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24-Imposter Syndrome

purple banner for imposter syndrome

Imposter Syndrome

In episode 24: Imposter Syndrome, I unpack what imposter syndrome is, how to recognize if you have it, and what you can do to overcome it. And if you’re ready for imposter syndrome to stop holding you back and stealing your joy, we are focusing on overcoming imposter syndrome for all of August in the in the Mind Body Free Community. Sign up for your free trial at the link below and join us in saying goodbye to imposter syndrome so you can create and live a life you love!

Join the Community: mindbodyfree.com

Connect with Abigail:
Instagram @yourmindbodyfree
Facebook @yourmindbodyfree

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Ready to heal and get your energy back?
Join our healing community for highly sensitive people here.

Full Show Transcript

00:00:00
Hello and welcome to the mind-body free podcast, where you will find all things healing and awakening, from evocative conversations to guided meditations to incredible insight on how to heal and regulate your nervous system, how to heal your soul and come into wholeness, and how to tap into your limitless potential and follow your purpose in this world. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I am a healer, mentor and coach trainer. I’m here to support the healing and awakening of life on earth by helping you to remember the magic of who you truly are. Thank you for being here. I hope you enjoy the show.

00:01:00
Hello friends, how are you doing today? Personally, I’ve just gotten over COVID, which was an interesting journey, being my first time experiencing that. Fortunately for me and my husband it wasn’t too severe. I still feel like a little bit of recovery on one day. It’s probably going to take a couple more weeks before I get everything out of my lungs. But overall I’m doing ok and happy to have my energy back and really happy to be full of antibodies for the next few months. So go lick some doorknobs, not really, but I could, but I won’t so anyway, I want to talk to you guys today about something that is an affliction that is so widespread and so unnecessary, an I’m talking about impostor syndrome, and impostor syndrome is this feeling, this nagging feeling, this voice in the head, this belief that you are going to get found out as an impostor, as a fraud, as someone who is not deserving of being in this role, this job title being perceived in this way? It’s like underneath. There’s a part of you that’s afraid you’re going to get found out, that your going to be seen and deemed unworthy or not good enough to be doing what you’re doing or even what you want to be doing? 

So impostor syndrome, how it shows up in your life. It could be you are already doing something you want to be doing and that you love, but you don’t feel like you deserve it or like you belong or like you’re going to be able to keep doing it, like you feel like you’re going to be found out. Another way it can show up is preventing you from even stepping into attempting to get that promotion or do that work you really love, or maybe take a training to become someone else, something else. You know it your career to do something that’s more purposeful. It can prevent you from doing that and it can show up as avoidance, as you know, thinking about it, thinking a lot about it, but then just not taking action or getting really close and finally getting that big break that you want. Maybe you’ve been trying to get a certain kind of writing gig and you make a contact and it could make a lot of changes for you. But then you don’t follow-up it’s this sort of self sabotaging behavior that is a symptom of impostor syndrome. 

I hear it talked about quite a bit quite prevalent and it’s talked about in a way that would assume that it’s just an affliction like some sort of incurable disease. I laugh at that because it’s not. It’s incurable and it’s a common thing that so many of us deal with. But you can a 100% absolutely break through it and it doesn’t have to take years to do that. So the reason we have in poster syndrome is quite simply on a subconscious level, beginning very likely from childhood. We don’t believe that we are good enough and not feeling good enough is a very, very common thing. So when we are younger, when we’re little children, we don’t have the ability to rationalize. So we perceive the way others behave as a reflection of our own value. So if we’re little and someone isn’t around, say our parents are busy working or absent or dealing with their own struggles, not there to give us the care and attention that we crave, our minds subconsciously would could deduce that they’re not around. They’re not around because I’m not enough. 

I’m not enough for them or I’m not good enough. I didn’t get chosen for the soccer team because I’m not good enough in that moment. Boom, a subconscious belief is formed. Not good enough, not enough, and that hangs out in the subconscious in the background, where we’re not even consciously thinking about it. It hangs out in our subconscious mind throughout our whole life, until we go and update that belief from when we were very young. So most of us are walking around with beliefs that we formed about our own identity from the time we were four or 56 younger, even babies. It might be worth while to update those beliefs. They could use some improvement, and how we do that is through going into the subconscious. There’s something called hypnosis, which is just becoming very relaxed and very aware. We go into the subconscious and in your subconscious you have stored every experience you’ve ever been through. All of your memories are stored there and all of your core beliefs around your own self-worth your place in the world, about the world at large. 

All of these very, very poor, hugely influential beliefs are stored in your subconscious mind and how we shift those as we go back to the moment of their creation through the subconscious mind. Your mind is able to access those memories safely and easily with proper guidance, and we go back there and we find that part of you that younger you who didn’t feel loved or cared for or wanted, or enough or worthy or good enough. We find that younger and we gave them love and we explain to them that of course they are enough. We all are. Just because no mom or dad was busy at work, didn’t mean that they weren’t enough, didn’t mean that they weren’t loved and wanted, or just because their older brother was really good at sports doesn’t mean that they’re but they’re not also full of incredible gifts in this world that they could create and do and be whoever they want. 

So as the adult we have the compassion and understanding as the inner child. We are in a place where we don’t we can’t rationalize and we often get caught in the past with these beliefs, these painful experiences that form these beliefs. So we go back to that moment of the past as the loving adult and bring healing to the inner child and we remind them that you are enough. Of course you are anyone who has a child or a niece or nephew or you know someone in their life they care for, or even a fresh baby. You would look at their eyes, look into their eyes and you would never see that baby is not good enough. You would never say that baby is an impostor. It’s ridiculous, but yet we hold on to these beliefs from when we’re very young and we allow them to have massive influence in our well being and in our lives. These subconscious beliefs form the thoughts that form the behaviors and emotional responses that cause us the self sabotage that caused us to not go for what we really want in life. 

They cause us to play small and to keep ourselves small, but they don’t have to. It’s not necessary. So in order to overcome an impostor syndrome, we need to access the part of us that doesn’t believe we are enough or that we’re good enough. We need to go back to the inner child, we need to bring them healing, and that is how we step through. That’s how we step into our truth, the truth being that you are, you always have been, and you always will be more than enough, and there’s nothing that can change that. We never look at a tree in the forest and say it’s not good enough. We never look at our, our animal companion or dog or cat or something else and say they’re not good enough. That’s it’s preposterous and it’s equally preposterous to say that about ourselves or each other as human beings. We are all worthy of being here. We are all worthy of following our dreams and our passions, of figuring things out. So if this is something that you have struggled with, this feeling of being an impostor, of feeling afraid, you’re going to get found out and deemed unworthy of self sabotaging behavior, where you don’t take action to get that promotion. Follow that big win, even in a healthy relationship, if you start sabotaging that, if you find your relationship that isn’t loving and nurturing and kind, and these are all symptoms of a subconscious belief, that’s not true. And the good news is you 100% can update those beliefs and I can help you. So that leads me to next month, August, we have a new theme in the mind-body free community. 

It’s a membership community that you can join for 30 days free of charge and get access to four incredible healing classes. So we’re all about overcoming Imposter Syndrome in August, when you come and when you join, you can come and be part of this immersive, incredible healing group experience, where we go back and we heal up part of our younger self and we bring in love. We bring in the truth, knowing that we’re enough and we integrate that part of ourselves back into holiness with the rest of us, and that frees you to then have this incredible confidence and esteem, knowing that you’re enough exactly as you are, and from there you can create and do anything from a place of already feeling worthy.

Because knowing you’re worthy doesn’t make you less effective. It doesn’t take away an edge, I have heard some people say. Not feeling good enough gives me an edge to push more and do more. That’s bullshit. I’m sorry, but it is not feeling good enough stops you from seeing the deeper purpose and path in your own life. It stops you from moving forward on that path. You can end up grinding and grinding away and sabotaging left-right in the centre and then getting more, but still not feeling satisfied with what you’ve worked so hard to create. Because if you don’t feel like you, you are enough inside. Nothing outside of you is going to make you feel like it’s enough. Nothing outside of you is going to be enough period. The only way to feel enough to feel satiated, to feel fulfilled is inside. It’s looking at what’s going on within you and healing those parts of you that don’t feel whole. So that’s something that you would like to do so that you can create a life you live and actually enjoy it. Then come and join us. We are having our next healing transformation session on overcoming impostors syndrome on Thursday, August fourth, and it’s going to be an incredible experience. We have more classes throughout the month, Janet Lee is going to be teaching therapeutic Gong, which is all about healing the body, integrating what we experience and feeling more energy, more strength, more vitality, more clarity that she’s teaching every couple of weeks. And then I’m going to be doing a follow-up class integrating all of this incredible transformation that we go through. 

So I hope to see you there. The community is a place for people who are sensitive, for people who want authentic connection, people who want to grow exponentially, to heal and let go of all of these things that kept them. Being small, community is for you. If that’s what you’re looking for and you can learn more at mine, body free dot com, you can sign up for a free 30 day. Incredibly, you will also find a beautiful, heart centered community there and lots of healing resources. So I encourage you to come check it out, realize that you can do anything you want to do, you can be anyone you want to be, you can create a life. You love and actually enjoy it. We’ve seen lots of people who create abundance and wealth and who are successful, quote on quote, based on the idea of having lots of financial wealth. However, a lot of them, you can tell, are unhappy. They’re always trying to make more. They’re not being kind to other people. It’s all about making more and more and more and more, because they don’t believe inside that they are enough, and so we don’t have to partake in that insanity. We can find freedom from that trap.

00:13:56
And the way you do that is always inside. It starts in you, so I hope to see there. If you have any questions to me, a comment you can send me. You can find me on Ingram and facebook at your mind-body free, and I would love to hear from you. I’d love to hear impostor syndrome shows up in your life and I love you to think about what would be available to me if I didn’t have that. What would letting go impostor syndrome make available to me? How would my life be different? I’d love you to start thinking about that, because that’s going to start opening up a whole new, incredible world for you. Okay, so go to my body free! Dotcom sign up for the 30 day free trial. Mister for the event and if you can’t make it live, that is okay. You can watch the replay within the community, but you have to join the community to access the replay. I can’t wait to see you there. It’s going to be incredible and together, let’s grow, evolve and realize our limitless potential.Learn more about our healing community for highly sensitive people here.

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23- Abundance

Episode 23 Create Abundance
Create Abundance Abby Taylor

Abundance

In episode 23: Create Abundance, I share my journey of releasing my abundance blocks and the incredible changes this created in my life. I also share how I did it, how you can get started, and a FREE event coming up on July 9th!

Join the Mind Body Free Community:
mindbodyfree.com

Connect with Abigail
Instagram @yourmindbodyfree
Facebook @yourmindbodyfree
Tiktok @yourmindbodyfree


 

Mind Body Free Podcast Love

Are you subscribed? If not, there’s a chance you could be missing out on some bonuses and extra show tools.  Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify to be sure you’re in the loop.  

Do you love the show? If so, I’d love it if you left me a review on iTunes. This helps others find the show and get integrative healing support. Simply click here and select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you so much ❤︎

Looking for more support?
Learn more about our healing community for highly sensitive people here.


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:01) Hello. Welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I help highly sensitive people heal in mind, body, and spirit so they can connect with their purpose and share the gifts that are so needed in this world. And I’m here to talk to you today about abundance, money, wealth, the energy of it, the flow of it, or the lack thereof. Money and abundance are concepts on the other side of scarcity. And it’s such a prevalent thing that I see in the world, and especially in communities, among artists, and healers. It can be this starving artist mindset or starving monk mindset. And I’ve been through that when I grew up. I’ve done a lot of work on this.

Abby (00:00:55) Growing up for me, I inherited all kinds of limiting beliefs around money. Like there’s never enough and just a lot of fear around, I don’t know what to do. We don’t have enough. It’s never going to be enough. Just a lot of feelings of insecurity around that. And so I grew up with that belief and I made just enough for myself. I may have just enough to get by, but never too much or more than enough. And sometimes I felt like not enough, even though they’re always actually enough. And eventually, I was doing some journeying and connecting with my purpose, my future self, and what I wanted to create in the world, the life that I wanted to have. So I had written out this life that I wanted for myself, and as I was looking at it, I realized I’m going to have to make more money to create this life.

Abby (00:01:55) And to make more money, I’m going to have to do some work on this. I’m going to have to do some inner work because the outer world is a reflection of the inner world. And so as I continued doing more training and building out my skills with hypnotherapy and other techniques and tools, something that I focused on to heal within myself was my blocks to abundance, because it got to a point where it was stressful, where I was feeling limited in doing the training that I wanted to do and traveling to places I wanted to go and upgrading my kitchen, living in a part of the city that I felt safe and comfortable in and inspired in.

Abby (00:02:40) I wanted to do all of that, but I felt restricted by money. So I did some work on it. I received some hypnotherapy sessions. I went through this immersive course where I listen to these recordings to clear away abundance blocks, and I listen to these sorts of recordings for about eight months. And I would go to bed and I put the recording on. I would close my eyes and I would just clear and clean and clear so much, so many blocks that I had and my body would shake. Sometimes tears streamed down my cheeks and I was just part of the release, just energetically letting it go from not only my subconscious mind but also from my body. And so when I did that, things started changing, my business started growing, I started having these amazing referrals coming in and it gave me the momentum to then do more work in my business, to then be more visible.

Abby (00:03:43) It just gave me a sense of confidence and esteem that I needed at that time to build my practice. And with that, more and more things started changing and leading to today where I’m teaching people to become healers. I have a coach training program, and I have a membership program where people can come and heal, which I’m excited to speak about later. But a lot has changed. We moved my husband and me and our dogs to a part of the city that is beautiful. That is right next to a huge forest, which is exactly what we wanted to be near nature. And now we can walk into those forests every day. It is right across the street. We live in a home that we love. It’s a beautiful home and I feel inspired every time I wake up in it.

Abby (00:04:32) And I love having friends and family fill it up. So life is very different now and I’m grateful that I did that work to clear away those abundance blocks because on the other side of those blocks is infinite possibility, where anything is possible, where I learned how to create, what I want to manifest, what I want in my life, and to let go of what I don’t want. So I do believe that as we let go of those limiting beliefs and energetic blocks from our mind and body and spirit and open up to receive the abundance around us and realize the abundance that flows within us and through us and from us, then we are able to not only be happier and live a life that feels more aligned with our values and joys. But I feel we’re also able to be of greater service.

Abby (00:05:33) And this one’s important to me because I’m a healer and I want to help a lot of beings in this world while I’m here. And I know that for me, the more that abundance that flows into my life, the more that I can then support and be in service. It enables me access to resources and coaches and education that then allows me to grow my practice and help others in an even bigger way and support even more people. So it’s a really beautiful thing. It’s a flow in and a flow out. Just like everything in life. With every inhale, there is an exhale with every gift that we also receive. And some people are good at giving, and some people are good at receiving, but it needs to go back and forth. It needs to be a flow. And that’s the balance that the harmony that we come into. And abundance is a part of that and money is a part of that, too.

Abby (00:06:31) Money and energy. It’s a form of energy, and it’s the kind of relationship that we have with it. So if you think about money as a person, what kind of relationship do you have with money? Is it something that you think about? Is it something that you worry about? Is it something that you think is the root of all evil or never around enough? I need to grab, hold onto it and just really try to grasp it. Do you think about money if a person wouldn’t want to hang out with you? You know, if you take it out to dinner, are you cool? Are you needy? Are you standoffish? Are you resentful? What’s that relationship like? If you want to have more of that relationship if you want them to be money, to be more present in your life. We want it to be a happy, beautiful relationship based on understanding and appreciation.

Abby (00:07:29) If your relationship with money is not like that, hey, no judgment I. It wasn’t for me for most of my life. If you have some baggage around it, then I encourage you to look at that, to explore what are the thoughts that come up when I think about money. And you can write them down. Writing down thoughts is a great way to bring them into conscious awareness as well as get them out of your head. Sometimes just becoming aware of it is enough for it to dissolve, but it’s also a great step for beginning to release that. Some thoughts that can, you know, fly around with money is there’s never enough. It’s not available to me. Everyone else can make it, but I can’t. I’m not good enough, not worthy of receiving it. Money is the root of all evil.

Abby (00:08:20) It’s ego. It’s vain. It’s not good to want or care about money or think about money. People who have money are mean and bad. Oh, well, that’s why you think. Why would you ever want to do that? Right. So it’s just some thoughts that can fly around as far as beliefs and limiting beliefs and mindsets around money can be. This is a great space to begin getting awareness, and then we want to question those thoughts. Well, is it true that people that make money or bad can think of some good people to be Melinda Gates, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation? They’re doing some cool stuff. You know, maybe you can think of some other different people. Warren Buffett, incredible philanthropist, and the richest man in the world began to challenge those beliefs.

Abby (00:09:10) Is it true that there’s never enough? I mean, it seems like there’s a lot of money in the world. Hmm. Interesting. Look at those beliefs. Question them, bring them onto paper, bring them into your conscious awareness so that you can then question them. Otherwise, they just hang out in the subconscious mind. And even though we’re not thinking about them or aware of them, they really kind of run the show as far as our behaviors and feelings go. So if we have beliefs like that in the background, in our subconscious mind, they will actually cause us in ways to behave, that can self-sabotage, that cannot take action on the things that we kind of really want. It can cause us to hold ourselves back. And if you ever wonder why, why is it I’m always broke or why is it there’s never enough? Or How did I end up in this situation?

Abby (00:10:05) Again, I’m going to tell you, my friend, it is those subconscious beliefs. And the good news is that you can 100% clear and release them and step into empowering, freeing, expansive, abundant beliefs. I did. Lots of people do. You can do it. And if you would like some support with that, we have an event coming up in the mind-body free community. So I’m going to switch gears for a moment and I’m going to come back to that. So I want to tell you about the mind body free community. So it is a membership community that we have just launched and I’m so excited to share this with you throughout July. You can sign up to receive a free trial for 30 whole days, 30 whole days. That means you’re going to get access to four live events. Normally we do one event a week, but because last weekend was a holiday weekend, we have two back-to-back with me and then Jeanette Lee, who is going to be teaching qigong.

Abby (00:11:11) The mind-body free community is a place for highly sensitive people to come together to heal and mind body, and spirit with each other and discover our limitless potential. It is a beautiful, heart-centered space. We have weekly, live and recorded classes in case you can’t make it live. And there are healing resources there. There’s video exercises and hypnotherapy and shamanic journeys, audio recordings you can listen to, to grow and heal. And there are beautiful people there. If you would like to join, you can go to Mind-Body Free. Dot com. You can learn more about it. You can sign up there. And each month we have a new theme and the classes are going to be based around that theme. So July. Guess what an abundance month is?

Abby (00:12:07) And we’re going to be doing some amazing work on clearing away the limiting beliefs that held you back, stepping into the energy of abundance, the energy of money, transforming that to be a beautiful, liberating relationship so that you can stop feeling held back by money so that you can let go of money. Stress takes up so much bandwidth to be worrying and thinking about and stressing about money. And it’s not necessary. And when you’re thinking stressful, worrisome thoughts, that’s what you’re putting out to the world. That’s what you’re manifesting more of. So when you learn how to let those go, you start putting different things out to them, out into the world, and different things start coming back to you. So our abundance class, the first class, is coming up on Saturday, July 9th, and it’s going to be at 9:30 a.m. Mountain Daylight Time, if you can make it live.

Abby (00:13:03) Amazing. It’s going to be very powerful if you can’t still come to join the community and you can watch the record and you can still get an incredible full immersive experience that way, too. And the next day, because it’s going to be a special double event weekend, Jeanette Lee will be teaching qigong. She teaches a very therapeutic healing form of qigong that’s healing for the body. It helps you regain your energy, your sense of well-being, your sense of strength and wellness. So she teaches every other Sunday at 10:30 a.m. Mountain Time. And again, those classes are recorded. If you come in, you come in live. She’s really great at kind of tailoring things to what people need, so she’ll check in energetically with each student, find out where they’re at, and then she’ll really bring what’s needed most to that class.

Abby (00:13:57) So amazing, amazing value, you guys. And then I’m going to be teaching the following week. It’s going to be an integration call. When we come back, we do some more clearing and sharing about what kind of things came up around abundance. And we do some really beautiful work that will help you connect in the community. I’m so, so excited about this. I’m excited about helping you guys create more abundance in your life and let go of financial stress and worries. And I’m excited for you to be able to join this beautiful, heart centered community of highly sensitive people, of intuitive people, you know. And as highly sensitive people, we are wired differently. 20% of the population in humans and a bunch of other different species are nervous.

Abby (00:14:48) The system is wired differently where we take in more information in our nervous system and we’re more sensitive, which is a blessing. It means we have a heightened sense of awareness and when we learn how to navigate it, it can be a really powerful, beautiful thing. If you are somebody who works with people as a healer or teacher or guide in some way, or if you are a leader or a visionary or a writer, you have this ability to tap into an energetic flow of profound wisdom. And a lot of the only downside is that because we’re sensitive, we also take on more stuff, all the energy and the frenetic energy and chaos in the world, and that can be overwhelming and other people’s emotions and can be a lot.

Abby (00:15:37) So it’s really important as highly sensitive people to learn how to navigate this and release that from our nervous systems so that we can hear that inner wisdom and allow it to come through. So this is a community, guys, for you. It’s a community for highly sensitive people for RSPs to come together and heal and discover our superpowers because the world needs a lot of sensitive people. The world needs more healers, more visionaries, more creatives, because there’s messages and wisdom that wants to come through you at this time in the world where so much is changing and people are looking for guidance and support, abundance is happening all through the month of July. It is going to be amazing and amazingly, you can sign up for free for 30 whole days, only for the month of July.

Abby (00:16:34) So if you want to be a part of it, go to MindBodyFree.com. You can learn more about how it all works. You can click on join and you can sign up for a whole. And I would love to see you in class. I would love to support you and grow with you and have your energy part of our community. So thank you so much for listening. If you have any questions, you can reach out. I’m on Instagram and Facebook at your mind-body free and I would love to see you there. Wishing you endless abundance and infinite possibilities. Thank you so much. Talk next time.

 

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21-Davina Palik

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Davina Palik

Davina Palik completed the Mentorship program last year and she shares with us her journey of healing, stepping into her medicine, and moving with her family from Quebec, Canada to Samara, Costa Rica, where she and her partner Daniel guide people through transformative breathwork sessions.

Connect with Davina:
Website davinapalik.com
Instagram: @davinakudish


 

Mind Body Free Podcast Love

Are you subscribed? If not, there’s a chance you could be missing out on some bonuses and extra show tools.  Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify to be sure you’re in the loop.  

Do you love the show? If so, I’d love it if you left me a review on iTunes. This helps others find the show and get integrative healing support. Simply click here and select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you so much ❤︎

Looking for more support?
Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about the Medicine Within Mentorship Program here.


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind-Body Free Podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss, and today I am here with a friend who I’ve gotten to know from two different worlds, both photography and now healing too. So I’m with Davina Palik today, and she is a Breathwork facilitator, a journaling coach, and a retired destination wedding photographer. She’s the proud author of exactly one child’s book holder of a Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism, a mindful mama writer, share and path feminist, humanist, humanist.

Abby (00:00:33) Ask the recovering, perfectionist, creative, and storyteller. She shares her journey, which has included everything from journaling to breathwork to plant medicines, to show others that they can heal. She values vulnerability and authenticity and is called to hold a safe space to create and isn’t constantly expanding her toolbox to do this. Davina lives in Costa Rica with her partner Daniel, her son Max, and her daughter, Charlie. Welcome, Divina. Thank you for being here. Thank you.

Davina (00:01:05) Very excited to be here.

Abby (00:01:07) Yes. And this is so cool because we used to know each other in the world of wanting photography, like for so long ago. It seems like now. Yeah. Like another lifetime. And now you are living in another part of the world. Now you are doing this beautiful, healing work with your partner, Daniel. Tell us a little bit about your journey. What brought you here from where you were before?

Davina (00:01:41) My goodness, what a question.

Abby (00:01:45) All little questions today. Yeah.

Davina (00:01:48) Oh, my. I don’t even know where to begin. So many things. I mean, I had I kind of grew up with this big wound that needed healing. I think it was I was the I was sexually abused as a young girl. And I think I just. It’s my whole life. Part of my mission was to heal from that, and I think I just didn’t know it or didn’t consciously realize that. But so much of what? Presented itself in my life or was a result of these wounds. And yeah, I. I did a lot of healing without even consciously realizing it, but. Eventually through. Other things, I guess in life I realized I got into healing more intentionally, I guess.

Davina (00:02:43) As things came up and I was seeking something. Something more, something deeper. And I had struggled with depression for a long time. And I was looking for. More than just being on medication and that kind of found spirituality and ayahuasca through that and then eventually breathwork and that journaling was a big tool for me. So I used a lot of that and just kind of picked up all these tools along the way and eventually moved to Costa Rica, which was unexpected, but kind of I felt very called to this place and ended up here.

Davina (00:03:24) So the journey continues. We’re in a place now where people say that the town where we live called Samarra is a place where people come to heal. And again, I didn’t move here knowing that, but I see it in the people that I meet, people who are on similar journeys, the types of offerings that other people have intuitive folks who are meeting here who are helping me heal as well. And so yeah, that’s the overview, I guess. Yeah.

Abby (00:03:59) Yeah. Oh, man. And, and it’s wild because we were chatting a bit before and I was mentioning how last time we met like this online, just the two of us, it was like just before the mentorship started.

Davina (00:04:16) And it must have been about a year ago.

Abby (00:04:17) You’re still.

Davina (00:04:18) Doing.

Abby (00:04:19) About a year ago. Yeah. Yeah. And now you’re. You move from Montreal to Samarra. I didn’t know that. It’s a place people come to heal. That’s beautiful. It’s like, almost. Go ahead.

Davina (00:04:33) No, it’s something one of my friends who’s been here for ten years told me. She says there’s kind of like this energy here and that people come to feel.

Abby (00:04:46) Do you think that there’s like a calling for that right now in the world?

Davina (00:04:51) Yeah. I think I’m proof of that. I think. I didn’t think through the mentorship with you. One of the big lessons I received was that from my higher self essentially was that I had medicine to offer. And I remember having so much resistance to that being like, What do you mean? I don’t have any medicine to offer. I’m not special in any way. And then I got comfortable sharing more and more, and I use Instagram to share my experiences have been. And I’ve shared my healing journey from the sexual trauma on my website. And the more I share, the more people reach out to me with their own stories or just looking for someone to connect with.

Davina (00:05:44) And it’s almost every day that I have a message in my inbox from somebody who’s like, just relates to something that I’ve shared who just wants to connect or wants to share their own thing or wants to run something by me sometimes, you know, just it’s incredible. And I think I see it from these people who reach out to being and how much healing is a collective thing that we are searching for healing. And there are so many beautiful ways to do that. It doesn’t have to be just one road. And hopefully, I can show people that there are different tools and you don’t have to go to the Amazon and drink Ayahuasca either. So that is a marvelous tool. So yeah, it’s I see that there is indeed a need and I’m encouraged by how much people are seeking their healing and taking it into their own hands. And I think it’s something that we need.

Abby (00:06:43) Yeah. Did you feel? Like. As you mentioned, you’ve been sharing a lot of your journey and your healing path. And I remember, you know, not that long ago and still, sometimes it’s almost like there can be this feeling of taboo around not being like fully feeling fully perfect all the time. And I don’t know a single person that does this like shame around the concept of mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Did you find that it took courage for you to share, or is that something you were always comfortable with?

Davina (00:07:24) It’s a good question and I’m grateful for the opportunity to reflect on it now. I kind I think in a way I’ve always been comfortable sharing. Especially when it came to what happened to me as a child. It was some of the other things, maybe. Ways that I still struggle with things or that stuff that I. Feel is harder or has been harder to share. I put in my bio that I’m a recovering perfectionist and it’s something I struggle with a lot is like, what if I’m not seen as perfect? And I feel like the sexual trauma was always like, apart from me, in a way, separate from me. Like it was something that had happened to me, but that I didn’t feel like.

Davina (00:08:17) You know, I, I felt comfortable sharing it for that reason, I guess, whereas like the workings of my, into my inner mind and the ways maybe that it affected me, I would have been a little bit more hesitant to share because of how they might reflect on me, you know? Yeah. And even today, I have moments where I’m like Am I being in mine? Am I trying to protect some part of myself by not sharing this? And is it worth exploring that? And is it worth opening up to the world about this? Because someone could relate. And I feel like that is my medicine is being like, here I am and you’re welcome in this space, too. And if you relate to this, you’re not alone. Yeah.

Abby (00:09:04) That’s beautiful. And it’s. I’m sorry. Go ahead.

Davina (00:09:07) No, I was just thinking about how you had said one time, like, all of me is welcome here. That was or all of you are welcome here. I feel like this came up in our mentorship. And it’s something I journaled about the other day and it came out, like, quite beautiful. I think I’m getting ready to share that one soon about how I’ll. Yeah, all of me is welcome here. I can face all these parts of me, the ugly parts, the spiritual parts, the parts that I think I’m supposed to be over by now. Surely I know better than this. And guilt. Shame, you know.

Davina (00:09:42) Greediness, like the stuff that’s the stuff that’s harder for me to share because it’s, you know, it’s the. The shadow parts, you know, but are harder to admit to. But the more we do that and in safe spaces and for me even publicly owning that I think there’s a lot of power in that. And they kind of that’s how you shed light on it and also how you connect to others who can relate.

Abby (00:10:13) Yeah, I think so too. I think that’s it’s wise and it’s really brave to do that. And it’s, you know when I think about social media and how it’s like this so often this highlight reel of the best version of ourselves and all of these apps to transform the way we look. And it’s like it feels like the antidote to that. Like just how real can I be in something I like that you mentioned could it help someone relate I like that as a question as like could this help someone relate and what they’re going through to feel less alone or with where they’re at? And was it Brené Brown that said, we all have shame and the less we talk about it, the more we have? And it’s just taking the shadow and bringing it. Yeah, we can bring the shadow into the light then. It may not be as scary as we once thought it was. It just takes some brave people to be the first to do that. And then someone else can say, Hey. Oh, yeah, me too. Oh, I thought that was just me. It wasn’t just.

Davina (00:11:17) Me.

Abby (00:11:19) Yeah. So you mentioned plant medicines. I’m sorry. Go ahead.

Davina (00:11:25) No, sorry.

Abby (00:11:25) We have a bit of a delay.

Davina (00:11:26) It’s probably my Costa Rica Internet.

Abby (00:11:29) Oh, do we? That’s okay. That’s a good trade-off for being an amazing place. You had mentioned plant medicines being part of your healing journey and also how there are other ways to kind of access these healing states. Can you tell me a bit about what plant medicines were like for you and what you found afterward to continue healing?

Davina (00:11:57) Yeah. So for me, it was I who went in with so much fear. So much fear and the experience shed light on how much fear I have had and have around a lot of different things, trying new things, losing control. The list goes on and on. So that was one of the big, big lessons that I got from ayahuasca. I also got to see how far I had come on my healing journey with regards to the sexual abuse in that I got to heal. I had an experience where I witnessed the house where all of this had taken place. I was kind of floating above it and I got to with my love. And at first, it was very scary and it was like tightening around me. The energy felt very scary. And then. I realized that I had the power to release it and to give it love and to. It was in my control, essentially. And so I started giving love to the space and a garden, and I started visualizing this garden, growing over it.

Davina (00:13:13) And it was just beautiful, wild vines. And I just got to watch my masterpiece, what my love and my forgiveness and my intention of setting the space free, what I had been able to do. And that was just like one of the first things I experienced on the first night. One of the other nights, I got to see myself as a young child sitting on the couch with my grandfather while he was abusing me. The scene that I replayed in my head so many times is something that happened many times in my childhood, and I was witness to that. And instead of feeling sorry for my child self, I kind of was like, I know she’s going to be okay. And like, she’s, she’s good. Like, she’s got this. And then I saw him and felt compassion for him.

Davina (00:14:09) And to me that was huge. It just showed me how far I had come through all these other things I’ve done in my life to bring healing. To this event. And. That specific moment showed me that I had. Reached something very difficult to reach, which is to have compassion for the person who hurt you most. So that was a powerful experience. And. A lot of other stuff. I could probably go on for like four or 5 hours about all the things that happened during that week. But when I did that with medicine, when I came back, it was very difficult. Like I will say, I was not prepared for how hard it was. I went through like really tough depression, one of the hardest I’ve ever experienced. And I felt like I was still broken and something was wrong with me.

