world that we live in. You just never know.

Renate (00:01:15). Yeah. I mean, what a coincidence that you know, the other end of the world right now. I’m in Australia, but we can connect with you. Yeah.

Abby (00:01:25) It’s magical. We live in the future. I love. So can you tell me a little bit? You’re a healer and you’re a podcasting mentor. Can you tell me a little bit about your journey of coming into this world of healing and empowerment?

Renate (00:01:40) Yes, for sure. So it’s always a funny question for me because I have no idea where to start sometimes. Because I kind of work.

Abby (00:01:49) Likes to tell the whole story. So if I’m going a bit too long, just let me know. Go for it.

Renate (00:01:55) Okay, perfect. So let’s say I go back even to my high school. I was a highly sensitive child. I always struggled with speaking my true fear, speaking up. I was like a little mouse. And I just wanted nobody to notice me at all. So I was trying to hide for almost my entire life. And then I think when I finished high school I traveled to New Zealand, so I kind of stepped out of my comfort zone. And when I started traveling and seeing the world I started to realize, wow, you know, there’s so much out there. And I became a bit more confident within myself because I feel like traveling really sets you up for the world out there and you just become mature in a way and you adapt quickly to difficult situations.

Renate (00:03:05) And then I was working as a flight attendant, so I was trying to get into uni and I didn’t get accepted at any university, and yeah, in Germany. And that was really surprising for me because all of my friends went to high school, went to university, I mean, and I just didn’t get accepted and I was wondering what, what’s going on? And I was applying for social work. And back then I wasn’t aware that so many people wanted to study social work and become social workers. So yeah, it was just so difficult to get into any university. So I thought, okay, I’m kind of like a loser in a way, you know, I can’t go to university, although I try to.

Renate (00:03:58) And for some reason that kind of. And, you know, I became just really low in myself and I just thought, okay, I would just go on with traveling, I guess because that’s what I love to do. And then I applied for some flight attendant jobs and I became a flight attendant eventually. And then I traveled the world for 1 to 2 years. But then I realized, okay, traveling the world is still not my thing. It’s not my biggest purpose in life. I was asking myself, what is the purpose of my life? And I just felt like doing the same thing over and over again. It didn’t suit me and my personality and I was always really more passionate.

Renate (00:04:57) I was always a really big thinker and I just thought, Oh no, I want to kind of change the world in some sort of way. And then I, I think 2018, beginning of 2018, I hit rock bottom and I just, you know, I came back from a long-distance flight and I was so tired, so exhausted. I didn’t want to have anyone around me anymore because I always had so many people on my flights. And it was just so, so exhausting. So really let me almost burn out. And I didn’t really realize what burnout was back then, so I just kept going. But deep within me, I knew I can’t go on with this forever.

Renate (00:05:47) And I did some yoga to balance me out. I did meditation back then, and that always helped me to connect with my spirit, with myself. And then I had this crazy idea What about becoming a yoga teacher? And that was adventurous, fought for me because I thought, How can I become a yoga teacher? I just did yoga for a couple of years and now I want to become a yoga teacher. And at first, I thought, Oh, it’s insane to do that and just quit my secure job in Germany. But then this fort became bigger and bigger and bigger and, I just quit my job. And I think it was in June. I quit my job and then I booked my flights to Rishikesh, India. And yeah, I went on this journey to India and did this yoga teacher training.

Renate (00:06:52) And India is so different from Germany. So for me, that was another, you know, stepping out of my comfort zone and really finding myself again. And yeah, India as well, was leveling me up in every yeah, every possible corner of myself in a way. And I became a different person on an emotional level, on a mental level, on a physical level. And then I find that I have healing abilities. And I was yeah, I didn’t know about that. I was always a natural healer and someone told me that I was doing a Reiki course in Canada then and I had a healing course. So yeah, it was for me like, Oh my God, this is a whole different world, the healing world, and healing other people.

Renate (00:07:56) And combining that with yoga, yeah, it was just perfect. And then yeah, I started my podcast when I was in Canada actually, so that was after my yoga teacher training. I started a podcast and it was another crazy thing where for who am I to do this? But another friend of mine did it and I was like, oh, I’m permitting myself now to do it. So I just did it anyway. And here I am right now, coaching people now how to do their podcast, I think four years later, and I actually can’t believe to say that to you. But yeah, I’m a podcasting mentor now and I’m a healer and I’m empowering women to do the same. So yeah.

Abby (00:08:47) So I love your story. I love that. And I can relate to so many things and I think a lot of the listeners will too. You know, when you said that when you were in school, like being highly sensitive like that, was that that term of highly sensitive people or I call them empaths, where it’s like 20% of the population, are wired differently. We just take on more in our nervous system. And I feel like it’s so easy to be overwhelmed as a highly sensitive and but on the flip side siders side of that is these gifts that we have like these naturally born healers and leaders and visionaries because we can tune into the subtle world as long as we can figure out how to tap into those gifts.

Abby (00:09:31) So and it’s I love that you dared to go from, like you describe, feeling like a mouse to go out and travel the world. And what an incredible difference that made. And I can 100% relate to that, just being so transformative because you have to problem-solve every day. There’s there is no comfort a comfortable little bubble when you’re traveling and there’s all of these new cultures and all these new, beautiful experiences and beautiful people. So it’s so phenomenal for growth. And I’m curious, was it scary for you to take that leap into beginning to go out and see the world and like embarking on that journey? What was that like?

Renate (00:10:16) Yeah, it was. You know, before I went on my travels, I had no idea. I had no idea what the world looks like, what other cultures are like, and that you can live a different life. So in Germany, we have a lot of structure and you know, you just go to university after your high school and then maybe you go on travels while you’re working and building a family. So there’s not a lot of space for creativity and doing things a bit differently. And I was always a person. I was so interested in, you know, different cultures and, you know, just getting out of your bubble and expanding yourself. So I was always trying to search for new ways of finding a new version of myself and finding new pathways which are not common. So I always wanted to be different. And it’s really interesting. I’m not sure if you know about human design the d if you’re into human design.

Abby (00:11:35) Oh, I love human design. I’m a is a projector I think. Yeah, yeah, I love human design.

Renate (00:11:43)
Renate: It seems like I actually think I found out about human design last year and I, someone read my profile and just made total sense. So I’m a manifesting generator. I’m a warm, multi-passionate being. And the thing is that lly born to always change my course, always to change the direction of my life, and not to be the same person that I used to be. And also in my business, I had to learn that too, like allowing myself to know to do different kinds of coaching and to integrate all of my self, all my passions in one business. And this is my niche. So sorry. Coming back to your question and I think just, you know, getting to know me more through my travels just helped me so much in my future.

Renate (00:12:45) And I think I can recommend that everyone if you kind of want to maybe change the direction of your life or you want to find yourself, you don’t know what to do. I recommend getting out of your comfort zone traveling. And I was in so many difficult situations because I feel like the universe throws you into challenging moments that you are here to solve. And when you solve them, you’re like, Oh my God. It was not that difficult. It was not that hard. And then you become more resilient and then then you just really create a really strong foundation for yourself. You create a very strong foundation.

Renate (00:13:31) You know, when you’re a woman, I feel like, especially when you are highly sensitive, you just want to be in your own bubble time and you want to hide and you don’t want to speak up. So, you know, getting out of your comfort zone and traveling and talking to different kinds of people and maybe speaking a different language, learning a new language, it just helps you so much with your confidence and your resilience. And it just I think it opens up new doors that, you know, you wouldn’t be the same person. You’re just not the same person any more than you were before. And then it just, you know, it creates a new life for you.

Abby (00:14:18) I love that. I love that. I was thinking back to you mentioned you were so disappointed that you didn’t get into university. And it’s funny, those things were you know, someone had said once were the saying where, you know, you didn’t get what you want, but it’s because the universe is something better planned. It’s like they don’t always see that perspective at the moment but in the greater picture. It’s interesting to look back and realize, Oh if I had gone, I would have been on a totally different path for you. Who knows where you would be right now? So it’s so cool to see what feels like, you know, does not feel like a blessing at a time. At the time can become that.

Renate (00:14:58) Yeah, no, it doesn’t feel like that at all. You’re just like, why? Why, why on earth does the universe put me down as a really difficult situation? Yeah, you know, it was so funny because of two months. Ago. It was I was put, I think, on purpose and in one of the most difficult situations. I’m not sure if you heard about the flooding in Australia, but we were staying at a rainforest retreat behind Mullumbimby and Mullumbimby is a hip place on the east coast of Australia and we went a rain forest and after one week of staying there it started to rain and we just thought, oh, it’s the wet season, you know, it’s normal that we get flooded in, you know, but it didn’t stop raining for an entire week and then it started to rain like crazy, like really, really hard rain.

Renate (00:15:56) It didn’t stop overnight and we become a bit anxious. We’re like, Is that normal? You know, we never experienced something like that before. And then I think it happened overnight that we had a power cut. We had no electricity for a couple of days, no Internet connection, and we even had a water shortage. The roads into town were all damaged and we were put in the situation, I believe, for reasons to become stronger, to become more resilient. But back then I was just like, why is this happening to us? Do you know? And then 300 meters down the road, there was a landslide and it took a person’s life away. And we’re like, Oh my God, that’s a natural disaster.

Renate (00:16:47) And literally and we’re like, you know, my part. And I was just like always wondering, why did we choose to come here? Because we do believe, you know, when you practice a lot of spiritual, spiritual practices or when you’re connected to source, you do become conscious of every action you do and of every person you meet. And you just realize that everything is connected really on this earth. And I do believe that and that it is sometimes our choice to that we create those situations for us. But as you said before, sometimes we think, you know, why is this happening to us? And it feels like hell on earth at that time.

Renate (00:17:37) And that’s so interesting because I feel like because I traveled so much in my life and I already had so many challenging moments in my life that I was already quite strong within me and I knew how to navigate myself through this really difficult situation of like staying calm, trusting in myself and, you know, really trying to be just this mountain to be present within me and to realize, alright, this bill, this too shall pass, it will pass and everything will be alright. And I was just so grateful that we were safe, that nothing happened to us. And luckily we lived in a community so we were all helping each other out. And it was incredible because the people from the Valley were all helping each other out. People brought us food from town, they brought us petrol. It was. It was mind-blowing. That was like humanity. Oh, my God. It was so, like?

Renate (00:18:49) I had tears In my eye. It was just wow. It was just so beautiful how people can work together in a crisis. And sometimes that needs to happen. A crisis needs to happen for us to come together and to make build new pathways. Yeah.

Abby (00:19:13) Yeah. That’s so beautiful. I couldn’t agree more. And it’s what I’m hearing is a couple of things. One, it sounds like resilience and the confidence that comes from that is a muscle, one that we gain by putting ourselves in these situations that are outside of our control. So we have to think on our feet and figure things out. And every time we do that, we get a little stronger, a little more confident in our ability to do that. And I love what you said, too, about, you know, why is this happening? But there is a reason for why. There’s always some reason and that coming together in community, I feel like I can relate a lot.

Abby (00:19:51) I’ve been doing a lot of personal healing and when I was younger I had all my walls built up to protect my heart. No one shall Pass. I was like Gandalf with a staff. That’s like, what? But then layer by layer, life found Way to help me break it down. And I had this like this illness or these physical issues I was having. And there was one time on the bus when I just passed out and I just prayed. I’m like, Oh, my God, it’s please, I don’t know what to do. And then before I knew what someone was saying, Hey, are you okay?

Abby (00:20:30) Somebody else was bringing me pop and some candy, and someone else was like rubbing this, like, pain medication on my face. And the Whole bus came together. To help this total stranger and remind you of what you’re saying. This community coming together, it’s just people can be really, truly amazing. And I think that in our hearts, we all are. It’s just given this opportunity to knock down the walls of this normal trance-like state that we can find ourselves in and remember what’s important, you know, taking care of each other. It’s such a beautiful thing to experience that.

Renate (00:21:04) Yeah. And it opened my eyes to what’s possible in the future. And, you know, I’m really about this new earth leadership and building a new Earth sometimes because it requires crisis, you know, otherwise, we won’t change anything. It just opened. Yeah, it opened my eyes that wow, you know, what’s happened was horrible was terrific and but people really, they stood together and help each other out. And then even in the town, they were opening up a healing space for people who are traumatized from this experience. And they offered free services.

Renate (00:21:49) And I was like, Oh my God, you know, how beautiful is this world? Because sometimes we just think that everyone is so egoistic and everyone is just thinking of themselves and nobody has a heart anymore. And this is just not true. I do believe that we all have a wonderful heart within us and sometimes, yeah, we build these walls around us because we think it’s not safe to be in this world. After all, we were hurt in the past, because of our trauma, because of the things that we have experienced, and based on that, we judge other people. But who are we to judge others? And it all starts with ourselves first. So to build also new earth, a new world, we have to establish ourselves first and create this new earth within us. So yeah.

Abby (00:22:54) I love that. Can you tell me more about New Earth leadership? What does that mean to you?

Renate (00:23:00) Yeah. So for me, new leadership means that we are not doing the things we used to do anymore. We kind of destroying the old ways of thinking, the old patterns, the Patrick patriarchy, I hope I pronounce it right of, you know this when people are just so into consuming and they all think it’s about materialism and buying new stuff, and I believe it, you know, to create a new earth, a new world is about, you know, looking within and healing yourself first, healing your wounds and stop hurting other people with your actions, with your force. Because what’s happening in the world and even right now, as we can see with we still having a war on earth, we’re still fighting each other.

Renate (00:24:10) We’re still kind of like little children. And this is all because we haven’t looked at our wounds. We haven’t looked at our traumas. We haven’t always looked at other leaders to lead us. And I think this is one of the mistakes that we are doing that we have done, that we’re always looking out for the answers to, always looking up for other people to lead us. But if you are stepping away from this whole old paradigm and stepping into a new way of thinking of like, wow, okay, I have everything in my control. I am the creator of my own life.

Renate (00:24:50) And when you just take self-responsibility for your actions, when you realize, wow, I chose this right now, I created this situation right now, and you, you really open your eyes more about, oh my God, when I say this to this person right now I have them and maybe traumatized. The rest of their life. So just it is about becoming more conscious. I do believe in this new earth movement. It is. It is it can be quite simple. And you can break it down to the foundation of becoming as conscious as possible as you can be as present as possible with all your thoughts. Your actions were everything you put out there. And when you worked on yourself, when you healed your wounds, you just you you know, you just are a different person. Your cells are changing and you are changing your vibration.

Renate (00:25:53) when you change your vibration, you do help others around you to change their energy and to change their vibration as well. And then you permit them to become a leader as well because when you can do it, others can do it as well. So it’s more about the focus within yourself, your consciousness, and then starting to create something that you want to see in this world. Maybe if you want to become a coach, become a yoga teacher, and maybe you just, you know, you stay in your job, but you become the most conscious person. You become the best person on this earth to do this job and you help others to do the same. So this is for me, all this new leadership. And I think when sometimes people hear that are like, what is this real? But it is quite simple. It’s just a shift in consciousness. Yeah, I hope that makes sense.

Abby (00:26:58) makes perfect sense. It’s beautiful. I kind of see it as like I hear that as like becoming a leader within yourself and letting it extend forward from there. And just this kind of radical ownership for you and me, I agree. You know, it’s there’s so much trauma around the world and there’s so much war that’s an extension of that, this unresolved pain. And I feel like there’s a calling for humanity to heal it like I see it coming out and all different kinds of themes in the media and just all of these concepts of healing trauma. And it’s just like the I think the subconscious collective psyche is asking for that. It’s time, especially with the pandemic and so many people having so much solitary time, having had so much solitary time with themselves.

Abby (00:27:48) A friend of mine had said, you know, going inward and being alone is a shamanic journey. And if you’re not sure how to navigate that, it can be really scary. But it can you can start facing all of these things that were hiding in the background that we didn’t, you know, we didn’t know were there. I’ll start showing up. So I almost feel like healing the trauma is like the entry point to that place of feeling powerful again. So, so much trauma happens when we’re young and we feel powerless to do anything about it. Being a healer yourself, what is your take on that?

Renate (00:28:29) So you mean healing the trauma? Sorry, I. The question.

Abby (00:28:34) Yeah. So how do you feel? The sense of empowerment and feeling capable and confident coincides with healing your wounds or getting help having someone help you heal your wounds?

Renate (00:28:49) Yeah. So. I think when you’re just by yourself, I think I just know that really from my own life. I think it’s also really a German way of doing things that you just want to solve everything by ourself and we want to heal ourselves first. We don’t want that someone else can help us to heal or to look into our past and stuff.

Abby (00:29:15) That’s very Canadian, too.

Renate (00:29:22) Well, I actually think that most people operate in the system. Like, I just can do it by myself. And it’s just really it comes actually from quite an ego space to think like I can do everything by myself. But also, you know, we were maybe so hurt from our past that we don’t want to let anyone into our lives and to, you know, we are really afraid to be vulnerable and to be seen. And we are so afraid to be vulnerable to be seen because we are afraid of being not liked anymore to being abandoned. And we have to look here also into this really deep fear that we have and these deep fears, those shadow sides, they can take control of your own life and they can stop you from your best possible life.

Renate (00:30:21) So I do believe in getting help and end to surrender into like, oh, my God, I can’t do this by myself. I do need someone else who, you know, we need another perspective. We need someone else. You can look at us not from this traumatized space or not even from our family perspective. We have to you know, we have to have someone you can look just, you know, of just like really innocent being in front of them. And we are innocent. You know this is our natural state. We are very pure beings, but we sometimes put so many layers on ourselves to protect ourselves, to protect our hearts. And when I started to start in 2018 before I went to my yoga course, I started a self-help course to look more within and heal more wounds.

Renate (00:31:26) And then I realized that was the best decision of my life ever. It was life-changing because I realized, oh, my God, I created all those situations and someone else, you know, I needed another perspective. And then I just, you know, I, I hired coaches my whole life and they just really helped me to empower myself. And I think sometimes we do need other people. Yeah.

Abby (00:31:57) Oh, my God. I could not agree more. I’m such a believer and receiving help. I don’t think there’s a single being on this planet that doesn’t work with someone else. We all are supported in so many ways by each other, directly or indirectly. And I feel like, yeah, we can get so caught in our own stories and pains to have somebody like a calm guide from the outside looking in. You can just take our hand and say, Hey, let’s, let’s go, let’s walk through this. It’s so, so transformative. I’ll probably work with coaches and healers for the rest of my life.

Renate (00:32:32) Yes. Because we do need them. You know, like if we just think we can do it all by ourselves, then again, it’s still in this old way of thinking, the old oh paradigm of like, oh, no, you know, it’s kind of like your inner child. It’s like, no, I can do it by myself.

Abby (00:32:51) And yeah, totally, you know, I do my way.

Renate (00:32:59) And, you know, just me as leadership. It is feminine. It comes from this divine feminine space like a community. And we can do this together. And by creating this new earth together, it’s, you know, you just feel so much more held and seen and you realize that, oh, my gosh, like it is safe to be seen. And I think that’s what we all come back to the safety within ourselves. Because if we can feel safe and we have this foundation within us, then, you know, anything can happen in the outside world, but we can stand still because we have this safety within ourselves and we’re like, Oh no, I’m okay right now, and no matter what happens, I will be okay. Yeah.

Abby (00:33:49) Yeah. That’s beautiful. And I feel like. For women, especially because throughout history we didn’t get to have a lot of voice and we didn’t get to be seen. And so it’s just so much deconditioning and ancestral deconditioning and collective deconditioning. Do you find that when you are coaching, when you’re doing your podcast coaching as well, do you see that a lot of this kind of fear of being seen?

Renate (00:34:17) Yeah, it’s the most common fear actually behind everything. So it’s really interesting because a lot of women come into my life and already established a business. But one of the biggest fears, I mean, they all say, is technology. But at the end of the day, it is the fear of being seen off, you know, and also of being rejected as well when they when they are seen. And I think this is such a common fear. I think that every woman has that when we speak up. And I think it is because of our conditioning, it’s because of what happened to women in the past, of our generational traumas, that we are not feeling safe to speak our truth because we feel like if we speak our thoughts right now, we are not safe. You’re getting abandoned. You know, and it also has it’s connected to that. We even got burned because people thought we were witches.

Abby (00:35:20) And been there in a past life. That wasn’t fun.

Renate (00:35:24) Wasn’t at all. And the thing. Is that it is still stored in our bodies and a lot of people are not aware of this. So, you know, as women we do we do have to heal a lot of these ancestral traumas and generational traumas also from the war times. And it’s just like getting activated in our bodies. And I think, yeah, especially right now too, with the war in Ukraine that, you know, a lot of people are like, Oh, I fought wars over and my grandparents lived in the wartime. But, you know, it still gets activated within them when they hear about the war in Ukraine and they get really, really anxious and traumatized again.

Abby (00:36:08) Yeah The pain still lives inside us. It’s in the body and the psyche and the spirit. It’s like the triggering of something that we’ve been through. We see it a lot when I work with women healers to something called the Witch Wound, like from the times when women were born, burned. And so a lot of people who have this, like, desire to heal in whatever way that is, it can be just physically terrifying, like induce a fight or flight response. So what do you find is the best way of overcoming that? Like, how do you help women move through that?

Renate (00:36:51) Yeah. So I think, first of all, it’s so important to regulate your nervous system. I think that’s one of the foundations of everything because if you don’t have a regulate the nervous system, you don’t know how to get out of this fight and flight response. And it is just really hard to, you know, to create a business even or to stay calm and situations. And because any little thing can be triggering for you and you just get in this race mode again. So by there are so many different things you can do to regulate your nervous system. I found Breathwork was super, super healing for me. It was one of the best ways to get out of my head, and back into my body. And yeah, it is amazing. And I have to say cold therapy as well. I love cold therapy. I started in Canada.

Abby (00:37:52) Because it was so cold. Oh, my God, that’s my excuse. Like, nobody in Canada is cold therapy. It’s good for you. Yeah, it’s awesome.

Renate (00:38:03) It was. It was so cold. I remember I was going into the Canadian legs and it was freezing. Oh, my God. Reasoning. I was like. I was screaming at the beginning because.

Abby (00:38:13) It was so much fun. Yeah, I believe it. I would be too so bad.

Renate (00:38:19) But then, I don’t know. I just get addicted to this feeling in my body because I never felt like that before. I mean, I did yoga for most of my life and I think that’s such a good mindfulness practice. But cold therapy is just like, oh, my God, you just, you know, you kind of stay in this hot water and you’re like, oh, my God, you think you’re going to die? But then you realize, ah, when you go out, it’s fine. I’m okay.

Renate (00:38:50) And it’s just. Yeah, it’s. Just a really good practice for your nervous system. I found, of course, not to overdo it because I overdid it a little bit at the beginning too, and then I just stayed cold for the rest of the day and I don’t recommend that. So know your limits as well. That is important. But yeah, really, you know, these practices of being mindful also with your speech and what you’re saying, what you’re thinking about yourself, how you talk. And I think that can change a lot when you realize what kind of things you’re saying and then you try to yeah, you changing your mindset here that you are safe to speak and you can practice that by recording yourself.

Renate (00:39:46) And I have women to start to on podcasts because I found this is one of the best ways to become confident with your speech, to become confident with yourself because you don’t have to show your face. A lot of people are terrified by that. And that’s what I found, too. You know, you just have to put yourself in front of this microphone and nobody has to know how many times it takes you to record yourself at the beginning. But yeah, that helps me. And I think also chanting mantras helped me help me the most to activate my voice and to come out of my head and back into my body.

Renate (00:40:34) Those, you know, when you chant those mantras, they come from ancient India, and they. I carry this sacred sound and it changes your cells. And it’s just it’s such a beautiful feeling when you go to kilotons when you have the chance to go to town somewhere in your local town and your local city. And it is just really, really amazing. I’m going to get myself a harmonium to practice more singing and to activate my voice even more. And yeah, I think, yeah, first of all, it’s the foundation about yourself and then getting into practices. Yeah.

Abby (00:41:23) That’s beautiful. I went to a couple of curtains recently and it is there’s so much power in just tuning in with the frequency and this ancient-like meaning and sounds coming together. And I love what you said about Breathwork. I have a friend on the previous episode we talked about Breathwork and cold therapy. I should connect you with her.

Renate (00:41:42) Both and so transformative. And what I love about that and when you said building the foundation with the nervous system because I feel like things like Breathwork and things like cold therapy, help us face and release the trauma stored in the nervous system. And we can’t think our way out of that. We have to feel our way through it, I believe, anyway.

Abby (00:42:07). Yeah. You have to feel, you know, and I think that’s what women are resisting because, you know, we’ve been told in our past, don’t cry anymore. No, no, no, no, no, don’t, don’t scream. Don’t do anything. So what I did, was I just kept quiet when I felt really angry within myself. I, you know, I didn’t cry at all. And then when I became much more conscious about myself and also when I became a healer, I noticed how much more I cried. And I was like, Why do I cry now? But then I realize it’s healing. Now I’m back to myself and I realized that crying is beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with that. And yeah, really getting in touch with your feelings and also I think dancing. I think, yeah, that’s something that I want to say as well. Some embodiment practicing practices like dancing can also really help to release your emotions. That did a lot for me as well.

Renate (00:43:18)  I love dancing so much. Yeah, and I love crying. I feel so alive. It’s like.

Abby (00:43:22) Oh, I found some.

Renate (00:43:24) Tears. They get to be expressed.

Abby (00:43:26)  Thank goodness I feel so good.

Renate (00:43:29) So the expressions from your soul, you know, it’s your you know, it’s like a cleansing of the soul. We just think it’s bad and we just change ourselves. But there’s nothing wrong with it.

Abby (00:43:44) Oh, it’s beautiful. And, you know, talking about being seen, I feel like what a beautiful way to see yourself. Something that wants to be expressed.

Renate (00:43:54). Yeah.

Abby (00:43:56) I love that. And so can you tell me a little bit more about what is it like working with you in doing this podcast coaching and the healing work? Like, what does that look like?

Renate (00:44:09) Yeah. So I offer one-on-one podcast coaching and that goes usually for eight weeks and I help them to set up their podcast. I have to move everything. I edited their first episodes and I kind of walked them through my practices. We do voice training. We look a bit deeper into the story and also into their unique message. Because I do feel like when you have a refined message and it will be just so much easier to get attention and to be also more crystal clear about what you’re talking about and who you are at your core.

Renate (00:44:52) And so your message is always really connected with your soul path, I believe. And that’s where human design comes in. So our plan blends a little bit of human design and my coaching as well. And, and yeah, we do some chanting practices and then I also have a group program and it’s called Launch Soulful Podcast. And within eight weeks or less than eight weeks, I have them, you know, first setting up this foundation of also owning their story, finding the why and mission and why they want to do this podcast, and also to create this future vision. And they can connect with yeah. With their future. And realize, okay, why do I do all of this?

