Imposter Syndrome and Being a Healer

In this live coaching session, I coach my guest on releasing feelings of imposter syndrome and stepping into her worthiness as a healer.

 


 

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00):

Hello, and welcome to the mind body free podcast. In the very first episode, I’m your host Abigail Moss, and I’m also a transformation coach and a healer. And this episode is very dear to my heart because this is all about feeling worthy, but working through imposter syndrome so that you can do what you feel really, truly called to do what matters most to you as, as something that I have overcome. And I’ve seen it with many, many people who are on their path to fulfilling their passion and purpose. And this is quite a common obstacle that pops up. And if you have been working through feelings like this, I would like some support. Please encourage you to reach out, to contact me, or whoever you feel called to receive help from because the world needs those amazing gifts that you’ve come here to share. And it’s simply a matter of working through whatever obstacles are on the path to your greatest potential, fulfillment, and joy. So without further ado, please enjoy this coaching session.

Abby (01:16):

So why don’t you tell me about what sex, what you’d like help with? Yeah, so I think that

Guest (01:25):

One thing that I want to get help with is like imposter syndrome and like kind of coming into, like, I’m kind of in the process of, of becoming a healer and I want to own it, I guess, and feel like I belonged in that world in a sense, and just like trusting my intuition when it comes forward more.

Abby (01:48):

Okay. Beautiful. And that’s a beautiful thing to bring into the world. Well, could use more healers, I think. So. All right. And has this imposter syndrome feeling been there and showed up in other parts of your life as well? Yeah

Guest (02:05):

I think it’s always been a thing. Like I always kind of felt like I wasn’t good at anything. I’ve always thought that I was bad at everything from the time I was a little kid. And so I think anytime I was good at anything ever, I always felt like, I was being phony. Like I always, and I always had to like put myself down for it cause I would be like, it’s like, it was too much to believe that I could be good at something I’m not sure. Okay. But you must,

Abby (02:32):

Do you believe you are good at something?

Guest (02:35):

Okay. Yeah, that’s weird, but yeah,

Abby (02:42):

You know, it’s, it is what it is. These beliefs come in early on in life and, they stick to us until we explore them and let them go. Okay. So what does it say when you’re doing something that you, that you love? What is, what are the thoughts that appear, that come up when it’s like, okay. Mine to be a healer moving into this role.

Guest (03:10):

It’s like, what if I’m not good enough? Like, what if I make a mistake? Yeah, just like what, like kind of, what if I’m kidding myself? Like what if, like, what if I’m being stupid and like, this is just like, I’m like I’m being egotistical or something is what comes to mind. Like fair. Do you think that you’re good at this?

Abby (03:31):

Right? How dare he think that you’re good at work? Yeah. Cause it’s like the ego can appear in egotistical ways. Like, I am amazing at this and I can also appear in ways of like, how dare you to have confidence in that. And it’s also like a challenge, right? And so, you know, someone who steps into that role, especially doing anything you love and it’s aligned with your passion and purpose, there’s this, this challenges along the way of like, do you want it, do you want it? Are you sure? Let me see how much you want it so true. And you want it that’s for sure. Yeah. I can tell that as you wouldn’t ask to be coached on this because it’s something that a part of you knows. Okay. Let’s this is, this is part of the journey and moving forward. Yeah. Okay. All right. And so when you think about it, when you think that, you know, and let that thought comes up, we can call it like when those little gremlins come up out there, you do this, or how do you think about being a healer? Who do you think you are? where do you feel that in your body?

Guest (04:41):

In my jaw is the first thing that is coming to me, but I’m now starting to get a headache behind my eyes, which is reminding me of these headaches I always had as a kid. So like all over my face, I think,

Abby (04:52):

On all of your face. Yeah. Okay. And it says, how dare you or who do you think you are? Or what does it say?

Guest (05:00):

Yeah. I’m hearing like, how dare you. I’m just hearing like you worthless like a piece of bleep

Abby (05:08):

Or you’re just really mean like, yeah, it does not sound very nice at all. Yeah. Okay. And just, you know, understand that that came in at some point, everything is serving a purpose in some way, you know, and this all way, that’s, you know, it feels like it to me. And we can look into it more as like, this is serving a purpose in a way that it’s pushing you and to being stronger. Cause you know, it’s, it’s like when someone comes over and shoves you, they keep doing until you say, Hey, you know, screw up. And that is enough no more. And then at that moment that you get stronger.