Davina (00:15:09) And Daniel was like, we had gone together and he was just I’ve never seen him so, like, elated and high on life and attracting all this beautiful energy and connection with people. He was just it was obnoxious to me about how great he seemed compared to how I felt that I was doing. And I was like, Would you please stop smiling all the time, you know? But no, thankfully, he knows how to hold space and was very supportive. But yeah, I just struggled a lot and it was short it was around that time that we came here to Costa Rica and ended up spending three and a half months only to realize that this is where we wanted to call home. And I think since that period, I haven’t this was a year ago now, is that right? Yea, yea, yea. I haven’t experienced the darkness of depression in the way that since then really that that deep darkness. I have a different relationship with it and I think that. The magic that I witnessed with ayahuasca and afterward through different things like breathwork and other things that we’re able to get me to that state, I feel like I can’t.

Davina (00:16:30) Go back to such deep darkness when I’ve seen so much light. Because I know that I’m not made of darkness. And I think that was my fear before. That’s something I kind of believed ever since I was a child. But there was so much darkness in me and to have connected with the light allowed me to balance that out. We can have darkness, we can have a shadow, we can experience it. But it’s not what we are made of. And I feel like now that I know that through my lived experiences, something that nobody could ever take away from me, as much as someone might want to debate me on it, you know, it’s like I just I know what’s true for me. And one of the things we did a lot during the mentorship with you was to connect to that our higher self and go deep within to find what truth is and what truth feels like. And now that I have that tool, I feel like it’s a lot easier to use that voice to guide me versus, you know, all the other archetypes and ego and all these other things that try to get in the way.

Abby (00:17:36) Hmm. That’s so beautiful. There are so many things I want to speak to about what you just said. So with. And with the light in the dark. It’s it’s interesting. So I feel like I mean I was taught in Chinese medicine is the yin yang symbol where there’s the light side and the dark side and there’s the thought of light in the dark. And I thought of dark and the light. And they said, there’s always light with dark and always dark with light. And I think so much of it is just forgetting the light and remembering the light inside of us that we’re made of. I love that you said something that now that you’ve experienced can’t be taken from you. It’s such an interesting thing that to me that sounds like it’s integration. It’s like not a concept in your mind, but it’s something that you experience and knows for yourself.

Davina (00:18:27) No. And I think that very I think that right away after the experience, the ego does try to get in the way and the mind tries to get in the way. Like maybe it was all bullshit. Maybe, you know, yeah, you made that up or it’s just like a dream or like, you know, and then you try to explain it to people and they don’t necessarily understand. So you do try to like it. Find reasons why. Maybe it wasn’t what you thought it was at the moment. And that’s why I think that other practices can be really helpful, like getting back to a place of bliss during breathwork that I’ve experienced with ayahuasca was like, Oh, remember this state, it is true, it exists. And dreams. Dreams are so powerful too. And I’ve spoken to me so much since my ayahuasca experience and all of these things come into to remind me at least, that that it was was real.

Abby (00:19:29) Yeah. I remember that, though, for sure. And it’s and also being in a society where a lot of people are not in that place yet or haven’t known don’t necessarily believe in that world beyond the obvious physical things in front of us. And you mentioned coming back to those states of bliss with Breathwork. So what has that been like for you?

Davina (00:19:57) It’s so cool that Breathwork is such a big part of my life now because I didn’t choose it. And that’s like something I was to it’s ironic. I was seeking to surrender more, which sounds like a bit of an oxymoron. I wanted to be able to surrender more in my life and to let things in. And I didn’t know what that even looked like. What do you mean? Like you don’t make choices and then push towards achieving your goals. It just went against everything I have kind of done up until now in my life. And this just Breathwork was such a powerful practice for me and I have had such great experiences with it. And then I saw just one day I was like, I don’t know, maybe I would like to be facilitated in this. Maybe something I would like to be reading.

Davina (00:20:44) It seems like it could suit me well and something nobody is doing out here in Samara. So I went online to see different things and there was this one class, it was self-paced, which is really what I was looking for because I wanted to take my time. I was feeling very introverted at that moment and I wanted to have something I could work on on my own, kind of like a retreat and work on this thing. And a lot of these other classes were in-person training and stuff, so I thought that would lend itself well to me, and it just seemed like it came into my awareness for a reason. So I signed up. It was a six-month program.

Davina (00:21:23) I finished it in like maybe three months. I was so into it. And then Daniel around the same time did his training, but he did something different. He did a specific method of breathwork, whereas I did a more general training. And then we started to like it was funny because even though we started at different times and worked on them at different times, we both of us got our official certification letter on the same day, which was a total coincidence and interesting.

Abby (00:21:52) Yeah.

Davina (00:21:53) And then we started doing these ceremonies together. We’re doing the method that he was trained in, which is called Elemental Rhythm, and I kind of support him. I lead the opening meditations, I do the connecting to the light that you taught us in our mentorship. So get everybody nice and relaxed. And then moving into this, this practice, it’s very active breathwork so you’re doing these heavy, deep breathing, different patterns of it, and we guide along with music and then some breath holds. And then the whole experience, the whole breathing experience lasts only about 30 minutes, but the whole experience is about 2 hours because there’s so there’s a long meditation at the end and some integration time and then we share.

Davina (00:22:46) And it’s just incredible to see the experiences that people can have. It’s just and here in Samara, you know, people are here to heal. We see it a lot through the people who pop into our class. And we have regulars already, even though we’ve only been doing this like several times now, people who come every week and who have a different experience every week, and there’s a lot of people who come out here to experience plant medicine as well. So they might do, Oh, some people facilitate blood flow out here. And so they go to this complete ego, death and reaching, you know, like a near-death experience. And then they come to Breathwork a couple of days later and they’re able to go back to that place just through Breathwork, which is incredible. And I’ve seen people have memories of childhood memories come up, relationships that are being called to be healed, that are coming up, and the memories that they’re being shown related to somebody in their life with who they then feel called to reconnect with or. You name it.

Davina (00:23:49) I feel like we’ve already seen it and we’ve only just begun. So it’s such a beautiful, powerful practice for accessing all kinds of things. And recently my parents came to visit and then my sister and her partner came to visit. And so my dad, who I would have never imagined would be interested, came to one of our classes. And so, yeah, it was incredible to have him like come and do the breathing. And I saw him working hard and it was the first class that I assisted Daniel with, which was cool. And then afterward, like even my mom was like, Wow, he’s so white, he feels like a different person. And I was like, Yeah, transformation comes in all sorts of different ways. He might not have had much to report on in terms of the experience, but something happened because I could feel it. We could all feel it just being around him and yeah, it’s cool to be able to share that now with people in my life as well.

Abby (00:24:46) That’s so beautiful. What a beautiful blend with the breathwork that Daniel is leading them through. And then this extra layer of intention and connection sounds like integration afterward as well that you help guide them through. It’s incredible and so beautiful to be able to offer that to people in your life, especially people who you wouldn’t expect. I find it, you know, it can be so surprising who shows up and is ready to do the work once you start offering it to people?

Davina (00:25:12) Yeah.

Abby (00:25:14) Ha. Yeah, I remember doing I did a hollow Tropic Breathwork class like I attended one a few years ago, and I just did the breathing, the circular breathing process and then all my hands, like, tightened up. And I felt all of this tension in my body and all this tingling. And then I just a lovely facilitator came over and she did this like Reiki tuning sound and like, put her hand on my neck and all this, like, deep, deep wail of a cry just came out for a couple of minutes and I was like, too in it to care to be embarrassed about everybody else in the room hearing it. But afterward, I just felt so much lighter and the whole rest of that week I felt like a different person. And my husband Dave was saying, you, you were better. When you go to that, you should go more. I don’t think they’re offering it here anymore, unfortunately, but it was amazing. It was so transformative. And it was something that was just about breathing and being in my body and moving all the stuff that was held in my body.

Davina (00:26:15) is Pretty incredible. It is like there’s when I’m guiding, I’m often telling people like, see how if you’re facing resistance, see what’s on the other side of that, because it is a safe practice for doing that. And you’re like, Oh, it’s just breathing. But then you do face like so many, your ego’s trying to protect you, right? It’s like, don’t go there. You shouldn’t open that door, you should stop breathing or you should go back to your regular breathing. And all of this comes up. And even to me, what you’re describing, the like the hands and all that being super tight, we see that all the time, these little like lobster claws just because the PH levels change in your body. So it causes that. And I find it like oddly cute when people are like their little tiny hands.

Abby (00:27:03) Lobsters, little.

Davina (00:27:05) Insect arms and yeah, it can be very scary for people, too, which is why it’s helpful to have we always brief people on the kinds of things they can expect. Yeah, it’s incredible. What you can do with just your body and the emotional release that you’re just describing is so common for me. I don’t think I’ve ever done breathwork and not like cried a ton or released some kind of in some kind of emotional way. I’ve also experienced that with ice baths, which is probably one of my least favorite things to do, but also one of the most powerful things that I can do. It’s literally like 5 minutes to release so much. And I also was able to bring my sister and her partner sub to the ice baths that we do here with the community.

Davina (00:27:54) A lot of people come to Breathwork, go to the ice baths as well, and a lot of different great offerings around here. And the ice bath. The first time I did it here, it was. I went in and I was like my whole body. I got the technique from being in that ice bath. My whole body was frozen, you know, couldn’t move at all. And I was just focused on my breathing. It’s like I went into a trance or something. And then when my body finally relaxed, I just burst out in tears. But like a child, like this deep, deep sob. And one thing that’s helpful for me with this stuff and something that I will guide people in Breathwork as well, is that we don’t always need to have a story around these emotions. Sometimes they’re just stored in there. They might not even be ours.

Davina (00:28:39) They just what we have to do, what our job is essentially is to be present with them and let them pass, you know, and breathwork ice baths. All of these types of things are great practices for just releasing that stored energy, those emotions that just show up. They just want to be felt. And yeah, there doesn’t have to be a story around it. Like, Oh, why am I sad? Or Why am I so angry? The last ice bath  I did. I was so mad. I had so much anger. I went in and I was like, I’m mad. I have to do this. I don’t want to be here. And the facilitator who helps us through the ice baths, she’s like, Let it out, let it out. Just be you. And I was just like, wow, like screaming in the ice baths and felt amazing. And then when I got out, I was like a new person. Yeah, that’s amazing.

Abby (00:29:24) Very powerful. It is. It is amazing. It’s like in the work that I’ve done over the years, I felt I feel like. Maybe the number one, one of the key things that contribute to this depression and fatigue and illness, it’s just all of the emotions that didn’t get to be felt that are still held in the body. And if we can find more ways of getting those out, and especially without even needing to attach to the story like that, can just we can look at it and analyze it in a package, but sometimes we just got to heal and we got to get it out. We need to do it as fast as possible so that we can start feeling a lot lighter and a lot freer. And it’s something that I don’t think we talk about a lot in our society.

Abby (00:30:08) And so it can even seem surprising to me, too, or a friend of mine gave me a massage one time and I had like this chronic jaw, like this TMJ tension, and she massages all the stuff out of my jaw and I felt great. And I went to bed that night and I woke up in the middle of the night just furious, like, for no reason, but just so angry. And she worked all this tension out of my jaw, like, down to my heart, where I could feel and process it. There’s no story behind it. It was just like, Oh, this is all the stuff that was sitting in my body. And it’s I think if there are as many avenues as we can find to release that effectively, then that’s so powerful and it’s so healing and it’s so preventative for other possible issues down the road.

Davina (00:30:53) Yeah. All of that gets stuck in the body if it’s not expressed. My friend here is a massage therapist, a yoga teacher, and a lightworker. She’s extremely connected and I’ve had the privilege of being at her table a couple of times. She does like a34 hour massage. It’s incredible. And she works through it. Yeah, she’ll be like, Here’s your grandmother’s anger. You know, she’ll find so much stuff in the body. And it’s like, really, she really reads the body and finds things that are stuck in there, and she’ll work as long as she needs to on certain parts. Yeah, I’ve had this chronic shoulder issue for years now and I’m constantly trying to work with it to be like, What’s in here? What’s stuck in here? I’m still working on it. I still don’t know all the answers. I keep having these like ideas of what it is, and sometimes I’m like, Maybe I don’t need to think about it. I just need to feel through it. And sometimes I’m like, No, I need to break this down. And so it teaches me a lot, this injury, and yeah, always unpacking new layers of it until hopefully it will get healed eventually for good.

Abby (00:32:06) Yeah. I have faith that I will. For you, it’s just part of the journey, right? Continuing to unpack and learn. I find that true. Like I’m learning more and more every day and feeling more and more called to integrate lessons physically into the body.

Davina (00:32:21) Yeah. I believe that if it’s still there, it’s because it still has more to teach me. So I just need to keep. Keep listening and keep paying attention. Keep being with it.

Abby (00:32:31) Exactly. Yeah, it’s a great perspective. I kind of see it similar. I see it as a feedback system of like, okay, my body’s giving me a message or it needs my attention in some way. And whether that be feeling emotion or integrating something with breath or movement or awareness or life path, as you guys went to this whole other part of the world to kind of sounds like answer this sort of calling. I feel like that’s a big part of it too, is just permitting yourself to do what you feel like you’re meant to be doing and where you’re meant to be doing it.

Davina (00:33:04) Yeah. There are so many excuses we can come up with to come up with, to do, or to not do the things that sometimes we’re called to do. This is a huge leap of faith in so many ways. I’ve had so much emotion come up around this move. And, you know, I was attending the mentorship during the move, right when we’re preparing to leave. And when we arrived here, the mentorship kind of fell right in the middle of all of that, which was wonderful for me. It meant I had a lot of support from all the women in the group. But yeah, so much came up, you know, it was, What am I doing? Why I’m imploding my life, you know, why would I step into the unknown like this?

Davina (00:33:43) I still have moments of really, really being homesick, of missing the house that we lived in and grieving the fact that, like, our life will never be in that house again. And all those memories of the kids being Little Charlie are my almost six-year-old. She was brought home to that house and. Yeah. It’s just really there’s a lot of sadness around the passage of time because it’s such a house is such an anchor for those five years of our life, which happened to be the first five years of Charlie’s life, too. And I still grieve a little bit for that house. And there are so many layers around that because I have I recognize the privilege that I had to be able to sell the house. When we did, nobody kicked us out. We weren’t forced out of the house for financial reasons. If anything, we got to sell at the height of the market, probably.

Davina (00:34:37) I never thought we’d be able to sell the house for what we were able to sell it for, but it was a result of that time. And, you know, all of these things kind of ushered us out of there being like, Oh, do you want me to make it easier for you? Like, here’s a good financial amount for your house and you want me to make it easier for you? It’ll sell in four days. And, you know, here’s a beautiful town that you love. Oh, and the town also has a French school, which was important for you. Like, you know, all of these little things that just lined up and community, my goodness, like I just said, the word community. And I got chills up in my arms because I didn’t know that I was moving here for the community. But like, that is what we got here. Like, it makes me emotional because it’s so special and it’s something I’ve never experienced before. Like, I didn’t know I was missing it until we came here.

Davina (00:35:25) It’s we’ve been here almost seven months now, and I have probably 12 people who I could call if I needed them right now who would show up here for me, you know, like emotionally or physically or picking up our kids because we can’t make it or lending us their car because our car broke down, like or, you know, if I just really needed someone to talk to, it’s just. I feel like we have these beautiful relationships with people here, but I’m so grateful for people from all over the world and people who are born and raised here in Costa Rica I’ve had the pleasure of making all kinds of different friendships. Yeah. It’s something so, so special. And when my family was here visiting, I felt really lucky that they got to witness that.

Davina (00:36:10) And even though it’s something like my parents couldn’t see themselves doing, moving to Costa Rica, they kind of thing we’re crazy to have done this. I think part of them were nuts, but they also told us, like, we get it, I can see you and we see the kids and how you’re thriving here and these beautiful people and your life. And we get it. And that was I didn’t need that, but it was nice to be able to share that with them and to have them see it.

Abby (00:36:35) Yeah. Wow, it is so beautiful. And something, where that came to mind earlier when you were talking about kind of holding that space of what you touched, was real like with adult will come up of like, oh did you make that all up? That was all in your mind. But if you can find community and people who will be in that space with you and share that with you, I find it can be so affirming and nurturing to help grow that part of you and such a beautiful heart connection.

Davina (00:37:09) Yeah. And I feel like I was sharing this with Daniel the other day. I feel like a lot of the people who we’ve met here, they see me and like, I don’t know how to express this. I feel like I like how they see me. I like the reflection of me that I see through them. Hmm. Like there’s a friend I made here. Who? I sat with her. We had this, like, four-hour coffee, and she facilitates Rufo, and she just talked about me, like, the way she sees me. And I was just, like, in awe that I got to receive that from her with such a beautiful gift, you know? She’s like, I see how real you are and how pure your heart is.

Davina (00:37:58) And she shared a lot of things with me that were very difficult for her to share in the past, but she’s like, I feel very open with you and I want to share this with you. And it’s like, I got to see again, like the medicine that I have to give. I got to see it reflected through how she was able to receive it if that makes sense. And I think I’ve been somebody who for a long time I had this idea that I. It was very ordinary and had nothing special to offer. And I was broken and needed so much healing and so much caretaking and all of this. And then being like, No, actually a lot of what I’ve lived is part of what makes me have this medicine.

Davina (00:38:42) And if it’s nothing else but to hold space for people so they can share something that they’ve never shared with anyone before, that is extremely valuable. I don’t have to be some kind of like guru or medicine woman, you know, and it doesn’t have to look a certain way. And I’m finding ways that I just existing and doing continuing to do the work that I’m doing for myself and coming from a very humble place where my ego has a healthy reality check regularly, you know, is allowing me to to get out of my way and to just be of service in the way that I think that I’m probably meant to, you know.

Abby (00:39:26) Yeah. Yeah. That’s such a beautiful journey to go on and kind of realize that you do have these things to share. And I feel like we can get caught in our heads of having to look a certain way or be a certain format. But like when you were talking about just being so open and connecting with people and talking about the struggles you’ve been through and helping them to relate and share their story back to you. That in itself is medicine and there are so many other kinds. It’s just so many ways that you share gifts with the world. It’s beautiful to see.

Davina (00:40:00) Yeah. I think of all the ways that I tried to prevent myself from doing that to, you know, it’s like it kind of makes me laugh because I hosted this journaling group recently. It was a six-week kind of program that came to me very intuitively. I just sat down. I was, like, battling in my mind with it for a long time. It was this idea I had for so long. I feel like I talked about it even during the mentorship, like this idea of like wanting to because journaling has been so powerful for me and I kept getting these like downloads of like, here’s a good topic that you could explore. And I was like, No, no, but I’m not the person to do that. That’s not for me. That’s not for me.

Davina (00:40:36) And then eventually I was like, What if it was for me? What would that look like? And then I just allowed myself to go there. I wrote it all down, I fleshed it out. I, you know, and at the end of it, I was like, this is good. I think I think this could be helpful for people. A lot of the journaling prompts and the themes are helpful to explore and were things that I had done myself and have found helpful. And then I just put it out there to see if anyone was interested. And in 24 hours I had to like close my page down because I had so many people like I wanted to do it.

Davina (00:41:09) And then I did it. But it took me a while to like to announce the dates because there was more fear there. There was more, you know, maybe not. You and my inner saboteur were so loud. You had so many reasons why I shouldn’t do it and I wasn’t the right person to do it, etc., etc. Why? I needed more time, I needed more training, and I needed to read more books. You know, so many reasons. And then I was like, You know what? I can hold space. I know how to hold space. And these prompts are good and they’ve helped me. And these people are here and they, they applied and they want to do this with me, so let’s just do it. And I led the group by explaining how much resistance I had met.

Davina (00:41:51) And so I started it by being very honest. I was like, Here are all the things my inner saboteur had to say before I had to shut that voice down and decide to do it anyway. And it was beautiful. It was so beautiful. I had women from all over the world and it was incredible meeting with them every week and seeing, you know, so much coming out of them and how much they showed up to give it they’re all. It was like, here are masks coming down. Here’s what I’m struggling with. Like, you won’t see this on social media, but this is what’s going on behind the scenes. It was just beautiful. I had chills every week on that, on those calls. I cried every week. It was I wasn’t a perfect leader. I didn’t always know the right thing to say. I often cried at people’s stories. I’m sure if I was like doing life coaching, I would have broken all the rules. But.

Davina (00:42:46) But I was me. And I think that was. I did the best I could. And, and it was a beautiful conversation and everyone got a lot out of it. I had beautiful feedback and then I started hosting them here in Samara as well with a small group of women, same thing, this sisterhood, and supportive circle and allowing the journaling to guide the conversations. And it was incredible. And I was like, I could have just listened to that voice and not done this and why, you know, why would I have done that? So I try to keep that in mind. Now, when things come through, something that I’m inspired to do, it’s where is this coming from? Like, where is this creative idea coming from? And oftentimes it’s a battle too. To make sure that the ego and the saboteur voices are contributing something helpful, you know, because sometimes maybe they do have something helpful to say. Maybe it’s true that I don’t know a lot about that topic.

Davina (00:43:50) Maybe that’s one I should stay away from this time. Or maybe that’s something I’d want to learn more about before I venture down that road. That’s helpful feedback. But being like, Don’t do this. Keep yourself safe. Nobody wants to learn from you or whatever. Those are not helpful voices. So I can better detect now where they’re coming from. And I think humility is a big part of it, too. Like mine. My ego needs to be really, really in check. I’m not doing anything that I do if I think I’m doing it for some kind of, like, fame or fortune. Not that there’s fame or fortune in any of the stuff I’ve been doing, but that’s something I need to pay attention to. Awareness? I think what it is for me.

Abby (00:44:35) Yeah. Yeah, it’s I think that when you mentioned earlier how you opened up this journaling class by saying these are all the things that I came up against, this is all the resistance I had to even do this. It’s like it opens up the floor to say, you can be this real here. It’s okay. We don’t have to pretend. And it just takes one person having that level of courage. And that’s such a beautiful space to hold for people, for them to feel, Oh, it’s okay, we’re all equals and it’s safe to show these parts of me here. And just by the way, I also cry when people share their stories. I don’t know if there’s an official you’re not supposed to cry rule, but I don’t follow that if they’re either. You’re just being real and being a person and connecting from the heart, you know? It’s beautiful.

Davina (00:45:26) I could never be any other way, honestly. I just couldn’t. I’ve always been extremely sensitive and Charlie is a little copy of me when it comes to that. She is super sensitive. We watch a Disney movie and we’ll like sob together, you know, just very empathetic.

Abby (00:45:42) It’s a superpower because it helps you hold space and feel what other people are feeling. And I remember, I think I couldn’t be any other way either or I could try, but I mean, miserable trying. I remember listening to Oprah talk at one point about how she was, like, starting as this news anchor, but she was using all these personal stories and reactions and it was seen as not professional. And it wasn’t like she wasn’t doing it right or doing it well. And then she had this thought like, Well, wait a minute, maybe that is what makes me great. I just pivot it and find a place where she was allowed to be here and made a whole bunch of magic. I feel like it’s just that’s not wrong. It’s just where can I connect in a way that this is a gift?

Davina (00:46:26) Yeah. That’s such a beautiful way of looking at it. Where can I connect? In a place where this is a gift? Yeah. I don’t know if that are the exact words. I tried to repeat it exactly, but. Yeah, it’s really. That’s so beautiful. And that is totally what made Oprah so good. You know, that’s what we love about her. That’s how she was so real. And yeah, I wouldn’t want to be any other way. I mean, it’s that’s how I connect to people too, is I think that’s how they feel like they can share with me because I can hold that space and that I can. I can feel their emotions at least. Yeah.

Abby (00:47:04) Yeah. Help them feel seen. That’s a really powerful thing to be seen in that way and that heart space. So. So are you offering these journaling sessions now? Are you and Daniel doing Breathwork together now? So what’s next for you guys?

Davina (00:47:24) So we are continuing the Breathwork classes or the sessions here. We’re about to leave. We’re leaving for three weeks. At the end of the week, we’re going to the US. We’re doing a little road trip with the kids. They’re off school for a bit, so we figured we’d have a little adventure, which we’re very excited about. And then when we come back, we’ll resume our breathwork sessions. I’m putting it together I’m between journaling classes right now. I just wrapped up my first one, the one online and the one in person. And so I’m kind of figuring out how I want to structure the next ones, but I’m also working on something a little different. I guess it’s another one that I’ve been having a lot of voices getting involved in the process.

Davina (00:48:18) It’s called a return to wholeness, and it’s continuing on the path of healing, on the theme of healing, which is what I think I can I can never get away from, just forever. What I will be doing, I think. But the idea of this return to wholeness is to kind of. Forming a deeper connection to ourselves through different practices. I’ll have recorded Breathwork meditations and sessions. We’ll do like journaling prompts. We’ll do worksheets and different topics to explore and meet. I think I’ll probably do it. That’ll be optional to do it in a self-paced, self-led kind of situation. And also I’ll want to do one with live calls because I enjoy those a lot. And the power of connecting to other people in this container, as I’ve seen firsthand how powerful that is. And so I’ll have that component available.

Davina (00:49:22) And yeah, I’m still kind of like fleshing it out and exploring what that means, trying to spend time with like the most aligned in alignment version of myself so that the ideas are coming from, from that part of me. Yeah. That’s one thing I got to, got to practice through the mentorship was connecting to that part of me and listening to what that part has to say. I think like you kind of touched on this before, but the things I’m trying to create now, I want them to come from like a humble place and from that place of alignment. And it’s more asking myself, like, how is this going to serve others? Versus like me needing to control things to be a certain way or me needing to come off a certain way.

Davina (00:50:15) And that’s I think that’s. I needed to go through a lot of this other stuff to get to that place where I can even be aware of the difference between those voices. Yeah. They’re still there. The voices are still there. But I have a better relationship with them maybe. And I can identify them better. Hmm.

Abby (00:50:39) Beautiful. Yeah. And they, like, they don’t get to run the show anymore, it sounds like.

Davina (00:50:45) Exactly. Yeah.

Abby (00:50:48) So if for the people out there. Who is working through their fear, because you had mentioned that was a big part of the beginning of your healing journey with ayahuasca was moving through this fear this kind of fear of the unknown, this desire to control that, and then stepping into compassion and know so much you’ve been through. So there are people who are on their path and they’re confronting these kinds of things. What would you want them to know?

Davina (00:51:23) I’m. There’s a difference between fear and danger. So, you know, we can look like we think we’re in danger. But remembering that just because it feels scary doesn’t mean it’s something you’re incapable of. It’s a very simple lesson, but ayahuasca repeated to me over and over again, You can do hard things, which is I think there’s a children’s book named that like very basic. But yeah, you can do hard things and sometimes do breathwork I’ll say that to people, just remembering that the boundaries of our comfort zone can be stretched and it can be scary. But it also doesn’t have to be like that. Karate chopping them down. You can stretch them gently and it can be a process. And, you know, there’s a place for conquering fear in a way that’s still it will. It’s scary. Conquering fear is scary, but it can still be done at your own pace. And there’s still a way to do that while respecting what you’re ready for.

Davina (00:52:33) And also that there are a lot of practices to get you comfortable, you know, with fear, which sounds ironic, comfortable with fear, but or to practice that, you know, conquering fear is a practice. And if you’re able to find ways to face fear and to go beyond fear regularly in a way that’s safe and controlled, like ice baths, like Breathwork, those are two very powerful practices we’ve talked about that I personally just really connect to. Then other stuff doesn’t feel as scary anymore. You train yourself to know that you are capable of facing fear and that you’re stronger than you think. Hmm.

Abby (00:53:18) That’s beautiful. Where can people find you, Davina, if they want to learn more about the work you do?

Davina (00:53:25) Yeah. So my website is davinapalik.com constantly a work in progress, but I try to post there and the things that I’m doing and I post some of my journaling entries there and try to continue sharing there on Instagram. I’m @Davinakudish. Could I eventually I will probably change back to there too. But for now, I’m still at Kudish, which is my partner’s last name. And yeah, those are the two, the two places. So. Yeah.

Abby (00:54:04) So. Well, thank you for sharing your journey, and thank you for your openness and authenticity, and integrity in it. And it’s I, I can feel how much it’s reaching out and helping other people and we can’t know how much more that will ripple out now and in the future. So really beautiful work you’re doing.

Davina (00:54:24) Thank you. Thanks for having this conversation with me and also for everything that I’ve gotten from having you as my mentor. It’s been I’m still every day continuing to unpack some of what we explored. And I’m grateful for that.

Abby (00:54:42) I think you it’s so much fun. And you were talking earlier about, like, needing to feel prepared and those things that were coming up. It’s like, I feel like every class is like an adventure. Like, I’ll show something, but I don’t know what’s going to how people are going to respond. And that’s part of what makes it so interesting, is this like dynamic alive thing. And I’m guessing for your what you teach to like you can’t know how people are going to show up or what’s going to come up for them. But that’s part of the adventure. It’s a beautiful thing you get to hold space for.

Davina (00:55:15) And that’s been a huge place for me to face fear. That fear of how am I going to come off and are they going to think I’m terrible at this and being like, no, I trust my intuition. I trust the flow. And yeah, I can only do my best and show up as mine. My most aligned self and give myself grace when it’s not perfect and yeah.

Abby (00:55:59) Absolutely. Thank you. th

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Jeanette Lee: Chinese Energetic Medicine

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Jeanette Lee: Chinese Energetic Medicine

In episode 20 of the Mind Body Free Podcast, Jeanette Lee shares his journey of Chinese Energetic Medicine and how she works with the principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine, energy healing, and personalized qigong prescription exercises to help her clients heal from chronic physical conditions. 

Jeanette has helped me tremendously in my own healing journey and I’m proud to introduce as the newest team member of Mind Body Free, where she is supporting students in the Mentorship Program with Qigong as well as offering private Chinese Energetic Medicine treatments

This episode is for anyone struggling with chronic fatigue, pain, digestive issues, reproductive issues, cancer, or any other physical condition that’s been affecting your quality of life. As well as anyone wanting to learn more about energy work and how to feel your own energy.

Connect with Jeanette:
mindbodyfree.com/jeanettelee
Facebook
jeanette@mindbodyfree.com


 

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Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.

 


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I am here with my friend Jeanette Lee. I met Jeanette many years ago when we were studying shamanic Chinese medicine and medical qigong together. And it’s been so fun to go in our directions and I’m going to delve into the world of shamanic healing. And Jeanette is amazing at Chinese energetic medicine and supporting people with physical conditions, and I’m excited to introduce you to her today because she is just a wealth of information, so much knowledge, and just so light-hearted and fun to connect with.

Abby (00:00:42) And she’s been working with me in the mentorship program. She’s been helping the students connect with their energy field, and strengthen their energy field through qigong, through different energy treatments. And she’s helped me so much. She just kind of showed up as this angel who saw one of my posts on Facebook saying, hey, I’m going through all of this Candida stuff. And she reached out and she said, Hey, I want to work with you. I want to do sessions with you. And I was like, Yeah, that would be great. And so it’s been a huge difference. I’ve been doing these specialized exercises she’s given me.

Abby (00:01:17) We’ve done lots of one on one sessions together, and I’m regaining my energy bit by bit and feeling so much better about life and my body and everything. And it’s just so nice to have her in the community, to have her support me personally, and also to have her in the mentorship supporting our lovely students there. So welcome, Jeanette. Thank you for being here.

Jeanette (00:01:38) Thanks, Abby.

Abby (00:01:43) You are welcome, my friend. So can you give me a little bit of background about you? I know that you had mentioned that you grew up learning about herbs and food as medicine and creating balance in the body. Like, can you tell me a little bit about your background?

Jeanette (00:02:03) I grew up in a very traditional Chinese family and traditional Chinese families, herbs and energy, and Chinese medicine. It’s almost part of your daily life because whatever you eat has to be for the season for certain conditions. Just as an example, my mother always cooked soup as she would. Literally. It’s called boil herbal soup in Chinese, and it would be depending on the season, it would be depending on if somebody was sick with the flu or the cold in the house. She would make specific soups, say, with asparagus and various other roots and goji berry, etc., and that’s to support the health of her children and her family. If we, for example, eat out, we always eat out in Chinese restaurants.

Jeanette (00:03:03) There was no such thing as eating at McDonald’s for us. We were a staunch Chinese family. So of course when you eat in Chinese restaurants, the food is always really rich. So there’s a term in Chinese, it’s called I’ll say it in Cantonese. So she would always if we ate in a Chinese restaurant and we brought leftovers home and little baggies, we ate that for a day or two. She would always make another dinner afterward that would address that rich richness in the diet to help your body balance. So it’s part of the traditional meal. And of course, if you’re helping in the kitchen, all the kids had to help in the kitchen. You had to learn about the preparation of foods and what goes with what and what you should never have. Like, for example, you never put garlic in Chinese soup. Never, ever, ever. It’s a bad thing.

Abby (00:04:06) You know that.