Renate (00:45:46) Why do I start this podcast right now? Because your vision will carry you a long, long way when you know why you’re doing all of this. And we’ll just help you to keep going with your podcast and Jen and all the podcast tech. That’s its section and how to set it up on a podcast host. And but I do love to do all those spiritual practices before I do, I just love the combination of all. Yeah.

Abby (00:46:17) I love that. I love it, it’s like everything you will need from the inner to the outer. Like from your soul to your tech.

Renate (00:46:24) It’s like the boundaries are just the walls are getting knocked.

Abby (00:46:27) Down so you can create it. And I love that you incorporate that vision and that is why and honing, helping them to hone their voice and what makes them unique that’s so beautiful and so powerful.

Renate (00:46:38) Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And especially, you know, working through all of those fears of being seen or being hurt and that it’s it is safe for us all to be heard and that our podcast will create a change in this life. And I believe there will be never enough podcasts out there. It’s the same with reading books or authors. There will be never enough authors out there. There’s always enough. When you’re shifting into this abundance mindset that you know there will be no competition, there’s much more collaboration possible.

Abby (00:47:20) I love that. And I was listening to your podcast intro, which I love. That was so many moments. I was like, Yes, yes, yes.

Renate (00:47:27) And and one.

Abby (00:47:30)  Part that I loved was when you said you have something to give and you know, because you’re alive. And I think a lot of women can feel that they don’t have something special to share or their voice is not worth sharing. And like, oh, what a heartbreaking thought, because they do and they’re gifts. Everyone’s gifts are so needed right now, especially the feminine way of being that, you know, the deep wisdom. I feel like it’s wanting to come back. So I love that you are helping to empower these people to share that with the world. It’s really beautiful.

Renate (00:48:06) Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And we do need to cut all this karmic baggage. We have to need this cut. We have to cut this comic cord through to our past and realize, you know, at this moment right now, we have a choice and we can create our life new. We can become a new person. Our past doesn’t determine our future. We always have a choice right now. And you can start right now and it’s never too late. You’re never too old to start anything. And you always have something to give. You always have something to share because why? Why would you be on this earth right now? With us now?

Abby (00:48:50) Yeah. Yes, love. It can give you a big high five from over here. That’s so beautiful. And I couldn’t agree more. Right. How can people find you if they want to work with you and learn more about you?

Renate (00:49:06) Yeah. So you can find my Instagram. I’m active on there. I’m called renatesophiamueller. So just my first, my middle, and my last name. Mirella is with you and then you can find me on Facebook. Renate Mueller But yeah, Instagram is where I mostly hang out and I have a link tree, so I have all the different links on there and my website is coming out as well. It’s called renatesophiamueller.com, so it’s super easy to find me, and yeah.

Abby (00:49:41) I love That. Thank you. That’s so great. And everyone goes check her out and go get your voice out there. The world needs that. So yeah. Thanks so much for being here or not.

Renate (00:49:51) Oh, you’re so welcome. Thank you so much. It was such a lovely conversation. I loved everything and thank you.

 

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21-Davina Palik

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Davina Palik

Davina Palik completed the Mentorship program last year and she shares with us her journey of healing, stepping into her medicine, and moving with her family from Quebec, Canada to Samara, Costa Rica, where she and her partner Daniel guide people through transformative breathwork sessions.

Connect with Davina:
Website davinapalik.com
Instagram: @davinakudish


 

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind-Body Free Podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss, and today I am here with a friend who I’ve gotten to know from two different worlds, both photography and now healing too. So I’m with Davina Palik today, and she is a Breathwork facilitator, a journaling coach, and a retired destination wedding photographer. She’s the proud author of exactly one child’s book holder of a Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism, a mindful mama writer, share and path feminist, humanist, humanist.

Abby (00:00:33) Ask the recovering, perfectionist, creative, and storyteller. She shares her journey, which has included everything from journaling to breathwork to plant medicines, to show others that they can heal. She values vulnerability and authenticity and is called to hold a safe space to create and isn’t constantly expanding her toolbox to do this. Davina lives in Costa Rica with her partner Daniel, her son Max, and her daughter, Charlie. Welcome, Divina. Thank you for being here. Thank you.

Davina (00:01:05) Very excited to be here.

Abby (00:01:07) Yes. And this is so cool because we used to know each other in the world of wanting photography, like for so long ago. It seems like now. Yeah. Like another lifetime. And now you are living in another part of the world. Now you are doing this beautiful, healing work with your partner, Daniel. Tell us a little bit about your journey. What brought you here from where you were before?

Davina (00:01:41) My goodness, what a question.

Abby (00:01:45) All little questions today. Yeah.

Davina (00:01:48) Oh, my. I don’t even know where to begin. So many things. I mean, I had I kind of grew up with this big wound that needed healing. I think it was I was the I was sexually abused as a young girl. And I think I just. It’s my whole life. Part of my mission was to heal from that, and I think I just didn’t know it or didn’t consciously realize that. But so much of what? Presented itself in my life or was a result of these wounds. And yeah, I. I did a lot of healing without even consciously realizing it, but. Eventually through. Other things, I guess in life I realized I got into healing more intentionally, I guess.

Davina (00:02:43) As things came up and I was seeking something. Something more, something deeper. And I had struggled with depression for a long time. And I was looking for. More than just being on medication and that kind of found spirituality and ayahuasca through that and then eventually breathwork and that journaling was a big tool for me. So I used a lot of that and just kind of picked up all these tools along the way and eventually moved to Costa Rica, which was unexpected, but kind of I felt very called to this place and ended up here.

Davina (00:03:24) So the journey continues. We’re in a place now where people say that the town where we live called Samarra is a place where people come to heal. And again, I didn’t move here knowing that, but I see it in the people that I meet, people who are on similar journeys, the types of offerings that other people have intuitive folks who are meeting here who are helping me heal as well. And so yeah, that’s the overview, I guess. Yeah.

Abby (00:03:59) Yeah. Oh, man. And, and it’s wild because we were chatting a bit before and I was mentioning how last time we met like this online, just the two of us, it was like just before the mentorship started.

Davina (00:04:16) And it must have been about a year ago.

Abby (00:04:17) You’re still.

Davina (00:04:18) Doing.

Abby (00:04:19) About a year ago. Yeah. Yeah. And now you’re. You move from Montreal to Samarra. I didn’t know that. It’s a place people come to heal. That’s beautiful. It’s like, almost. Go ahead.

Davina (00:04:33) No, it’s something one of my friends who’s been here for ten years told me. She says there’s kind of like this energy here and that people come to feel.

Abby (00:04:46) Do you think that there’s like a calling for that right now in the world?

Davina (00:04:51) Yeah. I think I’m proof of that. I think. I didn’t think through the mentorship with you. One of the big lessons I received was that from my higher self essentially was that I had medicine to offer. And I remember having so much resistance to that being like, What do you mean? I don’t have any medicine to offer. I’m not special in any way. And then I got comfortable sharing more and more, and I use Instagram to share my experiences have been. And I’ve shared my healing journey from the sexual trauma on my website. And the more I share, the more people reach out to me with their own stories or just looking for someone to connect with.

Davina (00:05:44) And it’s almost every day that I have a message in my inbox from somebody who’s like, just relates to something that I’ve shared who just wants to connect or wants to share their own thing or wants to run something by me sometimes, you know, just it’s incredible. And I think I see it from these people who reach out to being and how much healing is a collective thing that we are searching for healing. And there are so many beautiful ways to do that. It doesn’t have to be just one road. And hopefully, I can show people that there are different tools and you don’t have to go to the Amazon and drink Ayahuasca either. So that is a marvelous tool. So yeah, it’s I see that there is indeed a need and I’m encouraged by how much people are seeking their healing and taking it into their own hands. And I think it’s something that we need.

Abby (00:06:43) Yeah. Did you feel? Like. As you mentioned, you’ve been sharing a lot of your journey and your healing path. And I remember, you know, not that long ago and still, sometimes it’s almost like there can be this feeling of taboo around not being like fully feeling fully perfect all the time. And I don’t know a single person that does this like shame around the concept of mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Did you find that it took courage for you to share, or is that something you were always comfortable with?

Davina (00:07:24) It’s a good question and I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on it now. I kind I think in a way I’ve always been comfortable sharing. Especially when it came to what happened to me as a child. It was some of the other things, maybe. Ways that I still struggle with things or that stuff that I. Feel is harder or has been harder to share. I put in my bio that I’m a recovering perfectionist and it’s something I struggle with a lot is like, what if I’m not seen as perfect? And I feel like the sexual trauma was always like, apart from me, in a way, separate from me. Like it was something that had happened to me, but that I didn’t feel like.

Davina (00:08:17) You know, I, I felt comfortable sharing it for that reason, I guess, whereas like the workings of my, into my inner mind and the ways maybe that it affected me, I would have been a little bit more hesitant to share because of how they might reflect on me, you know? Yeah. And even today, I have moments where I’m like Am I being in mine? Am I trying to protect some part of myself by not sharing this? And is it worth exploring that? And is it worth opening up to the world about this? Because someone could relate. And I feel like that is my medicine is being like, here I am and you’re welcome in this space, too. And if you relate to this, you’re not alone. Yeah.

Abby (00:09:04) That’s beautiful. And it’s. I’m sorry. Go ahead.

Davina (00:09:07) No, I was just thinking about how you had said one time, like, all of me is welcome here. That was or all of you are welcome here. I feel like this came up in our mentorship. And it’s something I journaled about the other day and it came out, like, quite beautiful. I think I’m getting ready to share that one soon about how I’ll. Yeah, all of me is welcome here. I can face all these parts of me, the ugly parts, the spiritual parts, the parts that I think I’m supposed to be over by now. Surely I know better than this. And guilt. Shame, you know.

Davina (00:09:42) Greediness, like the stuff that’s the stuff that’s harder for me to share because it’s, you know, it’s the. The shadow parts, you know, but are harder to admit to. But the more we do that and in safe spaces and for me even publicly owning that I think there’s a lot of power in that. And they kind of that’s how you shed light on it and also how you connect to others who can relate.

Abby (00:10:13) Yeah, I think so too. I think that’s it’s wise and it’s really brave to do that. And it’s, you know when I think about social media and how it’s like this so often this highlight reel of the best version of ourselves and all of these apps to transform the way we look. And it’s like it feels like the antidote to that. Like just how real can I be in something I like that you mentioned could it help someone relate I like that as a question as like could this help someone relate and what they’re going through to feel less alone or with where they’re at? And was it Brené Brown that said, we all have shame and the less we talk about it, the more we have? And it’s just taking the shadow and bringing it. Yeah, we can bring the shadow into the light then. It may not be as scary as we once thought it was. It just takes some brave people to be the first to do that. And then someone else can say, Hey. Oh, yeah, me too. Oh, I thought that was just me. It wasn’t just.

Davina (00:11:17) Me.

Abby (00:11:19) Yeah. So you mentioned plant medicines. I’m sorry. Go ahead.

Davina (00:11:25) No, sorry.

Abby (00:11:25) We have a bit of a delay.

Davina (00:11:26) It’s probably my Costa Rica Internet.

Abby (00:11:29) Oh, do we? That’s okay. That’s a good trade-off for being an amazing place. You had mentioned plant medicines being part of your healing journey and also how there are other ways to kind of access these healing states. Can you tell me a bit about what plant medicines were like for you and what you found afterward to continue healing?

Davina (00:11:57) Yeah. So for me, it was I who went in with so much fear. So much fear and the experience shed light on how much fear I have had and have around a lot of different things, trying new things, losing control. The list goes on and on. So that was one of the big, big lessons that I got from ayahuasca. I also got to see how far I had come on my healing journey with regards to the sexual abuse in that I got to heal. I had an experience where I witnessed the house where all of this had taken place. I was kind of floating above it and I got to with my love. And at first, it was very scary and it was like tightening around me. The energy felt very scary. And then. I realized that I had the power to release it and to give it love and to. It was in my control, essentially. And so I started giving love to the space and a garden, and I started visualizing this garden, growing over it.

Davina (00:13:13) And it was just beautiful, wild vines. And I just got to watch my masterpiece, what my love and my forgiveness and my intention of setting the space free, what I had been able to do. And that was just like one of the first things I experienced on the first night. One of the other nights, I got to see myself as a young child sitting on the couch with my grandfather while he was abusing me. The scene that I replayed in my head so many times is something that happened many times in my childhood, and I was witness to that. And instead of feeling sorry for my child self, I kind of was like, I know she’s going to be okay. And like, she’s, she’s good. Like, she’s got this. And then I saw him and felt compassion for him.

Davina (00:14:09) And to me that was huge. It just showed me how far I had come through all these other things I’ve done in my life to bring healing. To this event. And. That specific moment showed me that I had. Reached something very difficult to reach, which is to have compassion for the person who hurt you most. So that was a powerful experience. And. A lot of other stuff. I could probably go on for like four or 5 hours about all the things that happened during that week. But when I did that with medicine, when I came back, it was very difficult. Like I will say, I was not prepared for how hard it was. I went through like really tough depression, one of the hardest I’ve ever experienced. And I felt like I was still broken and something was wrong with me.

Davina (00:15:09) And Daniel was like, we had gone together and he was just I’ve never seen him so, like, elated and high on life and attracting all this beautiful energy and connection with people. He was just it was obnoxious to me about how great he seemed compared to how I felt that I was doing. And I was like, Would you please stop smiling all the time, you know? But no, thankfully, he knows how to hold space and was very supportive. But yeah, I just struggled a lot and it was short it was around that time that we came here to Costa Rica and ended up spending three and a half months only to realize that this is where we wanted to call home. And I think since that period, I haven’t this was a year ago now, is that right? Yea, yea, yea. I haven’t experienced the darkness of depression in the way that since then really that that deep darkness. I have a different relationship with it and I think that. The magic that I witnessed with ayahuasca and afterward through different things like breathwork and other things that we’re able to get me to that state, I feel like I can’t.

Davina (00:16:30) Go back to such deep darkness when I’ve seen so much light. Because I know that I’m not made of darkness. And I think that was my fear before. That’s something I kind of believed ever since I was a child. But there was so much darkness in me and to have connected with the light allowed me to balance that out. We can have darkness, we can have a shadow, we can experience it. But it’s not what we are made of. And I feel like now that I know that through my lived experiences, something that nobody could ever take away from me, as much as someone might want to debate me on it, you know, it’s like I just I know what’s true for me. And one of the things we did a lot during the mentorship with you was to connect to that our higher self and go deep within to find what truth is and what truth feels like. And now that I have that tool, I feel like it’s a lot easier to use that voice to guide me versus, you know, all the other archetypes and ego and all these other things that try to get in the way.

Abby (00:17:36) Hmm. That’s so beautiful. There are so many things I want to speak to about what you just said. So with. And with the light in the dark. It’s it’s interesting. So I feel like I mean I was taught in Chinese medicine is the yin yang symbol where there’s the light side and the dark side and there’s the thought of light in the dark. And I thought of dark and the light. And they said, there’s always light with dark and always dark with light. And I think so much of it is just forgetting the light and remembering the light inside of us that we’re made of. I love that you said something that now that you’ve experienced can’t be taken from you. It’s such an interesting thing that to me that sounds like it’s integration. It’s like not a concept in your mind, but it’s something that you experience and knows for yourself.

Davina (00:18:27) No. And I think that very I think that right away after the experience, the ego does try to get in the way and the mind tries to get in the way. Like maybe it was all bullshit. Maybe, you know, yeah, you made that up or it’s just like a dream or like, you know, and then you try to explain it to people and they don’t necessarily understand. So you do try to like it. Find reasons why. Maybe it wasn’t what you thought it was at the moment. And that’s why I think that other practices can be really helpful, like getting back to a place of bliss during breathwork that I’ve experienced with ayahuasca was like, Oh, remember this state, it is true, it exists. And dreams. Dreams are so powerful too. And I’ve spoken to me so much since my ayahuasca experience and all of these things come into to remind me at least, that that it was was real.

Abby (00:19:29) Yeah. I remember that, though, for sure. And it’s and also being in a society where a lot of people are not in that place yet or haven’t known don’t necessarily believe in that world beyond the obvious physical things in front of us. And you mentioned coming back to those states of bliss with Breathwork. So what has that been like for you?

Davina (00:19:57) It’s so cool that Breathwork is such a big part of my life now because I didn’t choose it. And that’s like something I was to it’s ironic. I was seeking to surrender more, which sounds like a bit of an oxymoron. I wanted to be able to surrender more in my life and to let things in. And I didn’t know what that even looked like. What do you mean? Like you don’t make choices and then push towards achieving your goals. It just went against everything I have kind of done up until now in my life. And this just Breathwork was such a powerful practice for me and I have had such great experiences with it. And then I saw just one day I was like, I don’t know, maybe I would like to be facilitated in this. Maybe something I would like to be reading.

Davina (00:20:44) It seems like it could suit me well and something nobody is doing out here in Samara. So I went online to see different things and there was this one class, it was self-paced, which is really what I was looking for because I wanted to take my time. I was feeling very introverted at that moment and I wanted to have something I could work on on my own, kind of like a retreat and work on this thing. And a lot of these other classes were in-person training and stuff, so I thought that would lend itself well to me, and it just seemed like it came into my awareness for a reason. So I signed up. It was a six-month program.

Davina (00:21:23) I finished it in like maybe three months. I was so into it. And then Daniel around the same time did his training, but he did something different. He did a specific method of breathwork, whereas I did a more general training. And then we started to like it was funny because even though we started at different times and worked on them at different times, we both of us got our official certification letter on the same day, which was a total coincidence and interesting.

Abby (00:21:52) Yeah.

Davina (00:21:53) And then we started doing these ceremonies together. We’re doing the method that he was trained in, which is called Elemental Rhythm, and I kind of support him. I lead the opening meditations, I do the connecting to the light that you taught us in our mentorship. So get everybody nice and relaxed. And then moving into this, this practice, it’s very active breathwork so you’re doing these heavy, deep breathing, different patterns of it, and we guide along with music and then some breath holds. And then the whole experience, the whole breathing experience lasts only about 30 minutes, but the whole experience is about 2 hours because there’s so there’s a long meditation at the end and some integration time and then we share.

Davina (00:22:46) And it’s just incredible to see the experiences that people can have. It’s just and here in Samara, you know, people are here to heal. We see it a lot through the people who pop into our class. And we have regulars already, even though we’ve only been doing this like several times now, people who come every week and who have a different experience every week, and there’s a lot of people who come out here to experience plant medicine as well. So they might do, Oh, some people facilitate blood flow out here. And so they go to this complete ego, death and reaching, you know, like a near-death experience. And then they come to Breathwork a couple of days later and they’re able to go back to that place just through Breathwork, which is incredible. And I’ve seen people have memories of childhood memories come up, relationships that are being called to be healed, that are coming up, and the memories that they’re being shown related to somebody in their life with who they then feel called to reconnect with or. You name it.

Davina (00:23:49) I feel like we’ve already seen it and we’ve only just begun. So it’s such a beautiful, powerful practice for accessing all kinds of things. And recently my parents came to visit and then my sister and her partner came to visit. And so my dad, who I would have never imagined would be interested, came to one of our classes. And so, yeah, it was incredible to have him like come and do the breathing. And I saw him working hard and it was the first class that I assisted Daniel with, which was cool. And then afterward, like even my mom was like, Wow, he’s so white, he feels like a different person. And I was like, Yeah, transformation comes in all sorts of different ways. He might not have had much to report on in terms of the experience, but something happened because I could feel it. We could all feel it just being around him and yeah, it’s cool to be able to share that now with people in my life as well.

Abby (00:24:46) That’s so beautiful. What a beautiful blend with the breathwork that Daniel is leading them through. And then this extra layer of intention and connection sounds like integration afterward as well that you help guide them through. It’s incredible and so beautiful to be able to offer that to people in your life, especially people who you wouldn’t expect. I find it, you know, it can be so surprising who shows up and is ready to do the work once you start offering it to people?

Davina (00:25:12) Yeah.

Abby (00:25:14) Ha. Yeah, I remember doing I did a hollow Tropic Breathwork class like I attended one a few years ago, and I just did the breathing, the circular breathing process and then all my hands, like, tightened up. And I felt all of this tension in my body and all this tingling. And then I just a lovely facilitator came over and she did this like Reiki tuning sound and like, put her hand on my neck and all this, like, deep, deep wail of a cry just came out for a couple of minutes and I was like, too in it to care to be embarrassed about everybody else in the room hearing it. But afterward, I just felt so much lighter and the whole rest of that week I felt like a different person. And my husband Dave was saying, you, you were better. When you go to that, you should go more. I don’t think they’re offering it here anymore, unfortunately, but it was amazing. It was so transformative. And it was something that was just about breathing and being in my body and moving all the stuff that was held in my body.

Davina (00:26:15) is Pretty incredible. It is like there’s when I’m guiding, I’m often telling people like, see how if you’re facing resistance, see what’s on the other side of that, because it is a safe practice for doing that. And you’re like, Oh, it’s just breathing. But then you do face like so many, your ego’s trying to protect you, right? It’s like, don’t go there. You shouldn’t open that door, you should stop breathing or you should go back to your regular breathing. And all of this comes up. And even to me, what you’re describing, the like the hands and all that being super tight, we see that all the time, these little like lobster claws just because the PH levels change in your body. So it causes that. And I find it like oddly cute when people are like their little tiny hands.

Abby (00:27:03) Lobsters, little.

Davina (00:27:05) Insect arms and yeah, it can be very scary for people, too, which is why it’s helpful to have we always brief people on the kinds of things they can expect. Yeah, it’s incredible. What you can do with just your body and the emotional release that you’re just describing is so common for me. I don’t think I’ve ever done breathwork and not like cried a ton or released some kind of in some kind of emotional way. I’ve also experienced that with ice baths, which is probably one of my least favorite things to do, but also one of the most powerful things that I can do. It’s literally like 5 minutes to release so much. And I also was able to bring my sister and her partner sub to the ice baths that we do here with the community.

Davina (00:27:54) A lot of people come to Breathwork, go to the ice baths as well, and a lot of different great offerings around here. And the ice bath. The first time I did it here, it was. I went in and I was like my whole body. I got the technique from being in that ice bath. My whole body was frozen, you know, couldn’t move at all. And I was just focused on my breathing. It’s like I went into a trance or something. And then when my body finally relaxed, I just burst out in tears. But like a child, like this deep, deep sob. And one thing that’s helpful for me with this stuff and something that I will guide people in Breathwork as well, is that we don’t always need to have a story around these emotions. Sometimes they’re just stored in there. They might not even be ours.

Davina (00:28:39) They just what we have to do, what our job is essentially is to be present with them and let them pass, you know, and breathwork ice baths. All of these types of things are great practices for just releasing that stored energy, those emotions that just show up. They just want to be felt. And yeah, there doesn’t have to be a story around it. Like, Oh, why am I sad? Or Why am I so angry? The last ice bath  I did. I was so mad. I had so much anger. I went in and I was like, I’m mad. I have to do this. I don’t want to be here. And the facilitator who helps us through the ice baths, she’s like, Let it out, let it out. Just be you. And I was just like, wow, like screaming in the ice baths and felt amazing. And then when I got out, I was like a new person. Yeah, that’s amazing.

Abby (00:29:24) Very powerful. It is. It is amazing. It’s like in the work that I’ve done over the years, I felt I feel like. Maybe the number one, one of the key things that contribute to this depression and fatigue and illness, it’s just all of the emotions that didn’t get to be felt that are still held in the body. And if we can find more ways of getting those out, and especially without even needing to attach to the story like that, can just we can look at it and analyze it in a package, but sometimes we just got to heal and we got to get it out. We need to do it as fast as possible so that we can start feeling a lot lighter and a lot freer. And it’s something that I don’t think we talk about a lot in our society.

Abby (00:30:08) And so it can even seem surprising to me, too, or a friend of mine gave me a massage one time and I had like this chronic jaw, like this TMJ tension, and she massages all the stuff out of my jaw and I felt great. And I went to bed that night and I woke up in the middle of the night just furious, like, for no reason, but just so angry. And she worked all this tension out of my jaw, like, down to my heart, where I could feel and process it. There’s no story behind it. It was just like, Oh, this is all the stuff that was sitting in my body. And it’s I think if there are as many avenues as we can find to release that effectively, then that’s so powerful and it’s so healing and it’s so preventative for other possible issues down the road.

Davina (00:30:53) Yeah. All of that gets stuck in the body if it’s not expressed. My friend here is a massage therapist, a yoga teacher, and a lightworker. She’s extremely connected and I’ve had the privilege of being at her table a couple of times. She does like a34 hour massage. It’s incredible. And she works through it. Yeah, she’ll be like, Here’s your grandmother’s anger. You know, she’ll find so much stuff in the body. And it’s like, really, she really reads the body and finds things that are stuck in there, and she’ll work as long as she needs to on certain parts. Yeah, I’ve had this chronic shoulder issue for years now and I’m constantly trying to work with it to be like, What’s in here? What’s stuck in here? I’m still working on it. I still don’t know all the answers. I keep having these like ideas of what it is, and sometimes I’m like, Maybe I don’t need to think about it. I just need to feel through it. And sometimes I’m like, No, I need to break this down. And so it teaches me a lot, this injury, and yeah, always unpacking new layers of it until hopefully it will get healed eventually for good.

Abby (00:32:06) Yeah. I have faith that I will. For you, it’s just part of the journey, right? Continuing to unpack and learn. I find that true. Like I’m learning more and more every day and feeling more and more called to integrate lessons physically into the body.

Davina (00:32:21) Yeah. I believe that if it’s still there, it’s because it still has more to teach me. So I just need to keep. Keep listening and keep paying attention. Keep being with it.

Abby (00:32:31) Exactly. Yeah, it’s a great perspective. I kind of see it similar. I see it as a feedback system of like, okay, my body’s giving me a message or it needs my attention in some way. And whether that be feeling emotion or integrating something with breath or movement or awareness or life path, as you guys went to this whole other part of the world to kind of sounds like answer this sort of calling. I feel like that’s a big part of it too, is just permitting yourself to do what you feel like you’re meant to be doing and where you’re meant to be doing it.

Davina (00:33:04) Yeah. There are so many excuses we can come up with to come up with, to do, or to not do the things that sometimes we’re called to do. This is a huge leap of faith in so many ways. I’ve had so much emotion come up around this move. And, you know, I was attending the mentorship during the move, right when we’re preparing to leave. And when we arrived here, the mentorship kind of fell right in the middle of all of that, which was wonderful for me. It meant I had a lot of support from all the women in the group. But yeah, so much came up, you know, it was, What am I doing? Why I’m imploding my life, you know, why would I step into the unknown like this?