Guest (05:43):

That’s true. That’s very true.

Abby (05:46):

Up for yourself. Okay. So is what it’s saying true. That you are worthless bleep.

Guest (05:54):

Okay. No, no,

Abby (05:56):

No. Good. So what is more true than what it’s saying? What could be more true than that? Worthless? What is more, what is the opposite of that

Guest (06:08):

To be worthy? I guess.

Abby (06:10):

Yeah. So how does it feel to think that thought I’m worthy of being here healer?

Guest (06:16):

Hmm. On let me, it feels bad.

Abby (06:22):

Gets bad into me. Yeah. Give it a moment.

Guest (06:26):

Chip. You have some weird it’s like, Hmm. Does this belong here? interesting.

Abby (06:33):

Another one. Yeah. We’ll put aside that being a healer part for now and just say I am worthy.

Guest (06:40):

I am worthy. Yeah, I am. Yeah. How does that feel?

Abby (06:45):

Yeah, of course. Say that you’re not worthy is kind of like arguing with a universe where the universe is like, yeah, you have been created, you exist, you know, nature deemed you worthy life deemed you worthy. And then let’s unpack. What does it mean to be a healer?

Guest (07:16):

To be a healer. I just like heard the words, like black sheep, like it’s like against the grain. Like I have to step apart from where I was trying to hide. Almost like kind of this, it’s like courageous in a way, I guess.

Abby (07:35):

Because it can feel that’s an, and that’s an aspect of, you know, when the inner critic says don’t even think about it, then it’s like, okay, I’ll keep hiding. And so, you know that that’s like a way to feel safe by not step stepping out courageously and being seen.

Guest (07:56):

And it’s funny. Cause now I’m like feeling a lot in my heart. Like it’s like, sure it’s safe, but it’s like closing off my heart. Like it’s not what I want.

Abby (08:07):

You’re right. To be. You don’t want to be a black sheep.

Guest (08:10):

Don’t be. Yeah.

Abby (08:12):

And is it true that you have to be a black sheep to be Hmm? Yes. What comes up? Yeah, absolutely. It’s certainly true that you have to be black to be

Guest (08:29):

A healer. No, no, no, certain.

Abby (08:33):

Okay. And so just unpacking a little more, what is a black sheep and you said against the grain and so someone that goes against the grain, is that someone who is, he doesn’t belong, who’s rejected by society. What does it mean?

Guest (08:49):

Someone who’s rejected by society. Someone who doesn’t belong. Yeah. Like an outcast. Yeah. Okay.

Abby (08:59):

And you know, it naturally has those feelings because you know, if you look at our history, those who would, who, who would call healers now and like, herbalists energy workers, plant communicators, animal communicators, you know, people who, who worked in ways that weren’t understood by others were harmed for that. Yeah. And they were outcasts, you know? and that there are other reasons for that other religious and ego and other reasons for those things happening. But, and that’s natural to have that still on the psyche. Yeah. Call it the which wound, wherein the collective psyche, there’s this, all of these people who’ve been healers throughout history have experienced these things. Yeah. And, and at that time it may have been true, but we’re looking at today, what is true today? And so have you seen, different healers, different people who you’d consider a healer out there in society being accepted by society?

Guest (10:04):

Yeah, I have.

Abby (10:07):

How does it feel to see that

Guest (10:10):

It feels good. It feels, it feels, yeah. Like it just feels like it shouldn’t be, to it’s

Abby (10:21):

Natural. Yeah. They’re hoping they’re offering something beautiful to the world and supporting and serving,…nd facilitating this process of healing and awakening. It’s natural. Yeah. At some point throughout human history, we had pain around that and there are other reasons for that, but we don’t need to go into that right now because we’ve been through that. Yeah. Yeah. So look at, we’re looking around at the evidence today. So is it true that today to be a healer means that you have to be rejected by society and be an outcast?

Guest (10:58):

Who it’s interesting? Like almost like broadly. No, but then when I get almost like the closer I get to like my inner circle and it’s not even true because like, I don’t think with my friends, but like, just like my, like the community that I came from, I S I still, like, I feel like I would be projected

Abby (11:18):

And I understand that, and that’s, that’s entirely natural and it’s part of growth and change, you know? And when you change, you find new people, new communities, cheer on that’s part of growth, you know, and those who, who you knew may change in different directions. And they may find their communities or stay with the ones they have. And that’s okay. We all move and move forward and grow. And that’s part of the evolution.