Jeanette (00:04:09) Sometimes you put ginger in, but not very often. If it’s a warming soup, you use ginger. But honestly, never use accurate vegetables in soups at all because they’re overstimulating and they’re not calming. They also affect your lungs in certain ways. So there’s I mean, you only learn this if you’re growing up in a Chinese family and you’re in the kitchen cooking or chopping. In my case, I chopped everything. Yeah, I was on food prep duty.

Abby (00:04:50) That’s amazing. I wish I had. Can we have it? We all have one of your moms. Be so. Incredible growing up and the fact that you made a second meal to address the richness of the going out meal, that’s just that’s a dedicated woman. That’s beautiful.

Jeanette (00:05:05) I don’t know if in today’s world some Chinese families are as traditional or as observant with what their dietary intake is because it’s cultural. It’s very much cultural and it’s like it goes with the seasons or it goes with the month. For example, in the springtime, it’s liver foods that you would eat. So you would eat lots of fresh greens, especially brassicas green brassicas because of the vitamin C and some of the other antioxidants and everything good for your liver. There are other things that you probably do for your liver, and I’m not sure. I think it’s called Golden Thread. Not sure, but that’s another thing that you would eat. There are also other things like helping to balance or clean your liver out.

Abby (00:06:04) What kind of things would you do to help balance or clean out your liver? Because I know springtime is the liver season. So yeah, along with eating the greens and the brassicas, what could you do to help your liver?

Jeanette (00:06:17) In the Western diet? I would say. And Western herbs I would say every morning when you get up, the first thing you do is you drink a glass of water, a full glass of water. Sometime during the day, you should probably drink water with lemon juice. Maybe a quarter or a half of lemon juice in. And just from my own learning experience. You should always drink lemon juice with a straw so that you don’t damage your teeth.

Abby (00:06:51) And we also had that learning experience. Unfortunately.

Jeanette (00:06:55) This is my group saying never drink lemon juice, drink it out of a straw.

Abby (00:07:00) My animals have taught me that lesson.

Jeanette (00:07:05) So other herbs that you could dandelion greens in fresh salads or even lightly steam because fresh salads aren’t the greatest for you. Based on Chinese medicine, you should always have things warm, slightly warm, or cooked, because it does harm them. It harms your spleen. So when I say green, when you eat greens, you should probably just have them lightly steamed. If you like having salads, then that way it will just slightly wilt, and then you can still have dressing and everything on them. A western herb that’s good for your liver is milk vessel. That’s another one that helps to clean and support your liver.

Abby (00:07:55) Nice. So I tend to avoid, like, raw vegetables that are hard on the spleen. So the spleen and the stomach are connected. So spleens are kind of all about digestion. And then I think I have heard it before is kind of like it’s a cauldron, like a digestive fire. So if we put it in icy cold water and it’s going to, it’s not going to work as well. Is that right? Yeah.

Jeanette (00:08:19) slows it. It shocks the spleen and it shocks the stomach to have cold, cold things in their stomach. And when you hit cold things contract. And then the juices don’t flow. So what they say in Chinese medicine is that it damages the actual spleen key itself. So once your spleen starts to. Lower. It causes all sorts of problems in the body. So once you’re deficient, typically the spleen is the organ system that controls the muscles. So once you’re spleen deficient, you’ll find that your muscles will weaken.

Jeanette (00:09:11) You may have extreme deficiencies, you may have diarrhea. Or on the other hand, your stomach energy may tend to flare up because the spleen is not there anchoring it, and your stomach energy may tend to flare up. So then you have acid reflux, and you have constant burping. Another thing that may happen is dampness. It can be because the spleen qi is unable to move, and dampness may start creeping into the body.

Abby (00:09:43) You describe what dampness is.

Jeanette (00:09:46) Dampness is the liquids in your body and they’re different from what you would think they are. For example, if you were to just scrape your skin, just skin yourself, you’ll see just not deep enough to hit the blood layer. But just on the surface, you’ll see a little bit of liquid that comes out of there. That’s part of the body system of liquid. You also get dampness in terms of your tissues holding a little bit of excess liquid or water. You’ll have dampness that accumulates because there’s not enough cheese to move. That water or that liquid.

Jeanette (00:10:32) And as soon as water or liquid stays in one spot, then it tends to I guess the term might be coagulated or it will lose and it will thicken with extreme dampness. It will turn flammable. And phlegm is the root of many, many issues in the body, including arthritis, gout, and even cancers.

Abby (00:11:02) Yeah,  Dampness is one that I’ve been working with and it is a mofo to clear out. It takes longer than the other ones.

Jeanette (00:11:12) It takes a long time. It can take years to clear down this, and it takes a long time to bring your spleen energy back up. Naturally.

Abby (00:11:24) And dampness and weather. When we say qi, we’re talking about energy. And so dampness would be one of the pathogenic factors, I believe it’s referred to. And so there’s dampness, there’s dryness, there is heat, wind, cold, and then there’s a dry heat that the other one.

Jeanette (00:11:46) I can’t remember. There are five, right?

Abby (00:11:51) Yeah. Damp, cold heart. Wind. Dried Chinese, I think. Yeah, And so and so those are kind of like different descriptors to a way the body can be imbalanced. And I’ve heard it described as a kind of Chinese medicine is different in one of the ways it’s different than Western medicine is that it looks like the body as a garden, and it’s not so much about the individual part of the body, but looking at it holistically and how do we bring it back into balance, is that would that be how you would view it or would you change that description?

Jeanette (00:12:31) No, that’s a perfect description. Your body’s a garden or it’s an environment within itself and ecosystem and your organs all work together and organs have channels that run through your entire head to toe. And channels are attached to organs. So those specific channels will have specific energy flows up or down from the organs. And if one organ is out of whack, another organ will. Eventually, become weakened because of the energy cycle from within your organs each organ provides. Energy to another set of organs. And that’s the cycle. It’s the five-element cycle or the five-phase cycle within the organ. So if one fails, then the next one will eventually fail. And then because that one fails, a third will fail, and then the whole cycle. The other thing is.

Abby (00:13:42)

Abby: Every two considers to be working.

Jeanette (00:13:44) Yeah. When you’re deficient, for example, if you’re deficient there, that will create other issues in terms of excess, excess or if you’re deficient, you could hit burnout and become yang deficient. And there are all sorts of differences. I guess what they would call syndromes happening. So. Yeah.

Abby (00:14:14)

Abby: Yeah. And you mentioned the five elements working together. So each organ is paired with a different element and they all work together as a cycle and each one is essential. And that’s like also when one goes offline or just doesn’t work properly and all of the other ones feel it and eventually, the other ones start suffering as well. Yeah.

Jeanette (00:14:39) So yeah.

Abby (00:14:41) Do you find that there are common conditions that you see a lot of? There’s like patterns that you see with what’s going on, people that you work with.

Jeanette (00:14:51) Yeah. The most common, I think, and most likely because I work more with women than with men, although I have long, long-term male clients that I work with and see every week. But in terms of women, the one that I see quite often is spleen qi deficiency, yin deficiency, and yang or liver yang excess.

Jeanette (00:15:28) And that also impacts their monthly cycle tremendously. So if you don’t have the cheek to move and your liver is not moving, or if it’s flaring upwards, then it will throw your cycle off completely.

Abby (00:15:51) And that’s.

Jeanette (00:15:51) Why. I’m so.

Abby (00:15:52) Sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. That’s why we were working on that together. So you were helping me with that? Because that was throwing my cycle off. Well, it’s been like this since my whole life, but I am actively working on it now because I had just been on birth control pills from the time I was like 14 to 32, which incidentally can contribute to Candida overgrowth, which I’ve been dealing with lately. So for me, I probably had that condition even when I was a kid, you know, or when I was younger. This is like spleen qi deficiency and immune deficiency. I remember being a little kid and being tired. I remember having passed out at one time, remember? Like having a sensitive stomach to food. So is this something that people could be born with or is it something they usually develop or a combination there?

Jeanette (00:16:45) There is. From what I’ve read, I worked with a fellow a couple of years ago who had stomach issues, and he was extremely spleen qi deficiency, and he had loose balls, diarrhea, and digested food. And he asked me the same question. And at that point, I didn’t know if it was hereditary that was passed down in like in Chinese, they call it Jing or the essence. But one day his little boy came in and I think at that point he was five years old and we were just joking. I was playing with him. I got him up on the table and I was tickling him. And then I said, Is there a butterfly? And at that point, I turned into his energy and I said, Is there a little butterfly that’s flipping around in your stomach? And he said, Yeah, it’s always there. I said, Hmm. And you sometimes have diarrhea and you feel really tired. And he’s like, Yeah. So at that point, I realized he had pretty much the same thing as his dad, but at a very much younger age and not as developed. So I guess in hindsight, I would say, yes, that things like that can be inherited.

Abby (00:18:18) Yeah. Wow. That’s a good insight into that. And you mentioned feeling into his energy. And so that’s something that you do because you do Chinese energetic medicine treatments one on one with people. So what is that like when you work with their energy? Like, what is that process like?

Jeanette (00:18:36) So. When I work with people hands-on, it’s much different because I’m very much more present and I’m very physical and I touch them and I’ll palpate into different points and I’ll push pulse energy through them. So it’s much more. Physical material type of treatment. I do go off into their outer energy fields and work in their outer energy fields because there’ll be different things happening. There may be inconsistencies that I need to bring through the body, but for the most part, with COVID, I do all of my treatments by distance.

Jeanette (00:19:24) So what happens there is I connect with the client on Zoom and I’ll be assessed and I’ll talk to them. And, then we go into the treatment. The client will lay down and I will bring their energetic form onto my table and I’ll work with their energetic form. I’m able to connect to them by stepping into their body so I can feel what Is happening. And at some points I can see or I can hear or I can feel pain or imbalances, I can see light and dark and colors. So that gives me an indication of what’s going on and where they need it. You know, purging or if they need modification or if they need energy blockages cleared or. For example, constrictions. Constrictions are interesting to feel when you’re working on someone at a distance because I get into their body and go through this.

Abby (00:20:45) Constriction.

Jeanette (00:20:46) Open.

Jeanette (00:20:49) Frictions typically are not easy. They never go away in one treatment because it’s almost like it has memory.

Abby (00:20:58)

Abby: So like the muscle memory but energetic memory.

Jeanette (00:21:02) Yeah. So it’s like habituated to this constricted energy flow. So time after time, I have to just kind of keep opening and it may take three or four or five sessions. It depends on where the constriction is. Also, depending on the client, if they are self-aware, I will ask them to help me during the session because if the client actually can do it with me, it’s much more effective. So it clears much more easily. Yeah. So yeah, it’s having the person that’s lying there go into, for example, if there’s a constriction down there, their little cavity by the heart space, I’ll just have them go down, sink into that space and just literally make room or if there’s something there, I’ll ask them to move it and quite often they’re able to do it. Yeah.

Abby (00:22:12) Yeah, I found that too. If they work with you, they can move you can move your energy so effectively with, with some guidance and. Yeah. And you’re working together then to two sets of energy instead of what.

Jeanette (00:22:28) Well it’s really important in treatments that the client take an active role during the treatment is good if, if there is something like that that comes up if they can help me clear it or help me open up a blockage or remove a thing that shouldn’t be there, then, it actually will happen much more quickly than if I work on it and try and remove something. It takes me probably 2 to 3 times longer to work through it. I was going to say something else, but it’s gone. It’s funny how it happens.

Abby (00:23:17) It’s like. It’s like a whisper that goes, oh.

Jeanette (00:23:20) It was a good one too.

Abby (00:23:21) Come to you. Feel free to. Interject when it comes back. So what drew you into this kind of work? What did you do towards doing this?

Jeanette (00:23:35) What actually kind of pulled me into this was I didn’t know I was going to go into this to start with, but my brother had passed away from cancer. And it was a hard time because he was in the hospital for months and he was on chemo and he was telling us that he was seeing. Things. And these things were telling him differently, giving him different messages, and he would have conversations and everybody else, everybody thought he was crazy or was the result of the chemotherapy. But I know what I know now, I think he was talking to his guides.

Abby (00:24:29) And what kinds of things was he seeing or describing?

Jeanette (00:24:34) He would be in his hospital room and he would seem like just a little. He didn’t describe what they look like, but small I wouldn’t even call them people, but small creatures or entities or something. And one of them told him that he wasn’t going to die right now, so not to worry. And he lived for five months and he has diagnosed with stage five metastatic cancer, which was in his nervous system and is in the fluid around his brain and everything. And eventually, it did go into his brain. But essentially the chemotherapy went through trying to get him more weeks so that he could get everything organized.

Jeanette (00:25:33) But he ended up having more months like we were. He was released from the hospital and was able to spend time at home with his family and everything. So. Yeah. So it was just messages like that. You’re not going to die immediately. Like, just take the time, take a breath and just get things organized. And it’s just some other things about being able to pass on and not to worry because death is not the end, that there is a constant, constant life afterward.

Abby (00:26:16) It sounds like he had this connection with something in a different, different world and this physical one we’re normally living in. Yeah. For you. At that time, did you feel that it was his guide at that time or what was that like for you to hear that?

Jeanette (00:26:32) Then for I wasn’t that I wasn’t anywhere as sensitive and I at that point, I didn’t know what a guide was like. It was all out there for me. I think the thing that made a huge impact on me was when. The day that he passed, my brother and I were sitting in the waiting room and we both knew we passed because we had his energy come through right almost at the yellow court region. Which area? Yeah, solar plexus is the energy that came through and I immediately knew it was him and he wanted to say thank you.

Jeanette (00:27:22) And the same time I had it, my brother who was sitting beside me had it, except that my brother gave him an extra, like one of those big hugs lifted from the back. So, that was kind of an eye-opener. And my first well, not my first, I think I’ve had brushes with. Things that I didn’t understand before that. But that was like the first real tangible thing where somebody besides me felt the same thing, so it was more real. So what got me into qigong or Chinese energetic medicine was a friend of mine was heading to Vancouver to take a medical qigong course, and she said, You want to go? And I went, I don’t even know what it is, but sure.

Abby (00:28:18) Why not?

Jeanette (00:28:19) I thought it was like tai chi.

Abby (00:28:22) Course or something. Little did you know.

Jeanette (00:28:29) So that’s. That’s how I am. That was my introduction.

Abby (00:28:34) Wow. I guess it was the right time in your life. It feels like the universe just kind of handed this one. Maybe your guides are just like, hey, this is next. Yeah. Sounded like you were open. Yeah. Which was all you needed at that time, I guess.

Jeanette (00:28:49) Yeah, I think everything happens for a reason, so. Yeah. And then. Yeah, since then I have taken an interest.

Abby (00:29:05) Yes. So, yeah Every time I talk to you, you’re like, oh, I’m doing this new Qigong said, I’ve been doing this meditation. Like, it’s like it’s inspiring. It’s just like, you know, someone has found what they’re meant to be doing when they just live and breathe it, you know? Like for Fun.

Jeanette (00:29:24) It’s called I’m one of these people who need to figure it out. And if I can’t figure it out, I learn more and more or take more and more courses.

Abby (00:29:34) Great way to grow. You’re so knowledgeable about it. And it’s yeah, it’s amazing.

Jeanette (00:29:42) The curiosity behind it all. And it’s, it’s amazing how much there is behind this.

Abby (00:29:50) Oh, it feels like it’s not.

Jeanette (00:29:53) Yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s not just t there’s so much behind the practice and the traditions behind it and it’s so powerful. Like, it’s just amazing. That’s all I can see. Amazing.

Abby (00:30:10) Yeah. And it’s one of those things that, like when I’m doing qigong, I mean, lately I’ve been doing these liver and spleen exercises that involve stretching my tendons so it doesn’t feel like soft, flowy tai chi kind of in the park sort of vibe is like me shaking and moaning and like, getting hot and flesh in the face. It’s not pretty, but I know it’s working. It’s working things out of my system. I feel great after, but a lot of it too. It is very gentle and it’s, you know, to think about how much of a return in well being you get for how gentle it can seem or like, Oh, you’re just standing there and meditating and moving breath in different directions, or you’re just like moving your hand down here and imagining and tending.

Abby (00:31:01) The energy goes this way. Like it can seem like. I just like magical or even made up, like, how am I doing stuff? But then you feel phenomenally different. So yeah, I mean I, there’s something to it and this is the work I do too. So I don’t, I’m no longer someone who doubts, but. For a while, I would just be like, Wow, I don’t have to, like go work out or do this invasive procedure I’ll have to do just gentle movement and breath and attention, practice, and what a difference it makes. Yeah.

Jeanette (00:31:32) Yeah,  And as you’re talking about how, how it looks like you’re not doing it, a good, good example is the question the return to spring said because you’re you can stand, you can sit or you can sit cross-legged and you hold your hands in one position. And if somebody was looking at you from the outside, it’s like, how is that healing you?

Abby (00:32:00) I just think you’re meditating. But a lot is going on. There’s inner alchemy happening.

Jeanette (00:32:05) Yeah, the energy movement is just phenomenal. That and the flow of that. You can feel it just by directing your hands in a tent position in front of your chest. And if you’re focused and your hands are in the right position, the flow is amazing. Yeah. And that’s all clearing out and sending energy down to your kidneys.

Abby (00:32:28) Yeah. And a lot of people need energy in their kidneys. I believe a lot of women I worked with, myself included. Just those are the battery banks of the body, is that right?

Jeanette (00:32:40) Yeah, they are, too. And in today’s world, the kidneys most people have are kidney deficient and likely both yin and yang deficient because of the world we live in.

Abby (00:32:55) The go, go, go. Get up and drink coffee. Push, push, push.

Jeanette (00:33:00) Yeah. And the way we relax is to go home and watch TV. But all that visual stimulus is it’s not putting G into you. It’s pulling out of you, and it’s getting your emotions and your senses going. So you’re not relaxing by watching television.

Abby (00:33:18) So what would be a simple way that you could support your kidneys and replenish them?

Jeanette (00:33:26) The best way. I think the most highly effective way is to do the kidney set from the return to spring. That’s my go-to when I’m tired and I feel and there are obvious signs when you’re deficient. It’s like you have an ache in the heel you can’t. Or it’s difficult to fall asleep. You start forgetting things. Some indications in the eyes also tell that your kidney is deficient.

Abby (00:34:00) What would your eyes look like if you’re kidney deficient?

Jeanette (00:34:03) You have a bit of shadowing under the eyes. Yeah. That’s what I would say is for me when I look at somebody the best indication of the deficiency.

Abby (00:34:18) Maybe I’ll.

Jeanette (00:34:19) Go ahead. The lower back or lower back is another one in the morning. That’s a really good identifier of deficiency. That’s something that happens a lot with women during their menstrual cycle like the lower back. And so would that be more taxing on the kidneys for women at that time of the month?

Jeanette (00:34:37) Yeah, it’s the yin deficiency. Yeah. And there’s it’s the kidneys, but it’s also the channels, the main channels that become very deficient. And once those are deficient, the entire body is just. Just kind of collapses into deficiency. And then in terms of women’s health and the liver, she doesn’t move properly to move the blood. And the whole cycle happens where you’ll have pain, cramping, excessive bleeding or. Sometimes it’ll go the other way and it’ll be you won’t have the period. So it just depends on what’s happening.

Abby (00:35:24) It’s usually there’s not enough energy and the energy is not moving as it should be. Yeah. When you say channels, is that the same thing as the Energy Meridian Pathways that acupuncturists work with?

Jeanette (00:35:38) Yes. Yeah, they’re the same. I’ll use the same points. Qigong is Chinese medicine, they’re based on the same system. They all came out of the. The same. Tradition. It’s been around for thousands of years. So.

Abby (00:36:06) Yeah. For some of the books that I know, we had our textbooks in class. They’re about like three inches thick and there are five of them. And this is just like a little peek into the thousands of years old wisdom and research and practice and study. And in this modality.

Abby (00:36:23) It’s pretty amazing. Yeah. And I. I used to get acupuncture done, and I would go and it would hurt because, you know, opening up the channels and forcing it, the needle itself didn’t hurt too much. But I come home when I’d flop on my couch and I would drool because I was so tired from the g like being forced to move. But you’re, you’re doing you’re helping the cheetah move without the use of actual physical needles. And it’s it can to me, it felt like a gentler process, but also effective. It’s nice. I can be at home and I don’t drool after, but it’s just like it’s just. I mean, each process has its place, but, interestingly, we can do this work without needles as well.

Jeanette (00:37:10) Yeah, It’s the same. I mean, acupressure. It can be done without needles. Directing and emitting energy is the same as needles. And you can do a surface-emission or you can go deep. You can direct downwards or upwards, purge everything. I mean, it’s the same, similar, and I think it’s quite often a deeper treatment after qigong treatment. It depends on the type of treatment. It can wipe you out for several hours, especially purging. If you’re purging, you’re going through a detox.

Jeanette (00:38:03) So you will have various reactions. I’m just a woman I’ve been working with since December. I guess the first few sessions I worked with her, she would go through twitching her legs, her feet, and her entire body would twitch on the table. And the first time I worked on her all night, her body just twitched all night long. It just kept moving. And this is the energy opening up and moving through her body. So. You. You have to be ready if you’re going to have a treatment to do nothing for the rest of the day.

Jeanette (00:38:52)  Because if there’s some strong purging or opening of the channels or energy going where there virtually was no flow before. There will be various actions in your life and they will be very physical. Some people have incredibly vivid dreams during the treatment or after the treatment.

Abby (00:39:21) So what’s happening at the energetic level is also affecting their emotions, their mind. It’s all energy that’s interconnected.

Jeanette (00:39:29) Yeah, They’re psyche and their spiritual aspects. So. Yeah.

Abby (00:39:35) Yeah. And it’s so interesting that the things that we think and feel are also so interconnected to what’s going on in our body and our energy and our organ systems. Like, I’ve, I’ve seen people who’ve gotten surgery and they have really difficult emotional experience after because the Meridian Pathways have been cut and the surgery, the liver is overrun with processing things and it processes the emotions as well as filters and cleans the blood of toxins. So all of a sudden when the liver is burdened, then all emotions become overwhelming.

Abby (00:40:12) And it’s funny. It’s like we support the organ systems and it also addresses things like overwhelm and helps with things like anxiety, and depression, when we release these blockages. Yeah,  Something that I noticed, too, when I’ve been doing my check on exercises, it’s been giving me more energy physically, but I also feel just so, so light emotionally. Like I’ll go outside for a walk and I just look at everything. My husband laughs at me. Dave laughs at me. Like, every time we go out, you say it’s a beautiful day. No matter what kind of day it is. Like it is. It’s a beautiful day. Look at those trees. Just, like, feel happy.

Jeanette (00:40:55)  That’s good. It’s. Well, yeah, it’s because you’re. You’re because your body is functioning, right. And you don’t have that turbidity and toxicity in you. Yes. So you’re lighter. Everything’s lighter, everything’s brighter. Yeah. And like when I work on people, when I step into them, I can see the darkness or the gray, and like, I literally can see on one side, it’s quite common for me to step in. I can just see the darkness on this side. And it’s just because they’ve got some sort of constriction down on the ankle and the t isn’t flowing out. So it’s just building out. Building, building out. And it’s just as a matter of just basically opening up the feet and going and just directing it and then it clears itself.

Jeanette (00:41:51) It’s but that’s how you see it going outside, right? Because you don’t have that turbidity that you’re having to look through.

Abby (00:41:58) Yeah. It’s just like the filter that grays out. The world is not there and it’s so much easier to see the beauty of the world. Yeah, we briefly chatted about this before we started recording about just things popping into people’s energy fields. I was like, Oh, that wasn’t there last week. Where did this thing come from? Let’s clear it out. It’s like I think of it as energetic hygiene. Like we take a shower every day to clean our body, but then there’s our energy field. And wouldn’t it be great if we had this, like, normalized in our society where we learn how to like, feel the energy in our body and release things that are blocking it?

Jeanette (00:42:35) Yeah. And you can do, I mean it’s if you with a little bit of practice, you can do this yourself. It’s like you can set the energy by controlling your weight field. You can change the space around you by pulling in different energies. The higher frequency energies in your outer field will change the space because the energy in your outer fields is connected to the liver and the heart, which are the more spiritual energies connected to Shin. There is a higher frequency either. Different colors, but they also come with a set of emotions that are yang. Let me see how I can explain this positively.

Jeanette (00:43:37) Our emotions, like in terms of electrical charge, you have negative positives. So negative is very physical or low vibration type energy, which are the slower emotions like grief or fear or worries, OCD type rage, anger. And then you have the higher set of emotions which are from the liver, for example, compassion, kindness, or from the heart, which is peace, order. So if you are to tap into those emotions and those organs and bring them and just all you have to do is think about them. And they will come out and they will fill just basically your outer field will start activating. And the universal chi or the chi that is up there, the cosmic g will automatically come and it will move out from your way field and fill the space.

Jeanette (00:44:49) And it will move towards. The negative because it’s electrical and it will change space. So the people with other people in that space. It will transition and change the way their emotions are coming. It will give you. You will change because you’ve automatically used intention to change the emotion. So your whole state of being will change almost just like that, just by tapping into those high-frequency emotions. Or actually, I shouldn’t call them emotions. Virtues, I should call them.

Abby (00:45:35) Yeah. Passion, kindness. And is. Is it as simple as just thinking of compassion and kindness and just letting yourself feel that for no reason at all, and let that kind of radiate out from you feeling your energy?

Jeanette (00:45:48) Compassion. Yeah, exactly. Compassion is probably the easiest. It’s like flipping a switch. You can have compassion for something in any situation. If there’s someone who’s crying, you can have compassion for if there’s someone who’s just in this total worry, some friend you can have compassion for. So it’s almost like you flip the switch and you can just touch your liver and you can just go into compassion if you. And it doesn’t matter where you are, you should. It’s so easy to tap into that compassion, the heart.

Jeanette (00:46:38) It would be much more difficult because of their more difficult virtues of peace and harmony. It’s really difficult to tap into your heart amid chaos. So I always kind of go-to suggest that people go to the river and if they can’t do that, then think about guanine. That will change immediately as well. Just bring that energy down. Just all you have to do is think about the goddess of mercy, and that will change the energy around you as well. I mean.

Abby (00:47:19) Nine years ago when we were in training and our teacher had all of these different deities and gods and goddesses, those pictures up on the wall. And we were walking by and it was like, Oh, I walked my companion’s image and she spoke to me, the only one that day and very loud and clear, like, oh, wow, you’re here. Okay.

Abby (00:47:38) Very compassionate, loving, being. Yeah. And when you. And just so wait. She says that someone’s energy feels like an energetic feeling that radiates out from them and that extends beyond the physical body. Yeah.  And that’s the place that we want to have filled with Archie, our energy. And as we do that, then we don’t get other stray stuff collecting in our field.

Jeanette (00:48:04 ) Yeah, it’s, it’s some for the most part. It is your outer fields through the protective fields within you, within your body. They are part of you, they are you, they’re your energy. And the further out you go, the purer the energy and those are. And you want to keep them strong no matter where you are. You need to have your way to feel there because they are your boundaries. If your fields are kind of collapsing inwards, you’ll feel threatened, you’ll feel very vulnerable. But all you need to do is think of positive virtue. And it will just activate and you’ll have your own if you need boundaries or if you need your own space, for example, it will be there as soon as you activate.

Abby (00:49:07) It makes me think of a kind of meditation, metta meditation or called loving-kindness meditation. People just meditate, feeling, loving-kindness, just feeling it for somebody, someone something themself just radiating, loving-kindness. And they just imagine what their inner energy fields are like. People who practice that every day. What a beautiful way to bring beautiful energy into the world. But it’s also very, very protective because it would keep your energy very cleansed like their energetic hygiene is on point with that.

Jeanette (00:49:46) Yeah. But it’s also. It’s also a way of transforming other energies.

Jeanette (00:49:54) Yeah. Because so. Yeah, it’s just what it touches when you feel a good example is when you walk into a room and there’s someone there’s always somebody warm, you know? You know that they’re this warm, open, loving person. You don’t even have to see them. All you have to do is sense. And as soon as you sense them, you change. Yes. And it’s yeah, it’s that frequency. It just, you know, and if you can kind of activate your own and bring down the energy, it will eventually go out and transform. It’s like using this to set the intention to change the space.

Abby (00:50:44) Yeah, it’s beautiful.

Jeanette (00:50:45) That’s. Yeah

Abby (00:50:47) And it’s like a practice. It starts just feeling the compassion and seeing it grow and letting it grow from there. And I remember when we used to go to these other yoga classes, our favorite teacher, she was just like that. She was just so loving and warm and kind. And in class she would say, every class, like the beginning of class, you welcome people, get people into the energy. And she would say, I think it was the beginning or end. I love you to everybody in class like collectively, but you could feel the energy of it was like she meant it and it was so touching to have this one, this person you don’t know, but just this unconditional love radiating out from them. And it was just such a beautiful, transformative energy and experience to be in, just washing in this person’s love. It’s just amazing.

Jeanette (00:51:37) Yeah. It’s just, you know, it’s. It’s that frequency from that. That virtue or emotion that it’s just it’s universal. It’s just all surrounding everything. Everything is full. Even the furniture, the, you know, my laptop, my books, they’re all radiating. And we’re moving to that frequency. It’s beautiful. It’s that vibration of the frequency.

Abby (00:52:14) It’s a beautiful frequency to fill yourself with and to fill your space or your home with too. Yeah,

Jeanette (00:52:21)  And it’s when you have compassion, you have compassion for the world.

Abby (00:52:29) Well, on that note, we’ll begin wrapping it up, but it has been beautiful. Is there anything else that you want to share, any messages you’d want for people to know about, you know, healing or well-being or energy or whatever you like?

Jeanette (00:52:47)  I’m just trying to think. I think for the most part. To understand qigong and what she is you have to have to look inwards. And you also, to feel her, you have to feel she or you have to have cheated. So if you’ve never worked with qigong before, don’t be afraid. If you can’t feel it, it just means that you don’t have enough qi in your body built up so that you can recognize what it is. So maybe go and take some cheek or some tai chi or qigong or some sort of form that actually. And actually, it could be yoga. Yoga builds cheap as well. Or meditation will build. Just take some beginner courses and start building the QI in your body. And that will enable you to feel. Chee, which is you’re feeling a vibration, a frequency of energy.

Abby (00:54:05) And thank you. It’s like an awakening of the energetic field of awakening to learn how to feel this dimension.

Jeanette (00:54:15) Yeah.  It’s. It’s an amazing, amazing thing. Just by running one hand over the other, I can feel it’s just an incredible feeling of feeling the tree.

Abby (00:54:28) It’s beautiful. And so people can find you. So they can find you. In the mentorship. Coming up in May, you’re working with our current mentor group, which is wonderful because we do such powerful shifting and spiritual and shamanic and transformative work and it takes a lot of qi to do that. And so I’m just so happy that you are there helping the group to help to support the group, to help them lift their energy out so they become stronger. And everything that we move through becomes lighter and easier by extension in their lives too. So really happy to have you here. I feel like it’s such an integral part of healing and transformation and energy work and spiritual work and emotional work is just having this strong foundation. And I feel like the Qigong is just so good at creating that.

Jeanette (00:55:27)  Yeah. It’s so nice to be able to teach people how to connect because the connection is quite easy. It’s just for the first time to connect up there and be. Being there is quite eye-opening.

Abby (00:55:43) Yes. It’s amazing.

Jeanette (00:55:44)  It’s an amazing feeling. Yeah, I love doing what I do.

Abby (00:55:52) It’s you know, I can tell. It shows. And on that note, too, if people want to book a one-on-one session with you, they can find more information about you at mindbodyfree.com/jeanette, which is J, e, a, n, e, t, t, and e. Well, thank you for being here, my dear. It’s been a pleasure.

Jeanette (00:56:18) Yeah, well, thanks for inviting me. It was fun. Always fun. Take care.

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19-Come Home to Yourself

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Come Home To Yourself

In episode 19 – Come Home to Yourself, we unpack the symptoms and reasons for feeling disconnected from your true self, and what you can do to reconnect with who you really are. This episode is for anyone who struggles with feeling stuck, alone, anxious or depressed. Or for anyone who feels disconnected from their emotions, body or life.

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello. Welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I’m so excited to have you here. I am a healer, a coach, and a mentor. I help people to heal their minds, their body, their spirits, remember their magic, their purpose, and share their gifts with the world. And today, I want to talk to you about the symptoms that so many of us are experiencing around the world, and have been experiencing for many generations, for many centuries, this concept of connection and disconnection.

Abby (00:00:45) And I feel when we get down to the root of things, the biggest core piece that I’ve found is a sense of disconnection that creates suffering, and that is a disconnection with our true selves, with who we are authentic, with our spirit, with our heart and soul, disconnection with our body, with the messages our body is giving us. When it’s telling us, Hey, I need you to slow down. I need you to let go of these thoughts. I need you to eat or drink differently, to live differently. Messages from Mother Nature.