Davina (00:33:43) I still have moments of really, really being homesick, of missing the house that we lived in and grieving the fact that, like, our life will never be in that house again. And all those memories of the kids being Little Charlie are my almost six-year-old. She was brought home to that house and. Yeah. It’s just really there’s a lot of sadness around the passage of time because it’s such a house is such an anchor for those five years of our life, which happened to be the first five years of Charlie’s life, too. And I still grieve a little bit for that house. And there are so many layers around that because I have I recognize the privilege that I had to be able to sell the house. When we did, nobody kicked us out. We weren’t forced out of the house for financial reasons. If anything, we got to sell at the height of the market, probably.

Davina (00:34:37) I never thought we’d be able to sell the house for what we were able to sell it for, but it was a result of that time. And, you know, all of these things kind of ushered us out of there being like, Oh, do you want me to make it easier for you? Like, here’s a good financial amount for your house and you want me to make it easier for you? It’ll sell in four days. And, you know, here’s a beautiful town that you love. Oh, and the town also has a French school, which was important for you. Like, you know, all of these little things that just lined up and community, my goodness, like I just said, the word community. And I got chills up in my arms because I didn’t know that I was moving here for the community. But like, that is what we got here. Like, it makes me emotional because it’s so special and it’s something I’ve never experienced before. Like, I didn’t know I was missing it until we came here.

Davina (00:35:25) It’s we’ve been here almost seven months now, and I have probably 12 people who I could call if I needed them right now who would show up here for me, you know, like emotionally or physically or picking up our kids because we can’t make it or lending us their car because our car broke down, like or, you know, if I just really needed someone to talk to, it’s just. I feel like we have these beautiful relationships with people here, but I’m so grateful for people from all over the world and people who are born and raised here in Costa Rica I’ve had the pleasure of making all kinds of different friendships. Yeah. It’s something so, so special. And when my family was here visiting, I felt really lucky that they got to witness that.

Davina (00:36:10) And even though it’s something like my parents couldn’t see themselves doing, moving to Costa Rica, they kind of thing we’re crazy to have done this. I think part of them were nuts, but they also told us, like, we get it, I can see you and we see the kids and how you’re thriving here and these beautiful people and your life. And we get it. And that was I didn’t need that, but it was nice to be able to share that with them and to have them see it.

Abby (00:36:35) Yeah. Wow, it is so beautiful. And something, where that came to mind earlier when you were talking about kind of holding that space of what you touched, was real like with adult will come up of like, oh did you make that all up? That was all in your mind. But if you can find community and people who will be in that space with you and share that with you, I find it can be so affirming and nurturing to help grow that part of you and such a beautiful heart connection.

Davina (00:37:09) Yeah. And I feel like I was sharing this with Daniel the other day. I feel like a lot of the people who we’ve met here, they see me and like, I don’t know how to express this. I feel like I like how they see me. I like the reflection of me that I see through them. Hmm. Like there’s a friend I made here. Who? I sat with her. We had this, like, four-hour coffee, and she facilitates Rufo, and she just talked about me, like, the way she sees me. And I was just, like, in awe that I got to receive that from her with such a beautiful gift, you know? She’s like, I see how real you are and how pure your heart is.

Davina (00:37:58) And she shared a lot of things with me that were very difficult for her to share in the past, but she’s like, I feel very open with you and I want to share this with you. And it’s like, I got to see again, like the medicine that I have to give. I got to see it reflected through how she was able to receive it if that makes sense. And I think I’ve been somebody who for a long time I had this idea that I. It was very ordinary and had nothing special to offer. And I was broken and needed so much healing and so much caretaking and all of this. And then being like, No, actually a lot of what I’ve lived is part of what makes me have this medicine.

Davina (00:38:42) And if it’s nothing else but to hold space for people so they can share something that they’ve never shared with anyone before, that is extremely valuable. I don’t have to be some kind of like guru or medicine woman, you know, and it doesn’t have to look a certain way. And I’m finding ways that I just existing and doing continuing to do the work that I’m doing for myself and coming from a very humble place where my ego has a healthy reality check regularly, you know, is allowing me to to get out of my way and to just be of service in the way that I think that I’m probably meant to, you know.

Abby (00:39:26) Yeah. Yeah. That’s such a beautiful journey to go on and kind of realize that you do have these things to share. And I feel like we can get caught in our heads of having to look a certain way or be a certain format. But like when you were talking about just being so open and connecting with people and talking about the struggles you’ve been through and helping them to relate and share their story back to you. That in itself is medicine and there are so many other kinds. It’s just so many ways that you share gifts with the world. It’s beautiful to see.

Davina (00:40:00) Yeah. I think of all the ways that I tried to prevent myself from doing that to, you know, it’s like it kind of makes me laugh because I hosted this journaling group recently. It was a six-week kind of program that came to me very intuitively. I just sat down. I was, like, battling in my mind with it for a long time. It was this idea I had for so long. I feel like I talked about it even during the mentorship, like this idea of like wanting to because journaling has been so powerful for me and I kept getting these like downloads of like, here’s a good topic that you could explore. And I was like, No, no, but I’m not the person to do that. That’s not for me. That’s not for me.

Davina (00:40:36) And then eventually I was like, What if it was for me? What would that look like? And then I just allowed myself to go there. I wrote it all down, I fleshed it out. I, you know, and at the end of it, I was like, this is good. I think I think this could be helpful for people. A lot of the journaling prompts and the themes are helpful to explore and were things that I had done myself and have found helpful. And then I just put it out there to see if anyone was interested. And in 24 hours I had to like close my page down because I had so many people like I wanted to do it.

Davina (00:41:09) And then I did it. But it took me a while to like to announce the dates because there was more fear there. There was more, you know, maybe not. You and my inner saboteur were so loud. You had so many reasons why I shouldn’t do it and I wasn’t the right person to do it, etc., etc. Why? I needed more time, I needed more training, and I needed to read more books. You know, so many reasons. And then I was like, You know what? I can hold space. I know how to hold space. And these prompts are good and they’ve helped me. And these people are here and they, they applied and they want to do this with me, so let’s just do it. And I led the group by explaining how much resistance I had met.

Davina (00:41:51) And so I started it by being very honest. I was like, Here are all the things my inner saboteur had to say before I had to shut that voice down and decide to do it anyway. And it was beautiful. It was so beautiful. I had women from all over the world and it was incredible meeting with them every week and seeing, you know, so much coming out of them and how much they showed up to give it they’re all. It was like, here are masks coming down. Here’s what I’m struggling with. Like, you won’t see this on social media, but this is what’s going on behind the scenes. It was just beautiful. I had chills every week on that, on those calls. I cried every week. It was I wasn’t a perfect leader. I didn’t always know the right thing to say. I often cried at people’s stories. I’m sure if I was like doing life coaching, I would have broken all the rules. But.

Davina (00:42:46) But I was me. And I think that was. I did the best I could. And, and it was a beautiful conversation and everyone got a lot out of it. I had beautiful feedback and then I started hosting them here in Samara as well with a small group of women, same thing, this sisterhood, and supportive circle and allowing the journaling to guide the conversations. And it was incredible. And I was like, I could have just listened to that voice and not done this and why, you know, why would I have done that? So I try to keep that in mind. Now, when things come through, something that I’m inspired to do, it’s where is this coming from? Like, where is this creative idea coming from? And oftentimes it’s a battle too. To make sure that the ego and the saboteur voices are contributing something helpful, you know, because sometimes maybe they do have something helpful to say. Maybe it’s true that I don’t know a lot about that topic.

Davina (00:43:50) Maybe that’s one I should stay away from this time. Or maybe that’s something I’d want to learn more about before I venture down that road. That’s helpful feedback. But being like, Don’t do this. Keep yourself safe. Nobody wants to learn from you or whatever. Those are not helpful voices. So I can better detect now where they’re coming from. And I think humility is a big part of it, too. Like mine. My ego needs to be really, really in check. I’m not doing anything that I do if I think I’m doing it for some kind of, like, fame or fortune. Not that there’s fame or fortune in any of the stuff I’ve been doing, but that’s something I need to pay attention to. Awareness? I think what it is for me.

Abby (00:44:35) Yeah. Yeah, it’s I think that when you mentioned earlier how you opened up this journaling class by saying these are all the things that I came up against, this is all the resistance I had to even do this. It’s like it opens up the floor to say, you can be this real here. It’s okay. We don’t have to pretend. And it just takes one person having that level of courage. And that’s such a beautiful space to hold for people, for them to feel, Oh, it’s okay, we’re all equals and it’s safe to show these parts of me here. And just by the way, I also cry when people share their stories. I don’t know if there’s an official you’re not supposed to cry rule, but I don’t follow that if they’re either. You’re just being real and being a person and connecting from the heart, you know? It’s beautiful.

Davina (00:45:26) I could never be any other way, honestly. I just couldn’t. I’ve always been extremely sensitive and Charlie is a little copy of me when it comes to that. She is super sensitive. We watch a Disney movie and we’ll like sob together, you know, just very empathetic.

Abby (00:45:42) It’s a superpower because it helps you hold space and feel what other people are feeling. And I remember, I think I couldn’t be any other way either or I could try, but I mean, miserable trying. I remember listening to Oprah talk at one point about how she was, like, starting as this news anchor, but she was using all these personal stories and reactions and it was seen as not professional. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t doing it right or doing it well. And then she had this thought like, Well, wait a minute, maybe that is what makes me great. I just pivot it and find a place where she was allowed to be here and made a whole bunch of magic. I feel like it’s just that’s not wrong. It’s just where can I connect in a way that this is a gift?

Davina (00:46:26) Yeah. That’s such a beautiful way of looking at it. Where can I connect? In a place where this is a gift? Yeah. I don’t know if that are the exact words. I tried to repeat it exactly, but. Yeah, it’s really. That’s so beautiful. And that is totally what made Oprah so good. You know, that’s what we love about her. That’s how she was so real. And yeah, I wouldn’t want to be any other way. I mean, it’s that’s how I connect to people too, is I think that’s how they feel like they can share with me because I can hold that space and that I can. I can feel their emotions at least. Yeah.

Abby (00:47:04) Yeah. Help them feel seen. That’s a really powerful thing to be seen in that way and that heart space. So. So are you offering these journaling sessions now? Are you and Daniel doing Breathwork together now? So what’s next for you guys?

Davina (00:47:24) So we are continuing the Breathwork classes or the sessions here. We’re about to leave. We’re leaving for three weeks. At the end of the week, we’re going to the US. We’re doing a little road trip with the kids. They’re off school for a bit, so we figured we’d have a little adventure, which we’re very excited about. And then when we come back, we’ll resume our breathwork sessions. I’m putting it together I’m between journaling classes right now. I just wrapped up my first one, the one online and the one in person. And so I’m kind of figuring out how I want to structure the next ones, but I’m also working on something a little different. I guess it’s another one that I’ve been having a lot of voices getting involved in the process.

Davina (00:48:18) It’s called a return to wholeness, and it’s continuing on the path of healing, on the theme of healing, which is what I think I can I can never get away from, just forever. What I will be doing, I think. But the idea of this return to wholeness is to kind of. Forming a deeper connection to ourselves through different practices. I’ll have recorded Breathwork meditations and sessions. We’ll do like journaling prompts. We’ll do worksheets and different topics to explore and meet. I think I’ll probably do it. That’ll be optional to do it in a self-paced, self-led kind of situation. And also I’ll want to do one with live calls because I enjoy those a lot. And the power of connecting to other people in this container, as I’ve seen firsthand how powerful that is. And so I’ll have that component available.

Davina (00:49:22) And yeah, I’m still kind of like fleshing it out and exploring what that means, trying to spend time with like the most aligned in alignment version of myself so that the ideas are coming from, from that part of me. Yeah. That’s one thing I got to, got to practice through the mentorship was connecting to that part of me and listening to what that part has to say. I think like you kind of touched on this before, but the things I’m trying to create now, I want them to come from like a humble place and from that place of alignment. And it’s more asking myself, like, how is this going to serve others? Versus like me needing to control things to be a certain way or me needing to come off a certain way.

Davina (00:50:15) And that’s I think that’s. I needed to go through a lot of this other stuff to get to that place where I can even be aware of the difference between those voices. Yeah. They’re still there. The voices are still there. But I have a better relationship with them maybe. And I can identify them better. Hmm.

Abby (00:50:39) Beautiful. Yeah. And they, like, they don’t get to run the show anymore, it sounds like.

Davina (00:50:45) Exactly. Yeah.

Abby (00:50:48) So if for the people out there. Who is working through their fear, because you had mentioned that was a big part of the beginning of your healing journey with ayahuasca was moving through this fear this kind of fear of the unknown, this desire to control that, and then stepping into compassion and know so much you’ve been through. So there are people who are on their path and they’re confronting these kinds of things. What would you want them to know?

Davina (00:51:23) I’m. There’s a difference between fear and danger. So, you know, we can look like we think we’re in danger. But remembering that just because it feels scary doesn’t mean it’s something you’re incapable of. It’s a very simple lesson, but ayahuasca repeated to me over and over again, You can do hard things, which is I think there’s a children’s book named that like very basic. But yeah, you can do hard things and sometimes do breathwork I’ll say that to people, just remembering that the boundaries of our comfort zone can be stretched and it can be scary. But it also doesn’t have to be like that. Karate chopping them down. You can stretch them gently and it can be a process. And, you know, there’s a place for conquering fear in a way that’s still it will. It’s scary. Conquering fear is scary, but it can still be done at your own pace. And there’s still a way to do that while respecting what you’re ready for.

Davina (00:52:33) And also that there are a lot of practices to get you comfortable, you know, with fear, which sounds ironic, comfortable with fear, but or to practice that, you know, conquering fear is a practice. And if you’re able to find ways to face fear and to go beyond fear regularly in a way that’s safe and controlled, like ice baths, like Breathwork, those are two very powerful practices we’ve talked about that I personally just really connect to. Then other stuff doesn’t feel as scary anymore. You train yourself to know that you are capable of facing fear and that you’re stronger than you think. Hmm.

Abby (00:53:18) That’s beautiful. Where can people find you, Davina, if they want to learn more about the work you do?

Davina (00:53:25) Yeah. So my website is davinapalik.com constantly a work in progress, but I try to post there and the things that I’m doing and I post some of my journaling entries there and try to continue sharing there on Instagram. I’m @Davinakudish. Could I eventually I will probably change back to there too. But for now, I’m still at Kudish, which is my partner’s last name. And yeah, those are the two, the two places. So. Yeah.

Abby (00:54:04) So. Well, thank you for sharing your journey, and thank you for your openness and authenticity, and integrity in it. And it’s I, I can feel how much it’s reaching out and helping other people and we can’t know how much more that will ripple out now and in the future. So really beautiful work you’re doing.

Davina (00:54:24) Thank you. Thanks for having this conversation with me and also for everything that I’ve gotten from having you as my mentor. It’s been I’m still every day continuing to unpack some of what we explored. And I’m grateful for that.

Abby (00:54:42) I think you it’s so much fun. And you were talking earlier about, like, needing to feel prepared and those things that were coming up. It’s like, I feel like every class is like an adventure. Like, I’ll show something, but I don’t know what’s going to how people are going to respond. And that’s part of what makes it so interesting, is this like dynamic alive thing. And I’m guessing for your what you teach to like you can’t know how people are going to show up or what’s going to come up for them. But that’s part of the adventure. It’s a beautiful thing you get to hold space for.

Davina (00:55:15) And that’s been a huge place for me to face fear. That fear of how am I going to come off and are they going to think I’m terrible at this and being like, no, I trust my intuition. I trust the flow. And yeah, I can only do my best and show up as mine. My most aligned self and give myself grace when it’s not perfect and yeah.

Abby (00:55:59) Absolutely. Thank you. th

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Jeanette Lee: Chinese Energetic Medicine

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Jeanette Lee: Chinese Energetic Medicine

In episode 20 of the Mind Body Free Podcast, Jeanette Lee shares his journey of Chinese Energetic Medicine and how she works with the principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine, energy healing, and personalized qigong prescription exercises to help her clients heal from chronic physical conditions. 

Jeanette has helped me tremendously in my own healing journey and I’m proud to introduce as the newest team member of Mind Body Free, where she is supporting students in the Mentorship Program with Qigong as well as offering private Chinese Energetic Medicine treatments

This episode is for anyone struggling with chronic fatigue, pain, digestive issues, reproductive issues, cancer, or any other physical condition that’s been affecting your quality of life. As well as anyone wanting to learn more about energy work and how to feel your own energy.

Connect with Jeanette:
mindbodyfree.com/jeanettelee
Facebook
jeanette@mindbodyfree.com


 

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Looking for more support?
Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.

 


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I am here with my friend Jeanette Lee. I met Jeanette many years ago when we were studying shamanic Chinese medicine and medical qigong together. And it’s been so fun to go in our directions and I’m going to delve into the world of shamanic healing. And Jeanette is amazing at Chinese energetic medicine and supporting people with physical conditions, and I’m excited to introduce you to her today because she is just a wealth of information, so much knowledge, and just so light-hearted and fun to connect with.

Abby (00:00:42) And she’s been working with me in the mentorship program. She’s been helping the students connect with their energy field, and strengthen their energy field through qigong, through different energy treatments. And she’s helped me so much. She just kind of showed up as this angel who saw one of my posts on Facebook saying, hey, I’m going through all of this Candida stuff. And she reached out and she said, Hey, I want to work with you. I want to do sessions with you. And I was like, Yeah, that would be great. And so it’s been a huge difference. I’ve been doing these specialized exercises she’s given me.

Abby (00:01:17) We’ve done lots of one on one sessions together, and I’m regaining my energy bit by bit and feeling so much better about life and my body and everything. And it’s just so nice to have her in the community, to have her support me personally, and also to have her in the mentorship supporting our lovely students there. So welcome, Jeanette. Thank you for being here.

Jeanette (00:01:38) Thanks, Abby.

Abby (00:01:43) You are welcome, my friend. So can you give me a little bit of background about you? I know that you had mentioned that you grew up learning about herbs and food as medicine and creating balance in the body. Like, can you tell me a little bit about your background?

Jeanette (00:02:03) I grew up in a very traditional Chinese family and traditional Chinese families, herbs and energy, and Chinese medicine. It’s almost part of your daily life because whatever you eat has to be for the season for certain conditions. Just as an example, my mother always cooked soup as she would. Literally. It’s called boil herbal soup in Chinese, and it would be depending on the season, it would be depending on if somebody was sick with the flu or the cold in the house. She would make specific soups, say, with asparagus and various other roots and goji berry, etc., and that’s to support the health of her children and her family. If we, for example, eat out, we always eat out in Chinese restaurants.

Jeanette (00:03:03) There was no such thing as eating at McDonald’s for us. We were a staunch Chinese family. So of course when you eat in Chinese restaurants, the food is always really rich. So there’s a term in Chinese, it’s called I’ll say it in Cantonese. So she would always if we ate in a Chinese restaurant and we brought leftovers home and little baggies, we ate that for a day or two. She would always make another dinner afterward that would address that rich richness in the diet to help your body balance. So it’s part of the traditional meal. And of course, if you’re helping in the kitchen, all the kids had to help in the kitchen. You had to learn about the preparation of foods and what goes with what and what you should never have. Like, for example, you never put garlic in Chinese soup. Never, ever, ever. It’s a bad thing.

Abby (00:04:06) You know that.

Jeanette (00:04:09) Sometimes you put ginger in, but not very often. If it’s a warming soup, you use ginger. But honestly, never use accurate vegetables in soups at all because they’re overstimulating and they’re not calming. They also affect your lungs in certain ways. So there’s I mean, you only learn this if you’re growing up in a Chinese family and you’re in the kitchen cooking or chopping. In my case, I chopped everything. Yeah, I was on food prep duty.

Abby (00:04:50) That’s amazing. I wish I had. Can we have it? We all have one of your moms. Be so. Incredible growing up and the fact that you made a second meal to address the richness of the going out meal, that’s just that’s a dedicated woman. That’s beautiful.

Jeanette (00:05:05) I don’t know if in today’s world some Chinese families are as traditional or as observant with what their dietary intake is because it’s cultural. It’s very much cultural and it’s like it goes with the seasons or it goes with the month. For example, in the springtime, it’s liver foods that you would eat. So you would eat lots of fresh greens, especially brassicas green brassicas because of the vitamin C and some of the other antioxidants and everything good for your liver. There are other things that you probably do for your liver, and I’m not sure. I think it’s called Golden Thread. Not sure, but that’s another thing that you would eat. There are also other things like helping to balance or clean your liver out.

Abby (00:06:04) What kind of things would you do to help balance or clean out your liver? Because I know springtime is the liver season. So yeah, along with eating the greens and the brassicas, what could you do to help your liver?

Jeanette (00:06:17) In the Western diet? I would say. And Western herbs I would say every morning when you get up, the first thing you do is you drink a glass of water, a full glass of water. Sometime during the day, you should probably drink water with lemon juice. Maybe a quarter or a half of lemon juice in. And just from my own learning experience. You should always drink lemon juice with a straw so that you don’t damage your teeth.

Abby (00:06:51) And we also had that learning experience. Unfortunately.

Jeanette (00:06:55) This is my group saying never drink lemon juice, drink it out of a straw.

Abby (00:07:00) My animals have taught me that lesson.

Jeanette (00:07:05) So other herbs that you could dandelion greens in fresh salads or even lightly steam because fresh salads aren’t the greatest for you. Based on Chinese medicine, you should always have things warm, slightly warm, or cooked, because it does harm them. It harms your spleen. So when I say green, when you eat greens, you should probably just have them lightly steamed. If you like having salads, then that way it will just slightly wilt, and then you can still have dressing and everything on them. A western herb that’s good for your liver is milk vessel. That’s another one that helps to clean and support your liver.

Abby (00:07:55) Nice. So I tend to avoid, like, raw vegetables that are hard on the spleen. So the spleen and the stomach are connected. So spleens are kind of all about digestion. And then I think I have heard it before is kind of like it’s a cauldron, like a digestive fire. So if we put it in icy cold water and it’s going to, it’s not going to work as well. Is that right? Yeah.

Jeanette (00:08:19) slows it. It shocks the spleen and it shocks the stomach to have cold, cold things in their stomach. And when you hit cold things contract. And then the juices don’t flow. So what they say in Chinese medicine is that it damages the actual spleen key itself. So once your spleen starts to. Lower. It causes all sorts of problems in the body. So once you’re deficient, typically the spleen is the organ system that controls the muscles. So once you’re spleen deficient, you’ll find that your muscles will weaken.

Jeanette (00:09:11) You may have extreme deficiencies, you may have diarrhea. Or on the other hand, your stomach energy may tend to flare up because the spleen is not there anchoring it, and your stomach energy may tend to flare up. So then you have acid reflux, and you have constant burping. Another thing that may happen is dampness. It can be because the spleen qi is unable to move, and dampness may start creeping into the body.

Abby (00:09:43) You describe what dampness is.

Jeanette (00:09:46) Dampness is the liquids in your body and they’re different from what you would think they are. For example, if you were to just scrape your skin, just skin yourself, you’ll see just not deep enough to hit the blood layer. But just on the surface, you’ll see a little bit of liquid that comes out of there. That’s part of the body system of liquid. You also get dampness in terms of your tissues holding a little bit of excess liquid or water. You’ll have dampness that accumulates because there’s not enough cheese to move. That water or that liquid.

Jeanette (00:10:32) And as soon as water or liquid stays in one spot, then it tends to I guess the term might be coagulated or it will lose and it will thicken with extreme dampness. It will turn flammable. And phlegm is the root of many, many issues in the body, including arthritis, gout, and even cancers.

Abby (00:11:02) Yeah,  Dampness is one that I’ve been working with and it is a mofo to clear out. It takes longer than the other ones.

Jeanette (00:11:12) It takes a long time. It can take years to clear down this, and it takes a long time to bring your spleen energy back up. Naturally.

Abby (00:11:24) And dampness and weather. When we say qi, we’re talking about energy. And so dampness would be one of the pathogenic factors, I believe it’s referred to. And so there’s dampness, there’s dryness, there is heat, wind, cold, and then there’s a dry heat that the other one.

Jeanette (00:11:46) I can’t remember. There are five, right?

Abby (00:11:51) Yeah. Damp, cold heart. Wind. Dried Chinese, I think. Yeah, And so and so those are kind of like different descriptors to a way the body can be imbalanced. And I’ve heard it described as a kind of Chinese medicine is different in one of the ways it’s different than Western medicine is that it looks like the body as a garden, and it’s not so much about the individual part of the body, but looking at it holistically and how do we bring it back into balance, is that would that be how you would view it or would you change that description?

Jeanette (00:12:31) No, that’s a perfect description. Your body’s a garden or it’s an environment within itself and ecosystem and your organs all work together and organs have channels that run through your entire head to toe. And channels are attached to organs. So those specific channels will have specific energy flows up or down from the organs. And if one organ is out of whack, another organ will. Eventually, become weakened because of the energy cycle from within your organs each organ provides. Energy to another set of organs. And that’s the cycle. It’s the five-element cycle or the five-phase cycle within the organ. So if one fails, then the next one will eventually fail. And then because that one fails, a third will fail, and then the whole cycle. The other thing is.

Abby (00:13:42)

Abby: Every two considers to be working.

Jeanette (00:13:44) Yeah. When you’re deficient, for example, if you’re deficient there, that will create other issues in terms of excess, excess or if you’re deficient, you could hit burnout and become yang deficient. And there are all sorts of differences. I guess what they would call syndromes happening. So. Yeah.

Abby (00:14:14)

Abby: Yeah. And you mentioned the five elements working together. So each organ is paired with a different element and they all work together as a cycle and each one is essential. And that’s like also when one goes offline or just doesn’t work properly and all of the other ones feel it and eventually, the other ones start suffering as well. Yeah.

Jeanette (00:14:39) So yeah.

Abby (00:14:41) Do you find that there are common conditions that you see a lot of? There’s like patterns that you see with what’s going on, people that you work with.

Jeanette (00:14:51) Yeah. The most common, I think, and most likely because I work more with women than with men, although I have long, long-term male clients that I work with and see every week. But in terms of women, the one that I see quite often is spleen qi deficiency, yin deficiency, and yang or liver yang excess.

Jeanette (00:15:28) And that also impacts their monthly cycle tremendously. So if you don’t have the cheek to move and your liver is not moving, or if it’s flaring upwards, then it will throw your cycle off completely.

Abby (00:15:51) And that’s.

Jeanette (00:15:51) Why. I’m so.

Abby (00:15:52) Sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. That’s why we were working on that together. So you were helping me with that? Because that was throwing my cycle off. Well, it’s been like this since my whole life, but I am actively working on it now because I had just been on birth control pills from the time I was like 14 to 32, which incidentally can contribute to Candida overgrowth, which I’ve been dealing with lately. So for me, I probably had that condition even when I was a kid, you know, or when I was younger. This is like spleen qi deficiency and immune deficiency. I remember being a little kid and being tired. I remember having passed out at one time, remember? Like having a sensitive stomach to food. So is this something that people could be born with or is it something they usually develop or a combination there?