Guest (11:43):

Like almost like I don’t need to be accepted by the community that I already chose to leave.

Abby (11:52):

It’s actually, yeah. When you thought of what will everybody think? It’s like, well, I can go to my, everybody,

Guest (11:59):

Everybody now. It’s so funny. Cause yeah. Like my friends and like, yeah, like it’s just like the community I surround myself with now what like does accept me. They actively accept me. But I always think about all the people that, I left because they wouldn’t accept me. And I’m like, oh, well they accept me now. How can I convince them?

Abby (12:20):

Right. Right. And it doesn’t matter. No. Because you’ve already moved on. I have. Yeah. Updating those beliefs for your life today, your life now, because you’re already moving into this. Yeah. That’s yours. Yeah. So moving on from the history of what it meant to be a healer moving on from the previous community that you had on recognizing now that you say those people are actively accepting you, not even a passive. Yeah.

Guest (12:57):

It’s true. It’s true. I can like, feel like melting this in my face. Like, I dunno like the gremlin energy is just like melt, melting.

Abby (13:11):

Thanks for letting me know because it’s wonderful. It’s visceral when you feel those shifts happening. Cause they all happen in your body and into the experience that you know, it’s shifting. Yeah. Good. So is it true that you need to be rejected or outcast to be a healer? No. No. What’s what could be more true than that. Okay. Will the opposite of that be

Guest (13:36):

Okay. I’m hearing the word like acceptance. For some reason, I am accepted that doesn’t feel like V1. What was the opposite one? I already forget.

Abby (13:55):

So the opposite one and that’s good. Your mind, your mind shifting I forgetting is things are processing and moving neurons are moving in new places. So it was that belief that said to be a healer means you have to be rejected by society and be an outcast. And so acceptance. That’s good. The opposite of that. Yeah. And so can’t control what others do. You know some will receive what you do because they’re meant to when they’re ready to,…and others. Well, and that’s fine. And they’re not, they’re not meant to work with you, or at least not at that time. Right. When we’re talking about, you know, society as a whole. Now, if you were to move forward into what you’re doing and even in your community that you’re around now, you use that are actively accepting you. Yeah. Is it safe for you to become a healer within the life and the world that you are in now? Yes. Good. How’s it feel to say yes.

Guest (14:54):

Yeah. It makes me want to cry. Like it’s like, oh yeah. Like it, because I feel like it wasn’t safe before and

Abby (15:00):

Now. Yes, exactly. exactly. It’s pretty cool to realize that, oh, it is safe now. Yeah. Like I can come out from my cave. The storm is over. Yeah.

Guest (15:15):

Yeah.

Abby (15:16):

And there’s another piece of this too, is around acceptance is that feels accepting yourself. Yeah. Who you are and in coming out from your cave and letting that be seen, that’s another way of accepting yourself. It’s a way of allowing others to see you.

Guest (15:38):

Yeah.

Abby (15:41):

So can you, is it okay to accept all of yourself now as a healer, as who you are and with the world and life you have now?

Guest (15:50):

Yeah, it is. Yeah. So weird. I’m like flashing to like the darkness of like, just like the mental illness and stuff I struggled with before I like came into my power and it’s, I’m like seeing myself, like stepping out into the world, like with both and just like how this is like both, I don’t know like it’s okay. They like, they’re allowed to coexist. Yes. And, and embodying that almost, it feels like, just true. Like it just feels, I don’t know. It feels good. I had like the broken bits and just present the part of me that like everything’s all together. It’s like, no, like this is the reality. I don’t know.

Abby (16:38):

It’s okay to have broken bits. It’s okay. To be vulnerable and be honest because everyone has broken bits. Yeah. They’re all working on it. Yeah. Yeah. And like you mentioned with, you know, the mental illness that, and you mentioned it briefly, and then I was part of stepping into your power. Now, did that help you step into your power? Or how did, how did that affect you stepping into your power?

Guest (17:07):

Well, it was like, if I don’t figure this out, I’m going to go to what I believed I would, yeah. I’d have to go to like a psychiatric ward or beyond medications for the rest of my life. And it was like, from the time I was a little girl, cause as I started, I was hearing voices from the time I was like five. And so it was like, I needed to figure this out or else this is going to be a dark life. And then, so it was just like a massive catalyst, like, like I don’t know my earliest memories. Like I remember when the internet first existed, the first thing I started researching was ways how to heal this. It’s just like always dry, like a driving undercurrent in my life. Wow. That’s interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

Abby (17:57):

Yes. That’s beautiful. And that’s a really important message for people to hear. Yeah. You know, and in other cultures, in shamanic Aboriginal cultures, illness is seen as the birth of

Guest (18:08):

A healer. It’s like, it feels true to me. Like yeah.