Abby (00:01:22) The way we live on the planet. We don’t feel that connection with Mother Earth. We don’t realize that when we damage the Earth, we’re damaging ourselves, both spiritually and practically. The Earth is our mother. It is literally what makes up the elements of our bodies, and it is the one that sustains life, that keeps us alive, that nourishes us. And as we harm the Earth, if we put toxins in the Earth, those toxins end up right back to us. And spiritually, the earth is a part of who we are too. We are an extension and evolution of nature, and to harm the mother is to harm the self and each other.

Abby (00:02:06) If we feel disconnected from each other, if we feel isolated, if we feel alone, it is like the leaf that falls off of the tree. We don’t have the nourishment of the larger community, the larger organism that is the collective, and that connection with each other. It can lift us, it can inspire us. It is where we go to co-create and collaborate and feel loved and held and share our love. So connection and disconnection, it’s such a core piece of how we feel in life, how we experience life and ourselves.

Abby (00:02:49) And with that, there is the ego. So the egoic mind is a part of creating disconnection, as was part of creating separation, and that has a place that has its value in the physical world on the Earth plane, we need some degree of separation between self and other so that I know I am me and you are you when you are in pain doesn’t mean that I am in pain. And that’s good because it means I can take care of you and it’s a balance. So if there’s too much sense of separation, I can forget that I am also connected to you.

Abby (00:03:30) I am one leaf on the tree, but I’m also, by extension, the whole tree and connected to you as another leaf on that tree. So it’s finding the balance and it’s remembering that within all of these different perspectives and senses of separation, there’s also the greater wholeness of each of us, of life, of the universe. Alan Watts said You are a focal point in which the whole universe looks out. You can imagine that within each of you, as Rumi said, the universe dwells inside you. Within each of us, there is an infinite and infinite expanse of consciousness of possibility, because we are connected to all that is, and all that is is connected to us.

Abby (00:04:28) And the way that we lookout is a focal point of all of that. And our consciousness is a beautiful celebration of life because if we don’t have a sense of separation, it’s harder to experience individuality, to experience new things if you’re simply infinity forever. So we come into this world of duality, of light and dark, and all of the shades in between. And that gives us the breadth and depth of. Periods of life where we can have new experiences as individual consciousness, and in those experiences grow and evolve our consciousness.

Abby (00:05:11) Until many believe, I sense that we are eventually ready to return to a greater, infinite sense of oneness. We go through these cycles, the birth of the soul, this individual experience of learning, and then coming back home to oneness. And with that, there’s also the individual sense of separation from self. So if you think about each of us as a soul, as a spirit, we have our unique essence, our unique consciousness, the signature. That is who we are, our energy.

Abby (00:05:53) And we are that observing consciousness, the witness having this experience of life, making decisions, experiencing the results of those decisions as we go throughout our lifetimes and as we go throughout these lifetimes, as we go through simply one lifetime growing up as a baby and into adulthood, we are biologically programmed within instinct to fit in with the tribe so that we can stay alive because we not as much today.

Abby (00:06:30) Well, yeah, actually, we are still very much in many ways dependent on each other and civilization on society for keeping us alive in this big, wild world of earth where we support each other we’re meant to have different rules that we then share and complement with each other. And this societal structure, this part of us that is social, wants to fit in with the tribe. We are biologically programmed to fit in. When we come into this world, we see as babies, can I have a place where I belong? Because that is how I will survive.

Abby (00:07:08) Especially when we’re young. We’re helpless. Can I be loved? Can I belong? Is what we’re looking for. And so we can mold ourselves. We learn to mold ourselves into the ways that we think other people want us to be. And we do that as a form of survival so that we can stay amongst the tribe and be accepted. And so that can mean smiling when we don’t feel happy or saying we will want to do something or will do something when it doesn’t feel right in our bodies.

Abby (00:07:44) And that can evolve more and more into growing up and taking a job that we feel we should take, even though we don’t want it, or following a life path that doesn’t excite or inspire us at all, maybe even makes us feel less and less alive because we think that’s the path we’re quote-unquote, supposed to take. We take it. So it’s like a habit that develops from a very young, initially out of a need for survival. And then it just becomes this habit of doing what others want us to do instead of listening to what we want to do. And as babies and young children, we come into the world with very good boundaries usually.

Abby (00:08:25) So children are not typically shy about telling you how they feel, what they do want, what they don’t want, what they’re comfortable with, what they aren’t comfortable with. They can vocalize that quite loudly. But as we get older, we learn to calm that part of ourselves. We learn to appease others, and that’s not all bad. We do have a degree of compliance that all live and work together as a toddler. We don’t want to let them take the crayon and draw all over your friends or our friend’s wall or our wall, typically. So it’s a balance, right? But we learn as kids, we get this habit of doing what others want us to do, even when we don’t want to.

Abby (00:09:11) And over enough time, we can even forget what it is that we even wanted in the first place. And that part of us, that inner voice that says that points you in the direction of what feels good for you. It gets muffled out and it gets quiet down behind layers and layers of social conditioning to belong within the tribe. And that’s where we can fall into patterns of depression and anxiety. This feeling of dullness or emptiness in life, because we’re going through these motions and these motions that aren’t exciting or even really feel like us. So for me, I remember going through a period of my life where I felt like I was just living in this dream-like I was living somebody else’s life.

Abby (00:10:06) And I felt alienated from my own life and myself. And later on, I went down a healing journey through plant medicines and shamanic training, and much more. But it was a symptom of not being connected with and aligned with my authentic self. I’m not even knowing where or what that part of me was. I had been going through the motions for so long of doing what my egoic mind thought I wanted, what I identified with as successful and good. And this will make me happy.

Abby (00:10:45) And just trying to push through to make that work, even though it wasn’t what my heart really, truly wanted. And some of us can go through our whole life this way of not knowing the deeper part of ourselves inside and others. You know, we’ll get glimpses of that, those moments that feel so alive and free, where we’re touching our soul and even maybe expressing a part of ourselves. And that’s such a beautiful experience to taste that and to dip your toe into that. And for those of you who felt that you know what I’m talking about, those moments that are just so vivid, so present, so beautiful in that way.

Abby (00:11:32) And if you haven’t felt that, hey, that is okay, it is still available to you, that part of you is still inside. And a lot of people right now are feeling a calling, the sense of, I need to find something. I don’t know what that is, but I need to find it. And I felt that calling years ago when I was on my beginning, my path of healing and awakening. And I think those two things kind of go together like two sides of the same coin or two parts of an interdimensional door to your soul and the universe. But that calling is the biggest place that comes from is your soul.

Abby (00:12:17) It’s that part of you that is saying, Hey, find me. You need to find me. I’m here. I’m here. I’m waiting for you to come to find me so that we can dance in this magic of life. So that we can share these gifts. Unlock these gifts that are inside of you. This purpose that you have here in this pivotal time on earth is calling for us to awaken to who we truly are and to share our gifts with the world, those gifts that are so needed. I feel in a sense that calling is a part of this awakening, this birthing of consciousness, of a new era on earth, perhaps. And answering that calling can feel overwhelming.

Abby (00:13:07) It can feel like, where do I even begin? I know I need to do something, but what? What do I need to do? Where do I need to find this? There’s this overwhelming urge, but the details are not laid out. I don’t know where to begin looking, and that’s how I felt anyway. And if you’re there, then I feel you. I’ve been there. For me, it was overwhelming. It was all-consuming in many ways. And I just knew I needed to find this thing that seemed just beyond my reach, just beyond my grasp. Or I could almost pierce through the veil and grab it. But I just couldn’t quite bring it into clarity, into conscious awareness yet.

Abby (00:13:50) And so I spent seven years learning how to do that, learning a path back to myself through traveling different parts of the world, working with shamans, studying yoga philosophy and practices, learning shamanic healing, how to work with the mind and release unhealthy patterns and beliefs, and working with plant medicines that are expansive and consciousness and deeply healing for me anyway. And working with energy and learning qigong and Chinese shamanism and learning how to integrate all of these things, which are both tools for healing and awakening. So two sides of the interdimensional door as we heal the painful things. Which are things like past traumas.

Abby (00:14:47) Emotions get stuck in the body and cause the energy to stop flowing in the body. Which leads to pain, fatigue, illness, beliefs that are not in alignment with our true nature, with our true essence as we learn to release these things. And with that also external energies. So things like entities that can kind of run amok, kind of look at them as opportunistic energies that can kind of create chaos in people’s lives until you learn how to deal with them. So as we release things like this, we are healing. And as we release things like this, we are pulling off the layers between your awareness and your true self.

Abby (00:15:32) So you can imagine every untrue belief, like not feeling worthy, not feeling good enough or strong enough or good or lovable, or like you belong. Those are all different layers, different veils, covering up your true self. And as you pull off each layer, it’s healing. It is like pulling a thorn out of your side. That was creating anxiety, overwhelm, depression, and pain. As you pull that out, you naturally begin healing your body, your spirit, your mind. And as you do that, it is easier and easier to connect with that part of you that is infinite. That is why that is magical. That has all the answers to who you are and what you’re meant to be doing here in this lifetime.

Abby (00:16:22) So they happen at the same time, layer by layer, piece by piece, releasing that, which is untrue. And as we do that, this is the first step that I do with my mentor students and my mentorship program, which is beginning to heal what creates the most suffering, healing it from the nervous system, from the body, from the spirit, from the mind. And as we do that, we’re creating space inside of ourselves to feel at home in the body, to feel at ease and calm. That’s number one. So if we’re carrying around, I like to joke that it’s like a big boulder.

Abby (00:16:59) So if we’re carrying around grief and depression, I have this big boulder in my arms and whatever I do, I’m going to bring that with me. So let me go figure out my life purpose. I might just bring this boulder with me as I go. And it’s like, Oh, no, we can’t do that. It’s too exhausting and taxing and distracting to be carrying around all that pain. So the first thing we do is learn how to put the boulder down. And as you do that, there’s so much more space and freedom and energy inside of you. And from there we can connect with who you truly are.

Abby (00:17:34) And that is a process of remembering, of coming home to your heart and letting your heart guide you to give you messages and insight and wisdom. And the heart is a portal to the soul. And in this portal, you learn how to connect with your divine essence inside of you. And you learn how to let that guide you. And you learn how to connect with other parts of you to navigate this life on earth from your most wise, magical, infinite self. So we learn how to listen to the heart, how to speak with your future self who is already doing all of the things that you’re meant to be doing.

Abby (00:18:17) So you don’t have to figure out, How do I do it? What is my purpose? What does that look like? That’s not something that your conscious mind will have easy access to. So that can be stressful trying to figure that all out so we don’t do that. Instead, we go inward, we connect with your inner wisdom and we move forward in time and get a glimpse of what your future self is already doing. And we ask that part of you how you got there, what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, all of those kinds of questions. And we bring that wisdom, that insight, that guidance back into your life today.

Abby (00:18:55) And from there, having tasted this future life that is available to you and getting clarity on how to get there, now you have this clear path before you where you know where you’re going and you know how you’re doing it. And then it’s just taking step by step, one foot in front of the other, moving towards this place that is clear and beautiful in front of you. And it is so much more fun to manifest from this place of insight and wisdom and magic and all of the things that we do can move us in that direction. And what an incredible thing to have your mind be a servant to your heart, to support you in creating the life you want to live, but already getting to see and touch and feel what that life is.

Abby (00:19:47) So you know, you’re moving in the right direction. This all comes from connecting with who you truly are, with letting go of the beliefs of who we think we should be, of who others want us to be, of what is acceptable to be letting go of all of that so that you can remember and discover who you truly are and what you are here to do in this world and this lifetime. And it’s a beautiful thing to awaken to. And as you awaken to that. Your life begins to change in ways that you couldn’t predict. Things start aligning as you realize what you want and who you are.

Abby (00:20:37) The world starts bringing that in front of your vision, in front of you and offering to you more and more of that so you can begin creating more and more of that in your life. And things shift in synchronistic, beautiful, magical, unpredictable ways. And it’s part of just being on your path. Part of being connected with who you truly are. I don’t want to say they get easier because there will always be challenges in life. But when you have the tools to release the triggers that come up for each of us, that’s just part of being alive on earth. We’ve all been through experiences this lifetime and other lifetimes, releasing the triggers.

Abby (00:21:24) You learn how to do that to create space and freedom inside of you. You learn how to heal your body through things like breath and movement and awareness and intention. Very gentle things that are surprisingly, very, very powerful for healing. As you learn how to listen to your inner wisdom, to access your inner magic and the gifts that are wanting to come through you and be expressed in the world. As you do that, it becomes a different way of experiencing life where, yes, there are challenges, but you get stronger and you have this inner guidance system to help you navigate them. And with that, it’s also not about doing it all alone.

Abby (00:22:13) If I mentioned we’re here to support each other and find your tribe and your community, your people who will support you. For who you are, who will welcome you, you know, where you’re not too much, where what you were. The magic is wanted, where the healing gifts are wanted for those who are ready to receive it, who are ready to talk about it and grow together. That’s a big part of it, too, is having that sense of community where you can come and practice being who you truly are and be celebrated for that and grow together with others who are like you in their way.

Abby (00:22:59) So for me, that was the culmination of seven years of experimenting and trying and failing and trying again and traveling and learning from all of these different, incredible, beautiful beings in different parts of the world, offering gifts in different ways. And with that, I decided my purpose here is to help others awaken to their magic, heal inside of them, and to share their gifts with the world. And so I created a roadmap where over six months we connect through a supportive, accepting, beautiful community of people where you are welcome exactly as you are. And we learn tools, the tools that I found to be the most powerful, direct, clear ways of finding freedom, of connecting with who you are, and sharing your gifts with the world.

Abby (00:23:59) So we learn these tools, this road map back home to yourself, to feeling at home inside of you, where you belong, to remembering who you are and what you came here to do, and to share that with the world. And that’s what I teach in my mentorship program, this six-month journey of coming home to yourself ultimately. If you are feeling that calling in your path at this time, know that you are not alone, that you do have incredible gifts to share. We all do it in our way. They are there inside of you. Everyone comes into the world with their own original medicine, with the gifts that they’ve come here to share.

Abby (00:24:46) And because you have them, you are worthy and you are good enough to share them and to access this part inside of you. And it’s just a matter of the will and some support and guidance to do that, to find your way home and to express who that being is and the way that feels most freeing and joyful to you. So if that’s something that calls to you, my next mentorship is starting in May, and it’s going to be a beautiful class. Each class just feels so magical and each group is so different and beautiful in its way. So it was taught by myself and one of my previous classmates when we were studying shamanic Chinese medicine. Her name is Jeanette Lee, and she teaches Qigong, a Chinese energetic medicine within the mentorship as well.

Abby (00:25:47) So she’s teaching people how to work with their energy field, how to awaken their energy field, how to heal their body through the use of energy work. It’s really beautiful to have her supporting people in the group as well. So if this is something that calls to you, even if you’re not sure, but a part of you feels like this could be a path for me, then I encourage you to reach out to schedule a free discovery, call with myself, and from there you can feel into what this is all about and check inside to see if this is right for you. So sending you, my love. If you have any questions, you can reach me at mindbodyfree.com.

Abby (00:26:37) You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at your mind, body free and wherever you are in your path, in your journey, I’m sending you so much love and I know that you can create you can do whatever it is you’re meant to be doing in this life. All right. Take care. Talk soon.

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Body Awakening

Abby Body awakening
Abby Body Awakening

Body Awakening:
My Journey of Physical Healing

In episode 18, Body Awakening, I share my journey of having developed digestive issues 7 years ago that had been getting progressively worse, to the point of barely being able to stay upright. Here I share my process of healing and what it’s taken to regain energy in my body.

Connect with Abigail:
Instagram @yourmindbodyfree
Facebook @yourmindbodyfree
Mentorship Program

Mentioned in this episode:

Candida Healing
Dave Moss Coach
Chinese Energetic Medicine with Jeanette Lee


 

Mind Body Free Podcast Love

Are you subscribed? If not, there’s a chance you could be missing out on some bonuses and extra show tools.  Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify to be sure you’re in the loop.  

Do you love the show? If so, I’d love it if you left me a review on iTunes. This helps others find the show and get integrative healing support. Simply click here and select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you so much ❤︎

Looking for more support?
Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free Podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss. I am a healer. I’m a mentor and guide. I help people to heal their body, mind, and spirit, connect with their passion and purpose, and share their gifts in this world. And today I am back and back after a little break. So thanks. How’s it going? Nice to see you again. Or nice for you to hear me again. I don’t know.

Abby (00:00:30) Anyway, nice to connect. And I just wanted to share a little bit about where I’ve been lately and my journey and what I’ve been doing to help myself heal. So it’s been busy. I’m running a mentorship and an integrative healing coach training right now, which is a lot of fun, really great groups, and amazing people. And with that, I’ve also been doing a lot of work to heal my body. So I’ve been on this journey of emotional healing for quite some time, and that kind of led me into Peru and Ayahuasca and shamanic Chinese medicine.

Abby (00:01:16) Yeah. So desire and the desire to hear led me to Peru and ayahuasca. And then the desire, the burning desire to find my purpose, to answer this calling this feeling that I need to find something more and what I meant to be doing. So that led me down. Shamanic Chinese medicine, Vipassana meditation, linguistic programming, hypnotherapy, a bunch of other tools for healing and letting go of the blocks, the beliefs, and the patterns between my spirit and reality. I guess I could say it that way. Lifting the veil that’s been installed by my mind and the beliefs within the mind and all of the energies attached to that. So that was the initial journey.

Abby (00:02:08) And then a few years ago, the second time I went down to Peru, I was there for two months and I did end up getting a lot of stomach bugs, you know, food poisoning symptoms. I accidentally one time forgot to rinse my toothbrush, not in the tap water, in the purified water instead. So the one time I didn’t do that, I ended up getting quite sick the next day and coincidentally were also in a very long and powerful witch Uma ceremony. And I had been chosen, along with some of the other facilitators, to be in the ceremony and hold space. And I took that job very seriously and I just sat and meditated and witnessed all of them, the wild streams of consciousness from the group floating around.

Abby (00:03:09) And I just acted as a witness, as light like a candle in the darkness, releasing all the stuff that was coming up, hoping to hold space for the shaman, doing her work. And I think with that there is also some spiritual and energetic stuff I may not have fully navigated as well as I could have. Or, you know, I guess I did navigate to the best of my ability at that time. But knowing what I know now and thinking back, that may have been a factor as well. So anyway, I ended up getting sick and I came home from Peru. My digestion, my gut was off. I was also going through a lot of emotional challenges at that time. I was trying to decide which direction I should go in my life, and it was challenging for myself, for my partner.

Abby (00:04:04) And so there’s a lot of emotional distress, which is also very tied to gut distress. And so there is that. And then I went to India, I think a couple of months later, and I got food poisoning there and got sick again. And the gut distress was even worse. And I was just kind of. My diet consisted mostly of carbs in both Peru and India, kind of plant-based, lots of oats in India, lots of fruit. And so leading lots of sugar, so under a lot of emotional distress and had probably also picked up at least one bug and at least one of those countries. So it was all kind of this breeding ground for, you know, pathogens and co-infections within my digestive system and my gut.

Abby (00:04:58) And I came home and just noticed some different things like, oh, I can’t drink alcohol. And maybe that’s just because I’m more spiritual. Now, sugar seemed to bother me more and I would get more tired. And at first, it was like, okay, I can cope with this. I didn’t think too much of it. But as time went on, as the years went on, it seemed to get worse and worse. And I got to a point a little over a year ago where I just decided I can’t. I need to do something about this because I was so tired. And there’s lots of brain fog and just all kinds of problems with digestion. And I wasn’t able to properly function and had very little motivation in my business. It’s very hard to be motivated when your body’s not working properly.

Abby (00:05:51) And so I decided I needed to do something about it. So I learned about Candida overgrowth, what that is. And I looked into the symptoms of it and I just read like I found some great resources online at candidacleanser.com I can drop on the show notes and there is a lot of education there and a lot of videos. People who had been through this experience kind of shared the science of what’s going on and the stages based on your symptoms. And I just really resonated as true in my body of this is something that I’m going through.

Abby (00:06:28) And I felt so hopeful to have finally found somebody who could give me some answers because I had gone to my Western doctor and all of these uncomfortable tests, and they didn’t find anything wrong with me. But I knew there was something wrong with me. And having found this, I felt, okay, I’m not alone. Other people have been through this, are going through this, but there are a lot of people who have gotten better. And this is an actual serious issue. Some people to some people it can be fatal if not treated properly.

Abby (00:07:04) It was validating the experience I was having in my body and it was helpful to have a plan and how to move forward. And it is challenging or it was challenging for those, especially those first few weeks going on something called a candidate diet, which you starve Candida, which is a yeast that naturally occurs in the body, but under the stress and with too many with the stress, with too many toxins, antibiotics, medications, it can mutate into a fungal form and spread throughout the body, creating something called leaky gut and moving through the tight junctions in the lining of the gut and into the bloodstream.

Abby (00:07:56) And then from there it can migrate to other organs and affect them and could even cause organ failure, which if not treated properly. So part of what is involved in healing that is going on is the Candida diet, and that’s a really important step and that’s a diet that essentially starves the Candida of sugar because that’s what it eats. And so it’s a lot like. The Keto diet minus the dairy, because that also feeds Candida. And minus any processed foods or processes are kind of fake sugars. Because with Candida also comes something called leaky gut, where the digestive system becomes very sensitive because food is passing through the gut lining and into the bloodstream and going to places where it doesn’t belong and creating an inflammatory response.

Abby (00:08:51) So the body develops a lot of food allergies and sensitivities. So you have to move into a Whole Foods diet that is kind of really gentle on the gut for some time as that’s healing. So anyway, as you go into this, I went into this diet and like a lot of people experience, there’s this die-off symptom of the Candida dying as well as the Candida starving. So when Candida was starving, it felt like you were starving and you were furious. And because you just want something carbs and it’s a very emotional experience you can get. So I was getting waves of rage, anxiety, or depression, and these are all very common die-off symptoms.

Abby (00:09:37) But if you didn’t know what was going on, it could be very distressing in a way it is already distressing, but it’s comforting to know that this is a natural and temporary part of the process. So I went through that and I started integrating supplements, antifungals, things that would help to kill off the Candida and at the pace as gradual enough that my body could cleanse it out, my liver could cleanse the toxins from that process out of my system. So it is a very big learning process and in many ways continues to be. And yeah, it was very tiring, like more tiring times.

Abby (00:10:21) The body needs a lot of energy to heal. And I felt worse before I felt better. So as I was going through this experience, I was getting rashes on my skin, I was getting ways where I felt dizzy and had to lie down. I spent as many days as I spent just on the couch lying down, able to do little more than that. And those days gradually started becoming less and less able to walk a little bit. I was able to do a little bit more. I was able to work on my laptop from the couch lying down. I was able to do a little more, and a little more and build my business and work with clients.

Abby (00:11:01) And that to me is so fulfilling and so rewarding and purposeful. So getting to do that, even though my health wasn’t the greatest, it was a light in my life and it continues to be a light in my life doing this work. I love it. And with that I did notice eventually I started to plateau so I would do something that my energy would be such a thin line of having just enough where I would go out and I would do something physically strenuous or like moving house physically and emotionally strenuous, just totally wrecked me and I would be back out. And then being a woman and getting my cycle each month, I would just totally wreck me. And so this went on for months and months and months.

Abby (00:11:51) Fast forward to a couple of months ago. I’ve been on this Candida slash keto diet for almost a year. And if I were to go off of it in any way, I just kind of my body reacts, and I kind of regress. So it got frustrating and I felt like, okay, I’m still tired. A lot of the time. I’ve reached this point where I need more help, I need more support. And at around that same time I said, Hey, the universe, I need help, I have something I need to do that is beyond my awareness right now because I have a lot of skills. I am good at emotional healing, really good at shamanic and spiritual healing.

Abby (00:12:33) I know a lot of things and I’ve done a lot of things, but at the same time was I felt like I was inside of this situation, inside of this body, that I couldn’t just work, that something is going on in the body that I needed to listen to and I need to honor and integrate some kind of practice for healing. So at around this time, one of my previous classmates from a kind of shaman school, we were studying shamanic Chinese medicine and medical qigong together, reached out and said, Hey, I want to help you. I wanted to give you these sessions. I saw your post about Candida. I just feel called to work with you.

Abby (00:13:13) So I thought, wow, thank you. Who is, you know, my friend who was also an angel? How beautiful. So I was working with Janette. You know, once a week for. Well, I was working with Jeannette a little less regularly for several months, and then we started working together once a week for two months. And that was beautiful and powerful. It was like 2 hours every week doing this, this remote energy healing session from her. And then she also gave me these exercises to do on my own, these kinds of specialized qigong exercises. And so I know a lot of qigong exercises that I’ve learned that are helpful and powerful engines that have some other ones that she has studied separately because this is kind of this is her world.

Abby (00:14:03) We’re going to have her on soon and let her speak to it. But she kind of lives and breathes qigong and these kinds of exercises. So she taught me these really powerful, really beautiful ones. And when she first showed them to me, I said, okay, that’s great. Wow, I feel this is amazing. Okay, I’m going to do this. And I didn’t do it because I was tired and I was frustrated and I was just angry with life and it is not easier than it should be. Yada, yada, yada. And so. A few months later, we’re doing this work. She gives me some shorter exercises that are also very powerful and I’m able to do a couple of those.

Abby (00:14:43) And I thought, wow, I notice a big difference when I do that. And I thought I should do this. I think doing this every day will help. And then, of course, I didn’t do it for a long time. And then, I thought, okay, there’s a mental block I need to get over because I think the thing that’s stopping me here is me because I need to do my inner work. I need to do these exercises to move forward. So in my coach training class, we do these sort of recorded demo sessions that the students can listen to to get more examples of how different tools can be used. And I asked my husband, who is a life coach, to demo some of these tools with me to help my coach train students.

Abby (00:15:30) And so he coached me on wanting to and on why I wasn’t building up or doing my practice. So in my morning practice, when I get up, I do a bit of yoga, I do qigong, or at least I do these exercises from Janette. And he coached me on that. And if you want to hear it, let me know. I can record it. I can post it in another episode, so let me know about that. But anyway, he coached me on that. I was able to shed some tears of relief, get over this block, and within like 15 minutes. He’s a great coach. Anyway, after that, I thought I was able to get back to my practice because I had a personal healing practice, you know, on and off throughout my life.

Abby (00:16:16) And I had been neglecting it for quite a while and I knew part of my mind now, like I’m being called, to integrate what I know and with my body and to come home into the body. And so I started doing my practice again after getting coached by Dave the lovely Dave Moss. And I started doing these shorter exercises that Jeanette gave me. And they were so sure there are only about 3 minutes per pose. And I had about, I don’t know, like five of them. And so like 15 minutes.

Abby (00:16:57) And I was doing these exercises. They’re very physical like this. It’s just tendons stretching. So just like one of these, pushing your arms out to the side is stretching your middle finger up to the ceiling as high as you can and really opening up the chest and bringing the shoulders back and down. And you’re just kind of standing there with your arms to the side. But when you went for me, when I’m pushing and stretching my tendons, my whole body starts shaking. I feel all this heat pouring off of me. My hands and arms start tingling.

Abby (00:17:27) This is just a lot going on with these exercises because it’s opening up my energy pathways and it’s releasing blockages. And these are the blockages that are causing me to feel tired, to not digest properly, for my body to not function properly. So there are these blockages that have been accumulating for a very long time. And what I was doing in these exercises is opening up and releasing them. So this is not like if you were to see this process, it’s not a pretty graceful yoga flow. It’s hard, it is a shaky process. I’m often moaning or yelling or, you know, breathing heavily.

Abby (00:18:09) It’s messy. It’s like a little exorcism every time I do it. And after I do it, I feel amazing. And so I just started noticing I have energy. I have more energy than I’ve had in years. I can walk. I feel the power in my hips and my core. And I thought, Oh my God, this is so amazing, so amazing to have this sort of energy in my tank when it felt like my tank was just barely running on fumes for years. Because of this whole Peru-India thing that was like seven years ago. So this is the first thing that has impacted the way I feel in my body.

Abby (00:18:51) So it was motivating to do it more. And I started doing it more. And then when I had Energy Trip, my weekly energy session with Jeanette, she said, Hey, you’re able to pull Chee into your body. Now your things are flowing. It’s so different. And like, I know I’m doing the work you gave me to thank that work. But I needed to get over the mental block and to do the work. But now that I am, I’ve been feeling much better. I just feel so much happier. I’m just so overjoyed to be able to have a body that is not, you know, not perfect. It’s not like working 100%.

Abby (00:19:29) But I’ve got the energy to deal with whatever is going on now because without the energy that everything is too much, just too overwhelming the will to even do anything about it. It’s just not there. But with this energy, I can do it. I can deal with anything. I can overcome anything. So with that, I also felt way better emotionally, just emotionally regulated, because I’m working through these exercises and my liver purifies the blood and also regulates processes, emotions. So now that those channels are flowing properly, things just don’t bother me as much.

Abby (00:20:11) Opening up the heart space, supporting the spleen, which is tied to digestion. So I just have a lot more energy and I’ve been feeling called even do the exercises that Jeanette originally gave me that are longer, but they go deep and integrate those into my practice and just feeling just this deepening connection with my body, deepening, healing, this increasing energy and just this sense of gratitude for life and appreciation for this beautiful world that we’re in. And there are times when I remember feeling this way, too, when I did a lot of qigong when I was studying it in my earlier days.

Abby (00:20:58) Now that I’m getting back into doing a lot more as I feel a big shift, like a shake and I release, I feel a block release, the channel opens up and my eyes open and there’s this sense of vividness and crispness through the way I see through my eyes and this intense sense of presence and connection with my environment and my body. And it feels so different, so vivid, and crystal clear. And it’s like this moment of awakening that I’m experiencing through my body, through doing these exercises. And with that, it’s not even a place where any to write down.

Abby (00:21:40) I work through things in my head or, you know, process. It’s just breathing and moving and feeling and just stretching and just very much doing these exercises where a lot of the whole exercise could be sitting in one place and just doing some gentle arm movements and holding something for quite a while. But it’s moving our energy through my body and this very powerful, incredibly healing way. And I’ve always felt and in my experience, that healing is also awakening these to go hand in hand as we heal and release the blocks of what is untrue, what is painful, what you get on the other side of it is this deeper awareness and a deeper connection with what is true for you with what is free.

Abby (00:22:34) So as I’m releasing these blocks into my body, releasing these blocks from my body, my body is going through or I’m going through an awakening experience within my body. It’s a body awakening if you will. And it’s hard to imagine. It’s something that you need to experience as this sense of aliveness and vividness and clarity and lightness and beauty. And it’s just this connection with my body and with my environment that’s just so profoundly beautiful to experience. And so, yeah, it’s motivating, it’s encouraging. It’s something that my body begins to want to do. Before, when I was tired, it took extra energy to get up and do my dang exercises because I knew it would help.

Abby (00:23:30) I know it would be physical, I would shake a lot. I probably make lots of weird noises, but then I would feel much better for the rest of the day. Now I wake up and I crave it. My body tells me, Hey, I want you to go back and I want you to do that exercise that Jeanette told you showed you a while ago. So I go back and I do it. I feel amazing. I feel more things open up. I go for a walk with my dogs. I feel my alignment in my body is just. The way it’s supposed to be. And it’s just such an incredible thing.

Abby (00:24:04) And now it’s something that I’m kind of seeing as my part-time job while I’m healing the stuff that, you know, this quote-unquote chronic issues that have been here for years, I’m healing it inside of myself. And when things started to shift and it’s been giving me energy treatments for we started last fall. So it’s been a while, I think it was last September. And so she’s been giving me these treatments for some time. It was when I started doing the exercises myself, but she said, Hey, your energy feels way better, things are different.

Abby (00:24:42) And that’s when I noticed things feeling way better and different within my body, within my life. And it was something that shifted where I just decided, All right, I went on a diet. I know I can do hard things. I can just do my exercises even when I don’t feel like it. I can just get up each morning and do it. And if for some reason I miss a morning, I will get up and do it the next day. And it was like that switch was like, I just turned a light switch on where I decided to take an active role in my health and my healing. And instead of being frustrated with life and resentful that it wasn’t easier, that it was, you know, you know, my husband can eat whatever he wants and be fine, but I could sit there being all, you know, my pity party about that.

Abby (00:25:33) I could get up and do something about it. And that’s what I did. And that’s when everything started to change. And I’m so happy to have to be experiencing this, because it is this deeper level of integration, of taking responsibility for my health and my well-being. And with this, I’ve also been doing the emotional pieces of speaking to the issue, the pattern, and the reason for it of clearing entities. I’m a shaman. I do lots of entity clearing, so it’s a thing. It’s okay. Just entities attached to beliefs, you know, just darker energies.