Jeanette (00:16:45) There is. From what I’ve read, I worked with a fellow a couple of years ago who had stomach issues, and he was extremely spleen qi deficiency, and he had loose balls, diarrhea, and digested food. And he asked me the same question. And at that point, I didn’t know if it was hereditary that was passed down in like in Chinese, they call it Jing or the essence. But one day his little boy came in and I think at that point he was five years old and we were just joking. I was playing with him. I got him up on the table and I was tickling him. And then I said, Is there a butterfly? And at that point, I turned into his energy and I said, Is there a little butterfly that’s flipping around in your stomach? And he said, Yeah, it’s always there. I said, Hmm. And you sometimes have diarrhea and you feel really tired. And he’s like, Yeah. So at that point, I realized he had pretty much the same thing as his dad, but at a very much younger age and not as developed. So I guess in hindsight, I would say, yes, that things like that can be inherited.

Abby (00:18:18) Yeah. Wow. That’s a good insight into that. And you mentioned feeling into his energy. And so that’s something that you do because you do Chinese energetic medicine treatments one on one with people. So what is that like when you work with their energy? Like, what is that process like?

Jeanette (00:18:36) So. When I work with people hands-on, it’s much different because I’m very much more present and I’m very physical and I touch them and I’ll palpate into different points and I’ll push pulse energy through them. So it’s much more. Physical material type of treatment. I do go off into their outer energy fields and work in their outer energy fields because there’ll be different things happening. There may be inconsistencies that I need to bring through the body, but for the most part, with COVID, I do all of my treatments by distance.

Jeanette (00:19:24) So what happens there is I connect with the client on Zoom and I’ll be assessed and I’ll talk to them. And, then we go into the treatment. The client will lay down and I will bring their energetic form onto my table and I’ll work with their energetic form. I’m able to connect to them by stepping into their body so I can feel what Is happening. And at some points I can see or I can hear or I can feel pain or imbalances, I can see light and dark and colors. So that gives me an indication of what’s going on and where they need it. You know, purging or if they need modification or if they need energy blockages cleared or. For example, constrictions. Constrictions are interesting to feel when you’re working on someone at a distance because I get into their body and go through this.

Abby (00:20:45) Constriction.

Jeanette (00:20:46) Open.

Jeanette (00:20:49) Frictions typically are not easy. They never go away in one treatment because it’s almost like it has memory.

Abby (00:20:58)

Abby: So like the muscle memory but energetic memory.

Jeanette (00:21:02) Yeah. So it’s like habituated to this constricted energy flow. So time after time, I have to just kind of keep opening and it may take three or four or five sessions. It depends on where the constriction is. Also, depending on the client, if they are self-aware, I will ask them to help me during the session because if the client actually can do it with me, it’s much more effective. So it clears much more easily. Yeah. So yeah, it’s having the person that’s lying there go into, for example, if there’s a constriction down there, their little cavity by the heart space, I’ll just have them go down, sink into that space and just literally make room or if there’s something there, I’ll ask them to move it and quite often they’re able to do it. Yeah.

Abby (00:22:12) Yeah, I found that too. If they work with you, they can move you can move your energy so effectively with, with some guidance and. Yeah. And you’re working together then to two sets of energy instead of what.

Jeanette (00:22:28) Well it’s really important in treatments that the client take an active role during the treatment is good if, if there is something like that that comes up if they can help me clear it or help me open up a blockage or remove a thing that shouldn’t be there, then, it actually will happen much more quickly than if I work on it and try and remove something. It takes me probably 2 to 3 times longer to work through it. I was going to say something else, but it’s gone. It’s funny how it happens.

Abby (00:23:17) It’s like. It’s like a whisper that goes, oh.

Jeanette (00:23:20) It was a good one too.

Abby (00:23:21) Come to you. Feel free to. Interject when it comes back. So what drew you into this kind of work? What did you do towards doing this?

Jeanette (00:23:35) What actually kind of pulled me into this was I didn’t know I was going to go into this to start with, but my brother had passed away from cancer. And it was a hard time because he was in the hospital for months and he was on chemo and he was telling us that he was seeing. Things. And these things were telling him differently, giving him different messages, and he would have conversations and everybody else, everybody thought he was crazy or was the result of the chemotherapy. But I know what I know now, I think he was talking to his guides.

Abby (00:24:29) And what kinds of things was he seeing or describing?

Jeanette (00:24:34) He would be in his hospital room and he would seem like just a little. He didn’t describe what they look like, but small I wouldn’t even call them people, but small creatures or entities or something. And one of them told him that he wasn’t going to die right now, so not to worry. And he lived for five months and he has diagnosed with stage five metastatic cancer, which was in his nervous system and is in the fluid around his brain and everything. And eventually, it did go into his brain. But essentially the chemotherapy went through trying to get him more weeks so that he could get everything organized.

Jeanette (00:25:33) But he ended up having more months like we were. He was released from the hospital and was able to spend time at home with his family and everything. So. Yeah. So it was just messages like that. You’re not going to die immediately. Like, just take the time, take a breath and just get things organized. And it’s just some other things about being able to pass on and not to worry because death is not the end, that there is a constant, constant life afterward.

Abby (00:26:16) It sounds like he had this connection with something in a different, different world and this physical one we’re normally living in. Yeah. For you. At that time, did you feel that it was his guide at that time or what was that like for you to hear that?

Jeanette (00:26:32) Then for I wasn’t that I wasn’t anywhere as sensitive and I at that point, I didn’t know what a guide was like. It was all out there for me. I think the thing that made a huge impact on me was when. The day that he passed, my brother and I were sitting in the waiting room and we both knew we passed because we had his energy come through right almost at the yellow court region. Which area? Yeah, solar plexus is the energy that came through and I immediately knew it was him and he wanted to say thank you.

Jeanette (00:27:22) And the same time I had it, my brother who was sitting beside me had it, except that my brother gave him an extra, like one of those big hugs lifted from the back. So, that was kind of an eye-opener. And my first well, not my first, I think I’ve had brushes with. Things that I didn’t understand before that. But that was like the first real tangible thing where somebody besides me felt the same thing, so it was more real. So what got me into qigong or Chinese energetic medicine was a friend of mine was heading to Vancouver to take a medical qigong course, and she said, You want to go? And I went, I don’t even know what it is, but sure.

Abby (00:28:18) Why not?

Jeanette (00:28:19) I thought it was like tai chi.

Abby (00:28:22) Course or something. Little did you know.

Jeanette (00:28:29) So that’s. That’s how I am. That was my introduction.

Abby (00:28:34) Wow. I guess it was the right time in your life. It feels like the universe just kind of handed this one. Maybe your guides are just like, hey, this is next. Yeah. Sounded like you were open. Yeah. Which was all you needed at that time, I guess.

Jeanette (00:28:49) Yeah, I think everything happens for a reason, so. Yeah. And then. Yeah, since then I have taken an interest.

Abby (00:29:05) Yes. So, yeah Every time I talk to you, you’re like, oh, I’m doing this new Qigong said, I’ve been doing this meditation. Like, it’s like it’s inspiring. It’s just like, you know, someone has found what they’re meant to be doing when they just live and breathe it, you know? Like for Fun.

Jeanette (00:29:24) It’s called I’m one of these people who need to figure it out. And if I can’t figure it out, I learn more and more or take more and more courses.

Abby (00:29:34) Great way to grow. You’re so knowledgeable about it. And it’s yeah, it’s amazing.

Jeanette (00:29:42) The curiosity behind it all. And it’s, it’s amazing how much there is behind this.

Abby (00:29:50) Oh, it feels like it’s not.

Jeanette (00:29:53) Yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s not just t there’s so much behind the practice and the traditions behind it and it’s so powerful. Like, it’s just amazing. That’s all I can see. Amazing.

Abby (00:30:10) Yeah. And it’s one of those things that, like when I’m doing qigong, I mean, lately I’ve been doing these liver and spleen exercises that involve stretching my tendons so it doesn’t feel like soft, flowy tai chi kind of in the park sort of vibe is like me shaking and moaning and like, getting hot and flesh in the face. It’s not pretty, but I know it’s working. It’s working things out of my system. I feel great after, but a lot of it too. It is very gentle and it’s, you know, to think about how much of a return in well being you get for how gentle it can seem or like, Oh, you’re just standing there and meditating and moving breath in different directions, or you’re just like moving your hand down here and imagining and tending.

Abby (00:31:01) The energy goes this way. Like it can seem like. I just like magical or even made up, like, how am I doing stuff? But then you feel phenomenally different. So yeah, I mean I, there’s something to it and this is the work I do too. So I don’t, I’m no longer someone who doubts, but. For a while, I would just be like, Wow, I don’t have to, like go work out or do this invasive procedure I’ll have to do just gentle movement and breath and attention, practice, and what a difference it makes. Yeah.

Jeanette (00:31:32) Yeah,  And as you’re talking about how, how it looks like you’re not doing it, a good, good example is the question the return to spring said because you’re you can stand, you can sit or you can sit cross-legged and you hold your hands in one position. And if somebody was looking at you from the outside, it’s like, how is that healing you?

Abby (00:32:00) I just think you’re meditating. But a lot is going on. There’s inner alchemy happening.

Jeanette (00:32:05) Yeah, the energy movement is just phenomenal. That and the flow of that. You can feel it just by directing your hands in a tent position in front of your chest. And if you’re focused and your hands are in the right position, the flow is amazing. Yeah. And that’s all clearing out and sending energy down to your kidneys.

Abby (00:32:28) Yeah. And a lot of people need energy in their kidneys. I believe a lot of women I worked with, myself included. Just those are the battery banks of the body, is that right?

Jeanette (00:32:40) Yeah, they are, too. And in today’s world, the kidneys most people have are kidney deficient and likely both yin and yang deficient because of the world we live in.

Abby (00:32:55) The go, go, go. Get up and drink coffee. Push, push, push.

Jeanette (00:33:00) Yeah. And the way we relax is to go home and watch TV. But all that visual stimulus is it’s not putting G into you. It’s pulling out of you, and it’s getting your emotions and your senses going. So you’re not relaxing by watching television.

Abby (00:33:18) So what would be a simple way that you could support your kidneys and replenish them?

Jeanette (00:33:26) The best way. I think the most highly effective way is to do the kidney set from the return to spring. That’s my go-to when I’m tired and I feel and there are obvious signs when you’re deficient. It’s like you have an ache in the heel you can’t. Or it’s difficult to fall asleep. You start forgetting things. Some indications in the eyes also tell that your kidney is deficient.

Abby (00:34:00) What would your eyes look like if you’re kidney deficient?

Jeanette (00:34:03) You have a bit of shadowing under the eyes. Yeah. That’s what I would say is for me when I look at somebody the best indication of the deficiency.

Abby (00:34:18) Maybe I’ll.

Jeanette (00:34:19) Go ahead. The lower back or lower back is another one in the morning. That’s a really good identifier of deficiency. That’s something that happens a lot with women during their menstrual cycle like the lower back. And so would that be more taxing on the kidneys for women at that time of the month?

Jeanette (00:34:37) Yeah, it’s the yin deficiency. Yeah. And there’s it’s the kidneys, but it’s also the channels, the main channels that become very deficient. And once those are deficient, the entire body is just. Just kind of collapses into deficiency. And then in terms of women’s health and the liver, she doesn’t move properly to move the blood. And the whole cycle happens where you’ll have pain, cramping, excessive bleeding or. Sometimes it’ll go the other way and it’ll be you won’t have the period. So it just depends on what’s happening.

Abby (00:35:24) It’s usually there’s not enough energy and the energy is not moving as it should be. Yeah. When you say channels, is that the same thing as the Energy Meridian Pathways that acupuncturists work with?

Jeanette (00:35:38) Yes. Yeah, they’re the same. I’ll use the same points. Qigong is Chinese medicine, they’re based on the same system. They all came out of the. The same. Tradition. It’s been around for thousands of years. So.

Abby (00:36:06) Yeah. For some of the books that I know, we had our textbooks in class. They’re about like three inches thick and there are five of them. And this is just like a little peek into the thousands of years old wisdom and research and practice and study. And in this modality.

Abby (00:36:23) It’s pretty amazing. Yeah. And I. I used to get acupuncture done, and I would go and it would hurt because, you know, opening up the channels and forcing it, the needle itself didn’t hurt too much. But I come home when I’d flop on my couch and I would drool because I was so tired from the g like being forced to move. But you’re, you’re doing you’re helping the cheetah move without the use of actual physical needles. And it’s it can to me, it felt like a gentler process, but also effective. It’s nice. I can be at home and I don’t drool after, but it’s just like it’s just. I mean, each process has its place, but, interestingly, we can do this work without needles as well.

Jeanette (00:37:10) Yeah, It’s the same. I mean, acupressure. It can be done without needles. Directing and emitting energy is the same as needles. And you can do a surface-emission or you can go deep. You can direct downwards or upwards, purge everything. I mean, it’s the same, similar, and I think it’s quite often a deeper treatment after qigong treatment. It depends on the type of treatment. It can wipe you out for several hours, especially purging. If you’re purging, you’re going through a detox.

Jeanette (00:38:03) So you will have various reactions. I’m just a woman I’ve been working with since December. I guess the first few sessions I worked with her, she would go through twitching her legs, her feet, and her entire body would twitch on the table. And the first time I worked on her all night, her body just twitched all night long. It just kept moving. And this is the energy opening up and moving through her body. So. You. You have to be ready if you’re going to have a treatment to do nothing for the rest of the day.

Jeanette (00:38:52)  Because if there’s some strong purging or opening of the channels or energy going where there virtually was no flow before. There will be various actions in your life and they will be very physical. Some people have incredibly vivid dreams during the treatment or after the treatment.

Abby (00:39:21) So what’s happening at the energetic level is also affecting their emotions, their mind. It’s all energy that’s interconnected.

Jeanette (00:39:29) Yeah, They’re psyche and their spiritual aspects. So. Yeah.

Abby (00:39:35) Yeah. And it’s so interesting that the things that we think and feel are also so interconnected to what’s going on in our body and our energy and our organ systems. Like, I’ve, I’ve seen people who’ve gotten surgery and they have really difficult emotional experience after because the Meridian Pathways have been cut and the surgery, the liver is overrun with processing things and it processes the emotions as well as filters and cleans the blood of toxins. So all of a sudden when the liver is burdened, then all emotions become overwhelming.

Abby (00:40:12) And it’s funny. It’s like we support the organ systems and it also addresses things like overwhelm and helps with things like anxiety, and depression, when we release these blockages. Yeah,  Something that I noticed, too, when I’ve been doing my check on exercises, it’s been giving me more energy physically, but I also feel just so, so light emotionally. Like I’ll go outside for a walk and I just look at everything. My husband laughs at me. Dave laughs at me. Like, every time we go out, you say it’s a beautiful day. No matter what kind of day it is. Like it is. It’s a beautiful day. Look at those trees. Just, like, feel happy.

Jeanette (00:40:55)  That’s good. It’s. Well, yeah, it’s because you’re. You’re because your body is functioning, right. And you don’t have that turbidity and toxicity in you. Yes. So you’re lighter. Everything’s lighter, everything’s brighter. Yeah. And like when I work on people, when I step into them, I can see the darkness or the gray, and like, I literally can see on one side, it’s quite common for me to step in. I can just see the darkness on this side. And it’s just because they’ve got some sort of constriction down on the ankle and the t isn’t flowing out. So it’s just building out. Building, building out. And it’s just as a matter of just basically opening up the feet and going and just directing it and then it clears itself.

Jeanette (00:41:51) It’s but that’s how you see it going outside, right? Because you don’t have that turbidity that you’re having to look through.

Abby (00:41:58) Yeah. It’s just like the filter that grays out. The world is not there and it’s so much easier to see the beauty of the world. Yeah, we briefly chatted about this before we started recording about just things popping into people’s energy fields. I was like, Oh, that wasn’t there last week. Where did this thing come from? Let’s clear it out. It’s like I think of it as energetic hygiene. Like we take a shower every day to clean our body, but then there’s our energy field. And wouldn’t it be great if we had this, like, normalized in our society where we learn how to like, feel the energy in our body and release things that are blocking it?

Jeanette (00:42:35) Yeah. And you can do, I mean it’s if you with a little bit of practice, you can do this yourself. It’s like you can set the energy by controlling your weight field. You can change the space around you by pulling in different energies. The higher frequency energies in your outer field will change the space because the energy in your outer fields is connected to the liver and the heart, which are the more spiritual energies connected to Shin. There is a higher frequency either. Different colors, but they also come with a set of emotions that are yang. Let me see how I can explain this positively.

Jeanette (00:43:37) Our emotions, like in terms of electrical charge, you have negative positives. So negative is very physical or low vibration type energy, which are the slower emotions like grief or fear or worries, OCD type rage, anger. And then you have the higher set of emotions which are from the liver, for example, compassion, kindness, or from the heart, which is peace, order. So if you are to tap into those emotions and those organs and bring them and just all you have to do is think about them. And they will come out and they will fill just basically your outer field will start activating. And the universal chi or the chi that is up there, the cosmic g will automatically come and it will move out from your way field and fill the space.

Jeanette (00:44:49) And it will move towards. The negative because it’s electrical and it will change space. So the people with other people in that space. It will transition and change the way their emotions are coming. It will give you. You will change because you’ve automatically used intention to change the emotion. So your whole state of being will change almost just like that, just by tapping into those high-frequency emotions. Or actually, I shouldn’t call them emotions. Virtues, I should call them.

Abby (00:45:35) Yeah. Passion, kindness. And is. Is it as simple as just thinking of compassion and kindness and just letting yourself feel that for no reason at all, and let that kind of radiate out from you feeling your energy?

Jeanette (00:45:48) Compassion. Yeah, exactly. Compassion is probably the easiest. It’s like flipping a switch. You can have compassion for something in any situation. If there’s someone who’s crying, you can have compassion for if there’s someone who’s just in this total worry, some friend you can have compassion for. So it’s almost like you flip the switch and you can just touch your liver and you can just go into compassion if you. And it doesn’t matter where you are, you should. It’s so easy to tap into that compassion, the heart.

Jeanette (00:46:38) It would be much more difficult because of their more difficult virtues of peace and harmony. It’s really difficult to tap into your heart amid chaos. So I always kind of go-to suggest that people go to the river and if they can’t do that, then think about guanine. That will change immediately as well. Just bring that energy down. Just all you have to do is think about the goddess of mercy, and that will change the energy around you as well. I mean.

Abby (00:47:19) Nine years ago when we were in training and our teacher had all of these different deities and gods and goddesses, those pictures up on the wall. And we were walking by and it was like, Oh, I walked my companion’s image and she spoke to me, the only one that day and very loud and clear, like, oh, wow, you’re here. Okay.

Abby (00:47:38) Very compassionate, loving, being. Yeah. And when you. And just so wait. She says that someone’s energy feels like an energetic feeling that radiates out from them and that extends beyond the physical body. Yeah.  And that’s the place that we want to have filled with Archie, our energy. And as we do that, then we don’t get other stray stuff collecting in our field.

Jeanette (00:48:04 ) Yeah, it’s, it’s some for the most part. It is your outer fields through the protective fields within you, within your body. They are part of you, they are you, they’re your energy. And the further out you go, the purer the energy and those are. And you want to keep them strong no matter where you are. You need to have your way to feel there because they are your boundaries. If your fields are kind of collapsing inwards, you’ll feel threatened, you’ll feel very vulnerable. But all you need to do is think of positive virtue. And it will just activate and you’ll have your own if you need boundaries or if you need your own space, for example, it will be there as soon as you activate.

Abby (00:49:07) It makes me think of a kind of meditation, metta meditation or called loving-kindness meditation. People just meditate, feeling, loving-kindness, just feeling it for somebody, someone something themself just radiating, loving-kindness. And they just imagine what their inner energy fields are like. People who practice that every day. What a beautiful way to bring beautiful energy into the world. But it’s also very, very protective because it would keep your energy very cleansed like their energetic hygiene is on point with that.

Jeanette (00:49:46) Yeah. But it’s also. It’s also a way of transforming other energies.

Jeanette (00:49:54) Yeah. Because so. Yeah, it’s just what it touches when you feel a good example is when you walk into a room and there’s someone there’s always somebody warm, you know? You know that they’re this warm, open, loving person. You don’t even have to see them. All you have to do is sense. And as soon as you sense them, you change. Yes. And it’s yeah, it’s that frequency. It just, you know, and if you can kind of activate your own and bring down the energy, it will eventually go out and transform. It’s like using this to set the intention to change the space.

Abby (00:50:44) Yeah, it’s beautiful.

Jeanette (00:50:45) That’s. Yeah

Abby (00:50:47) And it’s like a practice. It starts just feeling the compassion and seeing it grow and letting it grow from there. And I remember when we used to go to these other yoga classes, our favorite teacher, she was just like that. She was just so loving and warm and kind. And in class she would say, every class, like the beginning of class, you welcome people, get people into the energy. And she would say, I think it was the beginning or end. I love you to everybody in class like collectively, but you could feel the energy of it was like she meant it and it was so touching to have this one, this person you don’t know, but just this unconditional love radiating out from them. And it was just such a beautiful, transformative energy and experience to be in, just washing in this person’s love. It’s just amazing.

Jeanette (00:51:37) Yeah. It’s just, you know, it’s. It’s that frequency from that. That virtue or emotion that it’s just it’s universal. It’s just all surrounding everything. Everything is full. Even the furniture, the, you know, my laptop, my books, they’re all radiating. And we’re moving to that frequency. It’s beautiful. It’s that vibration of the frequency.

Abby (00:52:14) It’s a beautiful frequency to fill yourself with and to fill your space or your home with too. Yeah,

Jeanette (00:52:21)  And it’s when you have compassion, you have compassion for the world.

Abby (00:52:29) Well, on that note, we’ll begin wrapping it up, but it has been beautiful. Is there anything else that you want to share, any messages you’d want for people to know about, you know, healing or well-being or energy or whatever you like?

Jeanette (00:52:47)  I’m just trying to think. I think for the most part. To understand qigong and what she is you have to have to look inwards. And you also, to feel her, you have to feel she or you have to have cheated. So if you’ve never worked with qigong before, don’t be afraid. If you can’t feel it, it just means that you don’t have enough qi in your body built up so that you can recognize what it is. So maybe go and take some cheek or some tai chi or qigong or some sort of form that actually. And actually, it could be yoga. Yoga builds cheap as well. Or meditation will build. Just take some beginner courses and start building the QI in your body. And that will enable you to feel. Chee, which is you’re feeling a vibration, a frequency of energy.

Abby (00:54:05) And thank you. It’s like an awakening of the energetic field of awakening to learn how to feel this dimension.

Jeanette (00:54:15) Yeah.  It’s. It’s an amazing, amazing thing. Just by running one hand over the other, I can feel it’s just an incredible feeling of feeling the tree.

Abby (00:54:28) It’s beautiful. And so people can find you. So they can find you. In the mentorship. Coming up in May, you’re working with our current mentor group, which is wonderful because we do such powerful shifting and spiritual and shamanic and transformative work and it takes a lot of qi to do that. And so I’m just so happy that you are there helping the group to help to support the group, to help them lift their energy out so they become stronger. And everything that we move through becomes lighter and easier by extension in their lives too. So really happy to have you here. I feel like it’s such an integral part of healing and transformation and energy work and spiritual work and emotional work is just having this strong foundation. And I feel like the Qigong is just so good at creating that.

Jeanette (00:55:27)  Yeah. It’s so nice to be able to teach people how to connect because the connection is quite easy. It’s just for the first time to connect up there and be. Being there is quite eye-opening.

Abby (00:55:43) Yes. It’s amazing.

Jeanette (00:55:44)  It’s an amazing feeling. Yeah, I love doing what I do.

Abby (00:55:52) It’s you know, I can tell. It shows. And on that note, too, if people want to book a one-on-one session with you, they can find more information about you at mindbodyfree.com/jeanette, which is J, e, a, n, e, t, t, and e. Well, thank you for being here, my dear. It’s been a pleasure.

Jeanette (00:56:18) Yeah, well, thanks for inviting me. It was fun. Always fun. Take care.

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19-Come Home to Yourself

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Come Home To Yourself

In episode 19 – Come Home to Yourself, we unpack the symptoms and reasons for feeling disconnected from your true self, and what you can do to reconnect with who you really are. This episode is for anyone who struggles with feeling stuck, alone, anxious or depressed. Or for anyone who feels disconnected from their emotions, body or life.

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello. Welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I’m so excited to have you here. I am a healer, a coach, and a mentor. I help people to heal their minds, their body, their spirits, remember their magic, their purpose, and share their gifts with the world. And today, I want to talk to you about the symptoms that so many of us are experiencing around the world, and have been experiencing for many generations, for many centuries, this concept of connection and disconnection.

Abby (00:00:45) And I feel when we get down to the root of things, the biggest core piece that I’ve found is a sense of disconnection that creates suffering, and that is a disconnection with our true selves, with who we are authentic, with our spirit, with our heart and soul, disconnection with our body, with the messages our body is giving us. When it’s telling us, Hey, I need you to slow down. I need you to let go of these thoughts. I need you to eat or drink differently, to live differently. Messages from Mother Nature.

Abby (00:01:22) The way we live on the planet. We don’t feel that connection with Mother Earth. We don’t realize that when we damage the Earth, we’re damaging ourselves, both spiritually and practically. The Earth is our mother. It is literally what makes up the elements of our bodies, and it is the one that sustains life, that keeps us alive, that nourishes us. And as we harm the Earth, if we put toxins in the Earth, those toxins end up right back to us. And spiritually, the earth is a part of who we are too. We are an extension and evolution of nature, and to harm the mother is to harm the self and each other.

Abby (00:02:06) If we feel disconnected from each other, if we feel isolated, if we feel alone, it is like the leaf that falls off of the tree. We don’t have the nourishment of the larger community, the larger organism that is the collective, and that connection with each other. It can lift us, it can inspire us. It is where we go to co-create and collaborate and feel loved and held and share our love. So connection and disconnection, it’s such a core piece of how we feel in life, how we experience life and ourselves.

Abby (00:02:49) And with that, there is the ego. So the egoic mind is a part of creating disconnection, as was part of creating separation, and that has a place that has its value in the physical world on the Earth plane, we need some degree of separation between self and other so that I know I am me and you are you when you are in pain doesn’t mean that I am in pain. And that’s good because it means I can take care of you and it’s a balance. So if there’s too much sense of separation, I can forget that I am also connected to you.