Abby (18:15):

And it’s, that’s experiential for you. Yeah. Yes. That exactly. It catalyzes you to find ways to find healing.

Guest (18:24):

Yeah, definitely. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Which is so funny because I mean, you see so many, it’s not funny, but like you see so many people with struggling with mental illness and it’s like, you’re a healer, you’re a healer, you’re a healer, you’re a healer. Like, it just feels like I do like, that’s the one thing like I just feel like we’re all healers. Like we’re just, it’s a matter of time for when we tap into it.

Abby (18:47):

Yes, exactly. Beautiful.

Abby (18:51):

Yeah. We all

Abby (18:52):

Have, there’s a concept of original medicine. The idea is that we all come into the world with our own original medicine with our gifts. Yeah. And as we align with who we are with our nature, with our gifts and clear away any beliefs, so unworthy or anything else that gets stuck in the way of, between you and sharing that with the world, as you clear that out and just fall into your rhythm and alignment with your nature and life around you, then you, you are the human nature in yourself through being you

Guest (19:25):

True. That’s so true. It’s just, yeah. It’s like, you don’t have to, you just, are it?

Abby (19:30):

And that’s what you’ve been doing on this path of learning how to heal these pieces. And that’s, you know, it’s very common, you know, a lot of people who step into that role of being a healer have had a lot of struggle in life. And that was the motivation I included that catalyzes them, catalyzes us to do this work.

Guest (19:52):

Hm. Yeah. It’s cool too. I’m just, I feel like I’m seeing where like this black sheep ism even like helped me to like, I’m just over the years, all of the different things I was struggling with and all the like advice that people would give me that I’d be like, Nope, that’s not for me. And I would just be like, no, I’m not doing that. And the kind of like the pushback I would get from all of that. But it’s like, it’s interesting. Like looking back, it’s like, oh, I always knew exactly where I needed to go. And I was like going there and I thought, I wasn’t because everyone around me was saying that I was doing the wrong thing and trying to take me somewhere else. But I was always doing like exactly.

Abby (20:31):

Exactly. Yeah. Beautiful. And that’s a good point, you know? W is it even worse to be a black sheep or is it, yeah, it’s

Guest (20:41):

Good. I think it’s good. Wow.

Abby (20:43):

As you said, going against the grain and if the grain, a lot of dysfunction in it, can be a good thing.

Guest (20:49):

Yeah  Hmm.

Abby (20:53):

And that’s part of the part of being a healer is recognizing worth, you know, whether it’s just imbalanced as harmonies and helping to bring it back into balance and stepping out of that. And nobody noticed it instead of moving with the grain, moving with the flow of it. Yeah.

Guest (21:07):

True. It’s like that, that whole thing of like, is it familiar or is it something that’s like actually in alignment with you? Like, is this, are you doing this? Because it’s just like comfortable. It’s what you’ve always known. Or are you doing this? Because it’s true to your heart.

Abby (21:25):

Exactly. Well said, well said, beautiful. So I want to move, come back to this. So are you worthy? You are, are you worthy? Yeah. First. Yeah. Are you worthy of being a healer?

Guest (21:42):

Yes. How does it feel to say yes to that? It’s weird. It just feels like, a matter of fact, like it’s like, yeah,

Abby (21:51):

Yeah. Of course. That you’re worthy of being your most authentic self. Yes. Yeah. So obvious now the truth is once you uncover like, oh yeah, that makes sense.

Guest (22:09):

Yeah. So

Abby (22:12):

How does that feel in your body to say I’m worthy of being

Guest (22:16):

A healer? I’m worthy of being a healer? I just felt like my heart, like opening. I could just like, see like, ah, like just like a light out of my heart. Yeah.

Abby (22:31):

Beautiful. And then say the truth is always expansive. It’s always an expanding outward and that we’re, we’re expansive, everything in the universe is expanding. And whenever there’s a belief that interrupts that the feels constructive as you know, it’s not true. And so this is another way to check in. I’m like, oh, it feels expansive and light and you know, empowering than that’s aligned for you. Yeah. Good. And is it safe? Is it safe to be seen?