Abby (00:26:13) So what the clearing of that along the way, which is also a dimension of this, but this part that I was missing was the personal practice and doing these really powerful qigong exercises that are targeted to exactly what I need, which, you know, for a lot of women who struggle with digestive issues and menstrual issues, it’s spleen and kidneys and with that liver. So I was doing these exercises. I still am. I probably will be for several more months. But I’m feeling so much better in my life and noticing so many differences in how I feel in my heart and how I, you know, just walk outside.

Abby (00:26:56) I just can’t help but appreciate how beautiful the sky and the trees are and the birds chirping because it’s springtime now and even when it’s cold as fuck is still beautiful in some way. So I’m just that’s where I’ve been. I’m just really grateful. I’m really happy. And I don’t want to say the word hopefully. I am hopeful, but I’m also just really confident that I can continue healing, that I’m moving in that direction. I need to be going in now. And with that, I wanted to mention Jeanette. So she is working in mind-body free now and we’re going to be bringing her in to do an episode soon so you can meet her there.

Abby (00:27:40) But she is going to be offering one on one sessions with people. You’ll be able to book it through the website. She offers amazing distance a.k.a remote energy healing treatments, so they’re focused on Chinese energetic medicine. Jeanette comes from a background of traditional Chinese family where they worked with herbs and diet for healing. And then she’s done so much learning and growth within the world of qigong and Chinese energetic medicine. So she offers this one-on-one session with people and she prescribes personalized exercises that you can do based on what you need.

Abby (00:28:24) And she’s also working in the mentorship program where she’s teaching some Qigong classes within the group there as well, and helping everybody to feel good and healthy in their body. Because a lot of us, you know, have been through stuff in this lifetime and past lifetimes. And part of healing the heart is also healing the body. Healing the body makes it easier to heal the heart, you know, all interconnected. So I’m really happy to be having Janette within the mentorship program as well. We’ve been getting so much great feedback. People have been having so many great questions for her.

Abby (00:29:02) So I am excited for you to all meet her in the next episode. And until then, I hope you are all doing beautifully. I hope that the story gave you some takeaways. I know for me the biggest takeaway from my journey was those few. One was just being open to receive help, to have the humility, to acknowledge that even though I’m skilled at this stuff, I need some help right now. And then being open to receiving that and, and then the shift in taking an active role in my well-being and doing the dang work and getting up each morning and doing the exercises that I know are so incredibly helpful for me.

Abby (00:29:50) So if you are on your journey of healing your body, I want you to know that you’re not alone, that you can heal anything. You’ve got this. You can do this. And if you want to support, you can reach out. You can schedule a free discovery call. I would be happy to support you myself or point you in the direction of someone who can help you heal. So sending you my love, you can reach me at mindbodyfree.com as well as Instagram and Facebook @yourmindbodyfree. And if you like this episode or you find this content useful, I’d love to receive a review from you on iTunes. And if you have any questions for future episodes, just drop them in the comments or send me a message. All right. Have a great day. And you, my love.,

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Nick Loffree: Bioenergetic Health

Nick Loffree Mind Body Free Podcast
Nick Loffree Bioenergetic Health

Nick Lofree: Bioenergetic Health

In episode 17 of the Mind Body Free Podcast, Nick Loffree shares his journey of Bioenergetic Health and how he used meditation, diet, and Qigong to overcome schizophrenia and become the healer he is today.

This episode is for anyone struggling with mental health, looking for ways to heal their body or strengthen their own practice with the powerful yet gentle healing practice of Qigong. Nick has a ton of helpful Qigong videos on his Youtube channel, so go check them out!

Connect with Nick:
nickloffree.com
Instagram: @nickofqi
TikTok: @nickofqi
Youtube: Nick Loffree Bioenergetic Health
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Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss, and today I’m getting to speak with Nick Lafley. Nick helps people attain their ideal mental and physical well-being through a bioenergetic toolkit. His work began with himself when he underwent a spiritual initiation of schizophrenia and subsequent health issues created by medication. He now helps thousands of people through his online courses, videos, and instructor certificates to achieve the same level of seemingly impossible healing. I found Nick through YouTube and one of his qigong videos, which was fantastic, and he’s got a ton of videos on there, so I highly recommend checking out all the notes. The links are going to be in the show notes after the show. So Nick, welcome. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. Yeah. How are you?

Nick (00:00:52) Pretty good. It’s always funny. I never just copy-paste my bio. I like, always rewrite it every time somebody asks me for my bio, so I didn’t have to like surprises every time I had to read back to me. I’m like, Oh, what? I wrote about this site.

Abby (00:01:06) I like that. You’re honest about that. I did the same thing. I feel like it’s like this continuous evolution and how you feel that day and where you’re going and the direction you’re moving.

Nick (00:01:14) I was just assuming whatever ones I wrote in the past just were awful. So.

Abby (00:01:18) Exactly. So just delete all of those. I’ve never existed. So can you tell me a little bit about the work that you do? You mentioned you kind of help people through the bioenergetic toolkit. So what does bioenergetic mean?

Nick (00:01:34) You know, mostly just the way of making cheese sound palatable to Western Western minds, I guess. But it’s also partly a lot of my exploration recently over the last couple of years as being into. How there is a materialist science behind the energy of the body and its very sort of like super well known. So I dug for it for a long time before I found somebody who put forth a complete theory of bioenergy that had practical applications and seemed to be valid.

Nick (00:02:11) A lot of people, you know, people try to Westernize Xi and Chinese medicine and stuff like that a little, you know, they’ll be like, Oh, you know, quantum physics and, you know, quantum physics as these. Really, it’s almost esoteric. It’s so difficult to understand what people are trying and what scientists are trying to say with quantum physics that you can practically take anything they say and extrapolate it to be proof of whatever spiritual thing you’re talking about.

Nick (00:02:35) So I was dissatisfied with most of the westernized versions of theories of XI or things like that until I was just because I’ve been in the world of nutrition a long time and am kind of trying to figure out how to fix myself. I had a lot of physical health problems after my mental health problems because of the medications I took.

Nick (00:02:55) And so I went there, you know, every like dietary philosophy, as you know, did the keto. I did the raw vegan, I did the paleo, I did all of it, you know, every detox you can imagine. And eventually, I stumbled into this weird, weird world of a guy named Raymond Peat. And he’s a biologist. He’s like 85 years old now, so he’s been teaching about this stuff for a long time. But he, instead of coming into medicine from the, you know, a medical school or like a nutrition school, he came to it straight out of like just pure science, right? And so he’d been saying biophysics and biochemistry and everything.

Nick (00:03:32) And he was just very getting dissatisfied with the status quo that he was seeing in science and then was noticing medicine was doing a lot of weird stuff based on that. And so he built on the work of a few old scientists who are dead now, like Otto Warburg and on Sell You, Dr. Britta Barnes, who’d been, you know, all inadvertently working in their worlds, coming up with these theories of how energy and energy flow is what runs the body. And so Ray took these ideas and built them into something more practical, like, how would you eat if you wanted to follow this?

Nick (00:04:07) What supplements would you take if you believe this about the human body? And so instead of like what’s usually the way the human body is looked at is very like structural, mechanistic, mechanistic. And that’s typically the criticism that we have when we’re coming from the Chinese medicine land and we look at the Western medicine lens and it’s like, you guys just see everything is like a car.

Nick (00:04:26) You know, these little moving parts and particles and everything. And in, you know, in physics, they would say, like, you know, there’s we can look at the same particle like a photon and it can be a particle or a wave, depending on how you look at it, right? But most of medicine and biology are still on the kind of particle part of biology, I guess, and how we view the body. And so these guys are sort of getting more into the wave of how to view the body.

Nick (00:04:52) So instead of just structure its energy and structure and how these two inform each other, the energy maintains the structure. The structure produces the energy. And as I started learning from this guy’s method, I just kept realizing more and more like he’s just describing Chinese medicine, having never come across Chinese medicine as well. Maybe kind of give him a chance. Like he was saying a lot of weird things that I was like, the ZOE. This is true. Like, he thought serotonin was a stress chemical. It wasn’t a happiness chemical.

Nick (00:05:21) He thought it was like a bit of a conspiracy on the part of the pharmaceutical companies. They just needed a new thing to blame for depression so they could patent another drug for 20 years, you know? So they came in and around the same time, people, it was in the 60s. People were using LSD and psilocybin and stuff, and those block the serotonin receptors. And so he thinks that it was a kind of collaboration. The government wanted to make serotonin look good because LSD made serotonin look kind of bad enough. So. So they got the heir to the drug companies.

Nick (00:05:55) The antidepressants they were using at the time are a bit of a tangent, but the presence there isn’t at the time. We’re MAOI inhibitors, the same thing that you take when you take ayahuasca, the DMT drug. Mm-hmm. You have to take an MAOI and MAO inhibitor to have the DMT stay in your system. And that was the original antidepressants up until the 1960s, where they were taking that half of EOSIO basically as a pill to cure depression.

Nick (00:06:24) But in the 1960s, the patent ran out, and so they wouldn’t be making any money off it anymore because all the generic brands would take it over. So they needed a whole new theory of what causes depression so that they could sell a new drug, and they came out with this deficient serotonin theory anyway. So this guy, this guy thinks this is much better so serotonin can cause a lot of mental health problems. And I thought that was crazy and the only reason I gave any.

Nick (00:06:48) A chance is because his underlying theory was just Western Chinese medicine. And so his other theory was this just like what my teacher says and qigong when your stress lowers energy production. Like we tend to think in the West, like, Oh, stress is good for me. It makes me productive, right? I’d be so useless if I didn’t have my stress pushing me all the time. But eases your stress as a backup system.

Nick (00:07:11) You don’t want your stress being your main motivational sort of drive. That’s like your backup system. That’s why we wind up getting cancer and things like that. It’s not natural for the body to be having stress as a source of energy all the time. And so he thinks when the stress is low, you have higher energy and better quality energy. And when the energy’s high, you have lower stress. And he explains this all in terms of hormones and everything. But he’s essentially saying the same thing I’ve heard for years and years of qigong in Chinese medicine and everything.

Nick (00:07:40) So I gave him a chance with the serotonin thing and did a bunch of stuff, he said to lower my serotonin. And I got to say, like, it has a huge benefit on my mental health. I can track like, Oh, I stopped doing those Serotonin lowering things and now start to get a little depressed or to get a little more anxious than I usually am. And it’s just amazing how the mainstream can just be flipped on its head, and it can be the opposite for something we’ve been doing for 50 years.

Nick (00:08:04) And it can work. Wow. Did you have a question? I remember what your question was. Oh yeah. Why do I call myself bioenergetic? It’s because that’s the name for like, this school of thought is like the bioenergetic theory of health. And so I thought I would apply that to qigong and stuff.

Abby (00:08:20) It was a loaded question. That’s so interesting. And as someone who has done ayahuasca and still uses psilocybin, I find it helps my mental health quite a bit with ayahuasca. Definitely. I don’t know the chemical. I don’t have an experience of chemical serotonin exploration and lowering not to create happiness, but I want to. It’s kind of interesting how you mentioned, you know, we use more energy when we are stressed. I wonder if the serotonin release is a response to that stress and what you’re doing by lowering it is also affecting the cause of why your body feels the need to release it. I don’t know. I’m just exploring, but I think it’s fascinating.

Nick (00:09:02) Yeah. Here’s a really weird fact: you know where locusts come from. You know, the swarm is like a swarm of locusts, right, like in the Bible and stuff.

Abby (00:09:13) Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.

Nick (00:09:14) His locusts are just grasshoppers. And it’s just when grasshoppers get super stressed because they don’t have food in their environment or things like that, then they transform into locusts instead of being serious instead of being peaceful, solitary grasshoppers. They swarm together. They form a mob and they go, go, and riot, and they physically transform. They get the gross spikes. They look more aggressive. They act more aggressively. They become cannon.

Abby (00:09:39) It’s like something that’s in an animal movie, but it’s real.

Nick (00:09:42) And the chemical that drives their transformation from grasshopper to locust is Serotonin.

Abby (00:09:47) That’s so interesting. I love that one species will transform like that. I get the term for it. But I know, like Candida, it’s a yeast that’s like, you know, harmless yeast and a balance. But then with stress and, you know, toxins and the wrong environment, it transforms itself into a fungus and then spreads throughout the body. So it’s so interesting that stress is always the factor, the contributing factor.

Abby (00:10:11) So, yeah, that’s so interesting, huh? Well, it makes sense that, you know, a plague of quote-unquote a plague of locusts if there are not great things happening in that time. Of all, these grasshoppers are getting stressed and starting a swarm every yeah

Nick (00:10:25) And eating at each other and stuff.

Abby (00:10:27) Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, that sounds very fitting in the Bible story. Yeah. All right. So you went on quite this journey and you went on a big mental health journey. So it sounds like you integrate a lot of these lessons into yourself. Oh yeah. And seeing experientially what worked and what didn’t work? Yep.

Nick (00:10:46) It felt like an unknown. And what is that uncharted and trail or whatever? You know, as I was like, I’m like, I’m like seven, like seventeen. And I have psychosis and the doctors are just like, Oh, just take these pills. And I’m like, Is there anything else I should do? And they’re like, No, no, just the pill. Yeah. Like, I’m like, Have you heard of meditation? I just heard about the meditation things that I do out of there, like, worry about it, just take the pills.

Abby (00:11:11) And it’s sad. It’s such a loss for the ability to help people with this kind of thing. It’s interesting. Like in the shamanic perspective, mental illness and schizophrenia especially would be seen as a healer trying to be born where you’re accessing kind of these different dimensions and perceptions and states of being that are in like a really low frequency and you have this innate gift to perceive this stuff. But there’s a lot of healing that needs to happen to clear away that darkness and make it feel like a gift and not a burden.

Nick (00:11:43) Yeah, I was really lucky. I had read a book on shamanism like right before or right as if I was going into psychosis or something. So I kind of had that mental frame, like already kind of made for me, and I have a word for that. I think it would be a lot harder to get through because you think about it just as something you’re fighting instead of something you’re integrating or surrendering into like that. Yeah, yeah.

Abby (00:12:05) You’re not broken and you’re just going through an initiation. As you said, when you’re yeah,

Nick (00:12:09) I think that’s part of it. Yeah, when I was able to relax and because a big part of it was just constant paranoia. So it was like the hallucination part and delusion part. But then it’s just like it’s paranoid and full of fear all the time. And when I was able to let go of the paranoia and fear part, the hallucination delusion part would sort of instead of being like all this crazy stuff, my mind was trying to convince me that it became like holy visions as I would.

Nick (00:12:35) I knew nothing. I knew nothing about Hinduism, but for whatever reason, I was having visions of, like Hindu gods all the time. If I could relax like my chocolate open and these gods would come to visit me, they wouldn’t say anything. It’s just ignored. There’s like this visual art. Almost that was like reshaping my energy body or something like that. Amazing. I kind of miss it now because I know, I know that a little too much with the medication. Oh, and now I’m like, Oh, I wish I could just relax at night and hang out with gods and stuff.

00:13:05
Abby: Oh well, I can help you with that. We can talk about that, OK? I had a friend or not a friend. She’s a friend now, but I had a student I worked with for a year and she had schizophrenia, and she grew up as early as she can remember seeing demons all around her. And just like Tara, terrifying. And so we did a lot of healing on the trauma and like the layers of trauma as there is, there’s a lot to release and as we release it layer by layer, she started seeing angels and she started seeing the demons as these misguided energies and learning how to work with them and healing energies. Incredibly powerful healer.

Abby (00:13:39) It’s been amazing to watch her grow into herself and realize this, but I feel like I also have an uncle with schizophrenia, and it didn’t go that direction because he didn’t have anyone to support him in that journey. You have this intuition and this will move into this stuff, which is beautiful. I feel like if more people have the right support, we have a lot more healers in the world than like, you know, people who are still being tormented by this stuff.

Nick (00:14:04) Yeah, I agree. Yeah, this is funny. I think it’s a funny thing in the West. Swear. You know, our history in Europe is like the church and the scientists were like they hated each other, right? Because the church was like, we not only do we own spiritual truth, we are objective truth, right?

Abby (00:14:22) They want to do whatever.

Nick (00:14:23
Nick: They like to overstep their bounds with their like field of expertise. And so the people who are trying to discover objective truth in the physical world were totally at odds with them. And so we’ve developed a culture, you know, hundreds of years later, we’re still in this culture where, you know, if you’re a scientist, if you’re a psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever like, you’re expected to think a certain way, like demons aren’t real. Angels aren’t real. Psychic abilities aren’t real.

Nick (00:14:48) Like anybody who thinks these things have to be delusional, like, I’m sure some people are just like hallucinating, but probably a lot of people are hallucinating. But I think there’s a lot of this like in my experience with what I went through. I don’t know how much you know about my story, but I had real experiences of supernatural phenomena. And you tell the psychiatrist about that, and I wasn’t integrating it well. I was super paranoid.

Nick (00:15:09) So they go to a psychiatrist and there’s like, oh, supernatural phenomena, schizophrenic. Like, you’re just crazy. And it’s like, Yeah, I’m like trying to do experiments with them and everything like, let’s see if this is real. And they have no patience for that at all.

Abby (00:15:22) Yeah, because it’s not aligned with the belief system, right? It’s like it’s been against the popular ideology. And I’m popular. It was illegal to explore that stuff.

Nick (00:15:32) Is that what it was?

Abby (00:15:34) Well, I mean, back in like the pagan Christian colonialism, I mean, it was illegal to practice other forms of spirituality and kind of commune with spirits. Yeah. And then eventually became just going to be demonized in the media. And oh, it’s not real. It’s all false. And then there’s like you mentioned, that materialist perspective of this is what’s real, only what we can measure.

Nick (00:15:56) Yeah, they’re like the new church itself. It’s so funny. Yeah. So this always happens like a group that’s persecuted. And then finally they win the day and now they’re the most powerful group. And then there’s persecution, you know, it was just so ridiculous like that

Abby (00:16:10) We’ll find balance someday, I think. Yeah, perspective is good, and I like what you’re doing. your kind of bridging these two worlds of science and energy in Chinese medicine, which China is and I think can seem like it can appear as a kind of woo and like, what? What are you talking about? Like, I know when we were taught, they told us that, you know, Western medicine sees the body like a machine, which can be useful sometimes. Like, if I break my arm great, I will happily go see Western Doctor.

Abby (00:16:36) Chinese medicine sees the body like a garden. So we have to pluck the weeds. We have to balance the elements and the nutrients and plant good seeds. And it’s such a different, totally different paradigm, a way of seeing things and working through things

Nick (00:16:49) Uses a lot of metaphors and the west. I think the Western mind is so literal when you hear the metaphor like, oh, dampness or, you know, damp heat or things like that. And we’re talking about blood in Chinese medicine, we don’t always mean blood, you know, it’s like this kind of blood, you know, like spiritual blood. Go to that man. So in the western mind is that they think they’re like, really hearing like, oh, there’s dampness. Like, there’s like a build-up of fluid somewhere.

Nick (00:17:12) Well, sometimes we mean that, but sometimes it’s like, this thing is like, it’s like, it’s like the Chinese are separate, like metaphor and literal like literal reality and a lot of the ways they talk really. Chinese medicine Typekit. So it was very confusing to the Western mind. So we just classify it as we were, you know?

Abby (00:17:30) Yeah. I think it’s more like that soft kind of flowing abstract concept, a way of seeing things which I love personally. But I can see it also being infuriating if you’re used to being able to, like, clearly define things. So if you were struggling with these mental health issues when you were 17, which is early on, I mean, not uncommon as a teenager, but that’s tough. What was it like moving through that?

Nick (00:17:58) Is Just kind of terrifying all the time. For the most part. And then and then really amazing at some points like, as I mentioned, it’s kind of spiritual, energetic experiences. But for the most part, yeah, just mostly just sucked all the time. And then and then the medication sucked almost as bad as it did suck as bad. So it was worth taking. I guess it felt worth taking at the time, but it’s just like the opposite problem with you. I went from, like, in a psychotic state. It was like I was like, everything was so open energetically. It was like, as all boundaries.

Nick (00:18:31) I dissolved, and that just was terrifying. And then the pills are like the opposite. I got numb and I got fat and I got just full of mucus and skin inflammation and pimples. And just like the total opposite problem. Instead of being super anxious and fearful all the time, it’s like, I’m depressed and brain fog all the time. So, yeah, mostly it was just super lame, but gradually over the years, like learning different things, getting into meditation and yoga and nutrition and qigong. And I wouldn’t have put so much effort into those things and gotten as much out of them if I hadn’t been in so much pain.

Nick (00:19:09) So the first tool I tried to implement was meditation. A friend of mine had gotten me a book on Buddhist meditation while I was in the mental hospital. So I read that in the hospital and then when I got out, I practiced every day and it was kind of like it wasn’t an instructional book. It is a fictional story, I believe the Buddha said of his actual story of attaining enlightenment. I think it was like a fictional version that was meant to read like a novel. But in this version, he gains enlightenment by sitting next to a river and just listening to the sound of the river.

Nick (00:19:40) And that was like the thing he focused on was just that sound. And that was like a meditation technique. And so I was like, Well, that’s the only way to meditate. So I’ll do that. So I went to this river near my parent’s house like every day for literally three or four hours every day. And like me now, never do that way too uncomfortable. I’ll do that for like a week. I’ll do that for a retreat. But I do this for like six months straight and I’ll sit on these like uncomfortable rocks in a very uncomfortable body. I hadn’t done yoga or anything yet, so my body doesn’t like sitting like that and stuff.

Nick (00:20:12) And I’ll just force my mind like over and over and onto the sound of the river. And I got nothing out of it, nothing out of it. For six months, I didn’t feel more relaxed. And if it were peaceful or spiritual, nothing until like finally, what like on the six months or whatever, I’m sitting there and I put my mind on the river and it finally actually stays. It doesn’t wander off. It doesn’t go and listen to whatever voices are in my head. If you think meditating is tiring with just your voice in your head, you just try it with a whole bunch of voices in your head. But I finally got my mind to stay on this river, and I don’t even think it was that long. It was like 30 seconds, maybe a minute top where my mind was just dead silent, just hearing the river.

Nick (00:20:51) And I think about it is, I guess, my conscious mind because my conscious mind was so empty of thought at that moment. My unconscious was able to come out. And so all like the inner conflict I had, I was sort of driving the psychosis, the fearful part of the psychosis, basically just everything I hated about myself. I have low self-esteem, social anxiety, and stuff growing up. So it’s just like everything in me that I hated came out as one archetype like a mask of a demon, just like displaying and like vivid, horrifying detail like this is everything you hate about yourself.

Nick (00:21:26) But instead of seeing it as a mask of someone else, it was just like, This is you. And believing it for a split second and that fear like, oh no. And then the mask comes off and I’m looking at it as what it was. It was just a mask. And underneath that, seeing who I am, someone a kid worthy of love and worthy blah blah blah. And then I just basically cried for like 20 minutes of just snot pouring out of me into this river. And I’d like to say, Oh, after that moment, like I was healed of the psychosis was God.

Nick (00:22:00) Not at all. It was just like, it was like, you know, one percent of the burden is lifted and just a little glimpse into like, Oh, I because I had a feeling when I was going through it that a lot of this psychosis was driven by my insecurity. At times, I got bullied by things like that. And then I had this like unconscious trauma in me, and that the psychosis wasn’t just random because all my friends were doing all the same drugs and all the crap I was doing and they were psychotic.

Nick (00:22:25) So I figure there’s probably something in me that needs to come out in that kind of verify form for me want to had that experience, but I suppose my point to your question was I would probably not have pushed myself that hard for that long to get that if I wasn’t in such an immense amount of pain with no other options. So for that and that way, I’m grateful for it.

Abby (00:22:45) 100%. I mean, that’s what I think of so many people’s stories that start with pain and that’s a motivator, because why else would we bother to do the work? It’s work. You want it. I’m impressed that you did that for six months, not feel like you were getting anywhere but kept going back. That takes a lot of faith. Yeah, I don’t know why I do.

Nick (00:23:02) I think I just really trust the Buddhists because before, before I went psychotic, I’d been using psychedelic drugs and having amazing experiences on them and experiencing, you know, like the non-self and all the things that the Buddhists preach about enlightenment and then going without having read their text.

Nick (00:23:22) I experienced that first and then went and kind of got into Buddhism when I was reading their stuff and I’m like, Oh, well, this is exactly like what I experienced, so these guys must be on to something. And so I think because of that sort of thing, I had a lot of trust in what they had to say about how the mind works and stuff.

Abby (00:23:36) So a good friend, give me that book. Maybe he’s down. You get what you need when you need it when you’re ready for it, I guess. Yeah. Wow. OK. And so after that, how did you start getting into this by your energetic healing and qigong in Chinese medicine? Yeah.

Nick (00:23:52) So again, very similar. So I had been doing these psychedelic drugs, and I was experiencing like the chakras or the energy centers or the Dentons, basically exactly as they were laid out in those eastern classics I was experiencing on psychedelics before I was psychotic. And then while I was psychotic when I was just kind of permanently, it was like a lot of psychedelics. And when I relax, I would have these chakras and things open.

Nick (00:24:20) And so I was experiencing those oftentimes before I’d read anything about them and they went all the way up to like 22. Was like five years later, I was still having these experiences. I would come out of meditation or things like that, and then I’d go read a book and be like, Oh my gosh, this is exactly what they said. What happened? So it was sort of happening to me, and that’s what got me interested in the chakras. And then I was reading about yoga, and then my mom was getting into yoga and she’s like, You just come to a yoga class.

Nick (00:24:44) I thought I would get it. And I went to a yoga class and fell in love with it because that was the first physical thing. I’d been introduced to it before. That hadn’t occurred to me whatsoever that anything physical would affect my mind. Not diet, not movement, not sweating, not anything. I just thought, Oh, the mind fixes the mind, so I’m going to meditate like that. The mind thing and I have a mental problem. But when I did my first yoga class, I was like, Oh my gosh, this is the first time I’ve been relaxed and like, two years, where do I get more or less?

Nick (00:25:10) So I got, like, instantly addicted to yoga, like real physicals, like power, yoga, like, you know, use your muscles to move, your body goes up and you know, you can feel how doing the practice opens up the body’s energy. And so I just kept that curiosity going. And it gosh, it was like four years of this, four years of like meditation and yoga before I realized, Oh, I wonder what I’m eating has any effect on my brain or anything like that? I don’t put it together at all. I was eating fast food three meals a day for four years while being a practicing Buddhist meditator and like a serious yoga practice.

Abby (00:25:46) Kudos to you. Feel that a lot of focus on the mind of being through that.

Nick (00:25:52) Utterly Mcdonald and KFC and everything every day. And I think it was like, literally, I like reconnecting with an old friend and he’s like, Have you heard of this acid-alkaline thing? And I was like, What does that mean? And I started reading, I was like, Oh my gosh. Like, I never even connected the dots at all that like my skin problems like eczema, like mental health problems. All this stuff can have anything to do with what I was eating. Looking back, it’s like, I have no idea how that was not even on my radar at all. Isn’t that weird to not connect that at all?

Abby (00:26:22) Maybe you’re just like one at a time, you know, just like really chose the path of like, I’m going to figure this out one at a time.

Nick (00:26:29) I just didn’t even occur to. Meaning that it can be possible, and I still get surprised to this day. I like I’ll post on TikTok. Something about our diet can affect depression or this or that. I constantly get somebody in my comments who is so mad at me that I would suggest such a thing. They think I’m like, just some kind of quack, like trying to lead people off their medications, or I never tell people to quit their medicine.

Nick (00:26:52) I think I just give suggestions for other stuff they could do alongside it. People are constantly like, you’re going to trick people into thinking, if they kill, they’re going to be able to go off their meds. And then my words here is that

Abby (00:27:04) There are a lot of triggers in the world, like if someone’s in pain and it can be easy to want to point fingers. There’s a really good audiobook I listen to. You have to remember the name of it, but a psychiatrist and a chef, and she’s it’s all about the gut-brain connection. Is it

Nick (00:27:19)  Kelly Brogan?

Abby (00:27:20) Kelly Brophy? Indians are probably not, but I mean, that’s good. There are many books on this topic because they should be so huge. Yeah. You know, she talks to you about how you can’t. If you have had a mental condition for a long time, likely, there’s also something going on in the gut, and you can’t treat one without treating the other like you need to look at them holistically. And I’ve noticed that on my health journey, like if I eat the wrong thing, my body is very responsive. It gives me a lot of feedback. Within minutes, I know with my mood, if I if it was right or not, I have the same

Nick (00:27:52) Blessing and a curs

Abby (00:27:53) Sensitive. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It’s like you just you. There’s not a lot of wiggle room to keep messing up, if you know better to keep listening to that motivating force, right? With the psychedelics being a part of your journey, it’s found that like personally, when I did ayahuasca, it was incredible and transformative. And then coming back and trying to integrate that was just a shit storm, and it was a matter of like, OK, what are all the tools? What did everyone do before? Like the yoga qigong, the meditation? It’s kind of like standing back on your power, learning how to get back to the place you met, which plants showed you by being able to do it on your own?

Nick (00:28:33) I think a lot of people get lost where they just keep going back to the plants back, back, back, back and they never, they built, get some discipline in their life to kind of integrate and implement the stuff they learned and all get a lot of lost souls.

Abby (00:28:46) It’s true. Yeah, you know, it can be really powerful with the right additional support and the will and knowing that we’re not powerless to start doing this stuff. You can feel like you’re at a loss when you just look at what Western medicine says. And you know, a food diet has nothing to do with mental health like it can feel disheartening. Like, like, there’s no hope for you until you start trying things and believing that it’s possible to heal, which you seem to have no problem doing. So how did you get into doing that qigong?

Nick (00:29:20) She gave us a funny story. I was cleaning toilets at a gym for a job, and there there’s an inspiring moment. You know the chop-chop wood carries water, I guess. But I was like, I was halfway through my yoga teacher training. It was like a split up over a year, and I’m just trying to make money while I’m going through it. And there’s an acupuncturist slash bongos on the teacher, so like a Chinese martial artist who was at the gym operating out of there. And he’s like, Oh, if you love yoga, like, I bet you’re going to love qigong. And he sent me a YouTube video of this guy named Li. Hold on to him from the qigong world.

Abby (00:29:58) I don’t know, I’m OK.

Nick (00:29:59) I was going to say he’s the most famous name in Chicago, but maybe not. Yeah, he got famous because this DVD has gone on to PBS television for it. So it’s not anymore because it’s exercise stuff isn’t a thing anymore, but it was on PBS and all over the country for a while. But anyway, it seems like a little seven-minute qigong routine of just like, really gentle, like flowing slow-motion exercises that you link with your breath also very slow.

Nick (00:30:26) And I tried it, and I just couldn’t believe like how like just seven minutes of that made me feel so, so relaxed, like I’ve been doing a long time of yoga and meditation and things like that, and I’m like, Wow, that is the quickest path I have ever taken to being super relaxed and no anxiety. And I went to bed after that and my whole body just felt like it was made of cotton. And, at the time, I had this giant walk on the bottom of my foot. It was enormous, super deep. And I had it for like four years, and I went to the doctors over and over again to cut it off, like frozen off.

Nick (00:30:59) They burned it off, medicated it, and just kept coming back. And as I’m lying there in bed, I’m like, I wonder if I can make this work. Go away with this cottony energy I’m feeling. I just kept sending my breath and my attention. And eventually, this energy starts going to my foot or those waters, and my foot just starts kind of buzzing with that energy. And I kind of fall asleep while I’m doing this. But when I wake up, this word is not only gone, it’s so gone. It looked like it was never there, like the skin on the bottom, I flipped over. I like completely regrown and I never came back and

Abby (00:31:30) That’s miraculous.

Nick (00:31:32) But I later learned from Dr. Andrew Weil, who’s that, you know, have these kinds of famous for? He’s a real M.D., but he kind of makes his fame off of talking about, you know, holistic stuff and Mind-Body Medicine. He said that the number one illness that tends to respond best to mind medicine, like healing something with your awareness or a placebo or attention or visualization is warts. I have no idea why, but it says that’s like the most responsive illness that now

Abby (00:32:00) So physical. I know. Yeah, that’s great evidence. Aside from feeling fantastic, here’s some materialist evidence you change something on your body overnight.

Nick (00:32:11) So I was hooked just because it felt so good. And also, I’ve always been like a big, nature guy. So I love that, you know, all the movements are like a bear swims in the ocean and like the creams spreads its feathers, stuff like that. So I thought it was cool. So I got into it and I was just finishing up my yoga teacher training. So when I went back, I had to teach an exam, like teaching a little class to the classes, like part of graduating. And so I brought in some of those qigong moves into it and everybody loved it.