Abby (00:03:30) I am one leaf on the tree, but I’m also, by extension, the whole tree and connected to you as another leaf on that tree. So it’s finding the balance and it’s remembering that within all of these different perspectives and senses of separation, there’s also the greater wholeness of each of us, of life, of the universe. Alan Watts said You are a focal point in which the whole universe looks out. You can imagine that within each of you, as Rumi said, the universe dwells inside you. Within each of us, there is an infinite and infinite expanse of consciousness of possibility, because we are connected to all that is, and all that is is connected to us.

Abby (00:04:28) And the way that we lookout is a focal point of all of that. And our consciousness is a beautiful celebration of life because if we don’t have a sense of separation, it’s harder to experience individuality, to experience new things if you’re simply infinity forever. So we come into this world of duality, of light and dark, and all of the shades in between. And that gives us the breadth and depth of. Periods of life where we can have new experiences as individual consciousness, and in those experiences grow and evolve our consciousness.

Abby (00:05:11) Until many believe, I sense that we are eventually ready to return to a greater, infinite sense of oneness. We go through these cycles, the birth of the soul, this individual experience of learning, and then coming back home to oneness. And with that, there’s also the individual sense of separation from self. So if you think about each of us as a soul, as a spirit, we have our unique essence, our unique consciousness, the signature. That is who we are, our energy.

Abby (00:05:53) And we are that observing consciousness, the witness having this experience of life, making decisions, experiencing the results of those decisions as we go throughout our lifetimes and as we go throughout these lifetimes, as we go through simply one lifetime growing up as a baby and into adulthood, we are biologically programmed within instinct to fit in with the tribe so that we can stay alive because we not as much today.

Abby (00:06:30) Well, yeah, actually, we are still very much in many ways dependent on each other and civilization on society for keeping us alive in this big, wild world of earth where we support each other we’re meant to have different rules that we then share and complement with each other. And this societal structure, this part of us that is social, wants to fit in with the tribe. We are biologically programmed to fit in. When we come into this world, we see as babies, can I have a place where I belong? Because that is how I will survive.

Abby (00:07:08) Especially when we’re young. We’re helpless. Can I be loved? Can I belong? Is what we’re looking for. And so we can mold ourselves. We learn to mold ourselves into the ways that we think other people want us to be. And we do that as a form of survival so that we can stay amongst the tribe and be accepted. And so that can mean smiling when we don’t feel happy or saying we will want to do something or will do something when it doesn’t feel right in our bodies.

Abby (00:07:44) And that can evolve more and more into growing up and taking a job that we feel we should take, even though we don’t want it, or following a life path that doesn’t excite or inspire us at all, maybe even makes us feel less and less alive because we think that’s the path we’re quote-unquote, supposed to take. We take it. So it’s like a habit that develops from a very young, initially out of a need for survival. And then it just becomes this habit of doing what others want us to do instead of listening to what we want to do. And as babies and young children, we come into the world with very good boundaries usually.

Abby (00:08:25) So children are not typically shy about telling you how they feel, what they do want, what they don’t want, what they’re comfortable with, what they aren’t comfortable with. They can vocalize that quite loudly. But as we get older, we learn to calm that part of ourselves. We learn to appease others, and that’s not all bad. We do have a degree of compliance that all live and work together as a toddler. We don’t want to let them take the crayon and draw all over your friends or our friend’s wall or our wall, typically. So it’s a balance, right? But we learn as kids, we get this habit of doing what others want us to do, even when we don’t want to.

Abby (00:09:11) And over enough time, we can even forget what it is that we even wanted in the first place. And that part of us, that inner voice that says that points you in the direction of what feels good for you. It gets muffled out and it gets quiet down behind layers and layers of social conditioning to belong within the tribe. And that’s where we can fall into patterns of depression and anxiety. This feeling of dullness or emptiness in life, because we’re going through these motions and these motions that aren’t exciting or even really feel like us. So for me, I remember going through a period of my life where I felt like I was just living in this dream-like I was living somebody else’s life.

Abby (00:10:06) And I felt alienated from my own life and myself. And later on, I went down a healing journey through plant medicines and shamanic training, and much more. But it was a symptom of not being connected with and aligned with my authentic self. I’m not even knowing where or what that part of me was. I had been going through the motions for so long of doing what my egoic mind thought I wanted, what I identified with as successful and good. And this will make me happy.

Abby (00:10:45) And just trying to push through to make that work, even though it wasn’t what my heart really, truly wanted. And some of us can go through our whole life this way of not knowing the deeper part of ourselves inside and others. You know, we’ll get glimpses of that, those moments that feel so alive and free, where we’re touching our soul and even maybe expressing a part of ourselves. And that’s such a beautiful experience to taste that and to dip your toe into that. And for those of you who felt that you know what I’m talking about, those moments that are just so vivid, so present, so beautiful in that way.

Abby (00:11:32) And if you haven’t felt that, hey, that is okay, it is still available to you, that part of you is still inside. And a lot of people right now are feeling a calling, the sense of, I need to find something. I don’t know what that is, but I need to find it. And I felt that calling years ago when I was on my beginning, my path of healing and awakening. And I think those two things kind of go together like two sides of the same coin or two parts of an interdimensional door to your soul and the universe. But that calling is the biggest place that comes from is your soul.

Abby (00:12:17) It’s that part of you that is saying, Hey, find me. You need to find me. I’m here. I’m here. I’m waiting for you to come to find me so that we can dance in this magic of life. So that we can share these gifts. Unlock these gifts that are inside of you. This purpose that you have here in this pivotal time on earth is calling for us to awaken to who we truly are and to share our gifts with the world, those gifts that are so needed. I feel in a sense that calling is a part of this awakening, this birthing of consciousness, of a new era on earth, perhaps. And answering that calling can feel overwhelming.

Abby (00:13:07) It can feel like, where do I even begin? I know I need to do something, but what? What do I need to do? Where do I need to find this? There’s this overwhelming urge, but the details are not laid out. I don’t know where to begin looking, and that’s how I felt anyway. And if you’re there, then I feel you. I’ve been there. For me, it was overwhelming. It was all-consuming in many ways. And I just knew I needed to find this thing that seemed just beyond my reach, just beyond my grasp. Or I could almost pierce through the veil and grab it. But I just couldn’t quite bring it into clarity, into conscious awareness yet.

Abby (00:13:50) And so I spent seven years learning how to do that, learning a path back to myself through traveling different parts of the world, working with shamans, studying yoga philosophy and practices, learning shamanic healing, how to work with the mind and release unhealthy patterns and beliefs, and working with plant medicines that are expansive and consciousness and deeply healing for me anyway. And working with energy and learning qigong and Chinese shamanism and learning how to integrate all of these things, which are both tools for healing and awakening. So two sides of the interdimensional door as we heal the painful things. Which are things like past traumas.

Abby (00:14:47) Emotions get stuck in the body and cause the energy to stop flowing in the body. Which leads to pain, fatigue, illness, beliefs that are not in alignment with our true nature, with our true essence as we learn to release these things. And with that also external energies. So things like entities that can kind of run amok, kind of look at them as opportunistic energies that can kind of create chaos in people’s lives until you learn how to deal with them. So as we release things like this, we are healing. And as we release things like this, we are pulling off the layers between your awareness and your true self.

Abby (00:15:32) So you can imagine every untrue belief, like not feeling worthy, not feeling good enough or strong enough or good or lovable, or like you belong. Those are all different layers, different veils, covering up your true self. And as you pull off each layer, it’s healing. It is like pulling a thorn out of your side. That was creating anxiety, overwhelm, depression, and pain. As you pull that out, you naturally begin healing your body, your spirit, your mind. And as you do that, it is easier and easier to connect with that part of you that is infinite. That is why that is magical. That has all the answers to who you are and what you’re meant to be doing here in this lifetime.

Abby (00:16:22) So they happen at the same time, layer by layer, piece by piece, releasing that, which is untrue. And as we do that, this is the first step that I do with my mentor students and my mentorship program, which is beginning to heal what creates the most suffering, healing it from the nervous system, from the body, from the spirit, from the mind. And as we do that, we’re creating space inside of ourselves to feel at home in the body, to feel at ease and calm. That’s number one. So if we’re carrying around, I like to joke that it’s like a big boulder.

Abby (00:16:59) So if we’re carrying around grief and depression, I have this big boulder in my arms and whatever I do, I’m going to bring that with me. So let me go figure out my life purpose. I might just bring this boulder with me as I go. And it’s like, Oh, no, we can’t do that. It’s too exhausting and taxing and distracting to be carrying around all that pain. So the first thing we do is learn how to put the boulder down. And as you do that, there’s so much more space and freedom and energy inside of you. And from there we can connect with who you truly are.

Abby (00:17:34) And that is a process of remembering, of coming home to your heart and letting your heart guide you to give you messages and insight and wisdom. And the heart is a portal to the soul. And in this portal, you learn how to connect with your divine essence inside of you. And you learn how to let that guide you. And you learn how to connect with other parts of you to navigate this life on earth from your most wise, magical, infinite self. So we learn how to listen to the heart, how to speak with your future self who is already doing all of the things that you’re meant to be doing.

Abby (00:18:17) So you don’t have to figure out, How do I do it? What is my purpose? What does that look like? That’s not something that your conscious mind will have easy access to. So that can be stressful trying to figure that all out so we don’t do that. Instead, we go inward, we connect with your inner wisdom and we move forward in time and get a glimpse of what your future self is already doing. And we ask that part of you how you got there, what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, all of those kinds of questions. And we bring that wisdom, that insight, that guidance back into your life today.

Abby (00:18:55) And from there, having tasted this future life that is available to you and getting clarity on how to get there, now you have this clear path before you where you know where you’re going and you know how you’re doing it. And then it’s just taking step by step, one foot in front of the other, moving towards this place that is clear and beautiful in front of you. And it is so much more fun to manifest from this place of insight and wisdom and magic and all of the things that we do can move us in that direction. And what an incredible thing to have your mind be a servant to your heart, to support you in creating the life you want to live, but already getting to see and touch and feel what that life is.

Abby (00:19:47) So you know, you’re moving in the right direction. This all comes from connecting with who you truly are, with letting go of the beliefs of who we think we should be, of who others want us to be, of what is acceptable to be letting go of all of that so that you can remember and discover who you truly are and what you are here to do in this world and this lifetime. And it’s a beautiful thing to awaken to. And as you awaken to that. Your life begins to change in ways that you couldn’t predict. Things start aligning as you realize what you want and who you are.

Abby (00:20:37) The world starts bringing that in front of your vision, in front of you and offering to you more and more of that so you can begin creating more and more of that in your life. And things shift in synchronistic, beautiful, magical, unpredictable ways. And it’s part of just being on your path. Part of being connected with who you truly are. I don’t want to say they get easier because there will always be challenges in life. But when you have the tools to release the triggers that come up for each of us, that’s just part of being alive on earth. We’ve all been through experiences this lifetime and other lifetimes, releasing the triggers.

Abby (00:21:24) You learn how to do that to create space and freedom inside of you. You learn how to heal your body through things like breath and movement and awareness and intention. Very gentle things that are surprisingly, very, very powerful for healing. As you learn how to listen to your inner wisdom, to access your inner magic and the gifts that are wanting to come through you and be expressed in the world. As you do that, it becomes a different way of experiencing life where, yes, there are challenges, but you get stronger and you have this inner guidance system to help you navigate them. And with that, it’s also not about doing it all alone.

Abby (00:22:13) If I mentioned we’re here to support each other and find your tribe and your community, your people who will support you. For who you are, who will welcome you, you know, where you’re not too much, where what you were. The magic is wanted, where the healing gifts are wanted for those who are ready to receive it, who are ready to talk about it and grow together. That’s a big part of it, too, is having that sense of community where you can come and practice being who you truly are and be celebrated for that and grow together with others who are like you in their way.

Abby (00:22:59) So for me, that was the culmination of seven years of experimenting and trying and failing and trying again and traveling and learning from all of these different, incredible, beautiful beings in different parts of the world, offering gifts in different ways. And with that, I decided my purpose here is to help others awaken to their magic, heal inside of them, and to share their gifts with the world. And so I created a roadmap where over six months we connect through a supportive, accepting, beautiful community of people where you are welcome exactly as you are. And we learn tools, the tools that I found to be the most powerful, direct, clear ways of finding freedom, of connecting with who you are, and sharing your gifts with the world.

Abby (00:23:59) So we learn these tools, this road map back home to yourself, to feeling at home inside of you, where you belong, to remembering who you are and what you came here to do, and to share that with the world. And that’s what I teach in my mentorship program, this six-month journey of coming home to yourself ultimately. If you are feeling that calling in your path at this time, know that you are not alone, that you do have incredible gifts to share. We all do it in our way. They are there inside of you. Everyone comes into the world with their own original medicine, with the gifts that they’ve come here to share.

Abby (00:24:46) And because you have them, you are worthy and you are good enough to share them and to access this part inside of you. And it’s just a matter of the will and some support and guidance to do that, to find your way home and to express who that being is and the way that feels most freeing and joyful to you. So if that’s something that calls to you, my next mentorship is starting in May, and it’s going to be a beautiful class. Each class just feels so magical and each group is so different and beautiful in its way. So it was taught by myself and one of my previous classmates when we were studying shamanic Chinese medicine. Her name is Jeanette Lee, and she teaches Qigong, a Chinese energetic medicine within the mentorship as well.

Abby (00:25:47) So she’s teaching people how to work with their energy field, how to awaken their energy field, how to heal their body through the use of energy work. It’s really beautiful to have her supporting people in the group as well. So if this is something that calls to you, even if you’re not sure, but a part of you feels like this could be a path for me, then I encourage you to reach out to schedule a free discovery, call with myself, and from there you can feel into what this is all about and check inside to see if this is right for you. So sending you, my love. If you have any questions, you can reach me at mindbodyfree.com.

Abby (00:26:37) You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at your mind, body free and wherever you are in your path, in your journey, I’m sending you so much love and I know that you can create you can do whatever it is you’re meant to be doing in this life. All right. Take care. Talk soon.

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Body Awakening

Abby Body awakening
Abby Body Awakening

Body Awakening:
My Journey of Physical Healing

In episode 18, Body Awakening, I share my journey of having developed digestive issues 7 years ago that had been getting progressively worse, to the point of barely being able to stay upright. Here I share my process of healing and what it’s taken to regain energy in my body.

Connect with Abigail:
Instagram @yourmindbodyfree
Facebook @yourmindbodyfree
Mentorship Program

Mentioned in this episode:

Candida Healing
Dave Moss Coach
Chinese Energetic Medicine with Jeanette Lee


 

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Looking for more support?
Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss. I am a healer. I’m a mentor and guide. I help people to heal their body, mind, and spirit, connect with their passion and purpose, and share their gifts in this world. And today I am back and back after a little break. So thanks. How’s it going? Nice to see you again. Or nice for you to hear me again. I don’t know.

Abby (00:00:30) Anyway, nice to connect. And I just wanted to share a little bit about where I’ve been lately and my journey and what I’ve been doing to help myself heal. So it’s been busy. I’m running a mentorship and an integrative healing coach training right now, which is a lot of fun, really great groups, and amazing people. And with that, I’ve also been doing a lot of work to heal my body. So I’ve been on this journey of emotional healing for quite some time, and that kind of led me into Peru and Ayahuasca and shamanic Chinese medicine.

Abby (00:01:16) Yeah. So desire and the desire to hear led me to Peru and ayahuasca. And then the desire, the burning desire to find my purpose, to answer this calling this feeling that I need to find something more and what I meant to be doing. So that led me down. Shamanic Chinese medicine, Vipassana meditation, linguistic programming, hypnotherapy, a bunch of other tools for healing and letting go of the blocks, the beliefs, and the patterns between my spirit and reality. I guess I could say it that way. Lifting the veil that’s been installed by my mind and the beliefs within the mind and all of the energies attached to that. So that was the initial journey.

Abby (00:02:08) And then a few years ago, the second time I went down to Peru, I was there for two months and I did end up getting a lot of stomach bugs, you know, food poisoning symptoms. I accidentally one time forgot to rinse my toothbrush, not in the tap water, in the purified water instead. So the one time I didn’t do that, I ended up getting quite sick the next day and coincidentally were also in a very long and powerful witch Uma ceremony. And I had been chosen, along with some of the other facilitators, to be in the ceremony and hold space. And I took that job very seriously and I just sat and meditated and witnessed all of them, the wild streams of consciousness from the group floating around.

Abby (00:03:09) And I just acted as a witness, as light like a candle in the darkness, releasing all the stuff that was coming up, hoping to hold space for the shaman, doing her work. And I think with that there is also some spiritual and energetic stuff I may not have fully navigated as well as I could have. Or, you know, I guess I did navigate to the best of my ability at that time. But knowing what I know now and thinking back, that may have been a factor as well. So anyway, I ended up getting sick and I came home from Peru. My digestion, my gut was off. I was also going through a lot of emotional challenges at that time. I was trying to decide which direction I should go in my life, and it was challenging for myself, for my partner.

Abby (00:04:04) And so there’s a lot of emotional distress, which is also very tied to gut distress. And so there is that. And then I went to India, I think a couple of months later, and I got food poisoning there and got sick again. And the gut distress was even worse. And I was just kind of. My diet consisted mostly of carbs in both Peru and India, kind of plant-based, lots of oats in India, lots of fruit. And so leading lots of sugar, so under a lot of emotional distress and had probably also picked up at least one bug and at least one of those countries. So it was all kind of this breeding ground for, you know, pathogens and co-infections within my digestive system and my gut.

Abby (00:04:58) And I came home and just noticed some different things like, oh, I can’t drink alcohol. And maybe that’s just because I’m more spiritual. Now, sugar seemed to bother me more and I would get more tired. And at first, it was like, okay, I can cope with this. I didn’t think too much of it. But as time went on, as the years went on, it seemed to get worse and worse. And I got to a point a little over a year ago where I just decided I can’t. I need to do something about this because I was so tired. And there’s lots of brain fog and just all kinds of problems with digestion. And I wasn’t able to properly function and had very little motivation in my business. It’s very hard to be motivated when your body’s not working properly.

Abby (00:05:51) And so I decided I needed to do something about it. So I learned about Candida overgrowth, what that is. And I looked into the symptoms of it and I just read like I found some great resources online at candidacleanser.com I can drop on the show notes and there is a lot of education there and a lot of videos. People who had been through this experience kind of shared the science of what’s going on and the stages based on your symptoms. And I just really resonated as true in my body of this is something that I’m going through.

Abby (00:06:28) And I felt so hopeful to have finally found somebody who could give me some answers because I had gone to my Western doctor and all of these uncomfortable tests, and they didn’t find anything wrong with me. But I knew there was something wrong with me. And having found this, I felt, okay, I’m not alone. Other people have been through this, are going through this, but there are a lot of people who have gotten better. And this is an actual serious issue. Some people to some people it can be fatal if not treated properly.

Abby (00:07:04) It was validating the experience I was having in my body and it was helpful to have a plan and how to move forward. And it is challenging or it was challenging for those, especially those first few weeks going on something called a candidate diet, which you starve Candida, which is a yeast that naturally occurs in the body, but under the stress and with too many with the stress, with too many toxins, antibiotics, medications, it can mutate into a fungal form and spread throughout the body, creating something called leaky gut and moving through the tight junctions in the lining of the gut and into the bloodstream.

Abby (00:07:56) And then from there it can migrate to other organs and affect them and could even cause organ failure, which if not treated properly. So part of what is involved in healing that is going on is the Candida diet, and that’s a really important step and that’s a diet that essentially starves the Candida of sugar because that’s what it eats. And so it’s a lot like. The Keto diet minus the dairy, because that also feeds Candida. And minus any processed foods or processes are kind of fake sugars. Because with Candida also comes something called leaky gut, where the digestive system becomes very sensitive because food is passing through the gut lining and into the bloodstream and going to places where it doesn’t belong and creating an inflammatory response.

Abby (00:08:51) So the body develops a lot of food allergies and sensitivities. So you have to move into a Whole Foods diet that is kind of really gentle on the gut for some time as that’s healing. So anyway, as you go into this, I went into this diet and like a lot of people experience, there’s this die-off symptom of the Candida dying as well as the Candida starving. So when Candida was starving, it felt like you were starving and you were furious. And because you just want something carbs and it’s a very emotional experience you can get. So I was getting waves of rage, anxiety, or depression, and these are all very common die-off symptoms.

Abby (00:09:37) But if you didn’t know what was going on, it could be very distressing in a way it is already distressing, but it’s comforting to know that this is a natural and temporary part of the process. So I went through that and I started integrating supplements, antifungals, things that would help to kill off the Candida and at the pace as gradual enough that my body could cleanse it out, my liver could cleanse the toxins from that process out of my system. So it is a very big learning process and in many ways continues to be. And yeah, it was very tiring, like more tiring times.

Abby (00:10:21) The body needs a lot of energy to heal. And I felt worse before I felt better. So as I was going through this experience, I was getting rashes on my skin, I was getting ways where I felt dizzy and had to lie down. I spent as many days as I spent just on the couch lying down, able to do little more than that. And those days gradually started becoming less and less able to walk a little bit. I was able to do a little bit more. I was able to work on my laptop from the couch lying down. I was able to do a little more, and a little more and build my business and work with clients.

Abby (00:11:01) And that to me is so fulfilling and so rewarding and purposeful. So getting to do that, even though my health wasn’t the greatest, it was a light in my life and it continues to be a light in my life doing this work. I love it. And with that I did notice eventually I started to plateau so I would do something that my energy would be such a thin line of having just enough where I would go out and I would do something physically strenuous or like moving house physically and emotionally strenuous, just totally wrecked me and I would be back out. And then being a woman and getting my cycle each month, I would just totally wreck me. And so this went on for months and months and months.

Abby (00:11:51) Fast forward to a couple of months ago. I’ve been on this Candida slash keto diet for almost a year. And if I were to go off of it in any way, I just kind of my body reacts, and I kind of regress. So it got frustrating and I felt like, okay, I’m still tired. A lot of the time. I’ve reached this point where I need more help, I need more support. And at around that same time I said, Hey, the universe, I need help, I have something I need to do that is beyond my awareness right now because I have a lot of skills. I am good at emotional healing, really good at shamanic and spiritual healing.

Abby (00:12:33) I know a lot of things and I’ve done a lot of things, but at the same time was I felt like I was inside of this situation, inside of this body, that I couldn’t just work, that something is going on in the body that I needed to listen to and I need to honor and integrate some kind of practice for healing. So at around this time, one of my previous classmates from a kind of shaman school, we were studying shamanic Chinese medicine and medical qigong together, reached out and said, Hey, I want to help you. I wanted to give you these sessions. I saw your post about Candida. I just feel called to work with you.

Abby (00:13:13) So I thought, wow, thank you. Who is, you know, my friend who was also an angel? How beautiful. So I was working with Janette. You know, once a week for. Well, I was working with Jeannette a little less regularly for several months, and then we started working together once a week for two months. And that was beautiful and powerful. It was like 2 hours every week doing this, this remote energy healing session from her. And then she also gave me these exercises to do on my own, these kinds of specialized qigong exercises. And so I know a lot of qigong exercises that I’ve learned that are helpful and powerful engines that have some other ones that she has studied separately because this is kind of this is her world.

Abby (00:14:03) We’re going to have her on soon and let her speak to it. But she kind of lives and breathes qigong and these kinds of exercises. So she taught me these really powerful, really beautiful ones. And when she first showed them to me, I said, okay, that’s great. Wow, I feel this is amazing. Okay, I’m going to do this. And I didn’t do it because I was tired and I was frustrated and I was just angry with life and it is not easier than it should be. Yada, yada, yada. And so. A few months later, we’re doing this work. She gives me some shorter exercises that are also very powerful and I’m able to do a couple of those.

Abby (00:14:43) And I thought, wow, I notice a big difference when I do that. And I thought I should do this. I think doing this every day will help. And then, of course, I didn’t do it for a long time. And then, I thought, okay, there’s a mental block I need to get over because I think the thing that’s stopping me here is me because I need to do my inner work. I need to do these exercises to move forward. So in my coach training class, we do these sort of recorded demo sessions that the students can listen to to get more examples of how different tools can be used. And I asked my husband, who is a life coach, to demo some of these tools with me to help my coach train students.

Abby (00:15:30) And so he coached me on wanting to and on why I wasn’t building up or doing my practice. So in my morning practice, when I get up, I do a bit of yoga, I do qigong, or at least I do these exercises from Janette. And he coached me on that. And if you want to hear it, let me know. I can record it. I can post it in another episode, so let me know about that. But anyway, he coached me on that. I was able to shed some tears of relief, get over this block, and within like 15 minutes. He’s a great coach. Anyway, after that, I thought I was able to get back to my practice because I had a personal healing practice, you know, on and off throughout my life.

Abby (00:16:16) And I had been neglecting it for quite a while and I knew part of my mind now, like I’m being called, to integrate what I know and with my body and to come home into the body. And so I started doing my practice again after getting coached by Dave the lovely Dave Moss. And I started doing these shorter exercises that Jeanette gave me. And they were so sure there are only about 3 minutes per pose. And I had about, I don’t know, like five of them. And so like 15 minutes.

Abby (00:16:57) And I was doing these exercises. They’re very physical like this. It’s just tendons stretching. So just like one of these, pushing your arms out to the side is stretching your middle finger up to the ceiling as high as you can and really opening up the chest and bringing the shoulders back and down. And you’re just kind of standing there with your arms to the side. But when you went for me, when I’m pushing and stretching my tendons, my whole body starts shaking. I feel all this heat pouring off of me. My hands and arms start tingling.

Abby (00:17:27) This is just a lot going on with these exercises because it’s opening up my energy pathways and it’s releasing blockages. And these are the blockages that are causing me to feel tired, to not digest properly, for my body to not function properly. So there are these blockages that have been accumulating for a very long time. And what I was doing in these exercises is opening up and releasing them. So this is not like if you were to see this process, it’s not a pretty graceful yoga flow. It’s hard, it is a shaky process. I’m often moaning or yelling or, you know, breathing heavily.

Abby (00:18:09) It’s messy. It’s like a little exorcism every time I do it. And after I do it, I feel amazing. And so I just started noticing I have energy. I have more energy than I’ve had in years. I can walk. I feel the power in my hips and my core. And I thought, Oh my God, this is so amazing, so amazing to have this sort of energy in my tank when it felt like my tank was just barely running on fumes for years. Because of this whole Peru-India thing that was like seven years ago. So this is the first thing that has impacted the way I feel in my body.

Abby (00:18:51) So it was motivating to do it more. And I started doing it more. And then when I had Energy Trip, my weekly energy session with Jeanette, she said, Hey, you’re able to pull Chee into your body. Now your things are flowing. It’s so different. And like, I know I’m doing the work you gave me to thank that work. But I needed to get over the mental block and to do the work. But now that I am, I’ve been feeling much better. I just feel so much happier. I’m just so overjoyed to be able to have a body that is not, you know, not perfect. It’s not like working 100%.