Guest (23:00):

Oh, Hmm, yes. Yeah. How does that feel? It was like a part of me that wants to hide, but like, it’s like, I know I’m safe within myself. So like, like it’s like almost like if I get rejected, like I know I have that home within myself. So it’s like, I am safe. Like you can go out. I don’t know. Yeah.

Abby (23:30):

Yes, exactly. You do know. Absolutely. Yeah. Is it safe to be within yourself completely and fully? Yes. Yeah. Beautiful. And in that, does that also involve, you know, allowing yourself to be seen when it feels right. When it seem appropriate when it’s helpful or necessary and moving along your path?

Guest (23:58):

Yeah,

Abby (24:00):

Yeah. And so what is, what is the part that wants to hide have to say,

Guest (24:07):

Saying, let me ask, where do you feel it in your body? It’s yeah, it’s kind of like my, it feels a bit like my throat on my jaw and like, my shoulders are like, feel like they have to like curve inward a bit. Like

Abby (24:24):

They’re protecting the

Guest (24:27):

The thing that I’m hearing is like, I’m almost like hearing a question. Like, is it okay sometimes too? Like, is it okay to hide? Like, can I hide sometimes? Like, do I have to always show everyone who I am, but then also like, I feel like, yes, just maybe not. I don’t know if the answer then came from me, like my heart was like, yes. And then I didn’t want to hear that.

Abby (24:54):

Yes, too. It’s okay to hide or always be showing,

Guest (24:58):

Always be showing, but not like, but I almost got it differently. Like I don’t have to like tell him, like, I can just like, like embody myself, but don’t maybe I don’t have to, you know? Yeah. I’ll everybody, my whole life story.

Abby (25:15):

Exactly, exactly. Cause you know, what does it mean to let yourself be seen? It doesn’t mean you have to go flashing down the street. Yeah. That’s true.

Guest (25:30):

Like standing up straight.

Abby (25:33):

Standing up straight. How does it feel to stand up straight? 

Guest (25:37):

Exposing,

Abby (25:40):

Right? Cause you’re not hiding. And it, you know, part wants this for you and also it’s okay. There are moments when you don’t do that because we live in life and you’re learning and growing and you know, we, we go through lessons and we contract a bit, and then we re-realize the lesson and we expand again. Yeah. But it sounds like your heart wants you to continually move towards this expansion. Tell me where I’m wrong. Yeah.

Guest (26:13):

No, that feels right. That feels right. I’m being shown an experience I had at work the other day where I like didn’t like something that came up in conversation. I didn’t want to share a piece of myself essentially. And then I shrunk down into that. Like I felt I should, I can see how my shoulders curled. And I was as nervous and kind of like, no, no, like, like kind of just like, I didn’t want to share that part of myself. And like, it’s, I’m like, okay, like that was fine. Like, I didn’t want to share that part of myself. Like, but sit up straight, like just say no, like it’s like, I feel guilty saying like, you know, I feel like I have to share myself. And it’s like, I thought that I would like, that feeling felt yucky in my body. And so I was psychoanalyzing it being like, oh, I have to, I have to be open and say all these things, but it’s like, no, I just have to be confident if I don’t want to, like, I just have to like speak it and let it be said and let that awkward pause happen and let that person like feel whatever they want to feel about me.

Guest (27:14):

Not wanting to share that piece of myself. I don’t know

Abby (27:17):

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And that’s a great insight and good work and unpacking that. And that’s part of the boundary that, you know, it’s a healthy boundary and you could even say like, oh, that’s a story for another day or, you know, whatever feels right for you. However, you want to say it or not. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want, so you just be like, I don’t want to share that.

Guest (27:38):

That’s true. Yeah. Hm.

Abby (27:42):

And that’s something that, you know, as you’re in this process of unfolding and coming and merging into the world and you know, all of your power, you know, you can sense, so some people, are they ready to hear what I have to say? Or are they ready to hear, you know, a very broad base truth of what I have to say that in a way that they can understand, or is it better for me and okay. For me, it’s always okay. Just to say, you know, that’s a story another day.

Guest (28:09):

Yeah. That’s true. Yeah. And even that wording, like it’s a story for another day, I feel like that’s just so much easier. It’s like, I’ve never known how to just like how to not do that. Like, I’ve always felt weird guilt around not giving away my secrets to people for some bizarre reason. And so it’s like, I’ve never known how to like smoothly. Just say, no, I don’t want to tell you that. And they’re like, no, why not? This is weird. And I’m like, it is weird, but stop.