Nick (00:32:40) And so I was like, Oh, this is cool. And then when I got back from the yoga teacher training, I’d overstretched a whole bunch of my connective tissues. So like while I was going through the second half of this training, like every forward fold I did felt like someone was just sighing off my hamstrings and

Abby (00:32:57) I’ve been there. Yeah. So it’s hard at the training center.

Nick (00:33:00) It’s a lot of yoga to do all at once. It’s like you’re doing four hours of intense yoga.

Abby (00:33:05) That’s too much for the body.

Nick (00:33:07) It’s too much to kind of pack it all in like that, I think. But also, you know, I a good teacher and he’s like, like the main thing he was trying to teach this whole time was like, you know, listen to your body, listen to the instructions, listen to your body, like, take a break if you need to get to listen to all because I’m like twenty-two and I’m like the only guy in a room full of like twenty-five beautiful women. And I’m like, I don’t want to be the guy sitting out like I was. I’m trying to show off.

Nick (00:33:32) I just kept pushing through it, even though I felt like I was just getting ligaments sawed off. And by the time I finished the training, I’m like, Man, it hurts every time I do yoga. So I go to physical therapy and the physical therapist is like, Move me around. Like, Does this hurt? Am I hurt? I’m like, No, he’s like, You don’t have any pain. I’m like, Well, I just have pain when I do yoga. So can you fix that? And he’s like, Oh, how about you just don’t do yoga for a while? And I was like, I just could. I just literally dropped out of college and spent the tuition money, my last tuition money for college on a yoga teacher training.

Nick (00:34:01) Like, I invested everything in this thing and now I couldn’t even do yoga, let alone teach it. And I had some classes lined up to teach. And so instead of bailing on them, I was like, Well, for whatever reason, I can’t do yoga, but I can do qigong. Even the stretching parts of qigong I could do without the pain because it’s just like this different style of stretching that involves fluid movement while you’re stretching and stuff for a reason that didn’t aggravate things. So I just started teaching. I called a Chinese yoga class, and that way I could sort out those classes if people aren’t too disciplined.

Abby (00:34:32) Yeah, it’s amazing how much can happen with such a gentle approach. Something I love about qigong is that it is so gentle like all ages, all abilities. You can do it sitting down. You can do it lying down. Do it in your mind. Yeah, it all helps make me think of a situation where, you know, even though yoga is good for you, you do push it to a point and create stress. It starts becoming bad for you. But I’ve never found that with qigong, where it’s gotten to a point where it creates stress as I’m moving through a block and then I feel amazing a few minutes later.

Nick (00:35:04) But yeah, the only bad side effect. I’ve got another qigong or a couple sometimes that can aggravate the knees. A few misaligned things. It’s actually like 10 tennis elbow or a golfer’s elbow. You get qigong and tai chi me. That’s usually from just kind of standing the wrong way and stuff. And the other one is more energetic. We’re like. Comes from using too much mental effort while you’re doing qigong, so a lot of people get obsessed with it, visualizing part of it.

Nick (00:35:32) It’s like there are all these cool generalizations. Imagine this like going here that like going there and oh, you’re in a mountain and now there are birds. And so they get hooked on this idea that like, I’m going to control the tree with my mind, you know? Mm hmMm-hmm, what they don’t realize is, what they often do is like, let’s say you’re trying to move the chair to your lower abdomen. Well, if all the effort is coming from your head, from your mind, trying to direct the cheek that she’s going to go to your head to give energy to that mental effort.

Nick (00:36:02) And so I would add this period for like a year. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I’d be doing qigong. I thought it was doing everything right. But at the end of practice, I’d have all this pressure in my head and give me brain fog, and I’d wind up getting really angry and easily irritable, and I couldn’t sleep. And I was like, What’s going on? What happened to qigong practice? Eventually, I learned that trying to force things too much mentally?

Abby (00:36:25) Do you find it because you teach qigong? Do you find that happens a lot with your students? Is that a common thing as Western people make thinkers?

Nick (00:36:33) It happens a lot in the qigong world, but not really with my students because I discourage it.

Abby (00:36:39) That’s good. So how did you go from that to what you’re doing now? Like, how did you feel called to start sharing this with people?

Nick (00:36:48) I just kind of know it all. I think I learn new things. I just want to tell everybody so I can either tell all my friends and family and annoy them and knock it. I’m not getting paid and they’re just being annoyed all the time because they want to listen to me. Or I could find people who want to hear what I have to say, and they want to give me money. And that’s everybody’s happy. So.

Abby (00:37:07) So fulfilling. Hey, I’ve been there also,

Nick (00:37:10) You know, desire to help the world, blah blah blah. I have to.

Abby (00:37:14) Yeah, it all kind of goes together, right? Whatever motivation. And did you ever find that like, I mean, for you? It doesn’t. I mean, for me, anyway, I found, as I’ve been on this kind of shamanic healing path and with qigong, there’s like this little part of the back of my mind that’s like, you can’t remember, like for you. You did. But like for me, if I had a word on my toe, my mom would be like, You need to go get some sort of hard chemicals to put on that thing because energy is not going to move that look. Look how dense and physical that matter is. Do you find that that’s something that you ever had to overcome? Or do you find that in your students of moving through that sense of doubt, they can come up?

Nick (00:37:54). Students, I think I’ve got a weird personality trait where when somebody, when somebody says something is impossible, it makes me like, just want to do it more.

Abby (00:38:05) So that’s a good trait.

Nick (00:38:08) So I feel like that’s helped me a lot. But I do. I ran into it not a ton with students. I have all kinds of students so actually there’s always something they believe to an extent, you know, and then it’s like, Oh, well, you can’t do anything about that with nutrition, you know, it’s like. Oh, now that I have cancer, I’m going to stop coming to chew gum in class because I need to go to chemo all the time and it’s like, Well, why don’t you do both? I say, Well, cancer’s too serious for qigong, so there’s not that kind of stuff that happens with COVID.

Nick (00:38:42) It happened a lot, you know, just people just don’t want to hear. And even people who have been doing qigong for ages, really want to hear like that. It’s like qigong could be helpful or there are dietary things that could be helpful because they’re in my class for maybe an hour or a couple of times a week. But then they’re watching the news like, you know, six hours a week. And so it’s just you’re kind of competing, you’re competing with a lot. You know, everything I teach, I always try to be like, you know, like, I don’t want to take full responsibility for you dying of cancer or something.

Nick (00:39:12) I’m not going to tell you to stop doing chemo or something like I’m going to pretend I know everything about, like how chemo works or how effective it is. But I know that like, other stuff also helps. And so when it comes to mental health, especially like I always try to be like, like, I’m not going to be the one to tell you to stop taking your meds, work with your doctor. If you feel like, you know, doing qigong or fixing your diet or something has given you a little more foundation where you feel a little more stable and you want to think of talk about weaning off your meds, like go to your doctor and talk to them about weaning off the meds.

Nick (00:39:44) Tell them you feel more stable. You don’t have to tell them why, because you tell them it’s qigong. They’re going to think it’s a bunch of B.S. and they all do whatever you’re selling them, you’re so much more stable. You want to experiment, you want to work with them more than they’re usually like, happy to help you out with that. But I never want to be the guy to tell people, don’t do this or don’t do that. But people, people do have a lot of limitations where they like, Oh, like, what does food have to do with your brain?

Nick (00:40:07) Your brain’s obviously in a capsule, outside your body, on another planet, somewhere in everything you eat. It’s not like it goes into your bloodstream and affects your brain and builds your brain and builds all the chemicals in your brain.

Abby (00:40:20) Not at all like that? No.

Nick (00:40:21) So I was always kind of funny running into people’s closed minds about that.

Abby (00:40:25) So I think it’s I mean, it sounds like you’ve got a grounded approach where you understand a lot of the scientists who have this sort of a blend of sounds like western and eastern medicine. So you can kind of speak to it. What’s actually from that material’s perspective, but also speak to that deeper, energetic layer, what needs to happen? I feel like if you can say, OK, here’s what’s happening to your brain right now and explain it in a way that is very relatable to what we’re used to hearing from scientists and doctors but also can add the other dimension.

Abby (00:40:56) I feel like that can open up worlds for people. For me, I’m very much like, I’m too abstract like I feel and experience that way. I’m not an encyclopedia of facts, so if people want that, I’m just like, You got to go see somebody else help you with that. But it’s really helpful for kind of opening up minds to the possibility of this being something that does things.

Nick (00:41:18) Yeah. Have you heard of them? There’s a French woman, a shaman named Karrine, something like a Mongolian. She trained in Mongolian shamanism.

Abby (00:41:28) I need to look into more people, and I’ve not heard of most people. But tell me about her.

Nick (00:41:34) Oh, this is well known. But yeah, she was a Frenchwoman. I think she was. I had heard what she was studying. She was an anthropologist or something, and she went to do her Ph.D. by living with the shamans in Mongolia and studying them. And as soon as she got there, as soon as she went to her first ceremony and as soon as the shaman started hitting the drum, she fell onto the floor, having seizures, and went into a shamanic trance. So the shamans were like, You’re not here to study here to become a shaman, just say no.

Nick (00:42:03) And so they trained her for like eight years or something. And when she came back, she had all this scientific training. And so she wanted to kind of bridge the gap. And she wound up taking a bunch of shamans from Mongolia and a bunch of schizophrenics from France and putting them in MRI machines to scan their brains while they’re in a shamanic trance or having a psychotic break. And when she showed these scans to neuroscientists, they couldn’t tell the difference between the brain of a schizophrenic patient and the brain of a shaman in a trance.

Abby (00:42:35) I think that’s amazing, but it also doesn’t surprise me.

Nick (00:42:38) It doesn’t surprise me at all.

Abby (00:42:39)
Abby: That’s so fascinating. What’s this woman’s name?

Nick (00:42:41) So I know her first name is Corrine C.O.R., and if you take like Corrine, Mongolian French shaman,

Abby (00:42:49) Or yeah, I’ll see if I can find her. That’s so fascinating. And any kind of lines up to it like that shamanic view of mental illness, being a healer, trying to be born like if your mind open and you have this ability to sense what’s going on around you, it’s like, OK, let’s just clear the lens through which you’re seeing it. Is it through pain, trauma and darkness, and attachments to that or fear? Or is it through the light that you are and the light around you and you know, the experiences of those past stories?

Nick (00:43:21) I think Joseph Campbell,

Abby (00:43:23) Have you heard of just, Oh yeah, yeah, that is one of her. We’ve followed this account.

Nick (00:43:29) You probably know what it is, the schizophrenic or maybe the psychotic? I remember what he says, but the psychotic or schizophrenic drowns in the same water that the shaman or the mystic?

Abby (00:43:40) I have. I have read that that’s a beautiful quote and encapsulates what we’ve been talking about. So well, I think. So if there are people out there who are struggling with their mental health, what would you want them to know?

Nick (00:43:53) It’s going to be hard. It’s going to take a long time. It’s going to take you people listening less time than it took me, excuse me. It was like 10 years before I really felt like I’m going to have, like pretty much overcome the stuff I can live a normal life quotation marks. But it’s going to take you guys less time because you found people like us here. It’s kind of like going through a lot of this and helping a lot of people. I spent a long time there. I was just reading books, lots of DVDs.

Nick (00:44:22) I never really talked to anybody who knew what they’re talking about for the first, probably like six years of going through this, I was just doing it all on my own. The people I like. You were like psychiatrists, so make use of it if you can get like. If you can talk one on one with somebody, you should really because it can, it’s just really going to take you a lot further, a lot quicker than trying to do it on your own, especially when you’re suffering from mental health problems. What’s wrong is that your mind isn’t working optimally, so trying to figure everything out on your own can take even longer because, you know, it’s a little harder to use your intuition and use your own guidance.

Nick (00:45:04) And it’s just nice to just have a team of support and people that can help you out on maybe on both sides of the East-West divide. And yes, that’s going to level up quickly. It’s not something that I can tell you to do. The action was like, Oh, eat this diet or do this, you’re going to find what works for you like. So just one thing I’ll say is that a big thing that’s in like the Daoist like Chinese medicine world, like a perspective on healing, like one lens that they’ll sometimes look through is if there’s something wrong with your mind, focus on healing your body and if something wrong with your body, focus on healing your mind and spirit. And it doesn’t always have to look like that, but sometimes that’s just a little easier.

Nick (00:45:51) Way to go about it is, you know, your mind’s having all this trouble. So really leaning on your mind’s abilities for your healing can sometimes be not as reliable, right? Going to your body, doing yoga and eating better and taking herbs and things like that can sometimes be a little. You can get a lot more of a foothold there. And then once you have that little more foundation of your body supporting your mind, bring in more mental stuff, spiritual stuff, things like that can be very useful and beautiful.

Abby (00:46:19) I like that perspective, too, like, OK, my mind’s not working great, but I’ve still got this body. How can I use that to help this part? That’s not running? Often we’ll jump in. All right, I’m going to jump into the painful part and navigate stuff within that spine. And especially to try and do it by yourself. Yeah, that is hard. Yeah, I’m a huge believer in having a team of support. It’s helped me so much in my life and I will probably work with other healers, guides and coaches for the rest of my life as well as you, the Chinese medicine, doctors of the body and, the Western medicine doctors for, you know, a handful of things. But yeah, yeah,

Nick (00:46:55) Having a lot of spiritual healing just comes from the feeling of being supported by family, even despite the advice they gave you. Yeah. For me, getting like my qigong teacher became like my number one mentor throughout. Still, to this point in my life is like my number one mentor, and I was like that filled in a huge, like healing gap in me. I had a very cold, distant father who, you know, I didn’t ever experience like, like warm, loving, supportive energy from a man. And when I got that from my qigong teacher, it filled a hole in my heart. And that was I felt like a big part of my healing process besides him just teaching me cool stuff.

Abby (00:47:32) Yeah, that’s beautiful. So much of that is just getting that nourishment that we need, you know, coming into the world with love, acceptance, belonging, community. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn’t have to come from your parents or political climate.

Nick (00:47:48)  Yeah. Yeah, there are studies on that. A lot of people will talk about how, you know, having homes without fathers present can be bad, especially for young boys growing up. But if you were kind of looking into the data, it’s actual communities without fathers. So it doesn’t matter that much if your home specifically has a father. But if the community does not like nurturing, supportive, protective, caring men who will just play the father role regardless of their biological status with you or whatever, that has the same positive effects.

Abby (00:48:19) That’s so interesting and so good to know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, amazing. Such social creatures. Are. Yeah. So for people wanting to work with you, how would they go about doing that? What kind of stuff do you do with people?

Nick (00:48:34)  Yeah. So the easiest way to jump in with me is just to go to YouTube. I got tons of qigong routines, and a lot of them are like themes towards something you might be going through. So like, you know, checking for anxiety, to account for depression, to for neck pain, low back pain, all kinds of stuff like that. So that’s the easiest way to jump in and see if you know my kind of style of movement and breath and everything. Therapy is helpful for you. And then if you want to work with me one on one, if you go to my website, there’s a coaching tab or something like that there. So you can go one on one there.

Nick (00:49:09) And then, yeah, that yeah, I post lots of advice and stuff on TikTok and Instagram and things like that. Just follow me there and see what kind of stuff I like. Oh, I forgot. That’s the relevant thing and everything. We just. I just took an E-course called the seven-day reset. And it’s kind of putting together a lot of the tools. I just talked about some nutrition stuff and qigong, and it’s just kind of all it’s meant to be done is like a seven-day thing. You just try it for a week and just see if you feel better.

Nick (00:49:37) Does this particular diet philosophy that I’m advocating in this particular movement and breath philosophy I’m advocating work for your particular system. I’m sure it doesn’t work for everybody, but you just give it a try for seven days. Most people are not going to kill you. And so if you feel better, then you might want to keep exploring that sort of philosophy. If not, you move on, but it’s only like 20 bucks. So that’s amazing. I think I gave it to you for the show. Note the link should be there.

Abby (00:50:01) Yeah, yeah. I’ll include all the links in the show notes. I’m so glad that you’re offering that because as someone who comes from very much like the deep spiritual abstract world, that’s my zone of genius. And I saw that you’re doing all this stuff like this is perfect, so I won’t go and do stuff that is going to help you tremendously and will help you with all kinds of other work.

Nick (00:50:18) To make an e-course in the future together, maybe one to two wings on that bird?

Abby (00:50:23) Yeah. That’ll be great as well. Thank you Nick to do what you’re doing and we’ll talk soon

Nick (00:50:31) Awesome. Thanks for having me. Yeah.

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Boundaries

Boundaries

On episode 16 of the Mind Body Free Podcast, we explore from an energetic perspective, what happens when we’ve had our boundaries violated. We also go on a guided journey of healing your boundaries so you can feel strong and secure within your own space.

This episode is for anyone who’s experienced a little “t” or big “T” trauma where they felt they didn’t have claim over their own space and body. It’s also anyone who sometimes gets overwhelmed by the energy of the people and places around them. The Boundaries journey will guide you through letting go of painful past experiences, healing and reinforcing your personal boundaries, and how to claim your space even in the most uncomfortable of situations.

Connect with Abigail:
Instagram @yourmindbodyfree
Facebook @yourmindbodyfree
Mentorship Program


 

Mind Body Free Podcast Love

Are you subscribed? If not, there’s a chance you could be missing out on some bonuses and extra show tools.  Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify to be sure you’re in the loop.  

Do you love the show? If so, I’d love it if you left me a review on iTunes. This helps others find the show and get integrative healing support. Simply click here and select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you so much ❤︎

Looking for more support?
Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.



Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello and welcome to the Mind Body Free podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss, and today I’m going to guide you through a journey of feeling strong, impenetrable boundaries so as paths, as highly sensitive people. It’s very common to take on other people’s emotions, the energy around us, and that can get overwhelming, really quick.

Abby (00:00:27) So when we think about boundaries, the times when we want to kind of recoil into ourselves, when things feel overwhelming, if we’re in an uncomfortable setting or we’re in a large public space, I like to use the analogy of stepping into Costco and just wanting to shrink into a small creature because the energy can feel overwhelming.

Abby (00:00:51) But what we want to do is not draw into ourselves, because if you can imagine that becomes a kind of like a vortex that we pull energy into us and it can exacerbate that overwhelming feeling. What we want to do instead is expand our energy out, become very expansive. And in doing so, we push away other energy that we don’t want in our feelings like everybody else’s stuff, and we radiate light, bright energy of our own.

Abby (00:01:25 ) And it may initially feel counterintuitive to do that, to expand out when you’re in an uncomfortable situation, but it truly is quite helpful. So we work with feeling our energy expand and also filling ourselves up. So filling up from the energy of the Earth and the energy of the heavens above and calling light to ourselves and feeling ourselves become expansive.

Abby 00:01:53) So it’s a practice, and this meditation is going to gently guide you through this inner experience of connecting with the energy around you, with the energy of the Earth and expanding your energy out. And as you do this, you may notice that people respond to you differently when you are feeling radiant, radiant, and full of life.

Abby (00:02:19) And you also may notice yourself responding differently and not feeling the urge to recoil, but feeling strong within yourself, which is what boundaries are all about feeling strong within yourself. And most of us do not have great boundaries because of how we grew up. So as children, we can’t always get our way, and I often feel like we’re forced to do things that don’t feel right for us and that can feel like a violation of our boundaries.

Abby 00:02:53) So you could consider that a small T trauma like being forced to eat food when we’re not hungry or being forced to hug someone we don’t want to hug or being forced to leave an experience that we want to stay in. Not having that control of ourselves in our own body, we don’t have a lot of control when we’re young, and that feeling of powerlessness can stay with us as we get older. Until we let that feeling go from our energy, from our beliefs, and our nervous system.

Abby (00:03:31) So there’s also the big trauma, which is any kind of physical violation, sexual or otherwise. So if you’ve been beaten up as a child in school, if you were sexually violated in some way at each point of your life, that is a larger boundary violation. And when something like that happens to us, you can imagine it creates a crack in your boundary. So you imagine your boundaries like an energetic bubble around you.

Abby (00:04:02) That is your space. It’s like that bubble has gotten a crack in it, and the space that’s yours has become compromised. So your sense of boundaries and understanding other people’s boundaries can be challenging because your sense of me and you mine and there’s my space there, space has been violated. And so when that happens, we want to repair the crack in that boundary, why we want to release any energy that has gotten in there that doesn’t belong to you.

Abby (00:04:40) And in doing so, you will become stronger and better protected in your sense of self. So when someone else can sense that you have strong boundaries, they are much less likely to mess with you. And when others sense that you? Have strong boundaries, those with good intentions feel at ease around you, it helps them to remember their boundaries as you remember yours and ultimately helps you to feel more at home in your skin and your own space.

Abby (00:05:16) So boundaries is a big topic that we could do several episodes on. But what I want for you is to have this meditation that I’m going to walk you through that is going to set you up for success. That is a powerful practice and cleansing experience to release any energy in your bubble that does not belong there and to repair any cracks that have been made throughout your life. All right. So this journey incorporates hypnotherapy that helps you access a deeply relaxed state so you don’t want to do this while you’re driving.

Abby (00:05:59) You want to give yourself a space to just relax and sink into it for the most powerful and healing effects. So without further ado, just sit back, relax and enjoy the journey in creating your own strong, impenetrable boundaries. So I want you just to take some breaths now and come into this space and this moment in time. This is right here right now in your body at this moment. And then.

Abby (00:06:38) Opening your eyes and looking up as high as you can, just with your eyes and taking in a breath and letting it out good and breathing it again. And let it down. No more time breathing in. And this time on your exhale, keep your eyes up and lower your eyelids down. The good feeling that fluttering sensation in your eyelids so that you act as a very healing trance state and allowing your eyes to relax now and go into a comfortable position, healing the muscles around your eyes, growing soft and relaxed, feeling your eyelids are heavy and it’s just so comfortable to allow them to stay closed.

00:07:28
Abby: And with her looking down, feeling in your body, imagining that you’re looking down over a set of stairs and you can see 10 steps below you as I count you down, you’re going to see, feel, and hear your foot treading each step. And as you move on to step 10, you can feel all the muscles in your hand. Relax space between your eyebrows, soften and relax. You drift down two steps, nine and eight, you feel your shoulders turn loose and relax.

Abby (00:08:05) All the muscles in your arms, chest back in Valley, just turn loose and relax. And you go on any of seven and six feeling your hips, sinking deeper and relaxing. Moving on to step five, you’re halfway down feeling every muscle turned loose, let loose, looming on a for feeling your whole nervous system, relax and turn loose now. He drifts down two steps, three and two, just feeling yourself, allowing yourself to drift, float and move into a powerful healing awareness of yourself.

Abby (00:08:53) Moving on to step one and going 10 times deeper. 20 times deeper. A hundred times deeper, this drifts deeper. Flow deeper. Sink even further into a powerful healing awareness of yourself, and every sound that you hear brings you deeper. And the sound of my voice brings you deeper and deeper and deeper into a healing awareness of your soul. And see Sense feel some white or gold online pouring down from above and melting in the top of your head, melting into your brain and releasing anything your brain has holding that is not aligned with your truth, releasing any untrue thoughts, beliefs, or patterns and habits.

Abby (00:09:51) I think that like going into your pineal gland and your eyes, helping you to deeply perceive the truth of what is clearing away, any fog, any confusion, anything untrue or staticky. And feeling that light melting down into the ears and opening up, unblocking anything that had been held in the ears that did not belong. Moving on into the throat and just opening the throat and feeling that sense of easy and creative expression from your heart and your true self.

Abby (00:10:28) And feeling that late melting down into their shoulder is releasing anything their shoulders had been carrying the poorest down into the arms and the lungs, feeling yourself and breathing that light into your lungs, feeling it, melting into all your organs, your heart, your liver, your gallbladder, your stomach, your spleen, your kidneys, your small intestine, your large intestine. Yeah, good feeling that light melting down into your hips, melting down your legs, into your knees, and down into your ankles and feet.

Abby (00:11:12) I had a feeling some tree roots coming from you and going into the Earth and going deeper and deeper and plugging in with the core of Mother Earth now. Feeling that pulsing energy, that heartbeat of the Earth, feeling yourself, sinking out with that now. And feeling Mother Earth and some energy up your tree roots. Up your legs, he left filling up behind your belly button. Overflowing up into the center of your chest, your heart center, you feel that light radiating out into your whole body, filling your bones, your blood, your muscles, and connective tissues, and the lining of myofascial around your body, feeling your skin, hair, and nails.

Abby (00:12:05) I’m feeling the light radiate out three feet off your body, filling your whole emotional feeling releasing anything heavy or intense or stuck out of your emotional field now and feeling that light expanding out into your whole spiritual field. Six feet off the body. My feelings. Any thoughts, any unsupportive thoughts or energies external from you just releasing and melting away into that light now? Could be a lot like filling the whole room, you’re in a home building, you’re in. A whole city. The whole country. And the whole planet.

Abby (00:12:55) You’re feeling wrapped in a bubble of light, really supported and connected from above and below. And so. When you walk into a space or you’re in an environment that feels uncomfortable, the tendency can be to shrink the energy down, and really what’s needed is to expand your energy. And I want you just to practice feeling this now, feeling an energy coming up from the Earth, up to your legs and radiating out like a smile, shining off your chest and arms and face and head.

Abby (00:13:35) Just noticing you just imagining yourself in your mind’s eye, walking into a space where there’s a lot of people, a lot of energy and just feeling this energy coming up from the Earth, filling you and radiating out like a warm smile, imagining yourself, noticing your posture and your shoulders going back. Are you standing taller feeling perhaps a smile on your face? Just noticing yourself walking about the space with your energy radiating out like this, this feeling flows through you easily and lightly and just not as others respond to you differently now that your energy is so bright and expansive.

Abby (00:14:23) So. Yeah. Good, so allowing this now to be a habit, creating this habit every time you walk into a space or encounter in an environment where in the past you used to shrink, you now allow your energy to expand and outward feel your energy radiate. And fill the room, fill yourself, fill your whole body, your whole emotional, and your whole spiritual body with this bright light smile radiating out from you. Because indeed, doing this is a powerful, protective boundary as you radiate light and warmth out.

Abby (00:15:18) No energy can interfere with that. This indeed is protection. And ironically, it’s when you feel your energy that it doesn’t need to be protected as when you really, truly feel this expansiveness of feeling imagining yourself walking through this space with your head held up your shoulders back, feeling the lightness and the warmth of this, the confidence.

Abby (00:15:53) It’s allowing physiology to adapt to this move in this way, more and more each day to allow us to become natural for you as you do just practicing meaning throughout your day, moving through your walk, simply sitting where you are practicing this feeling more and more, allowing it to become more and more of your natural flow, your natural state each day and every time you listen to this recording, it reminds you and me tunes you into this and you listen to this recording often to create the habit of being in the flow, being upright, confident and bright.

Abby (00:16:41) And you do this. You listen to this recording more and more. You notice it becomes more and more a part of you. It’s healing this confidence, this lightness. You notice more and more differences in how those around you are responding to you as you show up with this powerful bright energy within you and moving through you, supporting you and protecting you. Just allowing yourself to be in the energy of power, of strength, of lightness, of a smile, knowing that this is who you truly are. The powerful being connected to all that is simply allowing yourself to find that alignment more and more each day.

Abby (00:17:35) And as you do, you will notice even greater and greater ease as you move through life and experience those around you reacting differently to thoughts and feelings that you convey while you’re in this vibrant, expansive, light state. Knowing that your energy, your thoughts, your emotions on the electromagnetic field, others around you can sense and feel the thoughts you think of yourself, of the thoughts that others will often think of you too. As you walk into spaces and around others reminding yourself that you are loved, you are love, that you are connected, deeply connected with the Earth and the heavens above, and with your own heart and truth.

Abby (00:18:32) And feeling that smile and expansiveness coming from you. Noticing more and more how beautiful their responses are when others witnessed this and you. And another layer of your boundaries is knowing your truth. So feeling in the very core of you now your wisdom, your integrity, his feeling that as a light expanding out from the very center of you like a white light, getting brighter and brighter, it’s the knowingness of simply a part of you allowing that knowingness to grow to illuminate you around that feeling compassion for yourself. Healing that compassion and love for yourself surrounding them, bright light, filling your whole body.

Abby (00:19:33)This is another layer of your boundary that radiates outright from you. Adding this layer naturally, easily knowing that connecting with the light supports this and this creates a connection with the light. Feeling your connection from heaven, from Earth, and your true self. You are having an experience of life. You are aware and you choose how you respond to life. Make a choice now if you wish to respond from this place, self-compassion of integrity, feeling deeply connected and supported by the universe where Mother Earth is.

Abby (00:20:32) By the heavens. Good. And this is allowing this light to penetrate the cells of your body and your whole being, your physical body, your emotional body, your spiritual body. Citing a blessing of light into your past and blessing of light into your future. Knowing that all is divinely guided and you are perfectly in the flow, really aligned with the core of who you are and as you align with this, moving through life is joyful, beautiful, playful. So allowing yourself to live in joy, beauty, and play.

Abby (00:21:26) It’s allowing for a powerful impression of these experiences and these true concepts to stay with you, to continue guiding you and nourishing you. And imagining now a bubble of light around, you know, a bubble of light is your boundaries feeling it? Six feet out from you are even further out. Bad thing, all of you. And imagine seeing if there’s anywhere that those boundaries have been cracked. This sends them filling with light. Now. Seeing them be impaired, seeing lines of light coming in and crossing over and just healing and repairing all of those cracks now with your strong, powerful force field, with your boundaries, knowing that you are a strong, powerful being.

Abby (00:22:26) I feel a sense of knowing where you and others begin. And claiming all of you. And taking radical ownership for all of you knowing that you are powerful, you choose your thoughts and actions and beliefs with awareness. And what others do is their responsibility. Look, you never know the true thoughts and reasons for others’ behavior. What you can do. He understands that what you do is your responsibility. Take radical ownership for yourself, knowing that you are powerful, free, and innocent.

Abby (00:23:20) And living with strong, impenetrable boundaries, feeling the force field around you filled with light, feeling it reinforced with lines of light horizontal and vertical crossing over each other. Feeling light, connecting you from above and from below and from your true self. You are a powerful force. You are free. You are filled with light and made of light. Feeling your profound connection with your true self and the alignment of the light that you are. Knowing that no one else can truly take from you. Nothing can be truly taken from you. Because you have sovereignty over yourself. And how you see your life.

Abby (00:24:27) And choosing the stories that are powering that are freeing to you. Knowing that you are worthy of happiness and joy and peace. Happiness and joy and peace come freely to you and you live in alignment with your true self. Now. And imagining a set of stairs in front of you now with five steps. As you place your foot on step five, you feel aligned, you feel in your truth, you feel free. Moving on to step four, feeling the powerful truth of these experiences and concepts within you, supporting you nourishing and reinforcing your strong, impenetrable boundaries.

Abby (00:25:18) I mean, honest up to feeling healed, feeling grounded, and deeply connected. Moving on or someone feeling fully in your body, feeling your fingertips and your toes, feeling here or feeling present, feeling free and good, taking in a deep, beautiful breath. And opening your eyes.

Abby (00:25:50) Thank you so much for listening, I hope you enjoyed this meditation, this guided journey on healing your boundaries, on having powerful, strong, impenetrable boundaries. I hope it brings you a lot of peace and healing wherever you may go next. And if you enjoyed this journey, I encourage you to subscribe and review Apple Podcasts. It helps to help other people find this healing work. And if you’d like to learn more about the work

Abby (00:26:25) I do and go deeper into your healing journey, you can find me on mindbodyfree.com and learn about my mentorship programs at mindbodyfree.com/mentorship. Their six-month journey of healing and awakening within a sacred group and community.

Abby (00:26:45) And if you have any requests for future episodes or feedback from this one, you can reach out to me on Facebook and Instagram @yourmindbodyfree. So thank you so much for listening. Sending you my love and talk soon.

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The Healing Framework

08 The healing framework abby
08 abby healing framework

The Healing Framework

In the Healing Framework, I share with you my approach to working with body, mind and spirit to shift energy, release blocks and bring in peace and freedom. I encourage you to participate as you listen so you can experience your own shifts as we go!

Looking for more support?
Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here

 


 

Mind Body Free Podcast Love

Are you subscribed? If not, there’s a chance you could be missing out on some bonuses and extra show tools.  Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Spotify to be sure you’re in the loop.  

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00) Hello, and welcome to the Mind Body Free podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I’m a healer coach and mentor. I help people gain the tools, confidence, and clarity to heal themselves, to remember their deeper purpose, and share their gifts with the world. And Today. I want to talk to you about a framework between mind, body, and spirit, and one that I use to move through challenges, to understand kind of the matrix.

Abby (00:00:33) That makes up me or how I experienced life in this world and how I can work with that matrix. If you will, to let go of anything that isn’t serving me and to bring in healing and peace. And this is kind of the approach that I use for my inner journey of healing, as well as what I help others to learn and create freedom in their lives with.