Abby (00:19:29) But I’ve got the energy to deal with whatever is going on now because without the energy that everything is too much, just too overwhelming the will to even do anything about it. It’s just not there. But with this energy, I can do it. I can deal with anything. I can overcome anything. So with that, I also felt way better emotionally, just emotionally regulated, because I’m working through these exercises and my liver purifies the blood and also regulates processes, emotions. So now that those channels are flowing properly, things just don’t bother me as much.

Abby (00:20:11) Opening up the heart space, supporting the spleen, which is tied to digestion. So I just have a lot more energy and I’ve been feeling called even do the exercises that Jeanette originally gave me that are longer, but they go deep and integrate those into my practice and just feeling just this deepening connection with my body, deepening, healing, this increasing energy and just this sense of gratitude for life and appreciation for this beautiful world that we’re in. And there are times when I remember feeling this way, too, when I did a lot of qigong when I was studying it in my earlier days.

Abby (00:20:58) Now that I’m getting back into doing a lot more as I feel a big shift, like a shake and I release, I feel a block release, the channel opens up and my eyes open and there’s this sense of vividness and crispness through the way I see through my eyes and this intense sense of presence and connection with my environment and my body. And it feels so different, so vivid, and crystal clear. And it’s like this moment of awakening that I’m experiencing through my body, through doing these exercises. And with that, it’s not even a place where any to write down.

Abby (00:21:40) I work through things in my head or, you know, process. It’s just breathing and moving and feeling and just stretching and just very much doing these exercises where a lot of the whole exercise could be sitting in one place and just doing some gentle arm movements and holding something for quite a while. But it’s moving our energy through my body and this very powerful, incredibly healing way. And I’ve always felt and in my experience, that healing is also awakening these to go hand in hand as we heal and release the blocks of what is untrue, what is painful, what you get on the other side of it is this deeper awareness and a deeper connection with what is true for you with what is free.

Abby (00:22:34) So as I’m releasing these blocks into my body, releasing these blocks from my body, my body is going through or I’m going through an awakening experience within my body. It’s a body awakening if you will. And it’s hard to imagine. It’s something that you need to experience as this sense of aliveness and vividness and clarity and lightness and beauty. And it’s just this connection with my body and with my environment that’s just so profoundly beautiful to experience. And so, yeah, it’s motivating, it’s encouraging. It’s something that my body begins to want to do. Before, when I was tired, it took extra energy to get up and do my dang exercises because I knew it would help.

Abby (00:23:30) I know it would be physical, I would shake a lot. I probably make lots of weird noises, but then I would feel much better for the rest of the day. Now I wake up and I crave it. My body tells me, Hey, I want you to go back and I want you to do that exercise that Jeanette told you showed you a while ago. So I go back and I do it. I feel amazing. I feel more things open up. I go for a walk with my dogs. I feel my alignment in my body is just. The way it’s supposed to be. And it’s just such an incredible thing.

Abby (00:24:04) And now it’s something that I’m kind of seeing as my part-time job while I’m healing the stuff that, you know, this quote-unquote chronic issues that have been here for years, I’m healing it inside of myself. And when things started to shift and it’s been giving me energy treatments for we started last fall. So it’s been a while, I think it was last September. And so she’s been giving me these treatments for some time. It was when I started doing the exercises myself, but she said, Hey, your energy feels way better, things are different.

Abby (00:24:42) And that’s when I noticed things feeling way better and different within my body, within my life. And it was something that shifted where I just decided, All right, I went on a diet. I know I can do hard things. I can just do my exercises even when I don’t feel like it. I can just get up each morning and do it. And if for some reason I miss a morning, I will get up and do it the next day. And it was like that switch was like, I just turned a light switch on where I decided to take an active role in my health and my healing. And instead of being frustrated with life and resentful that it wasn’t easier, that it was, you know, you know, my husband can eat whatever he wants and be fine, but I could sit there being all, you know, my pity party about that.

Abby (00:25:33) I could get up and do something about it. And that’s what I did. And that’s when everything started to change. And I’m so happy to have to be experiencing this, because it is this deeper level of integration, of taking responsibility for my health and my well-being. And with this, I’ve also been doing the emotional pieces of speaking to the issue, the pattern, and the reason for it of clearing entities. I’m a shaman. I do lots of entity clearing, so it’s a thing. It’s okay. Just entities attached to beliefs, you know, just darker energies.

Abby (00:26:13) So what the clearing of that along the way, which is also a dimension of this, but this part that I was missing was the personal practice and doing these really powerful qigong exercises that are targeted to exactly what I need, which, you know, for a lot of women who struggle with digestive issues and menstrual issues, it’s spleen and kidneys and with that liver. So I was doing these exercises. I still am. I probably will be for several more months. But I’m feeling so much better in my life and noticing so many differences in how I feel in my heart and how I, you know, just walk outside.

Abby (00:26:56) I just can’t help but appreciate how beautiful the sky and the trees are and the birds chirping because it’s springtime now and even when it’s cold as fuck is still beautiful in some way. So I’m just that’s where I’ve been. I’m just really grateful. I’m really happy. And I don’t want to say the word hopefully. I am hopeful, but I’m also just really confident that I can continue healing, that I’m moving in that direction. I need to be going in now. And with that, I wanted to mention Jeanette. So she is working in mind-body free now and we’re going to be bringing her in to do an episode soon so you can meet her there.

Abby (00:27:40) But she is going to be offering one on one sessions with people. You’ll be able to book it through the website. She offers amazing distance a.k.a remote energy healing treatments, so they’re focused on Chinese energetic medicine. Jeanette comes from a background of traditional Chinese family where they worked with herbs and diet for healing. And then she’s done so much learning and growth within the world of qigong and Chinese energetic medicine. So she offers this one-on-one session with people and she prescribes personalized exercises that you can do based on what you need.

Abby (00:28:24) And she’s also working in the mentorship program where she’s teaching some Qigong classes within the group there as well, and helping everybody to feel good and healthy in their body. Because a lot of us, you know, have been through stuff in this lifetime and past lifetimes. And part of healing the heart is also healing the body. Healing the body makes it easier to heal the heart, you know, all interconnected. So I’m really happy to be having Janette within the mentorship program as well. We’ve been getting so much great feedback. People have been having so many great questions for her.

Abby (00:29:02) So I am excited for you to all meet her in the next episode. And until then, I hope you are all doing beautifully. I hope that the story gave you some takeaways. I know for me the biggest takeaway from my journey was those few. One was just being open to receive help, to have the humility, to acknowledge that even though I’m skilled at this stuff, I need some help right now. And then being open to receiving that and, and then the shift in taking an active role in my well-being and doing the dang work and getting up each morning and doing the exercises that I know are so incredibly helpful for me.

Abby (00:29:50) So if you are on your journey of healing your body, I want you to know that you’re not alone, that you can heal anything. You’ve got this. You can do this. And if you want to support, you can reach out. You can schedule a free discovery call. I would be happy to support you myself or point you in the direction of someone who can help you heal. So sending you my love, you can reach me at mindbodyfree.com as well as Instagram and Facebook @yourmindbodyfree. And if you like this episode or you find this content useful, I’d love to receive a review from you on iTunes. And if you have any questions for future episodes, just drop them in the comments or send me a message. All right. Have a great day. And you, my love.,

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Nick Loffree: Bioenergetic Health

Nick Loffree Mind Body Free Podcast
Nick Loffree Bioenergetic Health

Nick Lofree: Bioenergetic Health

In episode 17 of the Mind Body Free Podcast, Nick Loffree shares his journey of Bioenergetic Health and how he used meditation, diet, and Qigong to overcome schizophrenia and become the healer he is today.

This episode is for anyone struggling with mental health, looking for ways to heal their body or strengthen their own practice with the powerful yet gentle healing practice of Qigong. Nick has a ton of helpful Qigong videos on his Youtube channel, so go check them out!

Connect with Nick:
nickloffree.com
Instagram: @nickofqi
TikTok: @nickofqi
Youtube: Nick Loffree Bioenergetic Health
7 Day Brain Reset


 

Mind Body Free Podcast Love

Are you subscribed? If not, there’s a chance you could be missing out on some bonuses and extra show tools.  Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify to be sure you’re in the loop.  

Do you love the show? If so, I’d love it if you left me a review on iTunes. This helps others find the show and get integrative healing support. Simply click here and select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you so much ❤︎

Looking for more support?
Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss, and today I’m getting to speak with Nick Lafley. Nick helps people attain their ideal mental and physical well-being through a bioenergetic toolkit. His work began with himself when he underwent a spiritual initiation of schizophrenia and subsequent health issues created by medication. He now helps thousands of people through his online courses, videos, and instructor certificates to achieve the same level of seemingly impossible healing. I found Nick through YouTube and one of his qigong videos, which was fantastic, and he’s got a ton of videos on there, so I highly recommend checking out all the notes. The links are going to be in the show notes after the show. So Nick, welcome. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. Yeah. How are you?

Nick (00:00:52) Pretty good. It’s always funny. I never just copy-paste my bio. I like, always rewrite it every time somebody asks me for my bio, so I didn’t have to like surprises every time I had to read back to me. I’m like, Oh, what? I wrote about this site.

Abby (00:01:06) I like that. You’re honest about that. I did the same thing. I feel like it’s like this continuous evolution and how you feel that day and where you’re going and the direction you’re moving.

Nick (00:01:14) I was just assuming whatever ones I wrote in the past just were awful. So.

Abby (00:01:18) Exactly. So just delete all of those. I’ve never existed. So can you tell me a little bit about the work that you do? You mentioned you kind of help people through the bioenergetic toolkit. So what does bioenergetic mean?

Nick (00:01:34) You know, mostly just the way of making cheese sound palatable to Western Western minds, I guess. But it’s also partly a lot of my exploration recently over the last couple of years as being into. How there is a materialist science behind the energy of the body and its very sort of like super well known. So I dug for it for a long time before I found somebody who put forth a complete theory of bioenergy that had practical applications and seemed to be valid.

Nick (00:02:11) A lot of people, you know, people try to Westernize Xi and Chinese medicine and stuff like that a little, you know, they’ll be like, Oh, you know, quantum physics and, you know, quantum physics as these. Really, it’s almost esoteric. It’s so difficult to understand what people are trying and what scientists are trying to say with quantum physics that you can practically take anything they say and extrapolate it to be proof of whatever spiritual thing you’re talking about.

Nick (00:02:35) So I was dissatisfied with most of the westernized versions of theories of XI or things like that until I was just because I’ve been in the world of nutrition a long time and am kind of trying to figure out how to fix myself. I had a lot of physical health problems after my mental health problems because of the medications I took.

Nick (00:02:55) And so I went there, you know, every like dietary philosophy, as you know, did the keto. I did the raw vegan, I did the paleo, I did all of it, you know, every detox you can imagine. And eventually, I stumbled into this weird, weird world of a guy named Raymond Peat. And he’s a biologist. He’s like 85 years old now, so he’s been teaching about this stuff for a long time. But he, instead of coming into medicine from the, you know, a medical school or like a nutrition school, he came to it straight out of like just pure science, right? And so he’d been saying biophysics and biochemistry and everything.

Nick (00:03:32) And he was just very getting dissatisfied with the status quo that he was seeing in science and then was noticing medicine was doing a lot of weird stuff based on that. And so he built on the work of a few old scientists who are dead now, like Otto Warburg and on Sell You, Dr. Britta Barnes, who’d been, you know, all inadvertently working in their worlds, coming up with these theories of how energy and energy flow is what runs the body. And so Ray took these ideas and built them into something more practical, like, how would you eat if you wanted to follow this?

Nick (00:04:07) What supplements would you take if you believe this about the human body? And so instead of like what’s usually the way the human body is looked at is very like structural, mechanistic, mechanistic. And that’s typically the criticism that we have when we’re coming from the Chinese medicine land and we look at the Western medicine lens and it’s like, you guys just see everything is like a car.

Nick (00:04:26) You know, these little moving parts and particles and everything. And in, you know, in physics, they would say, like, you know, there’s we can look at the same particle like a photon and it can be a particle or a wave, depending on how you look at it, right? But most of medicine and biology are still on the kind of particle part of biology, I guess, and how we view the body. And so these guys are sort of getting more into the wave of how to view the body.

Nick (00:04:52) So instead of just structure its energy and structure and how these two inform each other, the energy maintains the structure. The structure produces the energy. And as I started learning from this guy’s method, I just kept realizing more and more like he’s just describing Chinese medicine, having never come across Chinese medicine as well. Maybe kind of give him a chance. Like he was saying a lot of weird things that I was like, the ZOE. This is true. Like, he thought serotonin was a stress chemical. It wasn’t a happiness chemical.

Nick (00:05:21) He thought it was like a bit of a conspiracy on the part of the pharmaceutical companies. They just needed a new thing to blame for depression so they could patent another drug for 20 years, you know? So they came in and around the same time, people, it was in the 60s. People were using LSD and psilocybin and stuff, and those block the serotonin receptors. And so he thinks that it was a kind of collaboration. The government wanted to make serotonin look good because LSD made serotonin look kind of bad enough. So. So they got the heir to the drug companies.

Nick (00:05:55) The antidepressants they were using at the time are a bit of a tangent, but the presence there isn’t at the time. We’re MAOI inhibitors, the same thing that you take when you take ayahuasca, the DMT drug. Mm-hmm. You have to take an MAOI and MAO inhibitor to have the DMT stay in your system. And that was the original antidepressants up until the 1960s, where they were taking that half of EOSIO basically as a pill to cure depression.

Nick (00:06:24) But in the 1960s, the patent ran out, and so they wouldn’t be making any money off it anymore because all the generic brands would take it over. So they needed a whole new theory of what causes depression so that they could sell a new drug, and they came out with this deficient serotonin theory anyway. So this guy, this guy thinks this is much better so serotonin can cause a lot of mental health problems. And I thought that was crazy and the only reason I gave any.

Nick (00:06:48) A chance is because his underlying theory was just Western Chinese medicine. And so his other theory was this just like what my teacher says and qigong when your stress lowers energy production. Like we tend to think in the West, like, Oh, stress is good for me. It makes me productive, right? I’d be so useless if I didn’t have my stress pushing me all the time. But eases your stress as a backup system.

Nick (00:07:11) You don’t want your stress being your main motivational sort of drive. That’s like your backup system. That’s why we wind up getting cancer and things like that. It’s not natural for the body to be having stress as a source of energy all the time. And so he thinks when the stress is low, you have higher energy and better quality energy. And when the energy’s high, you have lower stress. And he explains this all in terms of hormones and everything. But he’s essentially saying the same thing I’ve heard for years and years of qigong in Chinese medicine and everything.

Nick (00:07:40) So I gave him a chance with the serotonin thing and did a bunch of stuff, he said to lower my serotonin. And I got to say, like, it has a huge benefit on my mental health. I can track like, Oh, I stopped doing those Serotonin lowering things and now start to get a little depressed or to get a little more anxious than I usually am. And it’s just amazing how the mainstream can just be flipped on its head, and it can be the opposite for something we’ve been doing for 50 years.

Nick (00:08:04) And it can work. Wow. Did you have a question? I remember what your question was. Oh yeah. Why do I call myself bioenergetic? It’s because that’s the name for like, this school of thought is like the bioenergetic theory of health. And so I thought I would apply that to qigong and stuff.

Abby (00:08:20) It was a loaded question. That’s so interesting. And as someone who has done ayahuasca and still uses psilocybin, I find it helps my mental health quite a bit with ayahuasca. Definitely. I don’t know the chemical. I don’t have an experience of chemical serotonin exploration and lowering not to create happiness, but I want to. It’s kind of interesting how you mentioned, you know, we use more energy when we are stressed. I wonder if the serotonin release is a response to that stress and what you’re doing by lowering it is also affecting the cause of why your body feels the need to release it. I don’t know. I’m just exploring, but I think it’s fascinating.

Nick (00:09:02) Yeah. Here’s a really weird fact: you know where locusts come from. You know, the swarm is like a swarm of locusts, right, like in the Bible and stuff.

Abby (00:09:13) Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.

Nick (00:09:14) His locusts are just grasshoppers. And it’s just when grasshoppers get super stressed because they don’t have food in their environment or things like that, then they transform into locusts instead of being serious instead of being peaceful, solitary grasshoppers. They swarm together. They form a mob and they go, go, and riot, and they physically transform. They get the gross spikes. They look more aggressive. They act more aggressively. They become cannon.

Abby (00:09:39) It’s like something that’s in an animal movie, but it’s real.

Nick (00:09:42) And the chemical that drives their transformation from grasshopper to locust is Serotonin.

Abby (00:09:47) That’s so interesting. I love that one species will transform like that. I get the term for it. But I know, like Candida, it’s a yeast that’s like, you know, harmless yeast and a balance. But then with stress and, you know, toxins and the wrong environment, it transforms itself into a fungus and then spreads throughout the body. So it’s so interesting that stress is always the factor, the contributing factor.

Abby (00:10:11) So, yeah, that’s so interesting, huh? Well, it makes sense that, you know, a plague of quote-unquote a plague of locusts if there are not great things happening in that time. Of all, these grasshoppers are getting stressed and starting a swarm every yeah

Nick (00:10:25) And eating at each other and stuff.

Abby (00:10:27) Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, that sounds very fitting in the Bible story. Yeah. All right. So you went on quite this journey and you went on a big mental health journey. So it sounds like you integrate a lot of these lessons into yourself. Oh yeah. And seeing experientially what worked and what didn’t work? Yep.

Nick (00:10:46) It felt like an unknown. And what is that uncharted and trail or whatever? You know, as I was like, I’m like, I’m like seven, like seventeen. And I have psychosis and the doctors are just like, Oh, just take these pills. And I’m like, Is there anything else I should do? And they’re like, No, no, just the pill. Yeah. Like, I’m like, Have you heard of meditation? I just heard about the meditation things that I do out of there, like, worry about it, just take the pills.

Abby (00:11:11) And it’s sad. It’s such a loss for the ability to help people with this kind of thing. It’s interesting. Like in the shamanic perspective, mental illness and schizophrenia especially would be seen as a healer trying to be born where you’re accessing kind of these different dimensions and perceptions and states of being that are in like a really low frequency and you have this innate gift to perceive this stuff. But there’s a lot of healing that needs to happen to clear away that darkness and make it feel like a gift and not a burden.

Nick (00:11:43) Yeah, I was really lucky. I had read a book on shamanism like right before or right as if I was going into psychosis or something. So I kind of had that mental frame, like already kind of made for me, and I have a word for that. I think it would be a lot harder to get through because you think about it just as something you’re fighting instead of something you’re integrating or surrendering into like that. Yeah, yeah.

Abby (00:12:05) You’re not broken and you’re just going through an initiation. As you said, when you’re yeah,

Nick (00:12:09) I think that’s part of it. Yeah, when I was able to relax and because a big part of it was just constant paranoia. So it was like the hallucination part and delusion part. But then it’s just like it’s paranoid and full of fear all the time. And when I was able to let go of the paranoia and fear part, the hallucination delusion part would sort of instead of being like all this crazy stuff, my mind was trying to convince me that it became like holy visions as I would.

Nick (00:12:35) I knew nothing. I knew nothing about Hinduism, but for whatever reason, I was having visions of, like Hindu gods all the time. If I could relax like my chocolate open and these gods would come to visit me, they wouldn’t say anything. It’s just ignored. There’s like this visual art. Almost that was like reshaping my energy body or something like that. Amazing. I kind of miss it now because I know, I know that a little too much with the medication. Oh, and now I’m like, Oh, I wish I could just relax at night and hang out with gods and stuff.

00:13:05
Abby: Oh well, I can help you with that. We can talk about that, OK? I had a friend or not a friend. She’s a friend now, but I had a student I worked with for a year and she had schizophrenia, and she grew up as early as she can remember seeing demons all around her. And just like Tara, terrifying. And so we did a lot of healing on the trauma and like the layers of trauma as there is, there’s a lot to release and as we release it layer by layer, she started seeing angels and she started seeing the demons as these misguided energies and learning how to work with them and healing energies. Incredibly powerful healer.

Abby (00:13:39) It’s been amazing to watch her grow into herself and realize this, but I feel like I also have an uncle with schizophrenia, and it didn’t go that direction because he didn’t have anyone to support him in that journey. You have this intuition and this will move into this stuff, which is beautiful. I feel like if more people have the right support, we have a lot more healers in the world than like, you know, people who are still being tormented by this stuff.

Nick (00:14:04) Yeah, I agree. Yeah, this is funny. I think it’s a funny thing in the West. Swear. You know, our history in Europe is like the church and the scientists were like they hated each other, right? Because the church was like, we not only do we own spiritual truth, we are objective truth, right?

Abby (00:14:22) They want to do whatever.

Nick (00:14:23
Nick: They like to overstep their bounds with their like field of expertise. And so the people who are trying to discover objective truth in the physical world were totally at odds with them. And so we’ve developed a culture, you know, hundreds of years later, we’re still in this culture where, you know, if you’re a scientist, if you’re a psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever like, you’re expected to think a certain way, like demons aren’t real. Angels aren’t real. Psychic abilities aren’t real.

Nick (00:14:48) Like anybody who thinks these things have to be delusional, like, I’m sure some people are just like hallucinating, but probably a lot of people are hallucinating. But I think there’s a lot of this like in my experience with what I went through. I don’t know how much you know about my story, but I had real experiences of supernatural phenomena. And you tell the psychiatrist about that, and I wasn’t integrating it well. I was super paranoid.

Nick (00:15:09) So they go to a psychiatrist and there’s like, oh, supernatural phenomena, schizophrenic. Like, you’re just crazy. And it’s like, Yeah, I’m like trying to do experiments with them and everything like, let’s see if this is real. And they have no patience for that at all.

Abby (00:15:22) Yeah, because it’s not aligned with the belief system, right? It’s like it’s been against the popular ideology. And I’m popular. It was illegal to explore that stuff.

Nick (00:15:32) Is that what it was?

Abby (00:15:34) Well, I mean, back in like the pagan Christian colonialism, I mean, it was illegal to practice other forms of spirituality and kind of commune with spirits. Yeah. And then eventually became just going to be demonized in the media. And oh, it’s not real. It’s all false. And then there’s like you mentioned, that materialist perspective of this is what’s real, only what we can measure.

Nick (00:15:56) Yeah, they’re like the new church itself. It’s so funny. Yeah. So this always happens like a group that’s persecuted. And then finally they win the day and now they’re the most powerful group. And then there’s persecution, you know, it was just so ridiculous like that

Abby (00:16:10) We’ll find balance someday, I think. Yeah, perspective is good, and I like what you’re doing. your kind of bridging these two worlds of science and energy in Chinese medicine, which China is and I think can seem like it can appear as a kind of woo and like, what? What are you talking about? Like, I know when we were taught, they told us that, you know, Western medicine sees the body like a machine, which can be useful sometimes. Like, if I break my arm great, I will happily go see Western Doctor.

Abby (00:16:36) Chinese medicine sees the body like a garden. So we have to pluck the weeds. We have to balance the elements and the nutrients and plant good seeds. And it’s such a different, totally different paradigm, a way of seeing things and working through things

Nick (00:16:49) Uses a lot of metaphors and the west. I think the Western mind is so literal when you hear the metaphor like, oh, dampness or, you know, damp heat or things like that. And we’re talking about blood in Chinese medicine, we don’t always mean blood, you know, it’s like this kind of blood, you know, like spiritual blood. Go to that man. So in the western mind is that they think they’re like, really hearing like, oh, there’s dampness. Like, there’s like a build-up of fluid somewhere.

Nick (00:17:12) Well, sometimes we mean that, but sometimes it’s like, this thing is like, it’s like, it’s like the Chinese are separate, like metaphor and literal like literal reality and a lot of the ways they talk really. Chinese medicine Typekit. So it was very confusing to the Western mind. So we just classify it as we were, you know?

Abby (00:17:30) Yeah. I think it’s more like that soft kind of flowing abstract concept, a way of seeing things which I love personally. But I can see it also being infuriating if you’re used to being able to, like, clearly define things. So if you were struggling with these mental health issues when you were 17, which is early on, I mean, not uncommon as a teenager, but that’s tough. What was it like moving through that?

Nick (00:17:58) Is Just kind of terrifying all the time. For the most part. And then and then really amazing at some points like, as I mentioned, it’s kind of spiritual, energetic experiences. But for the most part, yeah, just mostly just sucked all the time. And then and then the medication sucked almost as bad as it did suck as bad. So it was worth taking. I guess it felt worth taking at the time, but it’s just like the opposite problem with you. I went from, like, in a psychotic state. It was like I was like, everything was so open energetically. It was like, as all boundaries.

Nick (00:18:31) I dissolved, and that just was terrifying. And then the pills are like the opposite. I got numb and I got fat and I got just full of mucus and skin inflammation and pimples. And just like the total opposite problem. Instead of being super anxious and fearful all the time, it’s like, I’m depressed and brain fog all the time. So, yeah, mostly it was just super lame, but gradually over the years, like learning different things, getting into meditation and yoga and nutrition and qigong. And I wouldn’t have put so much effort into those things and gotten as much out of them if I hadn’t been in so much pain.

Nick (00:19:09) So the first tool I tried to implement was meditation. A friend of mine had gotten me a book on Buddhist meditation while I was in the mental hospital. So I read that in the hospital and then when I got out, I practiced every day and it was kind of like it wasn’t an instructional book. It is a fictional story, I believe the Buddha said of his actual story of attaining enlightenment. I think it was like a fictional version that was meant to read like a novel. But in this version, he gains enlightenment by sitting next to a river and just listening to the sound of the river.

Nick (00:19:40) And that was like the thing he focused on was just that sound. And that was like a meditation technique. And so I was like, Well, that’s the only way to meditate. So I’ll do that. So I went to this river near my parent’s house like every day for literally three or four hours every day. And like me now, never do that way too uncomfortable. I’ll do that for like a week. I’ll do that for a retreat. But I do this for like six months straight and I’ll sit on these like uncomfortable rocks in a very uncomfortable body. I hadn’t done yoga or anything yet, so my body doesn’t like sitting like that and stuff.

Nick (00:20:12) And I’ll just force my mind like over and over and onto the sound of the river. And I got nothing out of it, nothing out of it. For six months, I didn’t feel more relaxed. And if it were peaceful or spiritual, nothing until like finally, what like on the six months or whatever, I’m sitting there and I put my mind on the river and it finally actually stays. It doesn’t wander off. It doesn’t go and listen to whatever voices are in my head. If you think meditating is tiring with just your voice in your head, you just try it with a whole bunch of voices in your head. But I finally got my mind to stay on this river, and I don’t even think it was that long. It was like 30 seconds, maybe a minute top where my mind was just dead silent, just hearing the river.