Abby (28:44):

Yeah. And it’s natural that you, you know, it’s a lot of people, you know, growing up as children, a lot of us aren’t taught healthy boundaries and that’s changing now. You know, gradually as our society is becoming aware of these things. But you know, a lot of people have boundary problems because we’re, you know, forced to hug people and we’re forced to eat certain foods that our body doesn’t want us to eat at different times. We’re forced to do all of these things that in our bodies we don’t want to do. And so this creates confusion and then this creates a boundary kind of confusion happening. And so it’s just relearning and reestablishing them because we come into the world knowing what we want to do. And I mean, we don’t want to do most kids are, have no problems. They, I do not want to do that. It’s not a problem. Well, until, you know, we get forced to do things.

Guest (29:36):

Yeah, that’s true.

Abby (29:39):

So, we’re just relearning these boundaries. Yeah. And as you can comfortable with them, I guess, more natural and it’s it, you know, it gets to be awkward when you’re in that process of like, ah, I’m trying to figure it out and that’s okay. But as you get more comfortable stay with it and own it and, you know, realize that you don’t need to feel bad about it. It gets easier to say things in ways that are, you know, the energy that you say it with as well is just confident and calm. And then for other people, it becomes more confident and calm too. Cause you’re figuring it out. And as you do, it gets more.

Guest (30:09):

That’s true. That’s true. Hmm.

Abby (30:12):

Yeah. Okay. So what does it mean to hide? To hide

Guest (30:22):

Like, shrink, clothes, separate. Okay. Words are coming. I can’t make a sense

Abby (30:33):

Of great descriptors. So shrink, close and separate. Yeah. So is that from who are you doing that? What are you separating from at that moment? Is it them? Is it you? Is it both? Is it a bigger piece of life, but is it

Guest (30:51):

Yeah, it’s like from them as the world, like go away.

Abby (30:57):

Okay. Yeah. Okay. And that’s okay to do sometimes. Sometimes. Okay. But you shut the blinds. I’m like, I’m just gonna nap in the dark right now and that’s okay. True. And if that’s what you need at that moment, that’s okay. Yeah. Okay. With yourself, what you need.

Guest (31:13):

Yeah. That’s funny. I just had a visual of a dog. That’s just like, you know, maybe moved into a new home or something and they’re scared and they’re kind of cowering and it’s just like, they’re trying to hide and like find safety and like, you don’t go up to that dog and just like hug that dog. Like you give that dog, if it wants to hide right now, it’s okay. Like you can hide.

Abby (31:35):

Yeah, absolutely. We adopted a feral dog a while ago and you know, guilt around, we push her to get her outside of her comfort zone and then we give her a face to just process and integrate. And it’s that always, you know, moving forward and then processing and you know, being kind of gentle with yourself. Well,

Guest (31:55):

Yeah, it’s true.

Abby (31:58):

So, and to let yourself be seen, does that mean that you have to be seen 24/7? Like even when you’re sleeping or can you just, you should be able to hide something, not like a bad thing. Why am I,

Guest (32:19):

Yeah, I think it does.

Abby (32:22):

And so how would it feel to be, to allow yourself to be seen in your authenticity and power and also have that balance in your life to just do your own thing and have your own space?

Guest (32:36):

Yeah. That’s that feels balanced. That feels good.

Abby (32:41):

Good. Okay. And so how does that part of you that had a concern with being seen feel now,

Guest (32:50):

Just see, this has got a vision of me just like napping all snuggled up in a cave. Like I’m just like finally like I can just like chill here for a minute.

Abby (33:01):

There’s no guilt around it later. Like I just want it exactly. There’s nothing wrong with that. And whenever the mind makes something wrong, it creates this separation, this out of alignment. And then it’s hard to be fully in whatever you’re doing. Even if it’s something you want and you crave and in a way need, if a part of your mind is making that wrong, it’s hard to fully soak in the benefits of it.

Guest (33:27):

Yeah. Hmm. True.

Abby (33:31):

Yeah. So letting that go, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with taking that time. It was like bears hibernate every year and when they hibernate, they, you know, scientists are studying them because they have this amazing ability to heal wounds, like any other, like any other animal while they’re in that space. And there’s like this deep restorative state that they go into for months out of every year.

Guest (33:58):

It’s okay to be a bear sometimes. Oh yeah.