Abby (00:01:00) So I have a lot of things I want to cover today. But I’m going to kind of break it down one by one. So I want to open up the concept of the mind, body, and spirit. So the body, as we know is an energy circuit, energy flows throughout the body. And with that, our body is also responding to our external environment and our internal world.

Abby (00:01:29) So it’s responding to our thoughts, our emotions, our beliefs, and as we do that, as we give meaning to the experiences that we have. Because it’s not any, it’s not the event or an experience that can cause something to be painful or joyful. It’s the meaning that we assigned to it. So if we assign meaning to that, or if we were told that something is bad or wrong, then when we experience it, we’ll feel shame.

Abby (00:02:01) We’ll feel discomfort because, at that moment, we’ve made about our wrongs through the belief that we picked up from somebody else. As an example, but the event itself, without any meaning that we give it without agreeing to any meaning that others have given it, it’s simply an experience. There are sensations, there are emotions.

Abby (00:02:25) There was your breath. And then the rest is what you decided to be. And the beauty is that you can decide to be anything at any time. So if you’ve believed something in the past that has left pain in your body, you can change the meaning that you’ve given to that. And in doing so change your whole reality.

Abby (00:02:48) So thoughts are, and beliefs are kind of a big deal and. When we have a thought or a belief that is not in alignment for us, that is untrue for us. Your body is going to try to reject it. Just as if you had a thorn in your side, your body will create pain and inflammation. It would do what it can to try to get your attention and try to get that out of your system.

Abby (00:03:19) And it’s the same thing with thoughts and beliefs. And by the way, beliefs are just thoughts that we give power to. By agreeing with them. So if you have a belief somewhere that you picked up when you were younger, that said you aren’t worthy, you don’t belong, or you’re not lovable. Those are painful beliefs because they’re not in alignment with your true nature, because just you being here, breathing, being alive, existing, being energy, being consciousness.

Abby (00:03:56) You are worthy of that. And to argue with that, to think you’re not worthy as arguing with existence and I, that might be a losing battle. So your body is going to try to reject things like that. And it’s going to do that through anxiety, depression, physical pain, chronic pain, illness, or disease. Unchecked for too long, it can progress to things like that.

Abby (00:04:28) So it starts as emotion, anger, sadness, grief, agitation, and then, you know, if left for too long, it can turn into those more physical manifestations. And so part of healing, these things that show up these symptoms, you know, anger, grief, pain, depression, anxiety. It’s about going in and releasing. What’s been trapped in the body.

Abby (00:04:58) That is a foreign object. What’s been trapped. That’s been poisoning the body and we do that by going back and by looking at, okay, what beliefs did I form when this thing happened? What did I believe about myself? What are, what beliefs have men hanging out there in the background causing us pain in my body, causing this discomfort

Abby (00:05:27) and with that there are emotions. So emotions are responses to the thoughts that we think. So you could think right now about a memory about any memory that felt joyful to you. One of the best things, just letting it appear in your mind, or you can simply think of joy and just think of the energy of joy and just call that in just for the sake of feeling it.

Abby (00:05:53) And then you’re going to feel a lightness, maybe an expansiveness. However, you feel that your body is unique to you, but it is your thought that welcomes that into your body. That welcomes the experience of joy into you. And it may also simply be a presence. And may also simply be a lack of thought that can bring joy.

Abby (00:06:22) Maybe joy is already a part of your nature. And as you shed the layers of thought and distraction, you simply reconnect with the essence of joy that is always latent inside of you.

Abby (00:06:39) And so, as we learn to harness the power of the mind, we learn how to point our attention into the places we want it to be instead of where we don’t want it to be because it’s not uncommon for the mind to obsess about what is causing it pain. And this can be kind of a mechanism of trying to heal that the mind can get caught in a loop.

Abby (00:07:05) A loop of feeling not good enough of feeling betrayed, abandoned, hurt in some way of feeling scared. And the mind can begin to obsess about thoughts about past experiences, about, um, distracting or addictive habits to numb the pain of that thought. So the mind can kind of spiral and get caught in thought loops.

Abby (00:07:35) And when that happens, it can feel overwhelming. Anxiety can kick in and the breath kind of pauses. So we can hold our breath quite a bit without realizing it. When we go deep into thought or emotion,

Abby (00:07:53) we can also hold the fullness of our breath for years. So we can stop breathing deeply and deep, deep breathing is kind of breathing into the diaphragm. It’s deep belly breathing. It’s allowing your belly to naturally expand as you inhale and collapse as you exhale. And so most people too, I’ve worked with don’t breathe deeply into their belly

Abby (00:08:22) the majority of the time. And I have gone through large periods of not breathing deeply into my body. And when we get caught in overwhelm or anxiety or living in our mind, then when we realize that the mind may try to think its way out of overthinking, we can kind of get in this thought loop of battling with ourselves, with the mind.

Abby (00:08:46) Yelling at itself is too quiet and that doesn’t help either. Then that becomes another part of this. We’re still not in the place we need to be, which is grounded deeply into the body. And so what we need to do to break that cycle comes into the breath. You need to breathe deep into your belly as you inhale

Abby (00:09:09) and allow your belly to collapse as you exhale. And as you continue breathing this way, it will naturally quiet the mind. It may have some sides kind of on the back burner and the distance that’s okay. Just be, keep returning to the breath. Just keep pointing the focus back to the breath. It will calm the nervous system.

Abby (00:09:35) And it will reactivate the flow of energy in your body because the body is an energy circuit and we, when we get lost in painful thoughts or emotions, or when painful thoughts and emotions get trapped in the body from experience that hasn’t yet been processed, we can hold our breath. And when we hold our breath, it stops the flow of energy in the.

Abby (00:09:59) And the energy and the body wants to always be flowing. It’s a circuit. It’s like water. You imagine rivers that are flowing. The water moves. It’s being nourished. It’s being cleaned. He gets if you go and you see, and it’s all stagnant and got some scum and stuff growing on the top, that’s not a healthy body of water to drink.

Abby (00:10:20) So you want the currents of energy flowing through us to be healthy, to move debris out, to keep us clean and nourished and well, and the breath moves that the breath will reactivate that current of energy that got caught that got paused or held back through a painful experience through painful thoughts and emotions.

Abby (00:10:47) Now with this, when you reactivate that current of energy, it also means moving the things that have been stuck, moving the debris that caused the flow of energy in your body to stop moving. And so that is the painful emotions and thoughts. And so you may or may not notice them, but when you breathe deeply into your belly over time, you may feel the emotion coming up.

Abby (00:11:13) You may have memories of something that wasn’t fully processed big or small as that emotion comes up. And that is just fine. That’s a good side. Well, what we want to do is to witness that and let it move through us to not hold on to that, to not identify as those thoughts at that moment and let them completely overwhelm us, because then we grab onto that and we create that loop, the thought loop in the mind, and we reactivate more painful emotions and we don’t need to do that.

Abby (00:11:49) So most emotions will move through you in a couple of minutes. And all you have to do is breathe and let yourself feel it and let yourself see the thoughts and with our breath, as we do this, we’re cultivating awareness. And as we cultivate awareness, it’s a form of presence to form a feeling in the body.

Abby (00:12:13) It’s a form of grounding into the body and allowing thoughts to be there, but not believing that we are all in that we are those thoughts. So it’s creating a space between you as the observer, as the consciousness, experiencing life, and the thoughts that appear in your mind. And as you create that space between you and those thoughts, you gain the freedom to let them go, the freedom to choose the ones that feel in alignment in your body, in your life, and to release the ones that have been painful or limiting.

Abby (00:12:51) So the breath is a powerful, powerful tool, and it may be very simple, maybe so simple. The mind would almost overlook it. The minor, I think it needs a very complex and complicated system to sort out its predicament, but step one is the foundation of breath. As you breathe deeply, it activates the current of energy in the body and gets energy flowing and moving as energy gets flowing and moving through the body.

Abby (00:13:29) Releases old emotions. It releases old memories, old things that have not been fully processed. And the process of releasing them is perhaps feeling the heat rising, perhaps feeling tears appear in your eyes. If you do this for long enough, perhaps thinking of something, having a realization. Remembering to understand something in a new way, or perhaps it’s a memory that doesn’t feel good.

Abby (00:14:03) I thought that didn’t feel good. And as it appears, you continue breathing and you realize it’s temporary. It is passing through you through the experience of you witnessing it. So you keep breathing

Abby (00:14:21) and that breath keep flowing. The breath, the energy, and the body keep moving. And it pumps that out of your system, perhaps you feel tingling in different places of your body. Perhaps you feel more sensation deep into your belly.

Abby (00:14:42) This is an awareness coming in as the deeper mind-body connection. This is the mind. You’re conscious of your consciousness, your conscious awareness grounding more deeply into the body and in doing so reactivating a liveliness in the body as we breathe.

Abby (00:15:06) And sighing is great. Sighing is a nice release. That’s so good for the heart. As you saw the heartless. The heart releases, anxiety overwhelm brings you back into the presence of feeling more centered. So the breath has the profound power of alchemy of transforming your system of releasing untrue thoughts, painful emotions of activating.

Abby (00:15:43) Your circuit of energy that flows through you. And as you do that, you begin healing physical problems because physical illness is where energy stopped flowing in the body. And when energy stops flowing, the part of the body is not able to be nourished or cleaned properly.

Abby (00:16:07) So we allow ourselves to breathe and to feel whatever comes up. So the body can come back into wholeness with that consciousness, with the energy that we are made of

Abby (00:16:24) the breath is a powerful, simple tool that you have with you. It is what you need as you come into this world and you leave this world with the final breath. It is where your spirit meets your body. And it is the circuit, the pump, which flows a circuit of energy through your body. And as you turn that switch back on, it also means being willing to feel emotions and in feeling the emotions you are releasing them.

Abby (00:17:00) That is the process of letting go of any tears that were not allowed to be shed is by allowing them to be shed. And no emotion can break. You are stronger than any emotion than any experience

Abby (00:17:21) because it’s all in the past. All emotions we hold onto are from the past, you’ve already survived it. Now it’s simply a matter of allowing it to be processed so that you can feel fully alive and. With the wholeness of who you are, your body, mind, and spirit, and the breath is a form of reunion with your body, mind, and spirit.

Abby (00:17:52) Yeah. And so as we come back into reunion with ourselves, you may feel a pulsing of energy flowing, a tingling. And if there are places where you haven’t been able to feel that have been numb for some time feeling it, you might feel temporary physical pain or emotion. And this is a process of thawing out.

Abby (00:18:19) So if you have lived in colder climates as I do in Canada, you may have been out for too long, in the cold without mitts on or. We’re hands are your toes get cold. They may have gotten to a point of being cold, then painful, and then numb. You can’t feel them anymore at all. And the other side of that, when you go back into warmth when you get inside, you might feel a tingling, and then depending on how cold you got, it might hurt you, your nerves might be just reacting to it.

Abby (00:18:51) The shifting from feeling so-called to coming back into the warmth. And this process of throwing out can involve some temporary pain, but it’s simply a process of transitioning back into a healthy state. And this is kind of the healing journey. We go into the discomfort and we breathe through it and we release that, which has not been serving you the emotions that have been trapped in the body, the untrue beliefs that are not in alignment with your natural, expansive, loving, free self.

Abby (00:19:30) And as we were released that we witnessed to ourselves. We let go of the layers that have of pain, of untruth, of emotion that kept us from seeing our natural state of the liveliness of balance of light of strength, because that’s always in. Always, that’s a part of you. It’s a part of your essence.

Abby (00:19:58) You are an infinite being with infinite potential and we kind of have a habit of putting ourselves in a little itty-bitty box. You know, we, we, we get handed these little boxes when we’re little kids, babies growing up saying, you are a girl, you are a boy. You are, you know, you can do this, you can’t do this.

Abby (00:20:22) You know, you are smart. And we have experiences where we decide if we’re loved, if we’re not, if we’re worthy, if we’re not, if we can belong or if we can’t and all of those beliefs are little boxes. And at that moment, those little boxes serve us because they help form our identity or they help us cope with something that we didn’t have any other way of coping with at the time.

Abby (00:20:49) But as we get older, the process of truly growing up, not just getting older, but growing up is learning how to step out of those boxes and step into who we truly are. And that is an expansive, free, loving, connected infant. And you, as you step into that part of yourself, which is always there, kind of calling you home, wanting to be found by you as you step into that part of yourself, the whole world, the whole universe opens up within you and around you.

Abby (00:21:35) Cause the boxes, the beliefs, the things that we identify with are simply the lens through which we see the world. And if I see you, if I see the universe as a scary place, then I’m going to find more and more things that scare me. If I see it as a friendly place, I will find more and more things to affirm that belief.

Abby (00:22:03) So we need to choose our beliefs in ways that are freezing and not. If you’d rather be free than limited, it’s your choice. And it’s not a comfortable process to challenge our own beliefs, but it is a profoundly powerful one. And so as beliefs come up, as a belief comes up, if it were to say, I am not worthy.

Abby (00:22:31) I would a hundred percent challenge that belief because how do I respond? When I believe that I put myself in any bitty little box, I probably don’t try as much to do the things that I want to do that would feel fulfilling to me. I don’t go there because I don’t believe I’m worthy of having that, of having that level of happiness, fulfillment, you know, peace and joy that that could, yeah.

Abby (00:22:58) I don’t believe I’m worried worthy. I could sabotage my relationships because I may not believe I’m worthy of feeling happy, or I may want to hide this thought. That’s been telling me I’m unworthy. I may want to hide behind that. Cause I don’t want anybody else to see that. So I don’t let myself be seen and heard and share my voice with the world.

Abby (00:23:26) Or I might simply cope with it. I might be a highly functioning person and I may, you know, maybe very successful, but I may still not feel good enough. And that feeling of not believing I’m good enough could steal the joy of all the success that I have and leave me wanting more, achieving more, having more, getting more that becomes an insatiable thirst that I cannot quench outside of myself because that thought is like a hole in the bottom of a bucket that all of that.

Abby (00:24:07) Success slips through, so it doesn’t get to fully nourish me. And so the way to heal that is by challenging the beliefs and we challenge the beliefs by asking step one. Is it true? And this is an honest question. There’s no right or wrong answer and you may get up. No. Or you may get up, definitely whatever comes up is fine.

Abby (00:24:39) And the next step after that is to challenge again. Can I be certain that it’s true? And as we ask this question, we start to wiggle it a little bit as if it were a tooth that needs to come out. We just kind of started giving it a little bit of a wiggle. I’m just loosening that a little bit. I don’t know if I asked myself, can I be certain that it’s true?

Abby (00:25:06) Like, well, what can I be certain of really not much. So it starts to soften the grip of that belief. Then I ask, who would I be without that thought? Who would you be without the thought that says you’re not good enough. You’re not doing enough. Any version of that? Can you imagine a life, a world where you didn’t have that thought I didn’t appear, and that can feel like a stretch for some people, but I encourage you to permit yourself to stretch there because as you stretch there, you’re opening up that world.

Abby (00:25:49) You’re opening up new circuitry in your mind. You’re shifting neural pathways from a play from a thought loop. That’s unworthy , not good enough. And you’re opening up a new pathway. What would that look like? If I didn’t have that thought and I could feel a little uncomfortable because you’re rewiring, the neural pathways in your mind can feel like your brain’s melting sometimes, but that’s okay.

Abby (00:26:19) That’s just part of the process. You know, it’s a good workout for your mind. And as you imagine that. Who you would be without a thought that says you’re unworthy, not good enough as you imagine who you’d be without that, you might start finding yourself more, calm, more ease, maybe free, whatever it is for you, permit yourself to stretch to that place.

Abby (00:26:55) And as we start opening up to that, we’re kind of wiggling that tooth more and more. We’re opening up a new doorway, a new thought way of, of possibility because anything is possible. We’re opening up a new doorway of possibility within ourselves and by extension around. ’cause your elder world is just a reflection of your inner world.

Abby (00:27:21) If you want to change your life, you need to start within.

Abby (00:27:29) And the next step is we look at the opposite of that thought, what would the opposite of a thought that says I’m not good enough? B or I’m not worthy. And it doesn’t need to be, it could be something unique to you or it could some simply be, I am enough. I am more than enough. I am worthy. And at first, it might feel uncomfortable to try that thought on.

Abby (00:28:00) Maybe you’ve been wearing this other one. That’s you’ve been in this little tiny box and have been squishy. And, and you got used to that. You got used to the squishiness in that box, but as you step out, I can feel expansive and liberating, but it can also feel unfamiliar. And that can feel a little uncomfortable because that old little box may be trying to hold on to it and might still be stuck to the bottom of your foot being like, no, you’re not worthy, but just put it to the side.

Abby (00:28:32) Just imagine taking that box off of you and placing it next to you. And wrapping it in a bubble of light. So it doesn’t go anywhere. It just stays put and everything attached to that thought stays there in that box next to you, no longer on you. And imagine yourself putting on a new belief as if you were getting a new hat and the hat said, I am more then, and just placing that on your head or a Cape.

Abby (00:29:02) The Cape feels good. You can grab a Cape that says I am worthy. I am enough. And just tying it over. Kate feels nice to me. I’m going to go with that one. How does it feel to where that thought says you are enough? You are worthy because you are, you’re worthy of being here. You’re worthy of being yourself.

Abby (00:29:23) We all are. There’s nothing you need to do to be worthy. And maybe, or maybe not, you were raised in a world where you believe that love and worthiness were conditioned. Conditional upon you doing something for someone else or achieving in some specific way, but it’s not, it’s not conditional. You are worthy of being yourself.

Abby (00:29:47) Simply by being here, you are worthy of that just like every animal and plant. Every tree in the forest is worthy of being the tree that it is. Every dog is worthy of being its delightful self. None of that’s conditional. The tree doesn’t need to have a certain number of branches or grow in a specific way to be worthy of being a tree.

Abby (00:30:18) And as a human being, you are not required to achieve, accomplish, or present yourself in any specific way to be worthy of being who you are.

Abby (00:30:34) So try that on allowing it to adjust, to settle in, start wearing that thought in reminding yourself of it regularly. If you’d like to let the other one go. If you are ready to move on from that ITI bit, a little box and step into knowing who you truly are, which is worthy, free, alive, lovable more than enough.

Abby (00:31:03) There’s nothing that can take that from you. There’s nothing that can change that. And maybe, maybe not, you had a belief that interrupted you realizing that for a while, but if you’d like to, now, you can let that go. And so we do a little exercise while we’re here, whether or not that thought for you is worthy.

Abby (00:31:24) Lovable. Good enough. I want you to put that in the box next. And I want to imagine we’re wrapping it in a bubble of light and we’re imagining a big white sky above us, filled with light. And we’re just sending that box, that belief that thought up into the sky. And as you send it up, you can acknowledge it.

Abby (00:31:50) You thank it for being here for helping you to process the world, as you knew it at the time. Likely when you were much younger to try to make sense of a somewhat insane world at times, but now you don’t need that anymore because now you have this deeper realization of your inherent worthiness and enoughness.

Abby (00:32:14) And I want you to feel that inside of yourself, feel the part of you within yourselves, within your heart. That knows that has always known that you are enough, that you are worthy of being here because you are, there’s nothing you need to do or make happen for that to be real. That has always been the case.

Abby (00:32:34) And there’s nothing that can change. And in you, knowing that you release that old belief fully and completely up into that sky filled with a light feeling of being sucked into this guy, letting it go safe. Right. And good to let that go. And remember who you truly are, where more than enough and free.

Abby (00:32:59) And as you let that go into the sky, just seeing it transforming into light streaks of light shooting in all directions, feeling that lightness within you, that ease within you having, let that go and just feeling raindrops of light, pouring down from above and hitting your skin and your face and just drinking in the light and the wisdom from this experience.

Abby (00:33:24) And as you do that, You grow stronger and even wiser. And knowing this truth within you, that you are worthy. You are enough, you are more than enough. You always have been, you always will be. And there’s not a thing that can change that. And what a joy to remember this about yourself, how liberating, how freeing.

Abby (00:33:52) All right. Thank you for going on this journey with me and remembering your breath, remember to breathe, and let the energy flow through your body. And if you get on this journey with me and I can kind of feel you, I’m going to wrap you up on a bubble of life. That’s all right because you’re processing now, you just let go of a foreign object that didn’t belong and was not in alignment for you.

Abby (00:34:17) And now. Your energy system, the circuit of energy flowing through your mind, body, and spirit is processing and reintegrating with that. And filling back up with you. Can you just imagine filling yourself up with light, filling back up with you and you might feel a little tired after this? You might want to take a nap and that is just fine.

Abby (00:34:40) You’re simply processing and reintegrating a part of yours. And you’ll feel phenomenal after. All right. Thank you for listening. I’m Abigail Moss. I’m a healer, a coach, and a mentor. I help people heal themselves. Remember their purpose and share their gifts with the world. And this is something that you’d like to learn, how to do to gain the tools, confidence, and clarity to heal yourself.

Abby (00:35:09) To remember why you’re here and what you came here to do. And to clear the path, to bring that into the world, then reach out to me. You can find me on mind, body free.com and you can book a free discovery. My mentorship program is open to registration now, and you can learn more about the mentorship on mind, body free.com/mentorship.

Abby (00:35:34) As a six-month program, we meet every week in really intimate class sizes. We meet online and at that time we connect for two hours and. It becomes a phenomenal journey of transformation that we go on. It is a safe and sacred container for you to be truly seen, to let go, and to grow. And with that, we have people go through so many profound shifts and transformations.

Abby (00:36:06) I work with people for six months or a year, depending on what they’re ready for. I also teach people how to be here. And in that time period, we’ve had people leave jobs and start new ones. We’ve had them change careers to leave their day job and become a healer in their way, sharing their unique gifts with the world.

Abby (00:36:29) I’ve had people move homes, cities, and countries to follow a path that feels aligned for them. Learn how to connect with a part of you that knows the way forward. And we do that through learning how to speak with your dreams, how to speak with your body, how to speak with your higher self, how to speak with anything that presents itself in your mind, your body, or your life.

Abby (00:36:55) And as we do that, anything is possible and doors, which used to feel locked are no longer there. They open up. And you have the courage and grace and knowingness of your worthiness to step through those doors. So if you like to learn more about me on mindbodyfree.com you can also find me on Facebook and Instagram at @yourmindbodyfree.

Abby (00:37:24) Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for your hearts. Thank you for being here and my love to you, take care.

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Juliet Root: Mastering Your Inner World

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Juliet Root: Mastering Your Inner World

Juliet Root is a transformation coach, integrative healer, nutritionist & host of The Woo Cast Podcast. She shares her 15-year journey from starting in the fitness and nutrition industry to moving into the more metaphysical and spiritual work that she is currently practicing with clients all around the world. Her passion is to help people release, reconnect and root into their power so they can live a life full of magic and bliss.

Connect with Juliet:
Instagram @juliet_root
rootedpower.com
Master your inner world 8-week group Program

 


 

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:01):

Hello, and welcome to the Mindbodyfree podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss. And today I’m here with a very wonderful guest Juliet Root, and she is a transformation coach and integrative healer, a nutritionist, and host of the Woo cast podcast, which I highly recommend checking out. There are so many incredible conversations on there, and she shares her 15-year journey from starting in the fitness and nutrition industry to moving into the more metaphysical and spiritual work that she is currently practicing with clients all around the world. Her passion is to help people release. We connect and root into their power so they can live a life full of magic and bliss. Juliet. Thank you for being here.

Juliet (00:00:51):

Thank you. This is very exciting to be on your show. I’ve been wanting to chat with you on your show for a while. So very honored to be a guest.

Abby (00:01:03):

I’m so glad that we got to do this and I’m grateful for the work that you do. So you’ve been on a 15-year journey. So tell us a little bit about that journey. Like how did you, when did that, when did it all begin?

Juliet (00:01:18):

Okay. Everybody brace yourself for a four-hour podcast.

Juliet (00:01:24):

I’m just kidding. But, well I went through a lot of hardships in my childhood. A lot of trauma just kind of keeps things condensed, but a lot of like big T incidents that happened when I was young, my mom getting very sick and not being able to take care of me. I have a twin brother. So take care of us. My, uh, brother ended up being very sick as well when we were teenagers and going through, uh, a lot of that. And then right after my dad passed away from a heart attack. So there were just all, there were a lot of things. And then not to mention all of the webs of trauma that was throughout the childhood, not just those incidents, but just having a very chaotic, messy upbringing. And I sort of had to take care of myself from the time I was very young and I was probably around 10 when I felt like more of an adult than I needed to feel.

Juliet (00:02:35):

And after my dad died, when I was 16, I became technically an orphan. And I had an aunt too. I hadn’t, wasn’t very close with, but she adopted me, but it was kind of odd being adopted at that age because I had already, like I said, been acting like an adult and very independent for all these years. And then I was, I had to move away to a different, and uh, about nine months into that, I ended up taking her to court and becoming a man supported. And I was very fortunate because she was understanding and actually provided me a lot of love and support, even though I was not having it with her being my guardian. And I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. But in those nine months, I was with her and it was very transformative because she helped me be responsible and set some ground rules.

Juliet (00:03:31):

Like if you do these things, then I’ll let you be emancipated. So I had to do a little bit of extra growing up in that time to be able to do that. And when, uh, when I was living with her for those nine months, one of the big pieces of my healing journey, which had kind of already started a couple of years prior, just from, from having a poor self-image, but it looking back it’s, it’s all interconnected in a way that was very healing for me was I had been exercising and taking care of my physical body and eating a healthier diet. And even though it was sort of under the umbrella of, I don’t like the way I look and I felt a lot of self-loathing, but it was very helpful for my mental health and wellbeing because, uh, working out, I think it saved my life and it provided a release and like endorphins.

Juliet (00:04:32):

And during that time, after my dad died, that was the only relief I was getting from feeling so sad and so depressed. And so I would go to the gym when I was living with my aunt every day, pretty much, I remember taking a bus over an hour to get to this gym so I could go and be with myself and work out. And that started my path of loving health and fitness because it just helped me so much. It was so transformative. And when I moved out and moved back to New York, which is where I’m from, I went to pursue it full time and became a personal trainer at barely 18 years old. You couldn’t get certification until you were 18, but I convinced this manager of a gym to hire me. I said I promise you, I will do a good job.

Juliet (00:05:32):

And I don’t know at that moment I felt so in my, in my path and purpose and nothing was going to stop me. And those are really interesting moments in life that I have paid attention to. And that was one of the first moments of, of realizing like when something is almost like divinely in your path and for you, there’s a feeling that you get, or at least that get that it’s like there aren’t a lot of questions and what if, and what if I don’t get it or whatever at that moment, it was like, I will do anything. This is what I need to be doing right now. And so I started working as a trainer and it just kind of took off from there. And for many years I did that. And then I ended up moving to Philadelphia and owning some gyms eventually with a business partner. And that was awesome. I ended up going back to school to get a nutrition degree and that kind of complimented all the fitness stuff. And that is where the more holistic part of the journey began once I went back to school to study nutrition. So I don’t know how much more we want to go into, but that’s the little, like, there’s just sort of the path.

Abby (00:06:49):

There are so many juicy things I want to pull out from what you just said. Yeah. You know, and so like you, you kind of, whether you did or didn’t sign up for it, you got, you got a life of really rapid growth kind of pushed into you early on with all the big T traumas you talked about and you know, as we all respond differently to that kind of stuff and you took it and you’ve just got effing strong.

Juliet (00:07:18):

Yeah. It’s metaphorically and literally who I am.

Abby (00:07:24):

Yeah, I mean, you’re one of the strongest people I know. And, it’s, you know, metaphorically and literally, it’s incredible how, you know, how that can forge people overcoming challenges like that. Not that it’s, you know, an easy process, we dance out of fully unscathed, but to see the way that, that kind of forged you into this path, and I love how you said, you know, working out saved my life and then you stepped into enabling other people that do that. So what kind of changes did you see when you were working with other people being a trainer? Did you have people coming in who were dealing with traumas or needing to move in their bodies? Like what was that like seeing?

Juliet (00:08:17):

Yeah, that’s a great question because it sort of depended on the demographic that I worked in throughout the years. And my first job as a trainer, I worked in more rural areas. I was living in upstate New York at the time. And, uh, I worked with a lot of really overweight and unhealthy clients, which I was really happy to do. So because, you know, for me, a lot of it, this passion had to do with my dad and his passing. He died from a heart attack, but he was overweight and had a food addiction for my whole life. And I watched him slowly kill himself through overeating and drinking and not moving and stressing his body out and being stressed out with work. And it was just a whole dislike of a plethora of things that I just watched him deteriorate my whole life. And so that inspired me.

Juliet (00:09:32):

And I wanted to work with people and help them understand how powerful they are and how capable they are of moving and falling in love with movement. And what I saw a lot was underneath these issues, the core of it was a lot of times trauma, but I didn’t know what to do with that. I was way too young and inexperienced when I started to know, and I was still dealing with my trauma at the time and, or not even dealing with my trauma, I hadn’t even gone to therapy for all the things that had happened to me yet, or saw any healers or coaches or helpers. None of that. It was just at that point, I was in survival mode myself, but I did pay attention and I made a lot of correlations between people’s health and what happened to them in their past, but I wasn’t at the point yet to help them with that.

Juliet (00:10:25):

So it was just helping them on the physical level, which it’s like a, I think of it as layers of this stuff and like the outer layer, like the physical body is a huge layer for people to start to work with. And if you can start moving energy, then other things can start to move too. But it wasn’t my job at the time to be the person to help them with that next layer. But I was like, all right, I’m the first layer helper we’re here. So yeah, I saw a lot of that with people that, that transformation, once they could see themselves feeling better and getting healthier, that then allowed them to have more confidence in themselves and take a next step of, okay, now I want to address this aspect of my life and then this aspect of my life. And it’s cool. It’s like a domino effect when you start taking care of your health.

Abby (00:11:19):

Yeah. It’s incredible. And you know, as someone who has not been like predominantly in the body for a long, large portion of my life, or it’s like getting into a rhythm and a flow of working out and having had some structure for a while where I was working out, you know, and pushing past what I, you know, the mind like let’s give up before the body. And then after I workout, I would just go and have a good cry session. I was like, I think I just found some stuff that had been stored in your body.

Juliet (00:11:51):

Yeah. It had, you know, I’ve experienced that. I experienced that on the regular, honestly, like working out for me is such an emotional release. And oftentimes I have a stationary bike in my house and I’ll get on that thing. And like, my husband will come in, I’ll be hunched over the thing, just sobbing. I’m like, I’m having a good run. I’m just having a release right now. Like, especially if there’s a song that plays, that’s just pulling on a heartstring. I’m like, here it comes.

Abby (00:12:21):

Yeah. I know husbands of spiritual women who are doing lots of Keeling. Like I regularly tell my husband, no, I’m not dying. It’s okay. It feels really good. And just come back later if it’s too much. Yeah. So tell me about nutrition. So you went in there and took that into a more holistic place. So did you find that made a difference for yourself and other people you were working with when you brought in that level? Like that component?

Juliet (00:12:53):

So, as I was getting to the start of my training career, I fell in love and it was a tumultuous, abusive relationship. And I was actually in a very confident place before we were together and feeling like I know my purpose, I’m doing this fitness thing. I feel really good. I’m helping other people. And then, you know, not putting any blame on this person, this is just what happened. We went through a horrible relationship and I lost myself in that situation. And my self-esteem. You know, if, if I, if we think of it as a percentage, I was maybe at like 85%, really high self-esteem. And then by the end of our relationship, I was at 10%. And I went into the super night of the soul from that relationship. It was like, like a one, two punch for me or like, okay, everything is coming to the surface now.

Juliet (00:13:58):

And one of the things that came through was I ended up having, uh, an eating disorder during that period when we were together and I had bingeing and restricting problems. So I was bingeing on food, could not stop thinking about food and, and I was over-exercising. And so to burn off everything that I was overeating, and it just felt like this hamster on a wheel cycle that I couldn’t get off of. And I had so much disdain for the way I looked and body dysmorphia and all of this is happening while I’m in this world of helping people to transform their bodies. And, you know, there is a lot of pressure in that industry of looking a certain way and just being that person, who’s the expert who has the body that people are like, well, I trust this person because they look fit, right?

Juliet (00:14:50):

So there, it was just a really hard time. And we ended up moving to New York City during that time. And there’s a lot, there was a whole new pressure of work and, you know, quote-unquote, making it big in the fitness industry. And, I ended up getting a dream job there. And it was like celebrity training, like all, it was just a wild year of my life of being a tortured soul because I was struggling so badly behind closed doors. Nobody knew, you know, how much I was bingeing and restricting and overexercising, and I was exhausted. And then this, you know, this relationship I was in, we were fighting constantly. It was so emotionally abusive and that it ended up being a turning point for me to take care of my emotional health for the first time. So I ended up leaving him and remembered that aunt that had adopted me when I was a teenager. Well, I called her and asked her if she would take me back.