Nick (00:20:51) And I think about it is, I guess, my conscious mind because my conscious mind was so empty of thought at that moment. My unconscious was able to come out. And so all like the inner conflict I had, I was sort of driving the psychosis, the fearful part of the psychosis, basically just everything I hated about myself. I have low self-esteem, social anxiety, and stuff growing up. So it’s just like everything in me that I hated came out as one archetype like a mask of a demon, just like displaying and like vivid, horrifying detail like this is everything you hate about yourself.

Nick (00:21:26) But instead of seeing it as a mask of someone else, it was just like, This is you. And believing it for a split second and that fear like, oh no. And then the mask comes off and I’m looking at it as what it was. It was just a mask. And underneath that, seeing who I am, someone a kid worthy of love and worthy blah blah blah. And then I just basically cried for like 20 minutes of just snot pouring out of me into this river. And I’d like to say, Oh, after that moment, like I was healed of the psychosis was God.

Nick (00:22:00) Not at all. It was just like, it was like, you know, one percent of the burden is lifted and just a little glimpse into like, Oh, I because I had a feeling when I was going through it that a lot of this psychosis was driven by my insecurity. At times, I got bullied by things like that. And then I had this like unconscious trauma in me, and that the psychosis wasn’t just random because all my friends were doing all the same drugs and all the crap I was doing and they were psychotic.

Nick (00:22:25) So I figure there’s probably something in me that needs to come out in that kind of verify form for me want to had that experience, but I suppose my point to your question was I would probably not have pushed myself that hard for that long to get that if I wasn’t in such an immense amount of pain with no other options. So for that and that way, I’m grateful for it.

Abby (00:22:45) 100%. I mean, that’s what I think of so many people’s stories that start with pain and that’s a motivator, because why else would we bother to do the work? It’s work. You want it. I’m impressed that you did that for six months, not feel like you were getting anywhere but kept going back. That takes a lot of faith. Yeah, I don’t know why I do.

Nick (00:23:02) I think I just really trust the Buddhists because before, before I went psychotic, I’d been using psychedelic drugs and having amazing experiences on them and experiencing, you know, like the non-self and all the things that the Buddhists preach about enlightenment and then going without having read their text.

Nick (00:23:22) I experienced that first and then went and kind of got into Buddhism when I was reading their stuff and I’m like, Oh, well, this is exactly like what I experienced, so these guys must be on to something. And so I think because of that sort of thing, I had a lot of trust in what they had to say about how the mind works and stuff.

Abby (00:23:36) So a good friend, give me that book. Maybe he’s down. You get what you need when you need it when you’re ready for it, I guess. Yeah. Wow. OK. And so after that, how did you start getting into this by your energetic healing and qigong in Chinese medicine? Yeah.

Nick (00:23:52) So again, very similar. So I had been doing these psychedelic drugs, and I was experiencing like the chakras or the energy centers or the Dentons, basically exactly as they were laid out in those eastern classics I was experiencing on psychedelics before I was psychotic. And then while I was psychotic when I was just kind of permanently, it was like a lot of psychedelics. And when I relax, I would have these chakras and things open.

Nick (00:24:20) And so I was experiencing those oftentimes before I’d read anything about them and they went all the way up to like 22. Was like five years later, I was still having these experiences. I would come out of meditation or things like that, and then I’d go read a book and be like, Oh my gosh, this is exactly what they said. What happened? So it was sort of happening to me, and that’s what got me interested in the chakras. And then I was reading about yoga, and then my mom was getting into yoga and she’s like, You just come to a yoga class.

Nick (00:24:44) I thought I would get it. And I went to a yoga class and fell in love with it because that was the first physical thing. I’d been introduced to it before. That hadn’t occurred to me whatsoever that anything physical would affect my mind. Not diet, not movement, not sweating, not anything. I just thought, Oh, the mind fixes the mind, so I’m going to meditate like that. The mind thing and I have a mental problem. But when I did my first yoga class, I was like, Oh my gosh, this is the first time I’ve been relaxed and like, two years, where do I get more or less?

Nick (00:25:10) So I got, like, instantly addicted to yoga, like real physicals, like power, yoga, like, you know, use your muscles to move, your body goes up and you know, you can feel how doing the practice opens up the body’s energy. And so I just kept that curiosity going. And it gosh, it was like four years of this, four years of like meditation and yoga before I realized, Oh, I wonder what I’m eating has any effect on my brain or anything like that? I don’t put it together at all. I was eating fast food three meals a day for four years while being a practicing Buddhist meditator and like a serious yoga practice.

Abby (00:25:46) Kudos to you. Feel that a lot of focus on the mind of being through that.

Nick (00:25:52) Utterly Mcdonald and KFC and everything every day. And I think it was like, literally, I like reconnecting with an old friend and he’s like, Have you heard of this acid-alkaline thing? And I was like, What does that mean? And I started reading, I was like, Oh my gosh. Like, I never even connected the dots at all that like my skin problems like eczema, like mental health problems. All this stuff can have anything to do with what I was eating. Looking back, it’s like, I have no idea how that was not even on my radar at all. Isn’t that weird to not connect that at all?

Abby (00:26:22) Maybe you’re just like one at a time, you know, just like really chose the path of like, I’m going to figure this out one at a time.

Nick (00:26:29) I just didn’t even occur to. Meaning that it can be possible, and I still get surprised to this day. I like I’ll post on TikTok. Something about our diet can affect depression or this or that. I constantly get somebody in my comments who is so mad at me that I would suggest such a thing. They think I’m like, just some kind of quack, like trying to lead people off their medications, or I never tell people to quit their medicine.

Nick (00:26:52) I think I just give suggestions for other stuff they could do alongside it. People are constantly like, you’re going to trick people into thinking, if they kill, they’re going to be able to go off their meds. And then my words here is that

Abby (00:27:04) There are a lot of triggers in the world, like if someone’s in pain and it can be easy to want to point fingers. There’s a really good audiobook I listen to. You have to remember the name of it, but a psychiatrist and a chef, and she’s it’s all about the gut-brain connection. Is it

Nick (00:27:19)  Kelly Brogan?

Abby (00:27:20) Kelly Brophy? Indians are probably not, but I mean, that’s good. There are many books on this topic because they should be so huge. Yeah. You know, she talks to you about how you can’t. If you have had a mental condition for a long time, likely, there’s also something going on in the gut, and you can’t treat one without treating the other like you need to look at them holistically. And I’ve noticed that on my health journey, like if I eat the wrong thing, my body is very responsive. It gives me a lot of feedback. Within minutes, I know with my mood, if I if it was right or not, I have the same

Nick (00:27:52) Blessing and a curs

Abby (00:27:53) Sensitive. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It’s like you just you. There’s not a lot of wiggle room to keep messing up, if you know better to keep listening to that motivating force, right? With the psychedelics being a part of your journey, it’s found that like personally, when I did ayahuasca, it was incredible and transformative. And then coming back and trying to integrate that was just a shit storm, and it was a matter of like, OK, what are all the tools? What did everyone do before? Like the yoga qigong, the meditation? It’s kind of like standing back on your power, learning how to get back to the place you met, which plants showed you by being able to do it on your own?

Nick (00:28:33) I think a lot of people get lost where they just keep going back to the plants back, back, back, back and they never, they built, get some discipline in their life to kind of integrate and implement the stuff they learned and all get a lot of lost souls.

Abby (00:28:46) It’s true. Yeah, you know, it can be really powerful with the right additional support and the will and knowing that we’re not powerless to start doing this stuff. You can feel like you’re at a loss when you just look at what Western medicine says. And you know, a food diet has nothing to do with mental health like it can feel disheartening. Like, like, there’s no hope for you until you start trying things and believing that it’s possible to heal, which you seem to have no problem doing. So how did you get into doing that qigong?

Nick (00:29:20) She gave us a funny story. I was cleaning toilets at a gym for a job, and there there’s an inspiring moment. You know the chop-chop wood carries water, I guess. But I was like, I was halfway through my yoga teacher training. It was like a split up over a year, and I’m just trying to make money while I’m going through it. And there’s an acupuncturist slash bongos on the teacher, so like a Chinese martial artist who was at the gym operating out of there. And he’s like, Oh, if you love yoga, like, I bet you’re going to love qigong. And he sent me a YouTube video of this guy named Li. Hold on to him from the qigong world.

Abby (00:29:58) I don’t know, I’m OK.

Nick (00:29:59) I was going to say he’s the most famous name in Chicago, but maybe not. Yeah, he got famous because this DVD has gone on to PBS television for it. So it’s not anymore because it’s exercise stuff isn’t a thing anymore, but it was on PBS and all over the country for a while. But anyway, it seems like a little seven-minute qigong routine of just like, really gentle, like flowing slow-motion exercises that you link with your breath also very slow.

Nick (00:30:26) And I tried it, and I just couldn’t believe like how like just seven minutes of that made me feel so, so relaxed, like I’ve been doing a long time of yoga and meditation and things like that, and I’m like, Wow, that is the quickest path I have ever taken to being super relaxed and no anxiety. And I went to bed after that and my whole body just felt like it was made of cotton. And, at the time, I had this giant walk on the bottom of my foot. It was enormous, super deep. And I had it for like four years, and I went to the doctors over and over again to cut it off, like frozen off.

Nick (00:30:59) They burned it off, medicated it, and just kept coming back. And as I’m lying there in bed, I’m like, I wonder if I can make this work. Go away with this cottony energy I’m feeling. I just kept sending my breath and my attention. And eventually, this energy starts going to my foot or those waters, and my foot just starts kind of buzzing with that energy. And I kind of fall asleep while I’m doing this. But when I wake up, this word is not only gone, it’s so gone. It looked like it was never there, like the skin on the bottom, I flipped over. I like completely regrown and I never came back and

Abby (00:31:30) That’s miraculous.

Nick (00:31:32) But I later learned from Dr. Andrew Weil, who’s that, you know, have these kinds of famous for? He’s a real M.D., but he kind of makes his fame off of talking about, you know, holistic stuff and Mind-Body Medicine. He said that the number one illness that tends to respond best to mind medicine, like healing something with your awareness or a placebo or attention or visualization is warts. I have no idea why, but it says that’s like the most responsive illness that now

Abby (00:32:00) So physical. I know. Yeah, that’s great evidence. Aside from feeling fantastic, here’s some materialist evidence you change something on your body overnight.

Nick (00:32:11) So I was hooked just because it felt so good. And also, I’ve always been like a big, nature guy. So I love that, you know, all the movements are like a bear swims in the ocean and like the creams spreads its feathers, stuff like that. So I thought it was cool. So I got into it and I was just finishing up my yoga teacher training. So when I went back, I had to teach an exam, like teaching a little class to the classes, like part of graduating. And so I brought in some of those qigong moves into it and everybody loved it.

Nick (00:32:40) And so I was like, Oh, this is cool. And then when I got back from the yoga teacher training, I’d overstretched a whole bunch of my connective tissues. So like while I was going through the second half of this training, like every forward fold I did felt like someone was just sighing off my hamstrings and

Abby (00:32:57) I’ve been there. Yeah. So it’s hard at the training center.

Nick (00:33:00) It’s a lot of yoga to do all at once. It’s like you’re doing four hours of intense yoga.

Abby (00:33:05) That’s too much for the body.

Nick (00:33:07) It’s too much to kind of pack it all in like that, I think. But also, you know, I a good teacher and he’s like, like the main thing he was trying to teach this whole time was like, you know, listen to your body, listen to the instructions, listen to your body, like, take a break if you need to get to listen to all because I’m like twenty-two and I’m like the only guy in a room full of like twenty-five beautiful women. And I’m like, I don’t want to be the guy sitting out like I was. I’m trying to show off.

Nick (00:33:32) I just kept pushing through it, even though I felt like I was just getting ligaments sawed off. And by the time I finished the training, I’m like, Man, it hurts every time I do yoga. So I go to physical therapy and the physical therapist is like, Move me around. Like, Does this hurt? Am I hurt? I’m like, No, he’s like, You don’t have any pain. I’m like, Well, I just have pain when I do yoga. So can you fix that? And he’s like, Oh, how about you just don’t do yoga for a while? And I was like, I just could. I just literally dropped out of college and spent the tuition money, my last tuition money for college on a yoga teacher training.

Nick (00:34:01) Like, I invested everything in this thing and now I couldn’t even do yoga, let alone teach it. And I had some classes lined up to teach. And so instead of bailing on them, I was like, Well, for whatever reason, I can’t do yoga, but I can do qigong. Even the stretching parts of qigong I could do without the pain because it’s just like this different style of stretching that involves fluid movement while you’re stretching and stuff for a reason that didn’t aggravate things. So I just started teaching. I called a Chinese yoga class, and that way I could sort out those classes if people aren’t too disciplined.

Abby (00:34:32) Yeah, it’s amazing how much can happen with such a gentle approach. Something I love about qigong is that it is so gentle like all ages, all abilities. You can do it sitting down. You can do it lying down. Do it in your mind. Yeah, it all helps make me think of a situation where, you know, even though yoga is good for you, you do push it to a point and create stress. It starts becoming bad for you. But I’ve never found that with qigong, where it’s gotten to a point where it creates stress as I’m moving through a block and then I feel amazing a few minutes later.

Nick (00:35:04) But yeah, the only bad side effect. I’ve got another qigong or a couple sometimes that can aggravate the knees. A few misaligned things. It’s actually like 10 tennis elbow or a golfer’s elbow. You get qigong and tai chi me. That’s usually from just kind of standing the wrong way and stuff. And the other one is more energetic. We’re like. Comes from using too much mental effort while you’re doing qigong, so a lot of people get obsessed with it, visualizing part of it.

Nick (00:35:32) It’s like there are all these cool generalizations. Imagine this like going here that like going there and oh, you’re in a mountain and now there are birds. And so they get hooked on this idea that like, I’m going to control the tree with my mind, you know? Mm hmMm-hmm, what they don’t realize is, what they often do is like, let’s say you’re trying to move the chair to your lower abdomen. Well, if all the effort is coming from your head, from your mind, trying to direct the cheek that she’s going to go to your head to give energy to that mental effort.

Nick (00:36:02) And so I would add this period for like a year. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I’d be doing qigong. I thought it was doing everything right. But at the end of practice, I’d have all this pressure in my head and give me brain fog, and I’d wind up getting really angry and easily irritable, and I couldn’t sleep. And I was like, What’s going on? What happened to qigong practice? Eventually, I learned that trying to force things too much mentally?

Abby (00:36:25) Do you find it because you teach qigong? Do you find that happens a lot with your students? Is that a common thing as Western people make thinkers?

Nick (00:36:33) It happens a lot in the qigong world, but not really with my students because I discourage it.

Abby (00:36:39) That’s good. So how did you go from that to what you’re doing now? Like, how did you feel called to start sharing this with people?

Nick (00:36:48) I just kind of know it all. I think I learn new things. I just want to tell everybody so I can either tell all my friends and family and annoy them and knock it. I’m not getting paid and they’re just being annoyed all the time because they want to listen to me. Or I could find people who want to hear what I have to say, and they want to give me money. And that’s everybody’s happy. So.

Abby (00:37:07) So fulfilling. Hey, I’ve been there also,

Nick (00:37:10) You know, desire to help the world, blah blah blah. I have to.

Abby (00:37:14) Yeah, it all kind of goes together, right? Whatever motivation. And did you ever find that like, I mean, for you? It doesn’t. I mean, for me, anyway, I found, as I’ve been on this kind of shamanic healing path and with qigong, there’s like this little part of the back of my mind that’s like, you can’t remember, like for you. You did. But like for me, if I had a word on my toe, my mom would be like, You need to go get some sort of hard chemicals to put on that thing because energy is not going to move that look. Look how dense and physical that matter is. Do you find that that’s something that you ever had to overcome? Or do you find that in your students of moving through that sense of doubt, they can come up?

Nick (00:37:54). Students, I think I’ve got a weird personality trait where when somebody, when somebody says something is impossible, it makes me like, just want to do it more.

Abby (00:38:05) So that’s a good trait.

Nick (00:38:08) So I feel like that’s helped me a lot. But I do. I ran into it not a ton with students. I have all kinds of students so actually there’s always something they believe to an extent, you know, and then it’s like, Oh, well, you can’t do anything about that with nutrition, you know, it’s like. Oh, now that I have cancer, I’m going to stop coming to chew gum in class because I need to go to chemo all the time and it’s like, Well, why don’t you do both? I say, Well, cancer’s too serious for qigong, so there’s not that kind of stuff that happens with COVID.

Nick (00:38:42) It happened a lot, you know, just people just don’t want to hear. And even people who have been doing qigong for ages, really want to hear like that. It’s like qigong could be helpful or there are dietary things that could be helpful because they’re in my class for maybe an hour or a couple of times a week. But then they’re watching the news like, you know, six hours a week. And so it’s just you’re kind of competing, you’re competing with a lot. You know, everything I teach, I always try to be like, you know, like, I don’t want to take full responsibility for you dying of cancer or something.

Nick (00:39:12) I’m not going to tell you to stop doing chemo or something like I’m going to pretend I know everything about, like how chemo works or how effective it is. But I know that like, other stuff also helps. And so when it comes to mental health, especially like I always try to be like, like, I’m not going to be the one to tell you to stop taking your meds, work with your doctor. If you feel like, you know, doing qigong or fixing your diet or something has given you a little more foundation where you feel a little more stable and you want to think of talk about weaning off your meds, like go to your doctor and talk to them about weaning off the meds.

Nick (00:39:44) Tell them you feel more stable. You don’t have to tell them why, because you tell them it’s qigong. They’re going to think it’s a bunch of B.S. and they all do whatever you’re selling them, you’re so much more stable. You want to experiment, you want to work with them more than they’re usually like, happy to help you out with that. But I never want to be the guy to tell people, don’t do this or don’t do that. But people, people do have a lot of limitations where they like, Oh, like, what does food have to do with your brain?

Nick (00:40:07) Your brain’s obviously in a capsule, outside your body, on another planet, somewhere in everything you eat. It’s not like it goes into your bloodstream and affects your brain and builds your brain and builds all the chemicals in your brain.

Abby (00:40:20) Not at all like that? No.

Nick (00:40:21) So I was always kind of funny running into people’s closed minds about that.

Abby (00:40:25) So I think it’s I mean, it sounds like you’ve got a grounded approach where you understand a lot of the scientists who have this sort of a blend of sounds like western and eastern medicine. So you can kind of speak to it. What’s actually from that material’s perspective, but also speak to that deeper, energetic layer, what needs to happen? I feel like if you can say, OK, here’s what’s happening to your brain right now and explain it in a way that is very relatable to what we’re used to hearing from scientists and doctors but also can add the other dimension.

Abby (00:40:56) I feel like that can open up worlds for people. For me, I’m very much like, I’m too abstract like I feel and experience that way. I’m not an encyclopedia of facts, so if people want that, I’m just like, You got to go see somebody else help you with that. But it’s really helpful for kind of opening up minds to the possibility of this being something that does things.

Nick (00:41:18) Yeah. Have you heard of them? There’s a French woman, a shaman named Karrine, something like a Mongolian. She trained in Mongolian shamanism.

Abby (00:41:28) I need to look into more people, and I’ve not heard of most people. But tell me about her.

Nick (00:41:34) Oh, this is well known. But yeah, she was a Frenchwoman. I think she was. I had heard what she was studying. She was an anthropologist or something, and she went to do her Ph.D. by living with the shamans in Mongolia and studying them. And as soon as she got there, as soon as she went to her first ceremony and as soon as the shaman started hitting the drum, she fell onto the floor, having seizures, and went into a shamanic trance. So the shamans were like, You’re not here to study here to become a shaman, just say no.

Nick (00:42:03) And so they trained her for like eight years or something. And when she came back, she had all this scientific training. And so she wanted to kind of bridge the gap. And she wound up taking a bunch of shamans from Mongolia and a bunch of schizophrenics from France and putting them in MRI machines to scan their brains while they’re in a shamanic trance or having a psychotic break. And when she showed these scans to neuroscientists, they couldn’t tell the difference between the brain of a schizophrenic patient and the brain of a shaman in a trance.

Abby (00:42:35) I think that’s amazing, but it also doesn’t surprise me.

Nick (00:42:38) It doesn’t surprise me at all.

Abby (00:42:39)
Abby: That’s so fascinating. What’s this woman’s name?

Nick (00:42:41) So I know her first name is Corrine C.O.R., and if you take like Corrine, Mongolian French shaman,

Abby (00:42:49) Or yeah, I’ll see if I can find her. That’s so fascinating. And any kind of lines up to it like that shamanic view of mental illness, being a healer, trying to be born like if your mind open and you have this ability to sense what’s going on around you, it’s like, OK, let’s just clear the lens through which you’re seeing it. Is it through pain, trauma and darkness, and attachments to that or fear? Or is it through the light that you are and the light around you and you know, the experiences of those past stories?

Nick (00:43:21) I think Joseph Campbell,

Abby (00:43:23) Have you heard of just, Oh yeah, yeah, that is one of her. We’ve followed this account.

Nick (00:43:29) You probably know what it is, the schizophrenic or maybe the psychotic? I remember what he says, but the psychotic or schizophrenic drowns in the same water that the shaman or the mystic?

Abby (00:43:40) I have. I have read that that’s a beautiful quote and encapsulates what we’ve been talking about. So well, I think. So if there are people out there who are struggling with their mental health, what would you want them to know?

Nick (00:43:53) It’s going to be hard. It’s going to take a long time. It’s going to take you people listening less time than it took me, excuse me. It was like 10 years before I really felt like I’m going to have, like pretty much overcome the stuff I can live a normal life quotation marks. But it’s going to take you guys less time because you found people like us here. It’s kind of like going through a lot of this and helping a lot of people. I spent a long time there. I was just reading books, lots of DVDs.

Nick (00:44:22) I never really talked to anybody who knew what they’re talking about for the first, probably like six years of going through this, I was just doing it all on my own. The people I like. You were like psychiatrists, so make use of it if you can get like. If you can talk one on one with somebody, you should really because it can, it’s just really going to take you a lot further, a lot quicker than trying to do it on your own, especially when you’re suffering from mental health problems. What’s wrong is that your mind isn’t working optimally, so trying to figure everything out on your own can take even longer because, you know, it’s a little harder to use your intuition and use your own guidance.

Nick (00:45:04) And it’s just nice to just have a team of support and people that can help you out on maybe on both sides of the East-West divide. And yes, that’s going to level up quickly. It’s not something that I can tell you to do. The action was like, Oh, eat this diet or do this, you’re going to find what works for you like. So just one thing I’ll say is that a big thing that’s in like the Daoist like Chinese medicine world, like a perspective on healing, like one lens that they’ll sometimes look through is if there’s something wrong with your mind, focus on healing your body and if something wrong with your body, focus on healing your mind and spirit. And it doesn’t always have to look like that, but sometimes that’s just a little easier.

Nick (00:45:51) Way to go about it is, you know, your mind’s having all this trouble. So really leaning on your mind’s abilities for your healing can sometimes be not as reliable, right? Going to your body, doing yoga and eating better and taking herbs and things like that can sometimes be a little. You can get a lot more of a foothold there. And then once you have that little more foundation of your body supporting your mind, bring in more mental stuff, spiritual stuff, things like that can be very useful and beautiful.

Abby (00:46:19) I like that perspective, too, like, OK, my mind’s not working great, but I’ve still got this body. How can I use that to help this part? That’s not running? Often we’ll jump in. All right, I’m going to jump into the painful part and navigate stuff within that spine. And especially to try and do it by yourself. Yeah, that is hard. Yeah, I’m a huge believer in having a team of support. It’s helped me so much in my life and I will probably work with other healers, guides and coaches for the rest of my life as well as you, the Chinese medicine, doctors of the body and, the Western medicine doctors for, you know, a handful of things. But yeah, yeah,

Nick (00:46:55) Having a lot of spiritual healing just comes from the feeling of being supported by family, even despite the advice they gave you. Yeah. For me, getting like my qigong teacher became like my number one mentor throughout. Still, to this point in my life is like my number one mentor, and I was like that filled in a huge, like healing gap in me. I had a very cold, distant father who, you know, I didn’t ever experience like, like warm, loving, supportive energy from a man. And when I got that from my qigong teacher, it filled a hole in my heart. And that was I felt like a big part of my healing process besides him just teaching me cool stuff.

Abby (00:47:32) Yeah, that’s beautiful. So much of that is just getting that nourishment that we need, you know, coming into the world with love, acceptance, belonging, community. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn’t have to come from your parents or political climate.

Nick (00:47:48)  Yeah. Yeah, there are studies on that. A lot of people will talk about how, you know, having homes without fathers present can be bad, especially for young boys growing up. But if you were kind of looking into the data, it’s actual communities without fathers. So it doesn’t matter that much if your home specifically has a father. But if the community does not like nurturing, supportive, protective, caring men who will just play the father role regardless of their biological status with you or whatever, that has the same positive effects.

Abby (00:48:19) That’s so interesting and so good to know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, amazing. Such social creatures. Are. Yeah. So for people wanting to work with you, how would they go about doing that? What kind of stuff do you do with people?

Nick (00:48:34)  Yeah. So the easiest way to jump in with me is just to go to YouTube. I got tons of qigong routines, and a lot of them are like themes towards something you might be going through. So like, you know, checking for anxiety, to account for depression, to for neck pain, low back pain, all kinds of stuff like that. So that’s the easiest way to jump in and see if you know my kind of style of movement and breath and everything. Therapy is helpful for you. And then if you want to work with me one on one, if you go to my website, there’s a coaching tab or something like that there. So you can go one on one there.

Nick (00:49:09) And then, yeah, that yeah, I post lots of advice and stuff on TikTok and Instagram and things like that. Just follow me there and see what kind of stuff I like. Oh, I forgot. That’s the relevant thing and everything. We just. I just took an E-course called the seven-day reset. And it’s kind of putting together a lot of the tools. I just talked about some nutrition stuff and qigong, and it’s just kind of all it’s meant to be done is like a seven-day thing. You just try it for a week and just see if you feel better.

Nick (00:49:37) Does this particular diet philosophy that I’m advocating in this particular movement and breath philosophy I’m advocating work for your particular system. I’m sure it doesn’t work for everybody, but you just give it a try for seven days. Most people are not going to kill you. And so if you feel better, then you might want to keep exploring that sort of philosophy. If not, you move on, but it’s only like 20 bucks. So that’s amazing. I think I gave it to you for the show. Note the link should be there.

Abby (00:50:01) Yeah, yeah. I’ll include all the links in the show notes. I’m so glad that you’re offering that because as someone who comes from very much like the deep spiritual abstract world, that’s my zone of genius. And I saw that you’re doing all this stuff like this is perfect, so I won’t go and do stuff that is going to help you tremendously and will help you with all kinds of other work.

Nick (00:50:18) To make an e-course in the future together, maybe one to two wings on that bird?