Abby (34:07):

And that’s part of, that’s part of, you know, that’s part of the balance of life of like that active doing kind of young energy where it’s bright and out in the world and that, you know, that yin, that’s just kind of, you know, receives and this kind of draws and word and rests and it’s that day and night, it’s that balance of everything flowing back and forth.

Guest (34:31):

So how do you tell, so is it just going to come with time kind of like, how will I tell if I’m like hiding because of like, almost like a fear of rejection versus hiding, because like, I just don’t want to express myself.

Abby (34:45):

Hmm. That’s a great question. So it’s is it coming from an empowered state versus a disempowered state? Yeah. Yeah. It’s how it feels. Does it feel in that moment, does it feel expansive for you to say that’s a story for another day or does it feel like shrinking?

Guest (35:08):

I’m almost just like take a breath and like sit up and just like, yeah, I’m just, I’m being shown to visuals right now. One of me, like in a cave, like snuggling up and just like content sleeping and the other one of me like peering out the cave, like scared to go outside, which 1:00 AM I?

Abby (35:29):

Right. And you know, maybe there’s those, those both pieces there feels like we’re tapping you into that. You know, the part of you that can, that does embrace the restorative, you know, healing aspects of just being that bear in the cave. And then it’s the part that’s afraid to go outside… That’s what the bear wakes up is not afraid to go out there. It’s like, all right. Typically it’s to berries. Does it feel like there’s a part of you there? That’s still afraid.

Guest (36:08):

Yeah. A little bit like, yeah. Like just like rejection.

Abby (36:15):

And what is it saying? So it’s saying that you know, they might reject me that might hurt. What does it say?

Guest (36:23):

Like they won’t, they won’t get me. Like they won’t get who I am. Like, I don’t want to tell them about me. Yeah. And is it,

Abby (36:34):

And if they don’t get you, is there anything wrong with that? No, no, no. Cause who needs to get you

Guest (36:45):

Me? Exactly. I can go. Yeah. And yeah, when

Abby (36:53):

You get you and you own that, it gives, it allows others to do that, but they might be busy with their stuff, with their own stories, you know, but their insecurities and fears and triggers and all of that stuff that they’re dealing with too. Yeah. And so it’s not that they, you know, wouldn’t love the depth of you from the depth of them. It’s that there’s so much stuff in between that happening and you can’t necessarily take them as a way, but you can work on yours. Yeah. I can’t take theirs away. They, they can work through that themselves. That’s their job. That’s their journey. And yours is working through you.

Guest (37:36):

yep. I just, it’s so simple. It’s like, yeah, I can just do what I want. Like I can just like, just like, yeah. It’s just so easy.

Abby (37:47):

You just have to call your heart. You have to like

Guest (37:51):

Figure out like, okay. Yeah. I’m just overthinking.

Abby (37:57):

And again, gleaning that resilience to rejection. It’s okay. For others to disagree. But when you are, are in your truth, in your authenticity, when you know who you are, then that is that resilience.

Guest (38:13):

That’s true.

Abby (38:17):

Because you know, you much better than their projection of you muddled in with all of their stories. Yeah.

Guest (38:24):

That’s true. Yeah. Like it’s just like I’ll yeah. I could just present myself and that’s who I am. That’s all.

Abby (38:33):

As much or as little as feels right. In each moment.

Guest (38:37):

Yeah.

Abby (38:42):

Beautiful. And so how does it feel to know you’re worthy of being a healer and to honor yourself within each moment, allowing yourself to be seen as feels right in your heart?

Guest (39:06):

Yeah. It feels good. It feels like, yeah. Just like,

Abby (39:12):

Okay, good, good. Useful. And so if ever a gremlin word comes up and says that again. I want you to tell it, I am worthy of being a healer. Yeah. I am worthy of being me because that’s kind of the same thing.

Guest (39:29):

Yeah, that’s true. I just said it to the gremlin and he was like, no, fair enough. Just checking if we knew exactly. Okay.

Abby (39:51):

Come back again next week. Essays, feel that way until it’s like, just gives up like, all right, you’ve got those covered. I mean,

Guest (40:03):

Oh my goodness. Can I write this and sticky notes and hanging everywhere.

Abby (40:09):

Good, says remind you to read it every day. Write it down, say it out loud, say it in your head. Say it anytime. A thought appears where it’s like, wait a minute. It wasn’t your path. And I had to do this too. You know, I’ve been through that. I had those thoughts that came in and be like, I don’t like doing this. And like, what I love doing this and it just floated away. It’s a challenge. Yeah. How

Guest (40:37):

Much do you want it?