Juliet (00:15:56):

And I became her roommate and rented a room for her, and moved out to New York again. And that was a big start for me, of taking care of myself for the first time and not fighting so hard and being in survival. And that’s when I started going to therapy, starting to take care of my physical health more, and understanding nutrition from a holistic way. And that inspired me. I wanted to heal myself and my body dysmorphia and heal my eating disorder. And that inspired me to go and learn how to fuel myself properly and how to help other people with that. And I ended up going to a holistic nutrition program because there was something about using food as medicine that just stuck with me. And that was such an incredible experience. I met so many people when I went to school that was all about holistic healing and alternative medicine. And it was not just about food. It was spirituality. And I started learning more about myself on a deeper level and my patterns and my habits and where they come, where they come from, and my trauma and linking everything together. It was like a wake-up moment for me.

Abby (00:17:24):

Yeah. Those moments are so powerful. And it’s funny how they show up. Not long after those nights of the soul, sometimes you just have to let it all crash so you can build a backup.

Juliet (00:17:39):

Yeah. I remember just crying every day when I left that relationship. And it was like that just guttural feeling of like, will this ever end this pain that I feel, you know, it’s just deep, deep sorrow, right. Like crying where you’re like, you know, gagging, like you’re, you know, like you’re so like you just, your, your heart is just, just broken into pieces and it’s just, it’s incredible. It’s good. I think it is good to have those moments to know that they do end. It’s not permanent because when you’re in it, you’re like, this is never going to end.

Abby (00:18:21):

Absolutely. It feels all-encompassing and forever. And so you took action. You change things, you change your life quite significantly in that, in those moments. So was there something, or a moment that was a turning point for you when you started changing your life and taking care of yourself and going into this other spiritual journey of holistic nutrition?

Juliet (00:18:48):

It’s hard to say, well, the turning point for leaving that relationship, having the guts to do that was because I was in so much, I was actually in physical pain for the first time. I’ve never, I’d never experienced an emotional pain then turning into actual physical pain where your body hurts. And I was waking up with stomach pains. My body was rejecting my life. And it, that was a moment of like, I, this is, it almost felt life or death for me, you know, in OAS, like I ha I have to do this and I have to do this now. And within moments, I called my job and quit calling the U-Haul company. And like got out of there. It was very traumatic actually

Abby (00:19:34):

I forgot I feel the power, but I’ve got shivers as you’re talking about it. Like the power of a moment like that, it’s a whole new timeline that you created.

Juliet (00:19:44):

Yeah. It was that intuition saying, like, get out now, like you’ve got to get out now. And I did. And you know, the turning point, I think, was just allowing time to heal, you know what I said, being in that moment of turmoil or a lot of moments of turmoil and going to therapy. And it was you, I always have had a mental fortitude that I can’t explain exactly where it comes from, but it feels like a part of me that’s been with me for the whole, for this whole lifetime, or maybe even previous lifetimes, this part of me that like I can rely on. And she’s just very tenacious. And I’ve been able to rely on that part of myself, even throughout these awful moments. And so the turning point was just like relying on her. And one of the interesting things was I was going through old journals recently, which is an amazing way to see how far you’ve come in life.

Juliet (00:20:48):

And it was a journal that I was keeping right after my dad passed away. And there’s a part in there that just says, this is the most pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life. This is, so this hurts so bad, like mourning his loss, but I know that I’m going to be okay. I know I’m going to get through this. And it was just, it was almost like a channeling of something at like 16 to write something like that. It’s like, she always knew, you know, there’s something in this, like something guiding me and I can’t explain it other than I just feel like I can listen to myself in these moments and just keep pushing through. And when I have a feeling that says like, this is what you need to do, like nutrition school and going that route. It was again, another one of these moments of just like, you’ve got to sign up, you’ve got to do this. This is, it happens fast when it’s right. It’s exactly how I ended up in, you know, being in a mentorship with you, Abby. It wasn’t, uh, like I got to think about it. Should I do it often for me, it’s just like, this is it right now. You must sign up immediately.

Abby (00:22:02):

I find things. I react to things in that way too. And I remember that you were the first person that signed up and it was, we got one call, like, all right, let’s do this. But it’s like, you know, you feel the resonance when, you know.

Juliet (00:22:12):

Yeah. I don’t know if every, if it, I think everybody has, you know, their intuition barometer a little bit different, but that’s one that I’ve had enough times now that I’m like, oh, okay, trusting this. Cause this is not, this is like several times now in my life that this has happened.

Abby (00:22:28):

Yeah. Well, thank goodness you’ve got that, you know, especially as he got to navigate tricky stuff. And so, and, you know, just jumping back into what you’re saying before about feeling like this sense of the like meeting, to portray a certain image and feeling so different on the other side of that. And there’s, there’s a couple of pieces about that. There’s one that kind of comes to mind is the concept of a wounded healer where, you know, we’ve got some stuff, but we’re still helping. And I know very few people who’ve reached a level of, alright, I’m there. I’m good. You know, I’ve gotten through all my demons. But I find for a lot of us, it’s a sense of like perfectly imperfect and continues to grow and walk each other home. And I feel like that’s, you know, the need to portray perfection is starting to shift as people talk more about Mountville health issues and struggles.

Abby (00:23:23):

And, the taboo and stigma around receiving help are starting to go away. It’s like if you imagine, you know if you had to, every time you had to go to a doctor visit or to get someone to help you with your body, if there was the same level of taboo, that like would be a lot more people in trouble, but internally it’s just as important. So yeah, it’s, you know, and I appreciate your authenticity and sharing the acts that every time somebody does, it makes it a safer place for the next person too. And so that’s something that I’m working on too because I’ve seen that tendency in myself to want to portray perfection, to inspire and uplift, but you know, no one lives that I know of in a state of chronic constant for production. So just being real, just like being it’s like being able to exhale. Fine.

Juliet (00:24:16):

Yeah. I feel that. And even with clients, I will share some, you know, from my heart, some things that I am going through, you know, in an appropriate way, not oversharing, but I find that it’s really helpful to say, I can completely relate this little incident that happened. It’s like, you, we’re all on this path together of becoming more self-aware and compassionate towards ourselves. And I have many days and moments where I’m still like learning and I’m teaching, I’m teaching myself every day, this stuff

Abby (00:24:58):

A hundred percent. Yeah. We’re all in this human experience and it’s kinda messy and that’s okay. So with that, you went into holistic nutrition, and then you were working with trauma as well. So how did you get into what you’re doing now when you’re working with trauma healing? So you have, like, it’s amazing to have these multiple components because I feel it is so crucial. Like I work with people where we’re working on healing, a lot of stuff, but they have had a lot of digestive issues. A lot of that’s tied to the diet and, you know, the gut mind connection with mental health is so incredibly huge. I feel like we need to kind of address both. So how has that kind of like coming into the circle of what you offer for people now,

Juliet (00:25:50):

It was this natural progression from just working with the body and then realizing, wait, you have to work with the inside of the body through what you’re putting in the body. So then learning about what you put in your body that will make somebody feel super energized and then they even have better performance and they, you know, have better mental health and learning about like the gut mind connection. And then as, uh, I went into a deeper layer after I went to school just to learn about holistic nutrition and kind of what foods work and combinations and all different dietary theories. I then wanted to go even deeper into another layer of it, which is the psychology of eating. Because as I was, I had a private practice, just really doing health coaching and nutrition, which was just helping people really with what they’re eating and how they’re eating.

Juliet (00:26:47):

And I quickly realized that there was a lot of resistance. It’s not as easy to say, okay, here’s what you should be eating to live optimally and feel your best for what’s going on with you. And then to have people come back and have very low compliance. And then it was like, okay, what’s going on here. I was like, I need more tools to understand this connection. And for, I had learned so much myself from having a coach when I was healing my disordered eating and my relationship with my food and body that I wanted to have tools to be able to do that for other people. So that’s where all the trauma stuff comes in. That our relationship with food is a lot of times a metaphor for our relationship with life, how we’re nourishing ourselves, and how we take care of ourselves.

Juliet (00:27:41):

And so it’s like making those connection pieces for people and understanding that, you know, food is powerful in its healing properties, but how you use it. That’s the part where you have to go deeper into what’s programming and your subconscious around how you look at food and how you view your body. What’s the conditioning culturally that we’ve all had. We’ve been really like given so much information and confusing information, you know, as an, as a nutritionist, when we were in school, I remember it was probably like our first week. And they said, you’re choosing a really interesting career path, everyone, because guess what? We’re going to tell you a million dietary theories that are out there and they, and a lot of them diametrically, oppose each other. This is going to be very confusing for you. All right. And there’s scientific evidence backing this research over here to show that this diet is the healthiest and they, you know, support decreasing disease. And then it, and that one’s vegan. And then there’s this one over here, which is me. And it says, this one is the way. And it’s like, wait, what?

Abby (00:29:02):

Yeah. Like having someone like I’ve been needing for a long time, I had been for many years and I was like, this is the way it’s the way. And everyone else is wrong. And then I got candida overgrowth. I was like, I can’t do this diet and, and be okay in my body. So it’s, it’s interesting. It’s like we have beliefs about what food should be, but then the body has its reality of what it is, how it experiences things along with the trauma and everything else.

Juliet (00:29:34):

Well, we’re so nuanced and that’s a challenging thing for people to understand because it would just be so easy for us to know, okay, here’s the plan. And this is exactly what’s going to work for you. And this is going to protect you from, you know, disease and you’re gonna, you’re gonna age gracefully and like all the things that we want for, you know, food and to support us with. But the reality is that each one of us is unique and, you know, I preach bio-individuality when it comes to what people are eating. And that takes a real level of patience and understanding and not rushing this process. And, and I call it playful, experimentation, just being playful with, okay, I’m going to try this and, and not, okay, this is, this has to work. It’s like, no, just try this out, see how this feels and get feedback from your body.

Juliet (00:30:34):

But we live in a real, in a culture that’s all about immediate, like instant gratification. And it’s this way, you know, is challenging. And I’m very upfront with people when I’m like this. I don’t have a one size fits all diet, and I’m constantly even shifting my perceptions of what health is as I’m growing. You know, I’ve been doing the nutrition thing for over 10 years now. And it’s like, for example, even up until recently, I was like, fasting is not great for women. And it was something I, from the research I had, I’d looked at. And, I was not saying to clients that this is a good idea because trends kind of come about, and right now there’s a big trend towards ketogenic and fasting being really, healthy for anti-aging and rebuilding your body. And, but then I like challenging myself on that. Everyone’s nuanced. Maybe it’s not fasting. Isn’t great for certain women depending on their cycle, it’s not just this blanket statement of it’s bad for you. And that’s what we like to, we like to put things in boxes with this stuff,

Abby (00:31:55):

A hundred percent it’s like, then I can control it. And the food is something that I feel like I want to have control over. Otherwise, I feel like I can, it has control over me. And I know that that’s not, it’s a relationship, I love that you mentioned playful exploration and it adds so much more lightness to it. And I love that term that you used biodiversity because it, yeah, it is so different. And even, you know what I need, depending on the season and where I’m at physically and in my life changes too. So if it’s, it is so nuanced and you find, what do you hear? I am trying to make it concrete. Do you find that there’s a certain staff that you move forward with when it comes to a relationship with food, for someone finding what works for them, there are certain ways that aren’t about connecting with their body and just exploring and making note of how they feel after, or what do you think is like the most important aspect when it comes to putting things in your body that are going to be, I love that you mentioned that food is powerful.

Abby (00:33:11):

So how, how do you use that power for you in a world that’s filled with conflicting information?

Juliet (00:33:19):

Yeah. I think that too, it depends on where somebody’s at. And let’s say you are healing your relationship with food because you have been yo-yo dieting your whole life or you’re, or you’re always trying a new plan. Like this is going to be the one that’s going to make me feel the best store it’s going to cure my candies or whatever. I’ve had many friends and clients who are on different journeys. Some are on the journey of always wanting to lose weight. And what’s the best day for me to lose weight? I have, and others are on the journey of what’s the best diet to be the healthiest. And both of those can be controlled in your life and take over your life and your thoughts and your, and talk about taking up brain space. That was actually for me, why I wanted to heal my relationship with food.

Juliet (00:34:09):

I’m like if I spent as much time thinking about what I’m going to eat and what I’m going to eat, if I spent this much time on something else like I could help save the world, you know, climate change or something. I’m like, why am I, instead of thinking about the size of my butt and you know, what I’m going to have for dinner. But I think that you know, when somebody is, has been so controlled like that for so long, you can’t just be like, all right, you’re going to be an intuitive eater. Now go ahead, eat, eat intuitively zero

Abby (00:34:44):

To 60 Jones. Like, all right. Just be completely different from

Juliet (00:34:47):

Everything you’ve known. Yeah. Which some people, you know, some, uh, practitioners preach that to just like, let go completely. And it’s going to be messy for a little while, and then you’ll find your way. And that has worked for some people. Some people have very transformative experiences, but talk about a real letting go. I think for me, it’s about meeting somebody where they’re at and, you know, I think having some structure is important. I’m really big on education. So educating people about food and the power of food and getting people excited about the power of nutrition. And when we think about food, it’s not that complicated. There are not that many foods out there actually that are coming from nature that is just that what we’re supposed to be eating, you know, and the way that, you know, another animal might be eating, you know, the grass and that’s then the leaves and that’s there for them understanding what are we supposed to be eating? Like what, what foods exist out there for us. And then you realize it’s not that many. And so now I have at least some structure to understand, right? These are nature’s foods. These are whole on, in their unprocessed form. What kind of structure do I want next in order? How do I want to put them in my life?

Abby (00:36:11):

I love that. And I love that you mentioned the comparison of like the animal eating grass and it comes so naturally to animals. They know they’re just so in tune with their body and with the world, their environment, as it’s intended to be, you know, not always, you know, in a natural environment for them either, but it kind of makes me think that this is ultimately a really simple thing. And remembering how to be a part of that simple thing. Like you had mentioned briefly that all the social societal programming that we get growing up around that. And I know like so many commercials and someone I mentioned once you don’t see a commercial for apples, you don’t see a commercial for, you know, for simple whole ingredients. It’s always these like super, pre-pack like a super package with these all kinds of special cartoon labels to make it more enticing and extra sugar refined to make it more addictive and all of this messaging for, you know, how you need to look like a woman and how this will be the one thing that will make you feel good or eating more of this as a man will make you more of a man is really, it’s interesting.

Abby (00:37:23):

It’s like, that’s so much simpler than society has made it out to be. It seems like,

Juliet (00:37:28):

Yeah, well, it’s big, it’s a big industry. It makes a lot of money. You’re right. And there’s, and we’re just being enticed all the time. But it’s funny you say that because there were commercials lately of pistachios and I was like, what, what is wrong with these pistachios? Like, why are these suspicious? I was like, I do not trust these commercials. I’m like, what are they doing with these mistakes? It’s just so random. I’m like, what’s, what’s next? You know, bro, is there going to be broccoli dancing, broccoli on my TV? But, yeah, going back to like, how to do what’s the approach people take just, I think learning knowledge is power and learning about food and like what foods are out there. And their health properties are exciting, you know, and having some sort of structure of what humans eat, but it can get tricky in, in the holistic and the spiritual world.

Juliet (00:38:35):

People like when you go a step further, and for those who do eat all healthy whole foods from nature, it can get pretty wild out there. You know, from a fruitarian someone who’s only eating fruits to, uh, you know, the carnivore diet, someone’s only eating meat to like all of these things. And everybody is so sure like this is the way this is going to be the way that you live the longest and you are the healthiest and here’s what’s happening on a cellular level. And it’s like, that gets so confusing for so many people and stressful. And I am a big believer in the power of your belief, in what it’s doing to your body because the mind and body connection is huge with this. And if you believe that you’re eating the right thing, and you’re not stressed out about it, then go ahead.

Juliet (00:39:38):

You may have wonderful results, but if you are stressing yourself out with what you’re eating, even if it’s a healthy diet, then you’re not going to be digesting as well. So that’s the psychology part of it. That was game-changing for me when I started working with people and for myself, it was just being more mindful about how you’re feeling about what you’re eating. If you’re in total stress and you dislike the way you’re eating, but it’s the way because you have what, from what you’ve read, I would say reevaluate that because there are many ways there isn’t just one way.

Abby (00:40:18):

Yeah. And it’s so nice to just hear that there are many ways there isn’t just one way, cause I’ve definitely been in that vise or the grip of like a rigid belief around food and it was damaging my body. And it took for me anyway, a lot, a lot, a lot of healing around deprogramming that all of the guilt and shame around, you know, for me anyway, it was eating meat and facing like for me, all of this past life stuff around that too, having been a hunter and it’s a whole other story, but it involved letting go of the programming also involves letting go of a lot of trauma. And do you find that when you’re working with clients that in that experience of opening up to listening to their body, does that go hand in hand with healing trauma, or what has that been like with you navigating your clients and yourself?

Juliet (00:41:20):

Most of what I do with people is navigate their trauma around their bodies and food. And if that’s the particular reason why they’re coming to see me, and it’s a lot of unlearning from childhood, how they relate to food, how they relate to their body. It’s a lot of ancestral healing around what I’m supposed to look like when I’m supposed, how I’m supposed to be as an eater and making those connections is powerful for people, you know, for myself, I really, it was a big deal for me to heal my trauma around my father and his overeating and you know, my binge eating and what I had witnessed and learned from just observing him and through osmosis, just taking on some of that. And my relationship with food was always a relationship of scarcity, which a lot of people have like there’s never going to be enough.

Juliet (00:42:25):

And so it’s eating everything on your plate and feeling and thinking about when you’re going to be eating next. And that feeling of when, like this, might be my only opportunity. So I’m, you know, gonna do it, I’m gonna do it up and then feeling the guilt and the shame that comes after that. And then perhaps some restriction even to punish yourself, a lot of punishment comes with that. Like I’m bad and punish myself. Now I need to go work out or I need to start my diet on Monday and then go through this whole cycle of deprivation, which isn’t our natural state to be Def deprived, you know, from a real primal perspective, we’re not meant to be deprived of food. So it goes against biology in a sense to be on these diets, which is why they aren’t part of why they don’t work. And understanding that’s important too. It’s like, there’s biology with this or psychology with this. And there’s trauma. It’s a lot of different layers of this.

Abby (00:43:26):

I  appreciate that. You can see and work with each layer and, you know, I’m, you mentioned that a lot of it’s ancestral and that feeling of there’s not going to be enough. And I’ve had that too for my, you know, I don’t think my mom ever told me I had to eat everything, but like I just had this thing of like, I can never waste food and think about like going back and ancestry lines, like how many of us through our lineage has been through famine, have been through war times have been through, uh, you know, a drought where the crops didn’t grow and, and just going back far enough to be a human. It was a much more delicate thing to have all the resources that you needed to have enough to survive. And the trauma that gets passed down from that still lingers. And it’s just interesting, even in this world where we have so much, it’s really about the inner world of what pieces of this have not healed yet.

Juliet (00:44:28):

There’s a lot of self-inquiry that happens when you’re healing your relationship to anything in particular, though, relationship to your body and food. And I do it every day with myself. And when I go to eat something or if I’m craving something, it’s a lot of questions. Like one of my favorite questions that I use a lot is what are you hungry for? Because it might not be hunger. A lot of times, for me, it’s, I’m tired. I’m hungry for rest. I’m hungry for connection. Maybe I’m feeling lonely. I’m hungry for a hug. I need physical touch, right? And that tuning in is powerful. And I think many of us are disconnected from our needs in that way. And so food becomes a way to nest to size ourselves and just numb out and distract ourselves. And it’s this moment of fleeting pleasure and, you know, food is wonderful.

Juliet (00:45:38):

And I never want anyone to not have it be pleasurable. I think food should be one of the most pleasurable things that we experience in our life, but at the same time, it’s having more reverence for what our actual needs are. Versus if we’re having a desire and a craving, a lot of times the food isn’t going to support that it’s this immediate, it’s an immediate fix, quick fix, but it’s going to leave you with the same feeling after. So it’s addressing the root of what is at the root of what you need, but the food is, I always say food is a doorway for people of healing. If you’re having an issue with overeating or body dysmorphia or anything like that, it’s really, it’s a healing opportunity for a lot of people. It’s just your gateway into whatever your healing journey is going to be. And that was what it was for me. It was like I’m. So I’m grateful for going through that experience of having an eating disorder, because it propelled me into actually looking at the deeper layers of trauma and why I was, why that was a side of, it was just a side effect. It’s not a problem. It’s just a side effect,

Abby (00:46:52):

A hundred percent. And I can fully relate to that feeling of numbing out. Like I spent years just spending most of my day snacking and in a brain fog. And it was just a way to avoid all of these traumas and fears I had around self-worth around doing this work that I felt called to do, and just letting that take over my biology. And it was, I had asked myself that question too, like, what did I want? And it was a connection. And I thought that food was a way to have that. But then the more I ate that just felt more bloated and brain foggy and grosser. And that wasn’t it, you know, the movement helped to be present with the emotions that were coming up. And I love how you mentioned it’s a gateway hundred percent. Like I’ve found that so much gateway into the body, a gateway into the pain gateway, into moving through the pings.

Abby (00:47:48):

I realized like any addiction, every time that I escaped that opportunity when that feeling was coming up, that I didn’t want to feel every time I numbed that out. I just closed that door to healing a part of myself for a little bit longer, and that didn’t get me anywhere. I just got my two still craving connection, but also feeling way worse than my body. And it wasn’t until I said, I’m going to stop doing this. I’m going to feel whatever I need to feel. And I mean, that has been intense because there are lots of feelings over the years that have been, you know, been numbed out with food, but so rewarding and necessary. And so when it comes to the trauma piece, when it comes to that part, do you feel like, how do you know when you’re ready to go there to look at that?

Juliet (00:48:40):

That’s a great question. I think that it will come up without you planning for it to come up. So I don’t think it’s like, I’m ready now. I just think that it will come up from what I’ve seen over the years of working with clients. I don’t push anybody to go to do trauma work. It’s when you’re ready, it will come through when it’s meant to be seen and looked at. And I think you and I talked offline about this with, especially with hypnosis people, often afraid that they’re going to have a repressed memory. And they’re like, I don’t want to see whatever could be repressed. What if it’s really scary? And I just gently encourage that, you know, you are in control of this. And so whatever is meant to come up will come up because you are in a safe enough place in your life and you’re, you are ready.

Juliet (00:49:47):

And I don’t think there is like no weighing. I think it just kind of unfolds before somebody’s eyes. And a lot of it’s about feeling safe enough to go there. You know, for my own story, I couldn’t do meditation hypnosis any of that deeper layer work for years because I would have a panic attack. My body would tell me, Nope, you can’t go there yet. We’re not ready. And it would just completely clam up on me and I would go, okay, we, you know, it’s not, we’re not ready. We haven’t, we don’t have enough safety in our life, enough stability meeting. My husband helped me. He was a big part of my healing journey meeting a man that was just so kind and gentle. And, you know, I call him my angel. He just has a golden light that emanates from him.

Juliet (00:50:48):

He’s just like this old, beautiful soul that just is this grounding, you know, and it’s no accident that his last name is root. I wanted it needed to route, you know, it was not rooted. And there’s just so much of that that supported my healing being with somebody with whom I could trust and feel safe. And there was no, there wasn’t chaos for a long time. So I needed to have years of not having a lot of chaos and feeling safe and held and supported and, and, uh, just being in that calm or state for a while. And then, you know, another thing that did help me as I went on anti-anxiety medication for a few years, and that medication, you know, supported me in that time. And I had, man, I was so resistant to doing something like that, just being in the holistic world and being so natural and not taking anything, you know, and feeling very self-righteous about that in a way kind of, you know, the way you’re explaining being vegan.

Juliet (00:51:58):

Like I like no way, you know, and having family members who had been on that and watching their journey with it and having a lot of judgment around it and judging myself so much, but it was at a point where it was, again, one of those situations where you do this, or you, or you’re going to suffer. You’ve got to take this chance right now and you owe it to yourself to at least try this. Because at that point I was having panic attacks in my sleep. A lot of things were happening where trauma was like coming up. And I was like, I don’t want to have my day right now. And that’s supported me because it was like a, again, another, like a protective safety layer of, okay, now I can close my eyes and meditate without having the neuro epinephrine, the actual chemicals in my body surging.

Juliet (00:52:51):

And so it was able to do a little bit of deeper work. And I had worked with an imagery therapist, which is powerful. It’s a lot of the work that you do. And that I do now with clients, which is going into the subconscious and, you know, I met many guides and it’s him. He was a beautiful Buddhist man that wasn’t even coming from a place of, of, of meeting your, your, you know, metaphysical guides. He was just really what’s in the subconscious. And I met so many different guides that supported me and I see how magical and spiritual it was now in hindsight we were doing, but he was an art therapist and it was a beautiful experience. But, you know, in terms of when you’re ready, I can, I’ll use just my own story. That it’s just over time, I felt safer and safer. And then it was like, okay, I’m ready for this next layer. I’m ready for this next layer or ready for this next layer. And I’m still healing even deeper now, you know, doing the work that I do with you. Like, I feel like even stuff that was lodged in there from maybe like a past life. Like it’s like, okay, now that’s ready to come out and not just this life.

Abby (00:54:04):

Yeah. A hundred percent. And it’s no. When you mentioned the feeling of safety, I heard once something along the lines of being a healer is really about creating a space where someone can be, feel safe, enough to see and heal parts of themselves. And I feel like the layers are also going into a deeper, deeper feeling of all right, I’m safe to look at this. Now I can, I’m safe. And you know, I’m strong enough, I’m safe enough. I feel like the two of them two can come together, but yeah, it is an incredible thing. And so someone’s going through that and what you said too about medication, I’ve been through that phase of judgments. And, you know, it’s funny how the mind loves to judge. But I met so many people where I didn’t save their lives and it did give them the space to begin healing,  to have some space, to move through. And as someone who holds that space for other people now, what are your thoughts on doing the inner work by yourself versus somebody having a guide to help you move through that?

Juliet (00:55:27):

I think you can do both. I think that depends on the person and what they feel is working for them. I have seen people who take on healing work, like it’s their job and they don’t, they’re not working with anyone, but they are immersing themselves in books, in resources and they’re, you know, doing workshops and all the things without actually having a specific person like guiding them on a journey, a healing journey. So I don’t think that there’s one way, it just depends on what works better for you. And for me I always love having a guide or a teacher in my life, a mentor, somebody that I can just go back and forth with and share and feel like somebody is holding space for me, that they are going through this with me in some way. And that’s my personal preference is that I’ll probably always be somebody that wants to have a teacher and someone that I can learn from.

Juliet (00:56:32):

And, and to have somebody hold me accountable and not in the way of like, you have to do this, or, you know, you didn’t do it right. Or a good job, but the accountability of knowing that you have that person, that you’re going to almost be a little, like a little bit forced to face yourself on the regular, because it’s really easy to get too shy, to get shy and run away from some of this stuff. You feel a big feeling. If, you know, you feel like, I betrayed myself again. I didn’t, you know, I, I went back into that old pattern or habit and that’s so normal. And, part of this journey is like sometimes retreating into old, into the old patterns that make you feel safe and cozy and familiar with yourself. And so having somebody that can hold space for you and can see you bigger than that, and keep working with you towards going where you want to go, I think could be helpful. It’s easy to kind of just start the journey and then like to shy away from the journey. But if you have someone doing it with you, you have more of a chance of sticking to it and having it be consistent. So that’s my personal preference is finding someone that you can work with when it comes to this stuff.

Abby (00:57:54):

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I found that to be so huge too. I’m all about it, you can get me there a lot faster and a lot more easily than me banging my head against the wall again. And again, let’s do this. And so if someone is looking for a way for you to guide them, looking for you to hold that space for them, that space where they can feel safe and supported and you know, really mind body spirit, cause you’re kind of you to address all of them. Tell me about how they can find you. And, you have a program coming up soon too. So tell me about that.

Juliet (00:58:36):

Well, so I do one-on-one coaching with people and I will take them through a 12-week program. I find it an amazing amount of time to see a huge shift in transformation. And we go through those different layers starting with the body. You know, what are, what’s your relationship with food? If that’s something that you know, well, I think everybody should look at that no matter where you are just, you know, what, what’s going on in your body and does it make you feel good? And is it the right thing to help you have that? You know, minding that gut connection is so important. And then going through the mind, really working on mindset and programming and looking at all of that, and then the spiritual, just getting in touch with, you know, your higher self, your intuition, like, so it’s this beautiful journey that unfolds over 12 weeks of going through those different layers with people.

Juliet (00:59:33):

And it’s just extremely transformative. And then I also, you know, 12 weeks is a big chunk of time. So people will sometimes just do just one-off sessions, healing sessions, or, you know, every other week it is catered to the person. And the, uh, the program that I’m doing is the first group that I’m running, which is sort of condensing all of what I’ve been doing. One-on-one with people into an eight-week program, which is where we talk about all of these things that you and I have discussed in this podcast, the layers of trauma mindset, going into the subconscious shifting programming it’s, but it’s really fun to do it with a group because I can kind of like play off of each other. And I’m in the mentorship with you right now and having other people who share what they’re feeling and what they’re yearning for and what’s bothering them.

Juliet (01:00:28):

And then I was being coached at the moment and watching other people get that is so special. And even, you know, even before I was in the mentorship with you, I did a couple of coaching containers as the participant. And I was like, oh my gosh, I want to do one of these because they’re just so fun. Even though we’re talking about really intense, sometimes heavy things there, you know, it’s like the highlight of my week was like, I can’t wait to like, meet with my group, you know, and be with other people who want to enhance their life and want and are on a healing journey. So yeah, the eight-week group is called a master of your inner world. It’s all about going in there and asking yourself those deep questions and challenging yourself to look at what’s going on in your inner world. That’s affecting my outer world. And the, my perception of my reality, because your perception of your reality is all based on how you see yourself and how you see the world. And so if we can go in there a little bit and ask some deep questions and have a better relationship with that inner part of ourselves, then you really can have such a major transformation. Like so many things change so quickly when you do that.

Abby (01:01:39):

Hmm. It’s amazing how quickly things change from the inside out. So where can people find you?

Juliet (01:01:46):

Yeah, so I may join your program. So I’m on Instagram at Juliet_root, like the tree. And, also my website is rootedpower.com. So all the information about the group and my coaching services there, the group starts soon. So if anybody is interested in joining a program like that, it starts on Wednesday, October 13th, and all the info you can find again on Instagram or my website.

Abby (01:02:15):

I love it. Thank you so much for sharing all this and for doing what you, and I’m so excited for you and everyone who gets to receive this container of support, the space that you hold, and this guidance that you offer. And yeah, it is so fun. I know that in our mentor class that I run with you, it’s like we’re healing these really big deep things, but then at the end of the day afterward, it’s just like, that was just delightful. It’s just so fulfilling. And it’s an interesting dynamic to see how it unfolds with everyone in the group. So,

Juliet (01:02:52):

Well, it’s great that you say that because if you can make this, these kinds of deep topics, you know, trauma if you can make them lighter and more, let’s say fun, but just, they don’t have to be so heavy and scary. If we can normalize this stuff in a way where it’s not scary, it’s a part of who we are that as energetic beings, our bodies store things. And if we don’t look at those things at the moment, then sometimes we have to look at them later and that’s okay. And there’s nothing wrong with that. And just understand that that’s a part of being a human and how we have to take care of ourselves is looking at that. So thank you for doing the work that you do, because it’s been so transformative for my own life and helping me go deeper and helping me access myself even more as a healer and supporting other people. And I’m just so appreciative that I got to, that I’m getting to work with you. I’m really happy about it.

Abby (01:03:54):

Thank you. I appreciate that a lot. That’s what you mentioned earlier. Playful curiosity. Yeah. It can be a lot of fun growing and healing. So happy to be on this journey with you. And thank you so much for being here, sharing your wisdom, sharing your story, and doing this work for people. Thank you so much for listening to this episode with Juliet. It is such a pleasure to get to share in her abundant energy and knowledge and openness and readiness to move forward. And I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did. And we talked briefly about the mentorship that I run, that Juliet is a part of, and this is a six-month program that I run a limited number of times per year. And we have very intimate class sizes. And we connect in this way that enables you to heal anything.

Abby (01:04:53):

That’s been weighing you down, connecting with your passion, with your purpose, and sharing your medicine with the world. And you get a whole bunch of tools and how to do that. So if you’re feeling called to show up in a bigger way, if you’re feeling called for something more, but you’re not quite sure what it is, or if you know that you want to work in the world of healing, then go on over to mindbodyfree.com/mentorship and you’ll be the first to know when the next mentor class becomes available. All right. Thank you for listening and wishing you all so much light, so much love, and peace.

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