Abby (00:50:23) Yeah. That’ll be great as well. Thank you Nick to do what you’re doing and we’ll talk soon

Nick (00:50:31) Awesome. Thanks for having me. Yeah.

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Boundaries

Boundaries

On episode 16 of the Mind Body Free Podcast, we explore from an energetic perspective, what happens when we’ve had our boundaries violated. We also go on a guided journey of healing your boundaries so you can feel strong and secure within your own space.

This episode is for anyone who’s experienced a little “t” or big “T” trauma where they felt they didn’t have claim over their own space and body. It’s also anyone who sometimes gets overwhelmed by the energy of the people and places around them. The Boundaries journey will guide you through letting go of painful past experiences, healing and reinforcing your personal boundaries, and how to claim your space even in the most uncomfortable of situations.

Connect with Abigail:
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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss, and today I’m going to guide you through a journey of feeling strong, impenetrable boundaries so as paths, as highly sensitive people. It’s very common to take on other people’s emotions, the energy around us, and that can get overwhelming, really quick.

Abby (00:00:27) So when we think about boundaries, the times when we want to kind of recoil into ourselves, when things feel overwhelming, if we’re in an uncomfortable setting or we’re in a large public space, I like to use the analogy of stepping into Costco and just wanting to shrink into a small creature because the energy can feel overwhelming.

Abby (00:00:51) But what we want to do is not draw into ourselves, because if you can imagine that becomes a kind of like a vortex that we pull energy into us and it can exacerbate that overwhelming feeling. What we want to do instead is expand our energy out, become very expansive. And in doing so, we push away other energy that we don’t want in our feelings like everybody else’s stuff, and we radiate light, bright energy of our own.

Abby (00:01:25 ) And it may initially feel counterintuitive to do that, to expand out when you’re in an uncomfortable situation, but it truly is quite helpful. So we work with feeling our energy expand and also filling ourselves up. So filling up from the energy of the Earth and the energy of the heavens above and calling light to ourselves and feeling ourselves become expansive.

Abby 00:01:53) So it’s a practice, and this meditation is going to gently guide you through this inner experience of connecting with the energy around you, with the energy of the Earth and expanding your energy out. And as you do this, you may notice that people respond to you differently when you are feeling radiant, radiant, and full of life.

Abby (00:02:19) And you also may notice yourself responding differently and not feeling the urge to recoil, but feeling strong within yourself, which is what boundaries are all about feeling strong within yourself. And most of us do not have great boundaries because of how we grew up. So as children, we can’t always get our way, and I often feel like we’re forced to do things that don’t feel right for us and that can feel like a violation of our boundaries.

Abby 00:02:53) So you could consider that a small T trauma like being forced to eat food when we’re not hungry or being forced to hug someone we don’t want to hug or being forced to leave an experience that we want to stay in. Not having that control of ourselves in our own body, we don’t have a lot of control when we’re young, and that feeling of powerlessness can stay with us as we get older. Until we let that feeling go from our energy, from our beliefs, and our nervous system.

Abby (00:03:31) So there’s also the big trauma, which is any kind of physical violation, sexual or otherwise. So if you’ve been beaten up as a child in school, if you were sexually violated in some way at each point of your life, that is a larger boundary violation. And when something like that happens to us, you can imagine it creates a crack in your boundary. So you imagine your boundaries like an energetic bubble around you.

Abby (00:04:02) That is your space. It’s like that bubble has gotten a crack in it, and the space that’s yours has become compromised. So your sense of boundaries and understanding other people’s boundaries can be challenging because your sense of me and you mine and there’s my space there, space has been violated. And so when that happens, we want to repair the crack in that boundary, why we want to release any energy that has gotten in there that doesn’t belong to you.

Abby (00:04:40) And in doing so, you will become stronger and better protected in your sense of self. So when someone else can sense that you have strong boundaries, they are much less likely to mess with you. And when others sense that you? Have strong boundaries, those with good intentions feel at ease around you, it helps them to remember their boundaries as you remember yours and ultimately helps you to feel more at home in your skin and your own space.

Abby (00:05:16) So boundaries is a big topic that we could do several episodes on. But what I want for you is to have this meditation that I’m going to walk you through that is going to set you up for success. That is a powerful practice and cleansing experience to release any energy in your bubble that does not belong there and to repair any cracks that have been made throughout your life. All right. So this journey incorporates hypnotherapy that helps you access a deeply relaxed state so you don’t want to do this while you’re driving.

Abby (00:05:59) You want to give yourself a space to just relax and sink into it for the most powerful and healing effects. So without further ado, just sit back, relax and enjoy the journey in creating your own strong, impenetrable boundaries. So I want you just to take some breaths now and come into this space and this moment in time. This is right here right now in your body at this moment. And then.

Abby (00:06:38) Opening your eyes and looking up as high as you can, just with your eyes and taking in a breath and letting it out good and breathing it again. And let it down. No more time breathing in. And this time on your exhale, keep your eyes up and lower your eyelids down. The good feeling that fluttering sensation in your eyelids so that you act as a very healing trance state and allowing your eyes to relax now and go into a comfortable position, healing the muscles around your eyes, growing soft and relaxed, feeling your eyelids are heavy and it’s just so comfortable to allow them to stay closed.

00:07:28
Abby: And with her looking down, feeling in your body, imagining that you’re looking down over a set of stairs and you can see 10 steps below you as I count you down, you’re going to see, feel, and hear your foot treading each step. And as you move on to step 10, you can feel all the muscles in your hand. Relax space between your eyebrows, soften and relax. You drift down two steps, nine and eight, you feel your shoulders turn loose and relax.

Abby (00:08:05) All the muscles in your arms, chest back in Valley, just turn loose and relax. And you go on any of seven and six feeling your hips, sinking deeper and relaxing. Moving on to step five, you’re halfway down feeling every muscle turned loose, let loose, looming on a for feeling your whole nervous system, relax and turn loose now. He drifts down two steps, three and two, just feeling yourself, allowing yourself to drift, float and move into a powerful healing awareness of yourself.

Abby (00:08:53) Moving on to step one and going 10 times deeper. 20 times deeper. A hundred times deeper, this drifts deeper. Flow deeper. Sink even further into a powerful healing awareness of yourself, and every sound that you hear brings you deeper. And the sound of my voice brings you deeper and deeper and deeper into a healing awareness of your soul. And see Sense feel some white or gold online pouring down from above and melting in the top of your head, melting into your brain and releasing anything your brain has holding that is not aligned with your truth, releasing any untrue thoughts, beliefs, or patterns and habits.

Abby (00:09:51) I think that like going into your pineal gland and your eyes, helping you to deeply perceive the truth of what is clearing away, any fog, any confusion, anything untrue or staticky. And feeling that light melting down into the ears and opening up, unblocking anything that had been held in the ears that did not belong. Moving on into the throat and just opening the throat and feeling that sense of easy and creative expression from your heart and your true self.

Abby (00:10:28) And feeling that late melting down into their shoulder is releasing anything their shoulders had been carrying the poorest down into the arms and the lungs, feeling yourself and breathing that light into your lungs, feeling it, melting into all your organs, your heart, your liver, your gallbladder, your stomach, your spleen, your kidneys, your small intestine, your large intestine. Yeah, good feeling that light melting down into your hips, melting down your legs, into your knees, and down into your ankles and feet.

Abby (00:11:12) I had a feeling some tree roots coming from you and going into the Earth and going deeper and deeper and plugging in with the core of Mother Earth now. Feeling that pulsing energy, that heartbeat of the Earth, feeling yourself, sinking out with that now. And feeling Mother Earth and some energy up your tree roots. Up your legs, he left filling up behind your belly button. Overflowing up into the center of your chest, your heart center, you feel that light radiating out into your whole body, filling your bones, your blood, your muscles, and connective tissues, and the lining of myofascial around your body, feeling your skin, hair, and nails.

Abby (00:12:05) I’m feeling the light radiate out three feet off your body, filling your whole emotional feeling releasing anything heavy or intense or stuck out of your emotional field now and feeling that light expanding out into your whole spiritual field. Six feet off the body. My feelings. Any thoughts, any unsupportive thoughts or energies external from you just releasing and melting away into that light now? Could be a lot like filling the whole room, you’re in a home building, you’re in. A whole city. The whole country. And the whole planet.

Abby (00:12:55) You’re feeling wrapped in a bubble of light, really supported and connected from above and below. And so. When you walk into a space or you’re in an environment that feels uncomfortable, the tendency can be to shrink the energy down, and really what’s needed is to expand your energy. And I want you just to practice feeling this now, feeling an energy coming up from the Earth, up to your legs and radiating out like a smile, shining off your chest and arms and face and head.

Abby (00:13:35) Just noticing you just imagining yourself in your mind’s eye, walking into a space where there’s a lot of people, a lot of energy and just feeling this energy coming up from the Earth, filling you and radiating out like a warm smile, imagining yourself, noticing your posture and your shoulders going back. Are you standing taller feeling perhaps a smile on your face? Just noticing yourself walking about the space with your energy radiating out like this, this feeling flows through you easily and lightly and just not as others respond to you differently now that your energy is so bright and expansive.

Abby (00:14:23) So. Yeah. Good, so allowing this now to be a habit, creating this habit every time you walk into a space or encounter in an environment where in the past you used to shrink, you now allow your energy to expand and outward feel your energy radiate. And fill the room, fill yourself, fill your whole body, your whole emotional, and your whole spiritual body with this bright light smile radiating out from you. Because indeed, doing this is a powerful, protective boundary as you radiate light and warmth out.

Abby (00:15:18) No energy can interfere with that. This indeed is protection. And ironically, it’s when you feel your energy that it doesn’t need to be protected as when you really, truly feel this expansiveness of feeling imagining yourself walking through this space with your head held up your shoulders back, feeling the lightness and the warmth of this, the confidence.

Abby (00:15:53) It’s allowing physiology to adapt to this move in this way, more and more each day to allow us to become natural for you as you do just practicing meaning throughout your day, moving through your walk, simply sitting where you are practicing this feeling more and more, allowing it to become more and more of your natural flow, your natural state each day and every time you listen to this recording, it reminds you and me tunes you into this and you listen to this recording often to create the habit of being in the flow, being upright, confident and bright.

Abby (00:16:41) And you do this. You listen to this recording more and more. You notice it becomes more and more a part of you. It’s healing this confidence, this lightness. You notice more and more differences in how those around you are responding to you as you show up with this powerful bright energy within you and moving through you, supporting you and protecting you. Just allowing yourself to be in the energy of power, of strength, of lightness, of a smile, knowing that this is who you truly are. The powerful being connected to all that is simply allowing yourself to find that alignment more and more each day.

Abby (00:17:35) And as you do, you will notice even greater and greater ease as you move through life and experience those around you reacting differently to thoughts and feelings that you convey while you’re in this vibrant, expansive, light state. Knowing that your energy, your thoughts, your emotions on the electromagnetic field, others around you can sense and feel the thoughts you think of yourself, of the thoughts that others will often think of you too. As you walk into spaces and around others reminding yourself that you are loved, you are love, that you are connected, deeply connected with the Earth and the heavens above, and with your own heart and truth.

Abby (00:18:32) And feeling that smile and expansiveness coming from you. Noticing more and more how beautiful their responses are when others witnessed this and you. And another layer of your boundaries is knowing your truth. So feeling in the very core of you now your wisdom, your integrity, his feeling that as a light expanding out from the very center of you like a white light, getting brighter and brighter, it’s the knowingness of simply a part of you allowing that knowingness to grow to illuminate you around that feeling compassion for yourself. Healing that compassion and love for yourself surrounding them, bright light, filling your whole body.

Abby (00:19:33)This is another layer of your boundary that radiates outright from you. Adding this layer naturally, easily knowing that connecting with the light supports this and this creates a connection with the light. Feeling your connection from heaven, from Earth, and your true self. You are having an experience of life. You are aware and you choose how you respond to life. Make a choice now if you wish to respond from this place, self-compassion of integrity, feeling deeply connected and supported by the universe where Mother Earth is.

Abby (00:20:32) By the heavens. Good. And this is allowing this light to penetrate the cells of your body and your whole being, your physical body, your emotional body, your spiritual body. Citing a blessing of light into your past and blessing of light into your future. Knowing that all is divinely guided and you are perfectly in the flow, really aligned with the core of who you are and as you align with this, moving through life is joyful, beautiful, playful. So allowing yourself to live in joy, beauty, and play.

Abby (00:21:26) It’s allowing for a powerful impression of these experiences and these true concepts to stay with you, to continue guiding you and nourishing you. And imagining now a bubble of light around, you know, a bubble of light is your boundaries feeling it? Six feet out from you are even further out. Bad thing, all of you. And imagine seeing if there’s anywhere that those boundaries have been cracked. This sends them filling with light. Now. Seeing them be impaired, seeing lines of light coming in and crossing over and just healing and repairing all of those cracks now with your strong, powerful force field, with your boundaries, knowing that you are a strong, powerful being.

Abby (00:22:26) I feel a sense of knowing where you and others begin. And claiming all of you. And taking radical ownership for all of you knowing that you are powerful, you choose your thoughts and actions and beliefs with awareness. And what others do is their responsibility. Look, you never know the true thoughts and reasons for others’ behavior. What you can do. He understands that what you do is your responsibility. Take radical ownership for yourself, knowing that you are powerful, free, and innocent.

Abby (00:23:20) And living with strong, impenetrable boundaries, feeling the force field around you filled with light, feeling it reinforced with lines of light horizontal and vertical crossing over each other. Feeling light, connecting you from above and from below and from your true self. You are a powerful force. You are free. You are filled with light and made of light. Feeling your profound connection with your true self and the alignment of the light that you are. Knowing that no one else can truly take from you. Nothing can be truly taken from you. Because you have sovereignty over yourself. And how you see your life.

Abby (00:24:27) And choosing the stories that are powering that are freeing to you. Knowing that you are worthy of happiness and joy and peace. Happiness and joy and peace come freely to you and you live in alignment with your true self. Now. And imagining a set of stairs in front of you now with five steps. As you place your foot on step five, you feel aligned, you feel in your truth, you feel free. Moving on to step four, feeling the powerful truth of these experiences and concepts within you, supporting you nourishing and reinforcing your strong, impenetrable boundaries.

Abby (00:25:18) I mean, honest up to feeling healed, feeling grounded, and deeply connected. Moving on or someone feeling fully in your body, feeling your fingertips and your toes, feeling here or feeling present, feeling free and good, taking in a deep, beautiful breath. And opening your eyes.

Abby (00:25:50) Thank you so much for listening, I hope you enjoyed this meditation, this guided journey on healing your boundaries, on having powerful, strong, impenetrable boundaries. I hope it brings you a lot of peace and healing wherever you may go next. And if you enjoyed this journey, I encourage you to subscribe and review Apple Podcasts. It helps to help other people find this healing work. And if you’d like to learn more about the work

Abby (00:26:25) I do and go deeper into your healing journey, you can find me on mindbodyfree.com and learn about my mentorship programs at mindbodyfree.com/mentorship. Their six-month journey of healing and awakening within a sacred group and community.

Abby (00:26:45) And if you have any requests for future episodes or feedback from this one, you can reach out to me on Facebook and Instagram @yourmindbodyfree. So thank you so much for listening. Sending you my love and talk soon.

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New Year Journey Pt. 2

New Year Journey Mind Body Free Podcast
New Year Journey Part 2 Abby Banner Photo

New Year Journey Pt 2

In episode 15: New Year Journey Pt 2, we move into part 2 of our New Year’s Eve series of saying farewell to 2021 and welcoming in 2022. In this episode, you will be guided through a Shamanic journey of releasing what you would like to let go of in 2021 and stepping into what you are creating in 2022. 

If you haven’t yet you can listen to Part 1 here.
 As you explore this visioning journey, I encourage you to approach it with a sense of play and discovery, as well as a pen and paper so you can answer the journaling prompt below after you’ve listened to the journey.

Journaling Exercise:

1. Listen to the guided Journey in Episode 15.

2. Journal what you have let go of in 2021. 

3. Journal what you are stepping into in 2022.

4. Have a magical New Year!

Connect with Abigail:
Facebook: @yourmindbodyfree
Instagram: @yourmindbodyfree
Schedule a free discovery call
Learn more about the Mentorship Program

 


 

Mind Body Free Podcast Love

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Do you love the show? If so, I’d love it if you left me a review on iTunes. This helps others find the show and get integrative healing support. Simply click here and select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you so much ❤︎

 


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the mind body for your podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I am a healer, a coach, and a mentor. I help people to connect with their inner healers. Their passion and purpose and share their medicine with the world. And today it is episode 15 and this is part two of our New Year’s journey.

Abby (00:00:25) So if you haven’t yet done part one, which is episode 14, I recommend starting there because it’s going to make this next journey even more vivid and clear. We don’t have to do that one first, but it will help make this one even more powerful. So this journey that we’re going to go on today is all about moving into the ceremony of the rite of passage, of letting go of 2021 and stepping into 2022.

Abby (00:01:00) And with that, we let go of anything we don’t need to bring with us into this next year. And in doing that, we create space for what we want to welcome into 2022. So I hope you enjoy this journey. This is another live recording from one of my mentor classes. And again, you are going to want to have a pen and paper handy to do some journaling for the questions afterward. And I encourage you to give yourself some space to relax, to close your eyes, to sink into this because you’ll get the most from this journey that way. All right. So without further ado, here is our New Year’s journey.

Abby (00:01:44) So we’re doing our New Year’s letting go and calling in. We want to let go of 2021 and call in 2020 to journey. So let’s close our eyes and just imagine some light pouring down from above melting into you from the top of your head, down into your brain and eyes and ears, nose and throat.

Abby (00:02:09) Putting that light, fills all of your senses, and releases any blocks from seeing your divine path, you are inherently worth yours. You’re allowing that expression and confidence to flow through you and allowing that light to melt into your shoulders, your arms, and hands, relaxing everything that it touches and feeling and melting down into your lungs as you breathe it into your lungs.

Abby (00:02:42) I’m feeling a melting down into all your organs and your heart, your liver, your stomach and spleen, and your kidneys down through your intestines, melting into your hips and releasing any tension from your hips, feeling that light melting down like a warm smile into your legs, melting into your knees, going down your lower legs and into your ankles and your feet, and just feeling every part of you relaxed. Just letting go of any tension, any worry, any stress, any heaviness releasing that into the light.

Abby (00:03:22) Feeling like getting some tree roots coming from you and going into the Earth and going deeper and deeper and plugging in with a core of Mother Earth and feeling a pulsing life force, hearing the heartbeat of the Earth, feeling yourself sinking up with that now. And sending some gratitude to Mother Earth and feeling her sending some energy up your tree, roots up your legs, filling up behind your belly button. And overflowing up into your heart center and radiating out, filling your whole body, the whole room, you’re in, the whole building you’re in.

Abby (00:04:19) The whole city, the whole country, and the whole planet. Feeling yourself fully connected and supported from above and below and wrapped in a bubble of life. Good and bringing your awareness back into your hard center, now dropping into this space and feeling that pulsing life force there. And feeling yourself expand out every breath that you take as you inhale, feeling your heart center expand, and as you exhale, feel it coming back in, it’s moving with your breath. Good, don’t know you next inhale, leave the energy in your hearts under expanded out as you continue to breathe naturally.

Abby (00:05:15) Right, and we’re going to be moving into your timeline, we’re going to go into space where it’s light and time and work with this dimension. I want you to imagine now that an energy current is coming to pick you up and lift you. So you are just kind of there in front of you now and you can show a powerful home. It works while it can be a cloud of magic carpet or car or plane helicopter. I’m just imagining that you’re stepping on to that energy of current and it’s bringing you up into the sky above the Earth. Into a good web of light.

Abby (00:05:57) And as you look down, you can see the timeline for your life buried on Earth and imagine yourself now just standing on that timeline in your present day. And as you stand on that, it’s like standing in a line of light. And as you look behind you, you see the past as you look ahead of you, you see the future. And a little bit ahead of you, not too far, you see a line of light kind of a marker point in that line of light, says 20. Twenty-two. And I want you to think now of things you’d like to leave behind to let go of.

Abby (00:06:50 )Do not bring with you into 2020 to think of all of the things that you’d like to let go of as you move into this next year. This next part of your life? And I want you to look behind you and see all those things there that you like to let go of that can be recent or very far back in your timeline. Doesn’t matter. I just see them there now knowing that I can’t harm you. They’re just there in your awareness. And I want you to imagine now.

Abby (00:07:32 )There’s a bubble of light here and inside that bubble of light has an irresistible magnetic pull, all of that which you like to release before you move into the new year and just gently with a smile. I put all those old ways, old habits, patterns, and energies into that light to be transformed in that bubble of light. So everywhere that you felt that you resisted bringing a vision into reality, but that goes into that bubble where it feels scary to put yourself out there and make connections and miss all of that everywhere.

Abby (00:08:17) You had to figure it all out before it can happen or it’s all going to explode. Put all of that and that bubble of light. All negative self-talk and self-judgment are depreciation. Take all of that and allow the bubble of light to put in a release from you and create the lead in this story, all cords attached to any of that self-talk. Good. So whenever it feels like you’re not making progress, when a small setback happens, everything is put into that bubble of light. And create and delete any attachments and destroy any attachments to that.

Abby (00:09:04) You can see the depth and. And the power of the progress that you’ve made and feel that within, you know, that to be true, all regret, rigidity, complacency, and worry allow that to go into that bubble of light. Everything that kept you small put that in the rubble. Everything that holds you back releases that into that bubble. Everything that made you feel afraid, release all of that. Everything that made you feel unworthy, release all of that. I mean, the thing that said, you’re not enough and create in this story, all of that and you release it into the bubble of life.

Abby (00:09:56) I want you to imagine if there’s any other kind of orbs of light or of energetic frequencies that you sense and feel it’s not meant to come with you. That feels heavy and something to go where you’re going. Release all of that into that ball of light. And I want you to look at that bubble of light and just say thank you, thank you for all the ways that you’ve served me. Thank you for all the ways that you’ve helped me come to this moment in time now. Thank you for having me cope when I needed help coping. Thank you. Thank you for helping me to adapt when I needed help adapting.

Abby (00:10:44) And I want you to take a moment and decide right now if you would truly like to let this go and make space for what you’re bringing in in 2020. And feeling that inside of you and your heart feeling that, well, the power of actually truly deciding to let it go. And let the power of that decision break any cords or attach to that bubble. And imagine the sky of white above us, and we’re just starting to bubble into the light, seeing it moving on and. Merging with a light in five four three two one. Feeling raindrops of light, pouring down onto you onto your past and your future.

Abby (00:11:52) Blessing you and every part of you with the wisdom and healing from this experience. I want you to look forward to it now. Just beyond that line, that marker point of 2020, do you feel the energies of what you’re calling into this next chapter of your life? I want you to imagine stepping forward just before that line, before that threshold point. And looking into all those things that you’re bringing in, feeling all the energy of it, allowing it to grow and expand. Feeling yourself moving forward, ever so gently. I want you to before you step across that line to the side again in your heart. If you’d like to allow this, and if you truly would like to allow us to welcome this into your life and yourself.

Abby (00:13:02) Knowing that you are worthy and deserving of whatever your heart desires to create. I’m feeling now with that decision. And creating, deleting, and storing all fears. Feeling now with your decision. Because you feel it in your heart, I want you to step across that line into the threshold of 20 22. Just being in this energy of what you’re creating in your life. And one more time scene, the most vivid and vital and powerful scene for you to see now of this life that you’re creating of what you’re calling in and 2022 and being there in five four three two one.

Abby (00:14:06) And as you’re there now, are you inside or outside? Are you alone or is anyone with you? And if others are there, who’s there? It’s daytime or nighttime. What are you doing at this moment? What’s happening around you? And how are you engaging, if others are there, how are you engaging with them? And how are you feeling at this moment? And what are you grateful for? And if there’s one thing you’d like yourself to know. You like your parcel to know about how you created this, what would you like to know? OK. And

Abby (00:15:37) I think a symbol to appear in front of you, a symbol that is a powerful symbol for you, that will help you in creating this and bringing this into your life as an anchor for all of these energies that you’re calling into 20 22. And seeing that symbol in front of you now and welcoming it into your heart. Good and allowing this memory, this moment is feeling to stay with you, meaning you can’t remain in you and continue guiding you forward and your deeply fulfilling life.

Abby (00:16:20) Moving back to the present day, here you are before said before not quite yet in 2020 to feel the lightness in your timeline, the shift fueling the excitement of all that’s coming ahead and just allowing that current of energy to take you back to your body. Back to this moment in time on Earth and being there in five four three two one feeling fully present and alive in your body, you’re feeling well and relaxed and home imagining a set of stairs with five steps as you go on two steps five and four feeling light, feeling clear and easily recalling the details of this journey to on step three and two.

Abby (00:17:14) Feeling present, feeling calm and relaxed in your body. So the onus of one. And if you’re listening to this recording at night, just a moment and turning it off and having a deep, restful sleep that will take you all the way through till morning. And if you’re listening to this recording the day feels as if you just had a fantastic night’s sleep coming into full awareness, taking some deep breaths, feeling energy is circulating up your back and down your front through the microcosmic orbit.

Abby (00:17:49) Feeling your tree roots anchored into the Earth and feeling the energy circulating through your tree roots up your back and down your front. And clap your hands and have them create heat. When you feel that heat in the palm of your hands, cupping your hands over your eyes, bring the heat in through your eyes and down to your belly three times. I’m washing your face, head, neck, and shoulders and down your body.

Abby (00:18:30) All right. Thank you for going on that journey. I hope you enjoyed your ceremonial rite of passage from 2021 and 2022. All right. So now is a great time to grab a pen and some paper and do some journaling. From what you discovered in your journey, you can do a stream of consciousness churning, journeying about things that stood out to you, and just let that flow, which can be a great way of bringing the subconscious into your conscious awareness. And from there, I would then make two lists of everything that you’ve let go of that you’re leaving behind and releasing from 2021 and all that you’re stepping into in 2022 into this next chapter of your life.

Abby (00:19:21) So thank you so much for listening. If you have any questions, reach out. And if you’re curious about the mentor classes that these recordings are from a run for six months, we connect each week with really intimate class size, and together we heal, connect with our inner wisdom and purpose and share our medicine with the world. So if that sounds like something that is calling to you, you can learn more at mindbodyfree.com/mentorship. Registration for this class closes on January 13th.

Abby (00:19:57) So if you’re feeling cold, don’t hesitate to schedule a free discovery call and see if this is right for you. All right. Thank you so much. I’m Abigail Moss. You can reach me on Instagram and Facebook @yourmindbodyfree as well as mindbodyfree.com. And if you love this journey, I encourage you to share it around with anyone else you think may benefit from it. And if you like and subscribe and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts, that helps more people to find this kind of work. So thank you so much. Wishing you a beautiful, phenomenal, expansive 2022, and talk soon.

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