Abby (40:40):

Yeah. And when you get to that truth, it just feels natural.

Guest (40:43):

Yeah.

Abby (40:46):

Good. Beautiful. How has that feeling in your jaw and your head?

Guest (40:55):

It’s like it’s yeah. It’s it feels like that melting feeling again. And I feel like I see a lot of flight. Like there’s a lot of light coming in. May just be sending my eyes are closed, but I’m noticing the light a lot more than I was before.

Abby (41:10):

Yeah. Beautiful. And it is, it’s interesting when you shift those things inside, you’ve noticed different things. Yeah. With your eyes closed, you’re noticing more light coming in. Yeah. Or light was always there, but you see it now just

Guest (41:23):

Seeing it. Yeah. That’s true. Yeah, exactly.

Abby (41:27):

Same thing with the light inside of you, you know, that Ruth was always there and you’re just seeing it and feeling it, experiencing it now.

Guest (41:33):

That’s cool. I just see such a clear line down my entire life history of like, oh yeah. Like I’ve always been doing this. Like this has always, always been following that line of truth. Like it’s cool. I didn’t, it felt I have, of course, it’s like a meandering road, but like I just see the straight shot through right now.

Abby (41:53):

Exactly. Beautiful. Yeah. The truth is what moves you forward? It’s what it’s the navigational system is true north. It’s moving to where you need to go.

Guest (42:06):

Yeah.

Abby (42:07):

Beautiful. Thank you so much. And so yeah. Write those post-it notes out loud. Say it to your head in your head. Say it. And any thoughts that challenge that may come up and challenge you and just keep reminding yourself of that. And then that feeling of that, would you say it was like an expanding sun out of your chest?

Guest (42:29):

Yeah. He’s like, I’m stretching my arm. Like it’s like, ah,

Abby (42:36):

Yeah. And as you say it, you know, feel it too. I like to include that. Include that as part of your meditation of like this moment of like, you know, saying I am worthy of being a healer, AKA I’m worthy of being myself and sharing that then, and then feeling that expansive sun coming out of your chest and unless you’re a feeling it in all parts of

Guest (42:59):

You. Yeah. It feels like this. Like, as it feels like such a, it like, it almost like it needs to become a morning ritual for me for some time here. Like that feels like such a great way to wake up in the day, just like do a little meditation tune in and be like, oh yeah, I’m a healer.

Abby (43:17):

Yeah. Wonderful. It’s like your way of plugging in like into source energy or light and just aligning, like bringing your soul into your body before you start your day and then moving forward from that place. Like even if it’s five minutes just to connect in, that’d be so powerful. That will be so powerful for you.

Guest (43:36):

Hmm. Yes. Yeah. Just like I keep feeling, I’m feeling myself need to yawn and I was like holding it back. And then I remember you and I had done a session before and like a lot of yawning came up, I’m integrating with Yon, like

Abby (43:53):

You mentioned. Cause I was going to say something, I love you. And God time when I was in Peru and there’s working with the Shapebos shamans there they’d come up to people as they’re moving through people’s energy. And it’s just a great, such a great way of shifting energy. Yeah. I love that with your body. Yeah. Like you can, you can like feel it, you can, and you can feel it moving as you do it. Yeah. So many times. Well, thank you, my dear. Continue to rename, remain nameless. Thank you for sharing and thank you for sharing a little bit of your story. And I think it’s, I know it’s really important for people who have struggled or do still struggle with mental illness to hear the stories of triumph and understanding that, oh, this is part of the catalyst in my growth.

Guest (44:59):

That’s so true. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you for always just realigning.

Abby (45:07):

Thank you for coming in with your open heart and your beautiful healing heart. And I’m so happy for the path that you’re on. And for all those who are gonna get to experience your healing as you’re on this journey. Thank you.

Abby (45:27):

I hope you enjoy that as much as I did it just completely lights me up to get, to see somebody stepping more into their power and authenticity and how awesome for the rest of the world to get to experience the magic that she is more and more as she continues to unfold into her power and depth and beauty. So thank you so much for listening. I’m Abigail Moss. I’m a transformation coach and healer, and you can learn more about me at mindbodyfree.com. And if you or anyone you know, is interested in receiving coaching, please reach out. Please go to mindbodyfree.com/podcast and fill out the form. I would love to connect with you. Thank you so much. Continue to be beautiful and amazing and shine your light on the world. Take care.

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